Learning To Breathe
by catc20NYNY
Summary: New life awaits those beneath the troubled water’s surface, yet it is up to us, whether we drown trying achieve it or rise above it to be reborn. For Haley, she’s about to face that battle and force those around her to reevaluate their lives as well. NH
1. Forever Young

**Author's Note:** I was going to wait until after JWTF, but I got inspired and couldn't wait. This story will probably be my most complex that contains huge revelations, major drama, and above everything else, true love attempting to conquer all.

This will be a _very_ long story and the first huge chunk will be 95 back-story/flashbacks, alot more back-story than OYE, which will be incredibly juicy. It will answer all your questions about all the characters pasts before we can move on to the present and start a whole new round of questions.

There will also be alot more sexual content in this story than my others. When I get close to crossing the line, which in this story I'll be doing quiet a few times (hehe) I'll have to link it, so I hope that's not a problem.

Also, this story is a tad darker at times, especially in the beginning, but remember not everything is what it seems and these characters are going to evolve in this story, whether it's good or bad, you'll see. ;) There will also be alot of Nathan's POV coming up in the next chapters.

Ok, so I want to thank **Hana** for beta-ing and talking this out with me and **Jess** for pushing me to write it. And a HUGE thank you to **Elena** for the GORGEOUS banner she made me. sigh I wanted a non-moving one this time and she blew me away with what she made and the coloring. The picture of Haley in the middle is one of my all time favorites.

**Chapter One "Forever Young"**

Lets dance in style, lets dance for a while  
Heaven can wait were only watching the skies  
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst  
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?

_Let us die young or let us live forever  
We don't have the power but we never say never  
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip  
The music's for the sad men_

_Some are like water, some are like the heat  
Some are a melody and some are the beat  
Sooner or later they all will be gone  
Why don't they stay young_

_So many adventures couldn't happen today  
So many songs we forgot to play_

**_Youth Group  
_**

"HALEY! GOD PLEASE HALEY!" Brooke screamed as she to fell to her knees at the edge of the pier, tears streaming down her face.

Lucas and Chase came barreling towards Brooke; Lucas taking the sobbing brunette in his arms once they reached her.

"Brooke what's going on? Where's Haley?" Lucas frantically searched his girlfriend's eyes for answers.

"I…I…I don't know. I heard screaming…Haley's…gone…water." She choked out in between sobs that raked through her body, physically causing her pain from their force.

Just then Nathan's head came up from the surface of the chaotic ocean, a lifeless Haley draped in his arms, a gash on the side of her head, bleeding so profusely that her wet dark blonde locks began to take on a deep unnatural auburn hue.

Waves crashed against the pillars supporting the pier and Nathan struggled to keep him and Haley above water. Working fast Chase and Lucas maneuvered to get closer to Nathan and lift Haley from his arms.

Chase held onto Haley tightly, expecting her to suddenly come to life, but she was so still, so _eerily_ still.

Lucas shoved him away from Haley and laid her out across the pier, supporting her neck with one of his hands. Blood then trailed from Haley's wound, flowing down her face, and onto her once perfect white strapless summer dress. At the very least that meant her heart was still pumping, she was still alive…_for now_.

Brooke covered her mouth with her hand, trying to keep from getting sick at the sight. She was frozen in the moment, just as Chase was. The two of them watched helplessly as Lucas take over the situation.

Nathan soon emerged back atop the pier looking to his brother for their next move.

"Let me get her pulse." Placing two fingers along Haley's neck, Lucas located a pulse, but it so faint he prayed he wasn't just imagining it. Taking off his shirt, he threw it to Nathan who began applying pressure to her head wound.

Then as a team Lucas began chest compressions, Nathan blowing air into Haley's mouth as Chase finally kneeled down beside them to keep Lucas's shirt against Haley's gash.

The once crisp pale blue button-down shirt was now soaked with Haley's blood and every centimeter of the blue fabric now a deep crimson.

And while Lucas and Nathan were focused on breathing life back into her body all Brooke could focus on was her best friend's blood and the frightening reality that Haley had lost too much.

The next few seconds seemed to last an eternity. Brooke didn't even hear the paramedics rush up behind her not a minute later. Soon they had yanked the boys off Haley and rushed her off in an ambulance.

And then it was over, nothing but silence was left, as all eyes stayed glued to where the ambulance had driven off moments before.

Lucas took Brooke's hand and began to lead her away from the pier, but Brooke retracted her hand from his, with such force she stumbled backwards, having to catch herself on a support beam. "Your hands." She pointed at them.

Bringing his hands up to the light shining down from a spot light above him, Lucas felt his stomach lurch. Blood was all over his hands and it wasn't even the blood that fazed him, it was the fact it was Haley's blood, his best friend's blood. He'd watched it stream out of her, felt her weakening pulse, and held her limp body.

It was then he realized, he had actually he felt her dying. He watched her life literally drain from her body and with that comprehension came the horrifying fear that she would never make it back to them. Never light up another person's soul with that smile of hers, never tease him about his singing, never be there for him when he could turn to no one else and worst of all never get to live her life the way she'd always dreamed.

"Let's go!" Chase waited at the beginning of the pier.

Brooke looked only at Luke. "I'm not going."

Chase, fed up and not wanting to wait another second to be with Haley, took off to get his car and head to the hospital, Nathan following close behind.

"Brooke, it's Haley we have to go."

Ignoring him Brooke sat down on the wet section of the pier where Haley's body had just laid and dangled her feet off the side. "I can't leave Lucas."

Slowly he sat down next to her. "Why not?" he asked carefully, not understanding, yet not wanting to upset her even more.

Her lips trembled as she let out her next words in a hoarse whisper. "Because, if Haley's gone Luke, that means she died at this pier, and she…she's still here. I'm not leaving this spot until I know for sure that she's all right and if…" a sob caught in her throat, "if she's not then she'll know I never left her. I just won't leave her alone Luke. She hates being alone."

Wrapping his arms around his girlfriend in a symbol of unwavering support, he waited with her…waited to see if all their lives were about to change forever.

Three hours earlier… 

"Haley!" Brooke cheered as she got a glimpse of her best friend strolling through the front door looking gorgeous in a flirty summer dress in a clean white shade, as pure as the driven snow, much like the virgin wearing it. Hopefully, her friend would change that latter part of her statement soon.

Glancing around, Haley saw all the tell-tale signs of a Brooke Davis party taking place. Alcohol was flowing, people were groping, and the music was blaring. "Tigger, it's fabulous, as usual." Haley kissed Brooke's cheek once she reached her.

"Eek, I know." Brooke beamed taking in the sight. "Although it sucked not having you help me get ready. I can't believe your parents actually came to graduation."

"Tell me about it. They've missed the last three Christmases and birthdays, but when it comes to my academics they want to act like the supportive perfect parents. Of course, they left an hour ago to fly back, surprise, surprise," Haley deadpanned

Brooke grabbed a bright blue plastic cup from someone passing by and handed it to Haley. "I know you hardly ever do, but I think it's necessary tonight. Besides you have the whole summer to not obsess about being the next great James surgeon. It's time to let loose."

Cocking her head to the side, she smiled conspiratorially. "What the hell?" She rhetorically mused, accepting the cup, bringing it to her lips and taking a large sip, the strength of the vodka burning her throat as it went down.

Clutching her throat, her eyes veered to the front door swinging open, revealing the infamous Scott brothers. Made that way first by their father's skills on the court and second by their own.

Nathan and Lucas Scott were the son's of Dan Royal Scott, sports legend slash car dealership owner slash Mayor of Tree Hill, for the last three years, and Deborah Lee Scott, daughter of one the oldest families in the South and charity guru. Not that you ever saw her much though, what with her work focused mainly in New York, as well as her rumored lovers.

The brothers were actually half brothers and two years apart, Lucas being the youngest and Nathan not actually being Deb's biological child. Dan's high school sweetheart, Karen Roe, another Tree Hill alum, was eight months pregnant, the summer before they were due to start college together, when she was hit by a drunk driver. Nathan was delivered while his mother was on life support, and she was taken off not long after his first cries.

A year later Dan, who was still at school, while his son was being raised by his parents, managed to knock up Deb Lee barely a month after they began seeing each other. With her family's status he really only had one choice. They were married before she began to show and Lucas was born a healthy eight-pound preemie seven months later.

With Deb's money, Dan dropped out of school and from the Duke basketball program claiming a knee injury, which to this day is still questioned. Then he moved his new family back to TH, regained custody of Nathan, and opened a dealership.

Luckily, the two brothers had never let their parent's history define their relationship. They had always been close even if they were polar opposites off the court. Lucas was blonde, Nathan was dark headed, Lucas loved school and literature, Nathan loved parties and the perks of the game, Lucas was sensitive and Nathan was closed off. She could go on forever.

"Haley, please don't get into him with him tonight, it won't be good for your buzz. It's so ridiculous that you two can't ever be in the same room without getting into a screaming match. You'd think being best friends with his brother since we could ride bikes would make a difference."

Haley scoffed. "He's an ass Brooke. We've never liked each other, end of story. Some people just aren't meant to get along in this world."

"Whatever, just avoid him because I want you to have fun tonight Hales." Brooke put her arm around Haley in a side hug. The stress Haley had been under to secure her Valedictorian spot and meet her parents' standards had done a number on her this year. She needed a break.

Her parents were world class surgeons, who traveled the world lecturing. When Haley was only fifteen, they'd permanently moved to Boston for work, but let Haley stay in the house in Tree Hill with the live in maid who barely spoke a work of English.

Haley's parents were much like her own. Different job titles, but the same neglect. It's what had brought her and Haley together. When they were five year olds their parents left them at school for a good hour after classes had ended and they'd played on the see saw the entire time they waited, not knowing then, that that hour would literally be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Leaning her head against Brooke's, Haley smiled. "Don't worry, I plan on it. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives."

Getting excited, Brooke pulled away from Haley and jumped on top of a nearby table, garnering everyone's attention on her. The guys were hoping for a strip tease and the girls planning to kill her if she did.

Making a lowering motion with her hands, she achieved success in getting someone to turn down the music, however, she wouldn't start until everyone from outside had made their way in.

"Hey Pookie." Chase came up behind Haley, tickling her sides.

Shifting to face him, she pecked his lips. "Hey, I never got the chance to thank you for coming to dinner with me tonight. I couldn't handle being alone with my parents."

"Your parents love me and I've been doing this for the last eight years so you can quit thanking me now," he teasingly ordered, then kissed her back.

God, it had been eight years. Sometimes it still felt like yesterday, when best friends Chase Adams and Lucas Scott bravely marched up to her and Brooke during fifth grade recess and kissed their cheeks. Ever since that day, the four of them, her with Chase and Brooke with Lucas, made up the two golden couples of their grade and eight years later nothing had changed.

Once Brooke spotted the last few stragglers come in, she began her toast. "Ok, now I'm sorry to disappoint you all but I'm not stripping." A series of boos rang out to which Brooke giggled, blowing a reassuring kiss to Lucas.

"Anyway, my best friend, Miss Haley James," This time a series of cheers rang out. "I know, I love her too." Brooke grinned. "She was saying how today is the first day of the rest of our lives and she's right. So raise your glasses because we're young, we're hot, we're FREE!" she loudly proclaimed raising her cup even higher.

The crowd yelled in agreement, as they chugged their drinks and took their shots. They were teenagers who at that stage in their lives were reveling in the most powerful drug of all; having the world at your fingertips and truly believing you are invincible.

…

A little over an hour later, Haley found herself sharing a porch swing with Lucas Scott, his arm around her, her head on his shoulder.

"You better not pass out already?" he joked; glancing down at her closed lids.

"I'm not, I'm just trying to stop the room from spinning."

He pulled her tighter to him. Out of the four of them, he and Haley were the most alike. While Chase and Brooke were always bouncing off the walls, he and Haley never needed words or distractions, they could simply be together not saying anything and enjoy themselves.

There was only one other person he'd ever felt that with, even if it was on a completely different level—a romantic level.

She idly played with his silk Navy tie, which was completely undone and draped around his neck. He'd complained all graduation about that damn tie and she figured he'd have that knot undone the second the robe was off and she was right. "So, how's your brother?"

He quirked an eyebrow at that. "Why are you asking about Nathan? Is he bothering you?"

She traced the rim of her cup with her finger. "No, I was just curious. He hasn't been home in a couple months."

"Yeah, I know it's weird. He lives twenty minutes away and is usually home all the time and lately nothing. Probably was busting his ass for finals I guess."

"Yeah, I guess," Haley softly agreed. "We got the apartment by the way. Brooke and I will be living next door to you and Chase come August."

He kissed the top of her head. "The way it's meant to be, huh?"

Lifting her head to look at him, she wanted so badly to tell him everything, tell him she was drowning, beg him to help her, to not turn his back on her, but her mouth went dry. Fear of disappointing every one else swallowing her whole once again. Her life was a lie; her future was a lie, yet to everyone else, it was her destiny.

"Hales, are you all right?" He searched her tear filled eyes with his worried ones.

Shaking her head, she managed a smile, a fake one, but still a smile. "Don't listen to me, I'm drunk, my parents suck and it's just getting to me tonight."

Watching her stand, he couldn't help but notice her wobble a bit on her platform wedges. "You're going to break your neck."

Grabbing the end of his tie, she swept it off his neck and tied it around her waist, adding an alluring intensity to her outfit as she did in all the lives she touched.

"And leave you to alone? Never Luke," she promised with a wink and then in a blink of an eye she was gone. And it would be the last time he saw her until he pulled her body from what could very well have been her watery grave.

…

He'd watched her all night, waiting for the moment he could get her alone and now it was time.

Reaching out, he yanked her arm forcing her into a darkened bedroom. "Damn it Chase," she snapped, holding her hand to her heart.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He closed the door behind them, locking it.

Sitting on the bed, she waited for him to join her.

"I know you're thinking I brought you in here for sex," he seductively read her mind.

She bit her bottom lip.

"But I have a present for you." He took a small box out of his pants pocket

Her mouth dropped open. "Please tell me that's not what I think it is?"

He shook his head, chuckling. "Easy there, I know we're not getting married till we graduate college, you've made it clear your education comes first. I just wanted to give you something a little extra special for graduation."

Giving him a thank you kiss on the cheek first, she unwrapped the bright pink wrapping, revealing a plain white box with the signature gold leafing of a local jewelry's store label on the top.

Opening it up, she found a delicate white gold bangle bracelet lying on a pillow of green satin, also another staple of the store. It was simple, elegant, and very sweet. "It's beautiful." She slipped it on.

"You're beautiful." He ran a hand through her hair, pulling her into a deep kiss.

Before she could get her bearings, he had her flat on her back, his hand sliding beneath her dress, inching closer and closer to her center.

If only she could she lose herself in him, but it was impossible. Taking that final step with him would reveal her darkest secret, that'd she'd lost her virginity years ago, even before Brooke, the day of her sixteen birthday.

That night had changed every thing she thought she knew and two years later her life was still in disarray.

Opening up Pandora's box wasn't something she was prepared for and at times she wondered if she ever would. There were just too many hidden truths she'd worked so long and hard to protect.

Rolling him to the side, she pulled her lips from his. "Not tonight…not like this, ok?"

Taking a deep breath, he stroked her cheek. "Sure, we have the rest of our lives, right?"

"Right." She smiled, even when though her heart was screaming to run away from him and from everything.

…

Stumbling out of the room not ten minutes later, citing the need to find Brooke, she ran smack into the hard chest of the one and only Nathan Royal Scott.

"Did you give it up?" he sneered, his voice full of contempt.

"Go to hell," she spit back, turning away from him.

Grabbing her arm, he spun her around to him. "You first."

Snatching her arm back, she placed it on her hip, to aid her pose of indigence. "No thanks, standing here with you is close enough."

Smirking, he chugged the rest of his crown and coke and tossed it haphazardly on the floor, smirking even more when he caught her rolling her eyes. "I haven't seen you drunk in awhile."

'_God, he was random.' _The boy was a master at switching gears and throwing her off her guard. "I'm not drunk," she defended, then true to form stumbled on her own two feet, Nathan catching her in his strong tan arms.

Groaning, in defeat, she looked up at him, "Ok, I'm a little bit drunk."

Sitting her down on a near by decorative trunk, he stayed upright, leaning against the wall opposite her. "Nice speech today."

She blinked a few times, in surprise, at the fact he was there. He was Lucas's brother, though, so she should have expected it, maybe her mind was just mentally blocking that fact out.

"It was all bullshit," she finally replied, playing with a loose piece of wicker beside her.

"I know, but you still looked hot. Actually made being forced to go by my parents tolerable."

Struggling to her feet, she took two steps till she was up against him, pressing her body into his. "Then it was worth it." She smiled suggestively up to him, throwing _him_ off guard with her own switching of the gears.

She didn't know why she was doing this and if you had told an hour ago she would she would have slapped you. Nevertheless, all she knew, in that moment was that she was tired of _pretending_, tired of being _numb_.

Feeling himself harden, as he always did in her presence, he forced his urges down. Grabbing her by the wrists, he shoved her back down to the trunk, "Stop."

Then with that single last word, he left her, alone—her worst fear.

Little did he know, he'd find her alone again that same night, only she wouldn't be breathing and he'd be wishing to God he wasn't either.

* * *

Cath 


	2. Closer

**Author's Note: **Thanks you guys so much for the AMAZING reviews. Each one meant the world to me and I hope this chapter meets your expectations. This chapter is a high 5 for MATURE language and sexual situations, so proceed with caution. ;) I can't wait to see what you all think.

Thanks to Christina and Bec for looking this over and getting it post ready. hugs This is to every NHer who still can't wipe the smiles off their faces from James Lucas Scott's arrival. :)

**Chapter Two "Closer"**

____

You let me violate you  
You let me desecrate you  
You let me penetrate you  
You let me complicate you

Help me...  
I broke apart my insides  
Help me...  
I've got no soul to sell  
Help me...  
the only thing that works for me  
Help me get away from myself,

I wanna fuck you like an animal  
I wanna feel you from the inside  
I wanna fuck you like an animal  
My whole existence is flawed  
You get me closer to God

**Nine Inch Nails**

_**May 31st, 2005**_

"How much does it suck I have to miss my best friend's sixteenth birthday?" Brooke pouted hugging Haley for the fifth time in the last minute.

"As much as you hate to admit it Brooke, you want to see your parents and you should. Chase is gone visiting his new nephew anyway and when you both get back we'll celebrate, I promise."

Lucas came up alongside the two. "Don't worry Cheery, I'm sure I'll manage to find a party at Duke tonight and force a beer or two down her."

Turning on her heels, Brooke pecked his lips. "Good, you better. Seriously, the thought of the two of you actually staying at Duke for the night and not partying scares me. I don't know how I got involved with such nerds."

Haley punched in the arm; "Hey just because Lucas and I signed up for an academic conference does not make us nerds. We just want to see what the school has to offer besides alcohol and sex."

Pursing her lips, Brooke cocked a hand on her hip. "Who said anything about sex? Lucas Scott when I said party I did not mean sex with horny drunk co-eds."

"Brooke, I'm going with your best friend, who would probably steal a scalpel from her father and castrate me if I even looked at another girl."

Brooke awed. "Would you do that for me Hales?"

"In the blink of an eye." Haley replied, giving a reassuring wink to Lucas.

Checking his cell, Lucas noticed they better get on the road if they wanted to make the conference. "We better go."

"Ok, call us when you land, Brooke." Haley blew her a kiss and hopped into Lucas's 65 Mustang convertible. She loved when he kept the top down.

…

A few miles and one agreement on listening to the latest _Bright Eyes_ album, _'I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning'_, later, Lucas brought up a painful subject.

"Did they call?"

Sighing, Haley played with the mid thigh hem of her short white peasant skirt that she'd worn with a pale pink cotton cami. She'd brought more clothes in her bag, well more like Brooke packed her more, but for a slideshow and graphics presentation about the school's stats, what she was wearing was just fine. If Lucas did force her to go out she'd have to change, though, per Brooke's orders.

"I know you don't like to talk about it." Lucas pushed a little more when she hadn't responded.

She let out another long sigh. "They left a message this morning or should I say a secretary from Boston General left me a message."

"I'll never understand your parents, Hales."

'You and me both. Doesn't matter anyways, I've missed you Luke. I'm glad we're doing this." Haley turned and smiled at him.

He smiled in return before turning back to the road. "Me too, Hales. With finals and our significant others, we've barely had two seconds of Bunny Beauregard and Rocket Roe time."

Haley laughed as she bent over to switch it to a different song. "I can't believe you still remember our porn names. What were Chase and Brooke's again?"

"Arrow Anderson and Jellybean Jacobs."

"Oh, to be twelve again." Haley pondered whimsically.

"I wouldn't mind going back sometimes." Lucas confessed, a slight sadness in his voice.

Looking over at him, Haley agreed. "I know what you mean, before everything got complicated."

"And we all fell in love."

"Did you?" Haley surprised herself by asking. "I mean did you just wake up one day and know Brooke was it for you?"

Popping his neck, Lucas thought for a second. "I don't really know." He laughed. "Honestly, I guess it just happened with time, you know?"

"Yeah, but do you ever wonder if you did just because it was expected?"

He shot his eyes quickly to her, "Expected? What's this about? Are you having a midlife crisis at sixteen?"

She rolled her eyes and turned the radio down. "I'm being serious. You and I have been with Brooke and Chase since we were eight years old. How is it not expected?"

"True, but expected can be another word for natural. Maybe it happened because we were meant to be?"

Growing tired or maybe just giving up, she dropped it. "I know you're right and I love Chase. He's always been there for me. I'm just being stupid, ignore me."

Reaching behind him, Lucas grabbed a silver gift bag and handed it to her. "It's your birthday. You're entitled to one freak out. Now open your present."

"Yay!" Haley bounced in her seat, pushing some white tissue paper to the side and picking up her gift. "Lucas…'The Heart of Thoreau's Journals '? Thank you so much." She gushed, running her hand over the cover.

"I also got you tickets to see Dashboard, but they won't be sent for another week." He explained. "Open it."

Grinning, she did, finding a personal note on top of the first page in Lucas's script;

_Dear Hales,_

'_Live each season as it passes, breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit and resign yourself to the influences of each.'_

_Happy Birthday,_

_Luke_

"Thank you." She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"You're welcome."

…

"I really like it here." Haley declared, taking in the sights of the beautifully manicured campus as they strolled from the academic building to the basketball house where they'd be staying, which by all standards was pretty bad ass compared to average college kids lodging. It was a gigantic brick home with fifteen spacious bedrooms, two kitchens, eight bathrooms, and luxury gym and game room.

The only negative was they were staying with freshman wonder boy Nathan Scott, who had just moved there the previous week and was no doubt already a campus legend in every possible way.

She and Nathan had never gotten along. From the very first day Lucas had brought her home, Nathan had made it his life's mission to torment her and vice versa. The passing years did nothing but fuel it.

Within a few minutes of being in the same room the taunting would start, leading to the insults, then leading to either a screaming match or ignoring each other for the rest of the night.

She'd never understood why Nathan had always singled her out or why she let him get to her, but it worked for them, even if it drove Lucas and others up the wall.

"It is beautiful. Ok, so it's barely seven. How about we get changed and you let me take you out for a nice birthday dinner. If we hurry we can get back right after everyone gets back from practice and the party starts."

"Sounds like a plan."

…

Walking out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, Haley spotted Lucas sitting on one of the twin beds of the room they were sharing, typing on his laptop.

He glanced up at her. "Should I find it offensive that you obviously don't think of me as a male?"

Taking the towel in her hair down, she tossed it at him. "No, you're just more brother than potential horny male."

"Good to know. Oh, Chase called. He wants you to call him back."

Nodding, she grabbed her phone, found his name and clicked send.

He answered on the first ring. "How's the birthday girl?"

"Fine, just getting out of the shower. There's supposed to be some party later tonight."

Chase chuckled. "You better be good."

"Aren't I always?" She sarcastically retorted.

"Without fail."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"A little touchy today? Damn, I just meant that I know you better than anyone and you're not that kind of girl." He answered without a touch of doubt in his voice.

'_He knew her better than anyone?' _No one knew her.

"Listen Chase, I need to get ready. You're usually cheap best friend is taking me out to eat." Haley shot a playful look to Lucas and he shot her the finger.

"Good. I'll call you later tonight."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to be at a party and probably won't hear it ring. We'll just talk in the morning."

"You always get bored at parties, Haley. I'll call you later. I love you."

"Me too." She replied, then turned her cell completely off.

Facing Lucas again, she found him staring at her with concern. "Seriously, Haley what's going on? You never act that way with Chase."

"What way?"

"Like your two seconds away from smothering him with a pillow. You're so damn annoyed."

She sat down dejectedly on the bad beside him. "My grandmother called today and told me I reminded her so much of my mother. That by my age my mom had met my father, had perfect grades, never missed curfew and was always so mature."

"Doesn't sound so bad." Lucas offered.

"Sounds boring." She sadly replied. "Like if we close our eyes we can literally picture each day of the rest of our lives."

"Wow." Suddenly, Lucas was met with the shocking realty that she was right. Having everything planned was boring as hell. The last few years of both their lives had become ridiculously routine; they were sixteen not sixty. "We need to get drunk tonight Haley. I mean falling on the ground, swinging from the rafters drunk."

"Yea we do."

…

A half-hour later Lucas returned to their room with a bottle of Everclear and burgers. Instead of wasting time at a restaurant where there was no way in hell they could drink, they thought they might as well wait for the party in the comfort of their room and warm up with a few shots.

Closing the door behind him, he looked up when he heard Haley came out of the bathroom. "Uh…"

She grinned at his shell-shocked expression and spun for him, giving him the full view of her black soft jersey knit mini tank dress, with a deep scoop neckline, that flowed loosely over her curves while still clinging to them. It was a casual dress, perfect for a party, and just happened to be sexy as hell.

Of course, it probably didn't help that instead of dressing it down with flats she was donning four inch black spiked heels _'Live and learn._'

The only thing she hadn't planned was the material of her dress being too thin for a bra, but by the grace of god she, or more likely Brooke, had packed a matching seamless thong, so that was something.

"Shouldn't you be wearing pants?" Lucas finally stumbled out, still not believing what he was looking at. He'd never seen her like that before. Her sun kissed skin was glowing and there was a lot to see given the fact her dress barely covered her ass and her breasts were practically on display.

"I decided to sex it up a bit." She smiled, pouring herself a shot and quickly downing it, grimacing at the taste that closely resembled rubbing alcohol.

"Well, that you did," He let out a long whistle. She was strictly his best friend, but that didn't mean he was blind.

Taking a small bag out of her purse, she removed a pair of large silver hoop earrings from it. "Take a shot, Luke." She ordered, slipping the hoops through her ears and securing them.

Doing as instructed, he took his shot like a man and slammed it down on the table.

Over the next thirty minutes they polished of about a half a dozen shots each and given that they weren't normally drinkers they were pretty well on their way to drunk.

Hearing music start playing downstairs and the sound of a herd of people barrel through the front door, Haley put the top back on the bottle, realizing the night was young and she needed to pace herself.

Getting to her feet, Haley faced Lucas and raised her arms to pull up her thick wavy blonde hair high on head. "Up or down?"

"Down and please keep your arms down too the rest of the night. Your dress, or slightly longer than normal tank top, as I call it, because I'm sorry but there is no way that's a dress, is short enough."

Sitting back down, she crossed her legs. "See? I can cross my legs, and my ass is still not even close to showing, so the length is perfectly acceptable"

"Whatever James. So, you ready to face the masses?" He stood holding out his hand to her.

Realizing she needed to touch up her lip-gloss and maybe add a touch more of her favorite magnolia scented lotion to her skin, she waved Lucas's hand away. "You go ahead. I need to find my lip gloss." She deterred him, as she began to dig through her purse.

Saluting her first, for some inane reason that she chalked up to the Everclear, he left her alone to her own devices.

…

"Well, well if it isn't Lucas Scott."

Taking the last step on the stairs, Lucas came face to face with his brother, "Hey man."

They shook hands and gave each other a half hug in typical guy fashion.

Nathan squinted his eyes, trying to focus on his brother's. "Are you already wasted?"

"Nah, getting there though." He winked, a goofy grin adorning his face.

Glancing around, Nathan didn't see Haley. "Where's the ice princess?"

Frowning, Lucas shook his head in aggravation. "Lay off her today, ok? It's her birthday. She doesn't need your bullshit."

Nathan held up a hand in defense, "Whatever man, I'll admit I'm a dick, but she's nothing but a bitch to me so don't lay it all it all on me."

"Just stay away from her." Lucas warned, not in the mood to play referee tonight.

"As you can see Luke," Nathan looked over at a group of girls that had just walked in and already started eyeing him, "I'm going to be pretty occupied. I don't feel like wasting time on her anymore than she does on me. Now the kegs are in the back, the liquor's in the kitchen. Have a good time brother." He encouraged with a pat on the shoulder and a quick glance to the stairs behind his brother's back.

Not that he cared one way or the other about Haley James, but she had always been a good source of entertainment for him and tonight would no exception, no matter what Lucas spouted.

Tim Smith walked up to Nathan, a cup of alcohol in each hand. "How's it hanging my Homie?"

Trying to hinder his sudden surge of annoyance, Nathan took a drink from him and gulped half of it down.

As always, Tim just laughed. "Have you seen the fine ass in here tonight?" Tim scoped out the room again.

"Same old, same old." Nathan returned unfazed. They all blended together to him, one nameless whore after another. All he had to do was smile and they opened their legs. When he was younger he'd found that a plus, but now it was just pitiful.

They'd praise him like he was a God, before during and after, all the while giggling nonstop, laughing at every word he said and telling him they'd give anything be his—it was beyond pathetic and becoming a huge turn off.

It had gotten to the point he could barely muster the energy to even rise to the occasion, not that he couldn't, it was just seeming less and less worth it. Pretty sad, when at eighteen your dick was already bored senseless.

He'd figured you could only go so long before your 'other' head couldn't stay silent any longer.

"Mother fuckerrrrrrrrrrrrr." Tim drew out, as he stared open mouthed at the goddess he'd just spotted.

Looking back to see what Tim was gawking at, Nathan did a double take as Haley James glided down the stairs. "Mother fuckerrrrrrrrrrrr."

She had always been gorgeous, a true natural beauty, but she'd never dared to flaunt it like she was doing tonight; demanding everyone's eyes on her and only her. This sure as hell wasn't the Haley James she pretended to be. However, he doubted this was who she wanted to be either.

Noticing their stares, Haley felt a jolt of confidence shoot through her. "Nathan." She acknowledged him, offering him a nod as her heels touched the landing.

Recovering, Nathan openly raked his eyes over her body, his cocky smirk returning. "What's with the dress James?"

"It my sixteenth birthday, can't I live a little?"

"Fuck, you're sixteen?" Tim bitterly exasperated.

She turned her body to Tim. "Actually Timmy, in North Carolina the legal age is sixteen."

As he drooled, she swiped his remaining drink from him "See you later guys." She told them both; however, she let her eyes linger over only Nathan before turning away and getting lost in the masses.

Wearing khaki shorts, a black polo shirt, flip-flops and a black Duke cap, it didn't escape her that he was all prep and all sex.

She'd seen him with his shirt off more times than she could count, especially when Lucas forced her to watch him and Nathan play one on one, so she knew his body was incredible, his abs something out of a magazine and he knew it too. She'd never seen him anything but aware of his power over the opposite sex.

His features had leading man written all over them and one day those features would be endorsing companies such as Nike, Gatorade, Sprite, McDonalds, etc. He was that good at the game and that good-looking.

…

An hour later, Nathan found his brother puking in a near by toilet. "Shit, Luke." He laughed as his brother slumped back against the wall.

"Shut the fuck up." Lucas mumbled back, his eyes closed. "Where's P..."

"Where's who?"

Lucas lost his train of thought.

Helping his brother to his feet, which was not an easy task given that he was getting pretty wasted himself, Nathan guided Lucas out of the restroom, up the stairs and to the room he and Haley were sharing.

Dumping him on one of the twin beds, Nathan pulled up a small trashcan next to it. "See ya tomorrow bro."

Swaggering back down the stairs, he spotted her again, this time drunk off her ass and swamped by at least six horny assholes on the dance floor.

The room was spinning, but Haley could care less as she moved her body seductively to the sound of the music. She could feel their hands all over her, begging her to turn to them, to let them make her theirs. It was empowering yet none of them held even an ounce of control over her and tonight she wanted that, she wanted to surrender her control to someone else, to be taken; she wanted to feel alive.

Without warning, she felt all the hands disappear and then a single pair return to encircle her waist from behind and pull her body back forcefully against his, his rock hard dick making it's presence known against her lower back. He was obviously tall and packing, a combination that was quickly making her wet with desire.

Nathan threw his head back and groaned when she bent forward pushing her ass up and into his crouch. She felt so fucking good. When she came back up and reached back to feel his own hips, he moved his hands upward, cupping her breasts through her dress, feeling her shiver in his arms.

Everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch the couple having dry sex on the dance floor. Their hands were all over each other, the guy's mouth sucking on her neck, the girl's moans floating through the room, as he grinded harder into her.

It was making everyone with a pulse horny as hell. All the girls wishing to be the girl in Nathan's arms and all the guys willing to throw their dates out the window to be up behind Haley.

Spinning around, Haley came face to face with the man she was aching to mount and she was met with the dark cobalt eyes of Nathan Scott and they were filled with complete and utter want for her. She couldn't have stopped even if she wanted to. Reaching between them, she grabbed his rigid length, with a wicked a grin. "You wanna get out of here?"

"Fuck yes," He breathed, bending down to capture her lips in a sizzling kiss, his fingers digging into her hips, hers still stroking him to the point of insanity.

Reluctantly wrenching his mouth from hers, he grabbed her arm and practically dragged her up the stairs to his thankfully private room. Not that it would have mattered. He had been a split second away from fucking her on that dance floor with everyone watching mere moments before.

Once inside, he slammed her against a side wall, running his hands up her bare thighs, moving her dress up with them, until he was gripping her bare ass.

"This is wrong," She finally got out, although when he slipped two fingers deep inside her, all rational thoughts flew out of her head.

"What were you saying?" He taunted stroking her magic spot, deep inside her, feeling it swell, causing her to scream out.

Never in her life had she felt pleasure like she was experiencing now. Chase had always made her feel good when they fooled around, but nothing even close to this.

She always thought she was wanted to save herself for marriage when apparently all it took was a guy who knew what they were doing to change her mind. That didn't say a lot about her, she figured, although right now she didn't give a damn.

A tiny voice in his head knew she was right, this was wrong. It wasn't a secret her virtue was still in tact, in fact it had been one of the main subjects he used to tease her over the last couple years.

But her body was begging him to wipe all that away, take away what everyone thought of her and make her forget she'd ever lived before.

He wasn't the good guy anyway, never had been, so why in the hell should he start now when he'd never been more turned on in his life?

Picking her up, he led her to his double sized bed, dropping her down on top so he could pull his shirt over his head as she took off her heels off and tossed them on the floor.

Sliding back on the bed some more, Haley licked her lips as her eyes soaked in the image of his bare chest. Rubbing her legs together, in attempt to control the throbbing, she finally felt just how wet she was when her thighs began to feel slick against the other.

Undoing his belt, he knew she was ready to explode and unfortunately he was too. He needed to take care of that before the big show.

"C'mere." He demanded, his tone not leaving the subject open to discussion.

Crawling on all fours, she made it to the end of the bed, where he was standing, his member now sprung free, in all its glory.

When she was close enough, he grabbed her by the hair, shoving her face to the tip of him that was glistening with a few drops of his fluid.

Her tongue licked up the droplets, poking into his opening as she did, an act that blew Nathan's mind and almost his load.

With one hand, she pumped him, as her mouth gradually took him in as far as she could go without choking. The rumors had been true—he was huge.

Moaning, he gripped her hair with both hands, guiding her to the speed he craved.

Sucking harder, she grazed his shaft with her teeth, sending him jerking forward in pleasure shoving himself even further into her warm tantalizing mouth.

It took everything in her not to gag, but she held firm picking up her speed and not twenty seconds later, he was shooting down her throat in long warm spurts.

"Jesus." He ground out once she'd sucked him dry.

When he saw her lick a wayward drop off her lips, he was ready to go again. In one fell swoop, he had her dress over her head and in a tiny heap on his floor, leaving her clad in nothing but a wisp of a black microfiber thong.

Tearing it off her, because what was the fun in just taking it off, he pushed her back on the bed.

Climbing on with her, he stopped at her legs, spreading them apart slowly revealing her soakin' center that was overflowing to her thighs.

Bending down, he placed hot open mouthed kissed up her right thigh, until he tasted her.

That's when his tongue replaced his lips as he began to lap up every ounce of her, which was pretty useless as the act itself was only causing her to produce even more.

Reaching her core, he ran his tongue up and down her velvety folds, as she moaned his name, a sound that usually only served to disturb him, but coming from her it was the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Flicking his tongue over her bundle of nerves, she mimicked his earlier actions and ran her fingers though his hair, holding him to her. As his mouth worked its magic, one of his hands snaked up to her right breast and began kneading it, spurring on her moans of pleasure.

Before she knew it her heart felt as if it was going to explode as she rode wave after wave of sexual gratification.

Sitting up and making an obvious point of wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he smirked down at her. "Chase ever get you off?"

As if a cold bucket of water had been poured over her head, Haley stiffened, fire in her eyes. "Don't say his name."

He scoffed, grabbing a condom from the nightstand. "You do know you just cheated on him, don't you darlin'? Seems you don't give a fuck about him either." He tore the wrapper open and rolled the condom down his shaft.

She scrambled into a sitting position, grabbing a pillow to cover herself. "You don't know a fucking thing about Chase and me."

Snatching the pillow away from her, he threw it behind him, then took hold of her legs and yanked her flat on her back. "I know one thing, he'll never take what's mine."

She laughed out loud at that, pulling him down for a heated kiss before breathlessly declaring, "Just fuck me."

He paused only for a brief second looking into her eyes, but when she grabbed his hard length and placed it at her opening, it was time.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled out, knowing she was about to encounter pain she never knew existed, as he shoved her legs apart and slammed into her, literally ripping through her and bringing her to tears. Slow and easy wouldn't made her forget the pain, she may see it as brutal, but he knew quick and hard would get her past the pain and let her experience all sex has to offer

… 

He was fierce, as the tears poured down her cheeks, yet soon the line between pleasure and pain began to blur, faster than her friends had ever told her it had when they'd lost theirs. Maybe the Band-Aid approach wasn't such a bad idea.

Still, she hated him even more, as he relentlessly pounded into her, claiming her as his. She had never owed him anything and now he had taken something from her that wasn't his to take.

Deep down, she knew he wasn't solely to blame, that night she had wanted him more than anything in her entire life, but logic had never had a place in her world.

Nevertheless, the ride wasn't over yet and if she was going down she was going to enjoy every last second of her fall from grace.

The feeling of her legs wrapping around his back and urging him even deeper, had him saying her own name. Dipping his head down he took one of her perfect rounded breasts into his mouth, sucking hard on her erect nipple, biting down hard every now and then as she writhed beneath him, another orgasm on its way.

Meeting his hips violently on each upstroke, she fell over the edge into a lust filled oblivion as her muscles contracted around him.

Her tears now dry and her body ablaze, she took him by surprise, flipping them over, his cock never leaving her hot tight walls.

She didn't really know what she was doing; however her instincts and the way Nathan touched her, seemed to guide her effortlessly.

Digging her nails into his chest, she rose up and slammed back down, watching his eyes roll back in his head, much to her delight. Finding a rhythm, she rocked her hips like a pro, discovering a perverse amount of satisfaction in hearing Nathan repeatedly chant her name in his lust laced voice.

Nathan's fingers clamped tightly into her hips; his eyes closing shut in overwhelming delirium. If he hadn't taken her virginity a good twenty minutes before, he never would have believed this was her first time. There was something about the way she moved, the way she kissed and the way she touched. Something electric that woke up every nerve in his body, something that he'd never felt with anyone else.

A few swirls and grinds later, the euphoric pressure that had been building deep within their lower regions, reached its brink, sending a blast of orgasmic reverberations throughout both their bodies.

Haley clutched her breasts and screamed his name from the top of her lungs, all self control gone as Nathan uncontrollably and repeatedly jerked upward filling the condom until every last drop was gone.

Spent, she fell limply against his firm athletic chest.

Neither said a word or moved for the next several minutes as they caught their breaths and tried to hold on to the sensations that had made them see God just moments ago.

Slowly, Haley lifted herself off him and sat down beside him. When he still said nothing, Haley made a move to leave.

His hand latched onto her wrist, keeping her on the bed. "I'm not done with you yet."

As he pulled her back to him, she saw it—blood—on his pale blue comforter. And unlike before, when her hormones were surging and she hadn't been fucked sober, she couldn't hold back the reality that Nathan Scott really had just taken her virginity and there was no going back.

Following her line of sight, he saw it too and the weight of what he'd done hit him just as hard as it had her.

Unlatching his hand from her wrist, he got off the bed and slipped on his gray boxer briefs. "You wanted this Haley, I didn't force you. Don't fucking go crying to Lucas."

She let out a huff of resentment. "Don't flatter yourself. I won't even remember this in the morning and if I do, be damn sure I'll spend the rest of my life regretting it."

_**May 31**__**st**__**, 2007**_

"Nate?" Lucas nudged his brother who was sitting in a hard plastic chair, his head resting on his own shoulder, half asleep.

Shaking himself out of his sleep deprived haze, Nathan discovered Luke beside him with an outstretched cup of coffee.

"Thanks." He mumbled taking a couple large gulps before turning back to his brother. "Any news?"

Letting out a tired sign, Lucas shook his head no. "Not really. They did say they're about to do the Apnea test, so we should know one way or the other pretty soon."

Nathan focused on the dark brown liquid in his white Styrofoam cup, trying to keep his emotions in check.

Haley's heart had stopped on the way to the hospital and they had managed to revive her, but as of now she was being kept alive by a ventilator. The outlook hadn't been good from the start, according to her doctors. No one really knew how long she'd been in the water and that coupled with the fact she'd lost over a liter of blood, created a dim outlook for her ever come back to them.

The test they were about to run would determine whether or not she was brain dead and if she didn't pass, that was it. Because even if there was the tiniest sign of brain activity, keeping her on artificial life support for much longer would surely destroy it.

It was painfully fitting that Apnea literally meant lack of breath because it would be the deciding factor if Haley would ever take a breath on this earth again.

Hearing a noise, Nathan saw Chase approaching them, eyes bloodshot from obvious shed tears and grief written all over his face. Nathan had never liked Chase, couldn't stand his holier than thou attitude, the way he paraded Haley around and acted as if he actually knew her. He didn't know her at all, none of them did, not even Lucas.

It sickened him how they all they cried and mourned for a life that wasn't even a reality. The mask Haley wore around them was a creation of their own expectations, their own selfish needs. She was everything they needed her to be and never who she was meant to be.

They were the reason she was fighting for her life and it took every ounce of his will not to shove that truth down their throats. .

"I'll be back." Nathan stood, not directing his comment to anyone in particular and walked through the double doors of the waiting room.

From the other side, he spotted the much more daunting metal doors that led to the ICU where Haley lay.

No one had gotten to see her, the staff claiming only next of kin had rights_. 'What about Haley's rights?' _

Her parents hadn't even made it back to North Carolina and her grandmother was too sick to travel. She was fighting for her life and all alone.

"Can I help you sir?" A polite nurse in her mid forties, with a warm smile, greeted him, a chart in her hands.

"Um yeah, is there any change in Haley James?"

The nurse looked up into his hopeful eyes. "Funny you should mention her." She motioned toward the chart as she flipped it open, her eyes scanning the medical jargon. "I'm sorry there's no change. Are you a relative?"

Nathan froze. He hadn't seen this particular nurse before, so maybe he could get away with it. "I'm her brother. Can I see her?"

"Of course, but only for a minute." She went to a keypad and entered her code, setting into effect the opening of the doors. "Go down the hall, press the red button to get through to the next entryway, take a right and you'll find your sister in the first bed."

Managing a small smile, Nathan thanked her.

Following the nurse's directions Nathan reached a dimly lit wing of the hospital, where a few staff passed by him, either to busy to notice him or too numb to care.

Hospital beds were lined up as far as the eye could see, with only thin pale green curtains to separate them and fluorescent lights hummed above him, in a ghostly unison with the beeping of monitors. It looked and felt like purgatory.

Looking to his far left he saw the end of what he was told to be Haley's bed sticking out from the veil of the curtain.

Cautiously, he walked the few remaining steps to her bedside, his heart ripping in two when his eyes fell to her frail tiny frame.

Her skin was so pale it was blue, her large expressive eyes were sunken in, a four inch line of black stitches ran across her right temple, her beautiful tiny hands were marked with abrasions and she was still exquisite; even death himself couldn't rob her of her beauty.

With a shaky breathe, he took her right hand gently in his, careful not to add to her pain as his other hand reached up to softly sweep a few strands of her hair away from her angelic face, his fingers brushing across her unmarred cheek. "You promised me you'd never leave me, that if I needed you, you'd always be there. Well, I'm holding you to that Baby…ok? I need to tell you so many things and I need answers only you can give me."

He looked at her heart monitor, noticing it was barely maintaining a stable rhythm, then found her face again. "I'm so sorry for everything Hales, just please don't leave me. All you have to do is breathe…only breathe and then you can rest as long as you need, Baby, I promise." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly, a lone tear sliding down his cheek.

"Come back to me." He whispered; leaning down to place a firm kiss on her forehead, his lips quivering from pent up emotion.

Standing back up, he cleared his throat as a hand tapped his shoulder. Turning he found the kind nurse.

"The doctors need to see her now. Why don't you go back with your friends? I'll be sure to let you know if there are any changes with your, '_sister,' "_She emphasized the last word, clearly on to his con, but understanding the reasons behind it.

He nodded mutely, following her out, however, not before casting one last look at the girl who was his whole world and didn't even know it. "I love you."

* * *

Cath 


	3. Paper Doll

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry for the huge delay in all my stories guys. Life and computer problems got in the way, not to mention me obsessing and rewriting this one chapter a million times. LOL

Anyway, this chapter is super long though, so I really it makes up for the wait a little. And again, thank you so much for your support with this story. You're reviews truly drive me.

Now, you're going to have even more questions after reading this chapter, but I promise in time they will all be answered, including how Haley ended up in the water. With that said, this chapter is a high 4, so proceed with caution.

I want to thank Christina for beta-ing and just always being all around amazing. hugs

This is dedicated to Sara, who I so have to catch up with and catch up on her incredible story as well. I've missed you girl!

**"Paper Doll"**

Only daughter  
You got your ticket too soon  
Holy water  
'Cause everybody's getting ruined  
They are waiting to see what you do  
Too long, waiting

Everybody's cleared the room  
And they'll dress you up  
Stand you in all the right places  
Words like honey  
They smile as they change your faces  
With no regard to you at all  
And you find they treat you like a paper doll

Oh, the bridge is narrow  
And you've got so far to fall  
And you know down in dirty water's  
No place for a paper doll

_**Rachael Yamagata**_

_**July 4**__**th,**__** 2005**_

"All right Scott, I had to charm three drooling assholes to get my shit out of my car and into my apartment. Where the hell where you?" Peyton Sawyer demanded, frustrated, as she plopped down in a leather recliner in the main living area of the basketball house.

Nathan kept his eyes on his Xbox 360 game. "Sorry, I guess I lost track of time." He simply replied.

She rolled her eyes. "You lost track of time? That's all I get? And since when do you get to wear the bitch crown? For the past month you have flaked out on me, screamed at me more times than I can count, and been a fucking zombie. What's going on?"

"Nothing is going on."

"Nathan, I never take your shit, especially your bullshit, so what the hell is up? Is this about Jake?"

As usual, she managed to say the wrong thing and the wireless remote in Nathan's hand flew across the room, hitting the wood floor with a loud crack. "Fuck off Peyton." He stood to leave.

Jumping up, Peyton grabbed his arm, forcing him to face her. "Don't do this. This is a hard time of year for me too."

Sighing he mumbled out a quick sorry. "Training has just been hitting me hard lately." He explained and it was partly the truth. His body had never been through so much punishment than it had in the last few weeks.

Realizing that was as close as she was going to get to answer she let go of his arm and switched subjects. "When are you heading back to Tree Hill?"

"I'm not." Nathan said simply, sitting back down on the couch, not objecting when she sat beside him.

"It's the 4th of July, Nathan, a.k.a. your parents annual ginormous summer bash."

Shrugging indifferently, Nathan crossed his arms at his chest. "So."

"So…your mother and father will string you up if your ass isn't there."

Unfortunately, she was right. This party had been held every year since he could remember. It was a chance for his mother and father to show off their legacies and flaunt their wealth and if part of their legacy were missing it would not be pretty.

"I guess you're right." He conceded. "You wanna come? I could use an ally."

She stood and ruffled his hair, earning her a scowl. "You know I love ya like a brother, but I'd rather sell my soul to the devil than spend two seconds with your parents."

"Bitch."

"Yeah, yeah. Call me when you get back, and you can show me some of the local haunts."

Walking her to the door, Nathan said goodbye and went to grab his keys. If he didn't leave now, he never would.

…

"How do I look?" Brooke spun around in her tiny bright red bikini, complete with a sheer white sleeveless tunic as a cover up, which didn't really live up to it's purpose.

"Like a slut, but a hot one." Haley grinned as she finished putting on her own bikini, an azure colored halter style top, kept in place by a gold tone clasp in the center front with low rise bottoms to match.

They were getting ready at Brooke's parent's beach house for The Scott's annual 4th of July bash. This had been their routine for the past eight years. They always lay out during the day while the boys are busy helping set up for the party. Then around five they head down the party and reunite with their guys for a dip in the ocean and a night of hanging out by a bonfire waiting for the sky to explode with a multitude of vibrant colors.

Pulling her hair into a high ponytail, Brooke decided to let her best friend in on a secret. "Guess what Hales? Tonight's the night."

"Huh?" Haley faced her confused as she secured her short black silk pareo low on her hips. "The night Brooke Penelope Davis finally gives it up. Can you believe I actually made it to sixteen?" 

Laughing Haley slipped on some simple black flip-flops. "You're still fifteen Brooke."

"Oh please, I'll be sixteen in two days. Besides, not all of us plan on wearing our chastity belt till our wedding day."

Haley froze, as the image of Nathan tearing through her and bringing her more pain and pleasure than she ever fathomed sucked the breath right out of her, just like it had every morning when she woke up and realized it was her reality.

The ironic thing was, though, that she'd gotten over the act itself, gotten over that she'd betrayed Chase in the worst possible way, but what she hadn't gotten over was wanting to do it again and again and again.

Brooke rushed to her side, feeling her suddenly pale friend's forehead. "Shit Haley, what's wrong? Are you sick or something?"

Blinking a few times, in an attempt to come out of her daze, Haley managed a smile. "I'm fine. Let's head over to the party before Lucas starts to whining."

"Whatever, after tonight that boy won't even remember his name." Brooke winked, looping her arm through Haley's and leading them out the door.

…

Coming up from the water, Lucas spotted Haley and Brooke laying out their towels on the sand and made his way out of the waves towards them.

"Broody, if you get my hair wet I will kill you." Brooke threatened pulling her tunic over her head and tossing it on a nearby lounge chair, Haley following suit.

"Of course not honey." Lucas smiled sweetly, while giving a conspirator nod to Haley.

"Good." Brooke replied bending over to find her sunscreen in her oversized hot pink tote, letting out a scream of surprise when her boyfriend yanked her over his shoulder and took off towards the water.

After being dunked against her will, Brooke popped back up turning shell shocked eyes on her best friend who was currently laughing her dry ass off mere feet away from the water's edge. "What the hell happened to hoes over bros, Hales?"

Before she could respond. Haley was literally swept off her feet into Chase's arms and flung into the ocean as Brooke's laughter cut through the air.

Coming to the surface, Haley wiped the excess water from her face and spotted Chase wading, with a shit-eating grin, to the left of her.

Swimming over to him, she was pulled into his arms as soon as she was within reach.

"You hate me?" He asked with a pout while enjoying the view of her slowly licking the salt off her lips.

"Nah, I'm not as high maintenance as Brooke." She giggled knowing Brooke heard her when she felt a splash come from behind.

Catching his girlfriend's eyes, Chase smiled, "I've missed you Hales."

"I saw you this morning." She laughed, relaxing a bit in his embrace. After her night with Nathan, she'd barely been able to look Chase in the eye, but for the last week or so it had gotten a bit better. She'd even agreed without hesitation to attend the party. Of course, it helped that Lucas had mentioned in passing that he didn't think Nathan would show.

He tenderly pecked her lips. "That seems like a lifetime."

She kissed him back—deeply—pushing away all her thoughts of Nathan Scott. This was her sense of normal; this is where she belonged, even if it was slowly eating away at her soul.

…

After making a quick stop, in his designated bedroom of the beach house, to change into pair of cobalt blue swimming trunks, Nathan walked out onto the back deck, raising a glass full of his father's finest Scotch to a group of older sluts already ogling his muscular bare chest.

'_Not a chance in hell bitches.' _He mumbled through a fake smile, not aware his mother was coming up from the side until it was too late.

"Nathan, darling," Deb cooed, with open arms, as she approached her adopted son.

Cringing, Nathan let her hug him, taking note of the slight sway in her steps. Anytime his mother wasn't out of town she was knocking back the bottle. He didn't blame her though. Having to be within ten feet of Dan Scott would drive anyone to drink.

Pulling back Deb kept her hands on his shoulders. "Let me look at you. Do you know it's been two months since you've been home? I'm starting to think I didn't raise you right."

"Funny. Now let's figuring out how much of my childhood you missed out on?"

She cut her eyes to either side of her, then glared at him. "Nathan this is not the time nor the place."

He chuckled, amused by her sudden worry over her reputation. "Don't worry Mom. No matter what, in this town, you'll always be the martyr, and I'll always be the bastard you had to raise. So sit back and enjoy it."

Turning his back on her, he headed down to the beach, hoping to catch the last few rays of the dwindling sun.

It was when he finally settled onto a large white lounge chair, a little ways away from the house, that he spotted the girl that had been haunting his dreams for the last month, both conscious and subconscious, in all her fuckable glory.

Her arms were wrapped around another guy, but it did nothing to deter his want for her. She could be walking down the aisle, about to say 'I Do' and he'd still want throw her up against a random pew.

Usually, once he got a taste, that was it. With Haley, though, he only wanted more.

Since their night together, he'd tried to get her out of his head, tried to remind himself of the damage he would without a doubt cause in her life, not to mention his brother's, however seeing her now none of that seemed to matter.

He needed a distraction and as if on cue Damien and Tim came up from behind him carrying a large red ice chest between them, which was undoubtedly filled with beer for the guys and wine coolers for any chicks that showed up.

Nathan took the last sip of his drink then turned back to them. "Toss me one." He motioned towards the ice chest.

Damien grabbed a bottle of bud light and threw it to him. "You know, you call me and Tim on your way back to TH, tell us to get our ass's in high gear and over to your parent's beach house and all we get is 'toss me one.' I'm starting to feel used man."

Chuckling, Nathan popped the top of his beer. All in all he'd actually grown to like Damien over the past few weeks. Now that they were on the same team their bitter rivalry had vanished in favor of a common goal—bringing back the championship title to Duke.

"What the hell else where you two going to do besides stare at your life sized cut outs of Jessica Alba. At least here you actually have a chance to stare at some real ass."

Tim gazed out at the water, spotting Haley and Brooke engaged in a game of chicken and looking oh so hot. "Damn straight and stare I will."

Letting out a long satisfactory whistle Damien agreed. "Fuck yes, I'm so tapping some of that tonight."

"No you're not." Nathan warned, not comfortable at all with the prospect. "The brunette is my brother's girl and the blonde…"

"Has a boyfriend." Tim finished for his friend.

"That pussy looking dude? I'll give him a run for his money. " Damien boasted as he continued to enjoy the view of the two hot girls grabbing at each other. What he wouldn't give for one of them to accidentally yank the other's top down. Where the hell was the girls' gone wild crew when you needed them?

Nathan pulled his sunglasses up to glare hard at Damien. "Stay the fuck away from her West, got it?"

"Geez, got it, but y'all sure as hell know how to grow them in Tree Hill."

Smiling at that, Nathan bumped fists with him. "You better believe it."

…

"Damn it" Lucas blew out after Haley sent Brooke tumbling off his shoulders. "How can you be so tiny and be so damn feisty?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Haley quipped, as she slid off Chase's shoulders and dipped her head back to rewet her hair.

Brooke shivered. "It's getting cold guys."

She was right, the sun had already begun to set, taking away any warmth it had been providing for them with it.

Facing the shore first, Lucas squinted his eyes to focus on three familiar looking figures setting up a fire in a pit about a hundred yards from the beach house. It had to be his brother and his friends, because in the past Lucas and Nathan always made it a point to distant themselves from the adults as the party shifted from day to night.

"Hell yes! Nathan is here, and I see an ice chest." Brooke exclaimed pointing in the direction Lucas was already focused on.

Haley jerked around only to have her worst fears confirmed. She must have done something really bad in a former life.

"Hales, you coming?" Chase's voice called out to her while he swim away from the underwater sand dune they'd been occupying.

Nodding, she followed him out of the water, making sure to take her time, as if waiting a second longer would solve all her problems. Before she could even try to avoid eye contact with Nathan, though, a random guy moved to block her path.

He gave her a dazzling smile and stuck his hand out. "Damien West."

Grabbing a towel from Brooke, Haley began drying her hair, but still took a second to shake his hand. "Haley James."

She smiled kindly, figuring he was another Duke player, given his height and athletic figure. He wasn't bad on the eyes either, with his sandy blonde hair and cat green eyes. No doubt, he was a player on and off the court and enjoyed every minute of it. It was only fitting he was one of Nathan's boys.

"So Miss Haley James, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I introduce myself again?"

She had to admit he was amusing. "Actually, yes. Just ask my boyfriend."

Damien tilted his head towards Chase, who was in the process of poking the fire with a large stick and obviously not paying attention to her. "Is that him? Because gorgeous, one night with me and you won't even remember his name."

Haley laughed at his boldness, but her laughter quickly died down when she felt Nathan's eyes burning holes in her back, sending shivers down her spine. "Um, yeah that is, and I better get back to him."

Turning her back on Damien, she found Nathan's eyes had left her and focused on some blonde bimbo bouncing by in a tiny sports bra and tight jogging shorts. '_Ass_.'

Draping a dry towel over her shoulders, Haley walked over to where Chase was sitting, leaned down, grabbed his face and gave him a smoldering kiss for all to see.

After a good twenty seconds, she pulled away and sat down beside him, trying with all her might not to cut her eyes to Nathan.

"Damn gorgeous, just break my heart why don't ya." Damien proclaimed pulling a bottle of everclear out of the cooler and taking a couple shot glasses out of his pocket. It was time to really start drinking.

An hour later, everyone was well on their way to drunk, except for Haley who had yet to touch a drop per usual in her friends' presence.

"Halessssssssss." Brooke grinned broadly at a melancholy looking Haley that was focused on the crashing waves before them.

"Yes Brooke?"

"Before I get so wasted that I can't form sentences. What time does the bus leave for cheer camp tomorrow?"

Nathan glanced over at that, watching a flash of absolute boredom cross Haley's features at the reminder.

"We're meeting at the school parking lot at five, but I think I might just drive up later that night. Remember I signed up to help tutor some kids and Principal Turner is giving me a trial shot tomorrow afternoon with a couple kids taking summer school."

A frown immediately came across, Brooke's usual cheery face. "Hales, you can't miss the bus ride up there. We're co-captains and we have to go over all the routines on the way so we can practice as soon as we check in, you know that."

"You're right." Haley apologized, not wanting to let Brooke down. "It's just I don't know when Turner will give me another shot."

Chase cuddled up to her. "Aw, babe, you don't have time for it anyway. Cheerleading is all year round and then there's us." He huskily reminded her, giving her a few kisses on her neck.

For a brief second, Nathan felt sorry for Haley, even identifying with her to a degree, but his indifference with the world stomped it quickly out, as did watching she and Chase begin to make out.

"Woah, Hales, is someone else thinking of giving it up tonight?" Brooke teased; taking an opened strawberry flavored wine cooler from Tim.

Damien's eyes lit up. "Shit, you're a virgin? Marry me?"

Even Chase had to laugh at that. Of course, he never got jealous anyway. After all, Haley was perfect and perfect girls never cheat.

Haley gave Brooke an annoyed look. "Do we really have to bring up my sex life in front of everyone?"

"Sorry love." Brooke blew her a kiss. "You know I have no control over what comes out of my fabulous pouty lips."

Nathan threw a beer bottle cap at Chase, garnering his attention. "So, you've been dating little Haley James for eight years and haven't hit that? Damn, we need to start calling you 'blue balls' Adams."

True to form, Chase remained a gentleman. "Dude, we're not about that and it's our business."

Snuggling into his side, Haley kissed his cheek then focused on Nathan. "And that's why you'll be married five times and Chase and I will live happily ever after."

Chase returned the favor, kissing her cheek.

Nathan chuckled at her half ass attempt in trying to make him jealous. He was sure it took all her strength not to choke on her own words.

"I don't ever see Nathan marrying." Brooke threw her two cents in. "In fact, I see him only having baby mommas in the form of pathetic groupies he banged on the road."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Nathan raised his beer bottle up to her in mock salute.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, shove it Scott. Like you ever give a shit about any girl you see."

Damien joined in on the debate as he sat back down on the other side of Haley. "I have to agree with dimples. You're the only guy on campus that could rival my pimpness."

Nathan grinned. "Fuck it, why am I arguing? I'd rather fuck a new girl every night, then be pussy whipped." He eyed Chase and Luke. "No offense." He smirked, then finished off his beer and tossed it effortlessly into a trashcan twenty feet away.

Lucas took a drink of his own beer, while holding back Brooke with one arm. "Listen, let's stop this debate before the girls go ape shit."

Nathan wasn't backing down; especially with seeing how uncomfortable Haley looked. "What? It's pathetic. You guys have been together since grade school and never do a damn thing without the other. Seems boring as hell to me." He leaned over and grabbed another beer from the cooler.

"Yeah, but you also get ass anytime you want." Tim grinned, happy with his comment.

"Not if you're with Haley." Nathan set his amused eyes on her. "Do you at least give Adams, here, decent blow jobs? You do have some big lips, I bet…"

Lucas reached over and clamped his hand over his brother's mouth. "Shut up."

Haley could feel herself about to lose it. Being in the same place with the one guy that could destroy her world with a single confession was too much to bear. At first, she didn't think he'd even give her a second glance, but now it was obvious he was zeroing in on her and enjoying the hell out of taunting her.

And unfortunately being in Chase's arms was doing nothing to comfort her, nor was the fact that he just sat there and didn't do a damn thing to defend her. His default passive approach was starting to wear thin.

"I'm not feeling too good. I think I'm going to head back." She rushed out, as she hopped to her feet, letting her towel drop to the ground.

Chase grabbed her hand from his sitting position. "I'll come with you."

She forced a reassuring smile his way. "No, stay and watch the fireworks. It's just one of my migraines coming on. Come visit me later, though."

"You got it." He kissed her hand, too drunk to really argue with her, then let her go.

Once everyone watched her practically bolt away they cut their eyes to Nathan, clearly not pleased in the least with him. Even Damien and Tim had turned on him.

"I'll go apologize." He sighed, annoyed at having to play the good guy, but from the look on Lucas's face he knew he'd crossed the line, and he didn't need his brother on his ass twenty four seven until he made nice.

He stood and took his keys out of his pocket to which Lucas quickly snatched them away. "No way in hell you're drinking and driving with half the town's justice system partying in our house. It's only a little over a mile down the shore to Brooke's. You can walk."

Rolling his eyes he began the slow walk down the beach. Twenty minutes later he'd reached the long daunting pier that led from the Davis' land and stretched out at least a thirty yards out into the ocean.

When he got a bit closer he spotted Haley sitting at the very edge, her feet dangling off the side, still in her bikini.

She heard the creaking of the boards behind her, but didn't turn. Somehow she already knew who it was.

"Not thinking of jumping are you?" He asked lightly as he sat down beside her, leaving only a few inches between them.

"You'd probably enjoy that wouldn't you?"

He shrugged. "I have had a few sluts threaten to slit their wrists after I got all I needed out of them, so just checking."

She laughed and shook her head in disbelief. "God, you're so damn full of yourself."

"Didn't stop you from jumping on my dick, did it?"

"Do you have to be so crude?"

Smirking, he let that comment slide and the pair fell into an oddly comfortable silence.

A few minutes later, Nathan spoke again. "So, you really didn't tell anyone, not even Brooke?"

"I told you before it's not something I'm proud of. You're the one that seems to want to tell the world."

"Honestly, getting under your skin just helped me pass the time tonight and that's all there is to it. I won't knock you off your pedestal, James."

She turned slightly to face him. "Don't you ever get tired of being an ass?"

Twisting around he met her vibrant eyes that were deep, he was pretty sure he could spend a lifetime staring in them and never reach the other side. "Don't you ever get tired of living a lie?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Still staring in her eyes, he clearly saw the anger she wanted him to see, but he also saw the fear; saw that she was terrified he could actually see through her façade.

"Nevermind, it doesn't matter." He chuckled and got to his feet.

She hopped to her own feet, however grace was not her middle name and as if in slow motion she began to stumble backwards, her heels digging into the edge of the pier as she felt herself falling over.

Her eyes shut tightly as she prepared for the thirty-foot drop into the sea—but it never came. And when she opened her eyes again, she found herself in Nathan's strong arms and realized his quick reflexes had saved her. The strange thing was though, that she was still terrified. In her mind, being this close to Nathan was just as dangerous as the crashing waves below.

"Careful there, you don't need another halo."

Stepping out of embrace, she winced when she put pressure on her left foot.

Noticing her discomfort, he groaned. "Jesus, this night and shining armor shit is getting old." He mumbled and surprised her by sweeping her into his arms and unlike with Chase, she felt a strange exhilaration at the act. Still, she despised that he was helping her.

"I don't like it any more than you do. Just drop me at the house and then you can go find your whore for the night."

He stayed quiet, choosing to focus on not dropping her in his semi-drunken state.

Once inside, he sat her down on the granite kitchen counter and gently took her tiny foot into his hands noticing a nice size abrasion on her heel. It wasn't bleeding, but looked painfully raw.

"I told you to leave." She snit, biting her bottom lip when his fingers brushed the marred area of her heel.

Ignoring her, he let go of her foot and made his way into the other room to the large wet bar he'd passed when he carried her in.

Returning a few moments later, he carried a bottle of gin in his hand. Grabbing a paper towel, he opened the bottle and poured some of the liquor onto it.

Watching him quietly, as he cradled her foot again and dabbed her wound, she was amazed at her careful he was being with her. Careful or gentle were never two words anyone would use to describe Nathan Scott, so to see a glimpse of those qualities in him was pretty damn astonishing.

"I didn't see any band aids in the bathroom down the hall. Are there any downstairs?" He questioned, as he dampened the paper towel with a bit more liquor and repeated his earlier ministrations.

"Are you kidding me? If it isn't in a design magazine or at least ninety proof, Claudia Davis won't allow it on her property."

Nodding in understanding, he tossed the paper towel in the nearby stainless kitchen sink and lifted her foot a bit higher up and softly blew on her abrasion, hoping to dry the alcohol in it's place to prevent any infection.

Haley shivered when his breath hit her skin and within seconds, her hate for him was replaced with uncontrollable need. The same need that had overpowered her a month before. _'How could you hate someone one moment and want to rip their clothes off the next?'_

Bringing her hand up to her cleavage, she found the gold clasp just below it and with a flick of her wrist the sides of her top fell apart, exposing her full breasts with her rosy nipples on fill alert.

She knew she was acting like a whore, the ones she always looked down upon in school, but it was the only way she felt she could escape her other life. It was self destruction at it's worst, but still she honestly didn't see why anyone would find it more damaging than her turning to drugs and alcohol like most teenagers do to escape their demons. At least she could have sex and still drive. Walking may be another story, but driving she could do and in her head that was reason enough to repeat this mind blowing mistake.

Of course just like all vices, you always have to pay a price. All she could do was hope that her debt wouldn't be called in anytime soon

Satisfied that he'd done all he could, he softly released her foot before standing back upright and getting one hell of a shock and subsequent hard on.

"Damn." He half stated, half growled.

She smiled seductively and spread her legs, clearly inviting him in.

God she wanted him.

Just like before, a part of him knew this was a mistake, knew that this would most likely destroy his relationship with his brother if it ever got out, but he also knew he couldn't walk away.

Gazing at her displayed before him with her hair cascading in loose curls down her creamy shoulders, nothing else in the world seemed to matter and this time he wasn't praying for a distraction.

Closing the distance between them, he took her face in his hands and pulled her into an earth shattering kiss that was so powerful and dominating, Haley felt as if he was capturing her very soul and ironically in a way he was. With each kiss, each touch, he was chipping away at everything she was taught to believe and everything she was _supposed_ to desire.

Moving his lips to her neck, his hands fell to her heaving breasts and grabbed each mound hard, squeezing and twisting her nipples until she was bucking against him and clawing at his back as her uncontrollable moans filled the air around them.

God he wanted her.

Sliding her hands in between them, she made fast work of untying his trunks and as soon as he was free, she gripped her right hand tightly around him, eliciting a primal groan from his lips, that filled her with a sense of power she never knew existed before him. It was intoxicating and she was pretty damn sure it always would be.

Feeling his fingers slip inside her bikini bottoms, she cried out at the exquisite jolt that sparked deep within her belly. She was so close and they both knew it.

In her haze she barely noticed him retrieve condom from the one pocket in his bathing suit and slip it on himself. Apparently guys like Nathan Scott were always prepared; not that she was complaining at the moment.

Aching to be inside her and push her over the edge, he shoved himself forward, slamming into her and just like he predicted she shuddered in his arms and cried out his name.

Breathless, Haley opened her eyes and found his cobalt orbs staring back. "I hate you."

"I know." He promised, then kissed her deeply, as he began to move in and out of her, thrusting hard and fast, as if her words hadn't phased him at all.

Her hands dug into his scalp as he claimed her as his once more, slamming her back repeatedly into the decorative tiles behind her. But just like this last time, the pleasure took away any power the pain held as she rode wave after wave of ecstasy.

Feeling her muscles contract around him and her body shiver as her second orgasm spread throughout her tiny body, he let go. And with a just few more thrusts she had milked him gloriously dry.

When she felt him withdraw from her, an uncontrollable ache overtook her at the loss of him. Maybe just one more round and he'd be out of her system.

Running a finger down his bare chest, she smiled shyly, still showing signs of her innocence even after what they had just done. "You know I think we could both use a shower."

Reaching out, he brushed the back of his hand across both her still erect nipples. _'Damn, they we're fucking perfect.'_

"Don't be such a cockhound James, it doesn't suit you." He smirked, taking off the condom and tossing it haphazardly on the counter beside her before securing his member back in its confines.

Her mouth fell open in shock, as if she'd been slapped in the face. Feeling like a whore had felt incredible in the moment, but once it passed, she felt even more worthless and alone than before.

He knew his words hurt her, yet he didn't make a move to retract them. After all, he was a bastard in every sense of the word and no one; not even the girl he couldn't get off his mind, was going to change that.

So he walked away, without even a second glance. All the while burying the unfamiliar urge deep in his heart to run straight back.

_**Present Day**_

"This feels so wrong." Brooke whispered a few tears streaking down her porcelain cheeks, cheeks that hadn't been dry for more than thirty seconds since Haley's accident one week before.

Holding up a picture of Haley and him in mid scream as they propelled down a roller coaster, Lucas offered Brooke a sad nod. It was wrong, being surrounded by Haley's things, her possessions, and knowing she wouldn't walk into the room any minute with a smile that warmed his heart like no other was something he didn't think he'd ever come to grips with.

Dabbing at her eyes with a tissue off Haley's computer desk, Brooke went to take the frame from Lucas. "I'll get these, why don't you work on some of her books and music. She and I never did see eye to eye on that stuff. Remember all those fights you had to referee…" Her voice trailed off. If she finished her thought, she'd break down in sobs again.

"Yeah, ok." Lucas agreed walking to Haley's cherry wood bookshelf, his hand immediately finding the book he'd given her for her sixteenth birthday. He'd definitely have to read a few passages to her later.

Flipping through the worn pages, a smile came to his face as he remembered every detail of the moment he gave it to her. Reaching the last page, he made a shocking discovery—a key—held in place by a single piece of clear tape.

Confused and curious Lucas quietly removed the key from under the tape and slipped it into his front pocket of his tan colored army jacket, a staple of his current wardrobe along with his recent affection for plaid shirts.

"Lucas?"

Turning around he saw his girlfriend holding a single loose photograph. "What's wrong?"

She handed him the photograph. "I found it behind a photo of Haley and me on her vanity mirror."

Looking at the photo Lucas immediately recognized the curly blonde wrapped in a friendly embrace with Haley, at what looked like a concert, as Peyton Sawyer.

Peyton Sawyer was one of his brother's best friends. While Brooke, Haley and Chase had always surrounded Lucas; Nathan had been by Peyton, Jake, and Tim.

Jake had truly been Nathan's best friend since birth. Peyton had come along around fifth grade and while Nathan and Tim were hesitant of letting a girl into their inner circle, they couldn't really object when Jake fell head over heels for her.

The end of their sophomore year, however, every thing changed. Jake had been suffering from chronic headaches since junior high and after collapsing at the playoffs, an inoperable tumor pressing against his brain stem was discovered. They gave him three to six months to live. He died four months later at Tree Hill Hospital with Peyton, Nathan, and his parents by his side.

Nathan and Peyton were never the same. Watching someone they loved die bonded them, but it was a bond that was laced with darkness. Both retreated into their own bitter lonely worlds; Peyton in her art and Nathan in his mindless partying and basketball.

In addition, even Lucas's relationship with Nathan shifted. He used to always be able to break through Nathan's walls, see beneath his hard exterior, but Jake's death changed all that. They still hung out and did all the things brothers do, but there was always something missing, something Lucas wasn't sure if they'd ever get back.

"Why would Haley have a picture of her with Peyton? Have they even spoken more than two words to each other?" Brooke broke through Lucas' thoughts.

"I have no clue." Lucas answered truthfully. Sure Haley knew Peyton in passing and they maybe had even talked a bit when they crossed paths at the Scott house before Jake was diagnosed, but afterwards Peyton never came to the house and she was two years older so they definitely didn't associate at school. Hell, he was pretty damn sure once Peyton went to Duke she barely came back to Tree Hill, so it's not like they would have ran into each other.

His head was really starting to spin.

…

Hearing a noise, Nathan looked up to find Peyton slowly making her way towards him, fear radiating off her usual detached features.

Noticing Chase's confused stare across from him, Nathan stood and met Peyton half way. "Come on, I'll take you to see her." He whispered low enough for Chase not to hear, then lead Peyton around the corner to take the long way to Haley's room.

When they reached the door to Haley's private room, Peyton halted and began to back away. "I can't."

Nathan didn't need an explanation. He was shocked as hell Peyton had actually shown. After losing her mother at the age of eight, then losing the boy she'd loved at sixteen, Peyton had swore to never set foot in a hospital again and he didn't blame her.

His track record hadn't been much better. His own mother had died in this very hospital and he'd witnessed Jake disintegrate, right along with her, until there was nothing left but a soulless body.

Time would never heal those wounds.

"How did you do it?" Peyton quietly asked, wanting to know the secret to Nathan's courage.

Nathan faced the small window in the door to Haley's suite, which her parents had insisted on, the same parents that had left after only four days. Apparently, Haley passing the apnea test was a good enough reason for them to return to their other responsibilities. Never mind that their daughter was in a coma and may never come out.

"I love her, I won't leave her." He answered softly, his voice thick with emotion. "Never."

Going to stand beside him, Peyton placed a hand on his shoulder. "Is anyone asking questions?"

He released a heavy sigh. "Brooke and Chase have been giving me a few odd looks here and there, but no one's said anything. They probably think I'm here to support Lucas."

"All that matters is Haley knows why you're here."

Turning his head towards her, he found sincerity in her eyes, but it did nothing to alleviate his guilt. "I said so many things I wish I could take back, so many things I didn't mean. What if…"

"Don't say that." She quickly stopped him. "She's going to come back to us…she has to."

Peyton couldn't lose another person she loved and neither could Nathan. Without Haley, he would have no life, no heart. And while their relationship wasn't simple by any means, Peyton knew they were the real deal and that gave her cynical heart a reason to believe this world wasn't as doomed as she once thought.

Putting her hand on the door handle, Peyton took a deep breath.

Nathan moved out of her way. "You need to do this alone. I'll get us some coffee."

"Thanks." She smiled weakly before entering Haley's room, the familiar sound of a heart monitor sounding around her, bringing the memories of losing Jake even further to the surface. She had to do this, though, for Haley.

Taking the few steps to Haley's bedside Peyton observed her fragile yet angelic appearance, wanting so bad for Haley to open her eyes and demand she be released from this depressing place.

Glancing around, Peyton took notice of the enormous amount of roses in the room. _'Didn't they know Haley hated roses?' _

Then there was the massive collage on the wall in front of her. Pictures of Haley and Brooke Davis shaking their pom poms, Haley and Chase locked in each other's arms and last but not least Duke medical memorabilia stuck in between. All of which she figured were supposed to aid in the efforts in getting Haley to come back to her life.

The ironic thing was, all this was probably driving Haley further away, keeping Haley on the bottom of that ocean floor. Why would she want to come back to a life that was suffocating her, to a life that she was living for everyone else?

She wouldn't and that terrified Peyton.

"How's it going fellow music junkie?" Peyton took Haley's right hand in hers. "You're right, stupid question. When you wake up you can slap me for it." She joked, receiving only silence in return.

"Listen, you are probably the only one besides Nathan that knows my darkest secrets and vice versa. So, I know you didn't go into that water willingly. You'd never do that to us. Just don't give up though. You can beat this, I know you can. Don't use it as an excuse. Don't use it as a sign you're time is up, because it's not. If anything it's a sign that life is too short and you need to go after what you want. You're entire life, the life you're meant to live is waiting for you." She paused when Haley's autonomic IV switched on.

"And the biggest part of that life is with Nathan. He can't live without you Hales. For the last two months he's barely existed and he hasn't left the hospital since the accident. I don't even think he's had a decent shower or shave and you know the boy is usually anal about his appearance, so that should tell you a lot." She cracked a smile knowing Haley would too if she could.

"But in all seriousness, he's a wreck Haley. He's carrying around so much guilt and so much love that he's about to lose it. He won't even expose y'alls relationship and earn his rightful place by your bedside because he doesn't think he deserves it…and no one else does either. He sits in the shadows while everyone else, who thinks they know you, spends every waking moment urging you back. You know that's not fair Haley. So you have to wake up and make things right for the both of you. Because if you die, he does too."

The door opened behind her and Lucas Scott walked into the room, a mix of confusion and intrigue on his face. "Peyton?"

Giving Haley's hand a final squeeze, Peyton faced Lucas. "I was just leaving."

She went to move past him, but he moved blocking her path. "Wait…why are you here?"

"Um, for Nathan. He wants to be here for you and I just wanted to check up on him." She fought the urge to roll her eyes at her lame attempt at an explanation.

Lucas wasn't convinced in the least. "So, you decided to come into Haley's room uninvited, hold her hand, and from what I saw from the window, have a very intense talk with her just for Nathan?"

"Look, I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I'll be going now."

He locked eyes with her. "Peyton…please."

Maybe this was it—her way to help Haley come back. "Meet me at the Rivercourt in an hour."

Before he could even say thank you she was gone. Leaving him alone with his best friend, a best friend that he feared he didn't know at all.

* * *

Cath 


	4. This Is Only A Test

**Author's Note**: I can't begin to thank you all for you patience and apologize for my absence. My entire hard drive was wiped up, which devastated me, and I had major family drama which of course was priority. But I've got my mojo back and am on a roll again. After this chapter JWTF and OYE are coming up very soon.

This chapter I hope will speak to alot of you who have ever been in long term relationships and will also provide some major foreshadowing and not just in terms of NH, so I really hope you enjoy it.

Thanks to the amazing Christina for beta-ing and giving me her ship stamp of approval. hehe. This is dedicated to Susan. :) I could never thank you enough girl. hug

And I gigantic thank you to my love Sam, for introducing this band to me which gave me my title. Not to mention few more bands that have set me up with the next 5 chapter titles. LOL

Oh and just a warning. Since I deleted the author's note that was previously in the chapter 4 section, if you reviewed that author's not you might not be able to review this chapter on here. If you can't and still want to leave me a review,which I would love, you can review at the Rivercourt or just send me a PM. I always love to read y'all thoughts. :)

One more thing... was giving me trouble and I had to retype the lyrics and first date and in my stupidity I accidently wrote August 6th, 2007, when it was suppose to be August 6th 2005. It is fixed now, but I wanted to let those who have already read it that I made a mistake. I'm so sorry for the confusion.

**Chapter Four "This Is Only A Test"**

_Sometimes they move faster,  
Faster than our eyes can tell the morning  
(can tell the morning)  
Some ways for us to test.  
Each day we say our prayers for you_

_This lie is coming out,  
breaking bonds that hold us  
Throwing stones that hurt us  
You cried, you tried  
To tell us what we want to hear  
Is it something that you fear?_

_After all you said, did you think it through?_

_**Accceptance**_

**_August 6th, 2005_**

"Thank you for flying Continental, I hope you enjoyed your flight and Boston."

Haley smiled, but couldn't muster a kind word back when she had done anything but enjoy her trip. It's funny how running away from one problem usually entails immersing yourself in another. And she had done just that visiting her parents for the last four weeks.

In those twenty eight days, she'd had dinner twice with her father and once with her mother, separately of course. Her parents remained married only to sustain the James Medical dynasty; something she'd accepted many years ago. Surprisingly, her parent's lack of love for one another didn't hurt her, just numbed her in the ways of ever finding love for herself.

She'd like to think she was just as numb in regards to their love for her, but the truth was even at sixteen their indifference still broke her heart. Any normal person would have given up long ago, but she kept studying to the point of exhaustion and doing everything and anything expected out of her hoping one day they'd actually look at her and see a daughter they'd be proud of and maybe just maybe want to spend time with.

What pained her the most, though, was that her need for approval didn't stop with her parents. During her trip, she'd examined her relationships with Chase and her friends, only to come to the understanding that her insecurities had clearly been bleeding out in every single one. And it had gone on for so long that she wasn't sure if they even really knew her at all.

She had been sliding into the mold she thought they needed her to fit in for the last eight years. Doing it so slowly there was no way they could have noticed. To them, she was their Haley, the only Haley they'd known and when she fought against that mindset, it terrified them because she wasn't being _their_ Haley.

Nevertheless, that mold had been her shelter for over eight years and the notion of completely breaking free was as petrifying as it was impossible.

Of course, she hadn't counted on Nathan Scott, though, or the guilt that threatened to swallow her whole every time he crossed her mind, reminding her of how she'd turned her back on everyone that loved her for meaningless yet incredible sex.

And there goes the guilt again, so strong it almost knocked the breath out of her as she made her way through the terminal, trying to mask the panic surely written all over her features.

She tried to convince herself it would never happen again, that Nathan or someone like him wouldn't make her risk what mattered most to her, but she couldn't. She was a self destructive mess and apparently no better than an addict when it came to Nathan Scott.

He was a despicable human being that was nothing short of cruel to her nine times out of ten, but when it was just them, she knew he saw her. Saw the girl everyone else had forgotten or never knew existed.

He touched her as if he knew her inside and out and even when his eyes turned cold, it made her feel more than staring in Chase's ever had.

To her, when she was with Nathan—and only when she was with Nathan—it was better to be hated for who she was than to be loved for who she wasn't.

And that's why she only had one choice—to break up with Chase.

She couldn't bear the guilt or take the chance he'd find out about her dirty little secret. She had to distance herself, at least for a little while. Sure, she had just been gone for four weeks, but with cell phone calls, text messages, emails and even web cams, distance hadn't really been achieved in her book.

She had to get Nathan Scott out of her system and she couldn't do that and be with Chase at the same time.

So, she'd be single and remain that way, concentrating on her studies, and staying away from anything to do with Nathan. Hopefully in time, she could actually wake up in the morning without the urge to do whatever it takes to be with him once more.

Not that he would even want to see her again, though. In fact, that equally terrified her. Seeing him again and having him not even spare her a glance would surely devastate her pathetic teenage heart.

She hated him, that wasn't a lie, but she also craved him more than she ever thought humanely possible.

God, she truly was insane. She had a perfect boyfriend, whose heart she was about to break, and she was lusting after a guy that didn't even know her middle name and would never want to.

Therapy should definitely be added to her to do list. Although, Chase's father ran the only practice in town, so that probably wouldn't work out too well.

Speaking of Chase...

"Haley." Chase grinned broadly opening his arms and engulfing her in a loving hug.

"How was your flight?" He asked once he'd released her and then went about taking her carry on from her.

"Uneventful." She said truthfully while accepting a quick kiss from him.

Clasping her hand, he led them to the luggage carrousel. "Brooke wants us to head straight over to her house. She's already pissed you wouldn't let her come with me to pick you up."

"Yeah…um do you think we could just head back to my place? I thought we could talk."

He eyed her suspiciously for a moment, then bent down and kissed her cheek. "Anything for you."

…

"HOW THE HELL COULD YOU DO THIS?" Chase's voice boomed as he paced back and forth in front of Haley four poster antique bed.

Tears poured down Haley's cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry? You're sorry. Damn it Haley, we're good together, you know that. Where is this coming from?" His anger had been replaced by complete and utter confusion. They loved each other, they'd been together for eight years, how could she suddenly need a break when everything had been exactly the way it always had? Nothing was making sense.

Sniffing, Haley wiped at her cheeks with her palms. "I just think we need a break. To see if this is really what we want."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes." She implored, at least he was the only kind of love she knew.

He started pacing again, his hands periodically running through his hair. "What about Duke? What about our future? I can give you everything Haley." He turned to her, his eyes shining with his own tears as his heart literally ached in pain.

"That's the problem Chase. You're too good for me, you always have been. You deserve someone better…so much better." She cried even harder.

Carefully, he sat down beside her, the bed sinking a bit with his weight. "I love you Haley. You make me so happy, I swear to you."

"Just give me some times Chase…please?"

_Three hours later…_

"Is there someone else?" Chase finally got the nerve to ask as he sat on her floor, his back supported by her dresser. "Not that I would ever think you would cheat, but do you have feelings for someone else?"

"Chase you're missing the whole point. We've been going over this for hours and you keep trying to get answers I can't give you."

Watching her close her eyes while laying across her bed, Chase knew he couldn't let her go. She was his world, she was the girl he was going to marry, and he never doubted that for a second. They had everything in common, they never fought, and most importantly, they took care of each other.

"Haley, I know that seeing your parents is hard on you, but I want you to know I would never treat you the way they do and we'll never be them. I swear to you I will love you forever."

Frustrated and exhausted she didn't object when he laid down beside her and pulled her into his arms, forcing her to face him. "I promise." He whispered, kissing her lips tenderly, tasting the salt from her tears.

"I don't know Chase…I just think…" Her head pounded from all the teas she'd shed.

"Don't think Haley. You hate being alone and with me you'll never have to worry. We're a team just like Lucas and Brooke."

She should have prepared herself for him knowing and using her weakness, but she wasn't and hearing his words, no matter how hard she tried to stand firm, made her feel secure; something she strived for only a daily basis.

So, as she let herself gaze in his loving eyes, all her courage crumbled and she couldn't fight him anymore. If she did, who's to say Brooke and Lucas would side with her and if they didn't she could lose all three and be left with nothing.

She was naïve to ever think she could ever really let go.

She wasn't ready, she could see that now, and she didn't know if she ever would be. Maybe this was her destiny; maybe she was just going through some typical teenage identity crisis and in time, it would pass.

Or maybe she was just fooling herself and the ache for something more would follow her throughout all her days.

Whatever the outcome, it was clear she wasn't going anywhere.

"You're right. I'm sorry." She mumbled hugging him tightly while burying her tear stained cheeks into his plain gray tee.

Inhaling her fresh scent, he smiled. "I knew you couldn't walk away from us."

He was right, she couldn't, but the difference was she didn't see it as a good thing. Clinging to something out of fear was no way to live; yet it was the only way she knew how.

….

Hours later, a little past midnight, she awoke in Chase's arms to the sound of something distinctly hitting or tapping on her window. Slowly, she opened her eyes and tried to adjust them to the darkness.

Once she could see well enough, she slipped away from Chase, careful not to wake him. Tip toeing to her window, she made out a shadowing figure underneath the large oak tree in her front yard. Then out of nowhere, a pebble flew at her smacking the window soundly.

Glancing at a nearby mirror, she realized she was still wearing her white Juicy Capri length sweats and a yellow cotton tank. Definitely, enough clothes to venture outside and possibly be murdered and raped by a mysterious stone thrower.

Sliding on some random chocolate brown flip flops, she made her way downstairs and out the front door.

"Hello?" She whispered out loud to god knows who, while stepping off her large wrap around porch.

He didn't speak, but emerged from the shadows.

She gasped out loud at the sight of Nathan Scott standing before her, but he seemed anything but phased by her reaction.

"You want to go for a ride?" He bluntly asked with his hands stuck in his khaki short pockets and his eyes looking past her.

"A ride? It's the middle of the night, Chase is upstairs and you want me to just go for a ride?"

His features hardened even more if that was possible, yet as always he quickly rebounded to indifference. "Whatever," he shrugged then turned to leave.

Whether it was curiosity or just good old fashioned insanity, when she heard him open his car door, she found herself running to the passenger side of his black Denali and climbing in.

…

He didn't say a word the entire five minute drive, nor did she, not even when they reached their destination and her confusion went into overdrive.

She heard him take a deep breath, then get out of his car. Quickly, she followed his lead and found herself walking a step behind him as they passed through the stone entrance of the Tree Hill Cemetery.

'_Hmm, maybe she was right about the murder thing.' _

Nathan never looked back, letting her footsteps reassure him that she remained close behind. He wasn't sure why he'd driven to her house or why he'd asked her to come. It was as if he was on autopilot; one of those times you put the car in park, look up, and have no idea how you got there or even if you obeyed the traffic laws.

He'd always done this alone, never wanting anyone with him and Haley was no exception. He didn't want her here either, but want and need are two very different things. Ever since their "nights" all he saw where her eyes everywhere, haunting him, teasing him. It was as if they promised the answer to any question and the comfort to any pain he'd ever encounter and that sparked an uncontrollable desire in him to be near her at all times. One that, tonight, he couldn't push away.

Swatting away a mosquito, Haley was relieved when they finally came to a halt in front of a heart shaped granite headstone.

Moving to the side of him, her heart caught in her throat when she scanned the epitaph.

_Karen Roe Scott_

_Grace was in all her steps,_

_Heaven in her eyes,_

_In every gesture dignity and love_

_May 2__nd__, 1969— August 6__th__, 1987_

"It's officially my birthday." He quietly informed her.

Her eyes automatically filled with tears. She couldn't imagine the pain of knowing the day your mother died you came into the world. Plus, she knew this was Nathan's eighteenth and that had to open his wounds even more. Karen had passed mere weeks after her own eighteenth.

"I didn't know your parents had married." She softly spoke with an edge of caution in her voice.

"They didn't. But my father wouldn't have it any other way. To him, she's a Scott and always will be."

For a brief moment, Haley felt for Dan Scott. Experiencing that kind of loss was something no one should ever have to endure, but in a flash it had passed as she remembered what it had turned him in to. He was nothing short of cruel and manipulate towards his children, a demon that would surely stay with them till their last breath.

Lucas never spoke much about him, but she'd witness first hand the pressure and ridicule Dan dished out and that was more than enough to turn her against him.

Reaching out, Haley placed her hand gently on Nathan's back as she moved to stand next to him. "I'm sorry Nathan."

Tensing at her words, he stepped away from her. "You ready?"

Flinching a bit at the annoyance in his tone, she diverted her eyes and followed him back to the car; where they again would ride in silence.

…

Puling into her drive, he wasn't sure what to say. There was no doubt her presence had helped him, but admitting that to her and himself wasn't something he was prepared to face.

Taking a chance, he snuck at glance at her, taking note that she wasn't wearing a bra. Letting that knowledge swirl around, his member grew painfully hard, and all he could think about was sinking deep inside her and letting everything else fall away.

'_What was this girl doing to him?'_

Haley sensed the shift in their ever present electricity; the line was once again about to be crossed.

She sucked in a breath, when he took her hand in his and rubbed his calloused thumb, the result of years of basketball, across the back of it. It astonished her, that with that simple touch, he could fill her with more pleasure than she ever dreamed of.

Turning to him, she met his hungry eyes, but something stopped her from leaning in; a light from her house—Chase was awake.

Before he could even try to convince her to stay, she was gone, rushing back up the steps to her house and disappearing through the door.

Revving up his engine, he made just as quick work at leaving her driveway. Not wanting to spend a second longer in the shadows of her life. Coming to her had been a mistake, an impulse he should have controlled. Should have, but couldn't. Because where Haley James was concerned, he had no control.

**_Present Day_**

His weight beside her on the cheap bleachers alerted her to his presence and she removed her ear buds. "Sorry, I can't stand my mind being left to its own devices." It was true. If she was ever left alone with her own thoughts, music would always come to her rescue.

Lucas made a show of reading what was currently paused on the device, smirking at the Dashboard scrolling across the screen before leaning away with a challenging glint in his eyes. "I watch you spin around in your highest heels, you are the best one, of the best ones."

She cracked a smile. "Stolen—one of my favorites."

He smiled back. "Mine too, and I hope I don't sound creepy in saying it reminds me of you."

Quirking her eyebrow, she chuckled. "I highly doubt that. I think your cheery girlfriend is much more the high heeled beacon type."

He leaned in a little closer to her as if he was telling her a secret. "Your sophomore year in high school, the basketball banquet. You wore this tight satiny navy strapless dress that was short enough to let every guy know your legs went on for miles, but long enough to where I know you felt comfortable. I'd never seen you like that, so carefree, so happy. Jake spun you around for hours on your ridiculous high heels and my eyes never left you the entire night. You were mesmerizing Peyton."

He backed away with a shy smile, suddenly aware of the intimate tension his words had created.

Peyton blinked in surprise, clearly taken aback, but she was still Peyton Sawyer and sarcasm was in her blood. "Well, you certainly don't get your charm from your brother, but save it Scott, I'm already going to tell you everything you need to know."

He let her believe what she wanted because really what was the point in her taking it to heart. Their lives were complicated enough without tapping into his lifelong crush on her. Not, that he wasn't ridiculously in love with Brooke, but there was just something about Peyton and there always had been.

"So…." Peyton hedged, the old rusted basketball hoop in front of her becoming a lot more interesting that it had a minute before.

Snapping back into reality, a reality he wished he could avoid, Lucas cleared his throat. "Just start from the beginning."

"I can't."

He turned to her. "What do you mean you can't you just said…"

"I said I'd tell you what you needed to know."

Arguing with her was futile. He was going to have to take what he could get and something told him that her holding back wasn't just for Haley, but for his own good as well. "All right, so tell me what I need to know."

She paused, not for dramatic effect, but to let her mind delve back into some of the moments she'd witnessed between Nathan and Haley, to remind herself she was only giving them the push they so desperately needed and desired.

Then with a deep breathe she said the words that would change everyone's lives forever. "Nathan and Haley...are in love."

* * *

Cath 


	5. The Lure Would Prove Too Much

**Author's Note**: Ok, so I kinda lied. LOL I said OYE and JWTF were coming up, but I stalled out on them. They are so close to being done, but I just can't get out of this "angst" mode so I went with it and wrote another LTB instead of forcing the others. They will be done soon, though. I'm going to get in a "non-angst" mood if it kills me. ;)

Anyway, this is a MAJOR chapter and you all will see why. In essence this is a huge turning point for all the characters, but most of all NH ofcourse. Tons and tons and tonssss of twists and goodies to come. So I hope you all continue to enjoy the ride. Every single one of your reviews means the world to me.

A big thanks to my fabulous beta Christina, who's Peyton seal of approval must be met before I ever post this. hehe. I also want to thank Susan for the amazing title and lyrics, not to mention turning me on to this band and many others. hugs . You bday present, even though belated, is coming girl.

Oh and Jess, we're so tied now. The South will reign supreme. :)

**Chapter Five "The Lure Would Prove Too Much"**

_Sexy eyes and c'est la vie, _

_I'll call you sometime_

_When I'm blue-_

_Say so, I'm getting under your skin, so soft_

_I can't help but pursue-_

_Til I'm screwed_

_Sunset, everything's fire-_

_But I can't can't get any higher-_

_Come get this lightning and rain all over me_

_O, Babe, without any doubt there is-_

_One thing I am nothing without and-_

_O, Babe surely you know I'll never tell you_

_Shine on, I can see clearly the light on-_

_Crashing me into the rocks_

_You siren sweet-_

_Street..._

_**The Twilight Singers**_

_**December 31st, 2005**_

Haley couldn't believe she was back at the Duke Basketball house. It was like stepping back in time. The music was just as loud, the girls just as slutty and the alcohol just as prominent. The only differences were a few random twinkling lights and mistletoe strewn about that no doubt some player's girlfriend decided to put up to get every one in the holiday mood.

Like anyone ever needed additional help getting in any kind of mood with the amount of alcohol that flowed in and out of this place.

She hadn't spotted Nathan yet, even though, she'd be desperately darting her eyes in every conceivable location since her arrival.

They hadn't seen each other since that night he showed up at her house, leaving her more bewildered than before. In a few weak moments, she'd dialed his number, which she'd gotten off Lucas's phone, but ultimately always hung up before pressing send.

He'd never returned to Tree Hill once, according to Lucas. Basketball had pretty much ruled every minute of his schedule, and he was hardly even in the state anymore. He didn't even make it to Christmas due to holiday tournaments.

Lucas and his parents had traveled to see him play, and she'd stayed home with Brooke mostly. Chase had been around up until Christmas Eve, and then left on his annual ski trip with his family. He had been due back tonight, but his flight had been delayed due to severe weather, and he wasn't getting in until at least tomorrow night.

It didn't bother her, as it should, though. Nathan was the one invading her every thought, and it was eating her alive.

"Haleyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy." Brooke whined, throwing her arms up dramatically to get her blonde friend's attention, too drunk to take into account anyone within a hundred yards could hear her screeching. "Come play 'I never' pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee..."

Shaking her head no and earning herself a pout in return, Haley moved away from the main room and ventured up the stair case. It was only eight o'clock, and she was bored out of her mind. She hated that most New Year's parties started way earlier than most due to the fact you needed to be totally wasted before midnight, which was when usual parties got rolling, but she understood the concept. Unfortunately, for her, it meant she'd be forced to stay there twice as long.

As soon as she reached the top of the stairs, she saw the room where everything had changed. It seemed like it was almost taunting her to come in and relive every last detail.

Looking around first, to make sure no one noticed her; she slipped over to the door, but then froze in place. _'What if he was in there with someone else?'_

"Nathan and a few others had to stay after for some interviews," Peyton Sawyer spoke up from behind Haley.

Turning around, Haley tried to hide her embarrassment at being caught loitering. "I was just looking for the bathroom."

Peyton tilted her head, scrutinizing Haley. "Whatever. But you might as well come in and use Nathan's restroom. The others have lines a mile long."

Haley nodded, then watched amazed as Peyton took a card out of her back pocket and like an expert pried Nathan's door open within a couple seconds.

"Thanks."

"No prob." Peyton smiled as she made her way inside motioning for Haley to follow her.

Plopping down on a sofa in Nathan's room, Peyton took note of how Haley immediately found the bathroom without instructions, as if she'd been there before. Of course, it could have been luck, but the thing with Nathan's suite was that besides the main door there was the bathroom, the closet and another door leading to a workout area. Which is confusing enough in itself, but being identical made the odds even worse that you'd open the wrong door on your first try.

Coming back out, Haley smiled kindly. "Thanks again Peyton. I'll guess I'll see you around the party."

"I doubt it." Peyton snorted, all ready taking her eyes off Haley and reaching for Nathan's remote.

She should have left, made a clean break, but Haley was never good at minding her own business. "You're not going back out there?"

Peyton didn't look up. "It's not really my scene, but Tim and Nathan would flip if I stayed in tonight, so here I am. I figure I'll hide out here awhile till they show up, take a few shots in their presence, and then take my ass back to my apartment."

It was Haley's turn to scrutinize Peyton. She'd always been intimidated by the curly haired blonde, never speaking more than pleasantries to her in the past, but she'd never really taken notice of how closed off Peyton had become since Jake died. Sure, she was never the cheerful type anyway, but Haley had at least always seen her out in about before his death, even helping run the local nightclub Tric, which the Scotts held holdings. The past year to though, Haley couldn't remember a single time she'd seen Peyton anywhere.

"Do you mind if I hang out with you?" Haley asked shyly, shifting a bit in place.

Quirking an eyebrow at her, Peyton halted her channel surfing. "Um…I guess not, but correct me if I'm wrong, isn't your cheery BFF going to miss her butt buddy?"

"Ouch."

Peyton sighed. "Sorry, I guess I could have found a better way to put it."

"No, it's ok. I don't blame you for being skeptical, but truth be told I can get a little overwhelmed at these things."

"Have a sit then." Peyton shrugged, leaning over to a mini fridge and taking out a bottle of tequila. "But it is New Year's Eve and that does call for some drinking."

An hour later, at around nine both girls had given up on the television and were sprawled out on Nathan's floor listening to a few of Peyton's homemade CDs, that she'd ran and gotten out of car.

"Dude, I can't believe you know music like I do." Peyton declared for probably the tenth time in the last half hour as Haley again rattled off the artist of the song that had just began to play with only hearing the first few notes.

Haley giggled and passed the now half empty bottle back to Peyton. "When I was little, I inherited all these records from my "unique" aunt Ellie, as my parents called her. So from the age of eight on I was rocking out to Zepp, The Cure, Joplin, you name it. After listening to them, how could I not only listen to real artists who actually know who to write and sing."

"Amen." Peyton shouted and then took a swig. "All the processed bullshit out there is painful at best."

"Ohh Patti Griffin!" Haley cheered, then started to sing out loud the lyrics to 'Blue Sky', one of her favorites.

Peyton was floored as she listened to Haley's phenomenal voice fill the room, giving her goose bumps. As soon as Haley was finished, Peyton sat up, with her mouth hanging open in shock.

"Oops, sorry didn't mean to belt out there." Haley apologized, feeling her cheeks burn from more than just the alcohol in her system.

"Are you freakin kidding me? Where the hell did you learn to sing like that?"

Haley gave her a confused look. "I didn't learn, unless you count shower training and I think the tequila is hindering your judgment."

Shaking her head in wonder, Peyton handed Haley the bottle. "I don't kid about music, drunk or not. You can sing, I mean really really really sing. Do you play anything?"

"Guitar," Haley blurted out, then looked down, embarrassed at what she had admitted. No one really knew of her hobby, Sure they had noticed the guitar in her room, but no one ever thought she actually played. They just assumed Haley kept it around because like the records. It was a gift from her aunt.

"Are you sure you're the same Haley James that is a cheerleader, Brooke Davis' best friend, and Miss all around perfect?"

Frowning first, Haley took a couple large gulps, and then leaned back against Nathan's leather recliner. "Don't call me that."

"What a cheerleader because I'm pretty…"

"No perfect." Haley interrupted and Peyton quickly recognized she'd hit a cord. Apparently, there was a lot more to Haley James than she ever imagined possible.

"Sorry, you would think me of all people wouldn't be so quick to judge."

The corner of Haley's lips began to turn upward. "It's ok. I thought you were a bitch."

Peyton laughed at that and laid back down. "Oh I still am, don't you worry."

Laughing with her, the two fell back into a comfortable silence as they lost themselves in the haunting voice of Finn Andrews from _The Veils_.

…

"And the party has arrived!" Tim shouted out to the crowd as he, Nathan, Damien, and a few others entered the house amidst a gigantic round of cheers and applause.

Nathan spotted Lucas immediately trying to wrench Brooke away from an ice block.

Chuckling, Nathan ignored the girls calling his name and made his way over to his brother. "You got her handled lil' brother?"

Lucas turned and let out a frustrated breath. "I think so. Although, now Haley is missing and I got to track her down."

"Haley's here?" Nathan practically squeaked out receiving a bizarre look from Lucas.

"Yeah, Chase's flight got delayed and no way was Brooke letting her sit home and wait."

Rolling his eyes at the mere mention of Chase's name, Nathan called Damien over.

Sauntering over, Damien slapped Nathan on the back. "Hey man, look I'm taking the brunettes tonight, so concentrate on the blondes." He instructed while throwing a few hotties some nods.

"Let's get this straight; I'll fuck who I wanna fuck. Now, while you're trolling keep an eye out for Haley."

Damien's eyes lit up. "Haley James, the virgin? Oh hell yes, I'll be on the look out."

"Look, don't touch. Got it?" Nathan pointed a finger in Damien's chest.

"Damn, you made that clear the 4th of July, asshole."

Crossing his arms, Nathan turned to Luke again. "I'll go look upstairs, I need to take a shower anyway."

After checking all the rooms and interrupting numerous couples going at it, Nathan passed by his room intent on skipping the shower until he found Haley, but laughter from inside stopped him in his tracks.

Opening the door, he was shocked as hell to find a drunk Haley James laughing her ass off on his floor next to an equally drunk and giddy Peyton Sawyer. "What the hell?"

Both girls abruptly stopped laughing to see who had invaded their space.

"Hi ya Natey!" Peyton giggled, struggling to sit back up.

Haley rolled over on her stomach and smiled at him. "Hey there." _'Damn, he looked good.'_

Rubbing at his forehead, he bent over to pick up the practically empty bottle of his best Patron. "Nice. That cost a hundred bucks."

"Oopsie." Haley giggled, tossing her head to the side, her long waves flying with it.

There was that laugh of hers again; a laugh so infectious it had him smiling back at her in spite of himself. He'd be in love with that laugh since they were kids. _'Fuck, this was not helping in getting her the hell out of his head.' _

Of course, seeing her now, he wasn't sure he wanted her out. She was wearing skin tight dark blue jeans, a satin and lace navy cami, with matching high heels that kept criss crossing over one another in the air drawing his attention.

Peyton wasn't an idiot, even drunk, and the way Nathan was looking at Haley was something she'd never seen before. His eyes had been cold when he'd walked in, but now they were anything but. Pure adoration shined there.

"Oh god…" Haley moaned out of nowhere, her face contorting in pain. "I think I'm going to be…" She didn't even finish her sentence as she jumped up and flew into the bathroom.

"Damn it Peyton, why the fuck did you let her drink so much?" Nathan blew up, the coldness returning to his eyes, yet she knew he was more worried than annoyed. She'd seen a million girls get sick in his presence, and he never gave them a second glance, even going so far as to toss them out on their drunk ass.

"Excuse me? Haley is capable of making decisions for herself."

That didn't deter Nathan. "Go get Lucas."

With a huff she stood. "Fine, let me check on her first."

"Peyton, I got her." Nathan firmly informed her, to which Peyton just smiled knowingly before strolling out.

…

"Lucas!" Peyton shouted over the music.

Turning around, with Brooke on his lap, Lucas spotted a wobbling Peyton.

Coming over, Peyton managed a small smile. "Haley's ok."

Brooke looked up at Haley's name. "And how the hell would you know?"

Rolling her eyes, Peyton stayed focus on Lucas. "She's passed out up stairs. She'll be fine. She just needs some sleep."

"Thanks, I'll go check on her. What room is she in?"

"No, no she's fine I promise. Nathan actually found her and she's sleeping soundly now. If you wake her up, she might start puking again." She was lying, but something inside her told her to leave Nathan and Haley alone. Haley James wasn't anything like she'd envisioned and was just what Nathan Scott needed.

"Why were you with her again?" Brooke practically spit out. She'd never liked Miss Doom and Gloom.

"Is that any of your business?"

"Listen bitch…" Her words were cut off by Lucas's hand over her mouth.

Giving Peyton an apologetic look first, Lucas whispered into Brooke's ear for her to calm down.

Peyton heard Tim calling her name in the distance. "All right, I've done my good deed for the night. I know you'll be disappointed, but I think I better find some company better suited for me."

"At the cemetery?" Brooke suggested with a wicked grin.

Not dignifying that with a response, Peyton walked away to find Tim, hoping Lucas headed her words and didn't go after Haley, at least for a bit.

…

Holding her hair back, as she heaved time after time into the porcelain bowl, Nathan was struck by just how concerned he was for her. This overwhelming need to protect her was taking hold of him, a need he'd never felt for another, not even his own brother.

When she felt there was nothing left, she pulled her head up and looked up at him with watery bloodshot eyes. "Why are you helping me?"

"I don't know." He answered honestly and to her that was the best answer he could have given her because she herself didn't know why she cared.

When he was satisfied, she wasn't going to be sick again, he let go of her hair. "Listen, I'll be right back. I think there's a spare toothbrush in one of those drawers."

Giving him a weak nod, he left her alone and as he said, she found a bright blue toothbrush most likely from a dentist given the packaging.

Brushing her teeth and splashing some cool water on her face, made her feel slightly better and slowly she walked back into his bedroom and collapsed on his bed.

Returning not three minutes later, Nathan found her lying on her side with her eyes closed, looking so damn beautiful. Even sick, he couldn't take his eyes off her.

When he kneeled down beside her, she opened her eyes and smiled. "Hi."

He smiled back. "You feeling better drunkie?"

"Where did you go?"

"To tell the guys I was out for the night."

She pushed herself up slowly, "Huh? Why? It's New Year's Eve."

"Look, I'm fucking exhausted, and I don't want you puking all over my bed, so I'm staying up here, end of story." _'Why did she have to ask so many questions?'_

Glaring at him, she sat up even more, trying to ease herself into the inevitable storm out scene just waiting for its cue. "I don't need a babysitting. Lucas will take me home."

"He's busy taking care of Brooke, which you should know isn't easy."

Her head ached and instead of egging him on, she laid back down, closing her eyes again. "I'm so tired."

Walking over to the couch, he grabbed a large Duke themed afghan and brought it back over to the bed, spreading it out on top of her. "Get some sleep. You can bitch me out when you wake up."

…

When she awoke a couple hours later, she rolled over to discover him laying flat on his back beside her, staring up at the ceiling.

"I'm feeling better." She groggily spoke, alerting him to her consciousness.

He stayed focused on the ceiling. "Good."

"So did I sleep through the end of 2005?"

Nathan glanced over at his nightstand beside him, where his digital clock sat. "Ten more minutes. You still have time to get drunk and puke all over again if you want."

"No thanks. I'll leave in a bit though, I promise. I just want to lie here a little while longer. It's the only quiet place in this house."

"You can stay here as long as you want. As long you're in here with me, no drunk whore will try to get in."

She smiled to hide the truth she felt in her next words. "Like me?"

He turned on his side to face her with a frown where a smirk usually claimed residence. "You're not a whore Haley, even if I made you feel like one."

Biting her lip, she nodded in gratitude. Somehow knowing he didn't categorize her with his usual harem made her feel special, even if he was just trying to make her feel better. Then again, Nathan Scott didn't ever hand out compliments so maybe she could take stock in his statement.

"Do you ever think of me?" She suddenly asked, her eyes remaining set on his. That tequila must still be in her system because if she were in her right mind she'd never have had the nerve to ask him.

"Yes." He simply confessed. He didn't know why he'd told her the truth. It could have been due to the lack of sleep from basketball, but more likely, it was the fact that for some reason when he lost himself in her eyes, lying wasn't even a remote possibility.

Silence fell over them for a long moment.

"Why did you come here tonight?" He finally questioned his eyes leaving hers and focusing on the small space of mattress between them. Vulnerable wasn't in his DNA, but she'd started this conversation and he wasn't one to be left unsatisfied.

"Why did you come to me on your birthday?" She threw back.

He cleared his throat. "I needed to see you...and I still don't why."

Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest, the fear of rejection coursing through her veins. "I know the feeling." She whispered.

"I can't give you anything Haley." He abruptly informed her, his eyes finding hers once more to drive home his words. Being with her was one thing; an actual relationship was another.

She sat up cautiously, looking down on him, as her next statement came out as strong as his. "I wasn't asking."

He bolted up and off the bed, frustrated. "Then what the fuck do you want?"

Gazing up at him, she took a shaky breathe. "You. I just don't want whatever this is to stop. I know it's a mistake, but…" She didn't know how to finish that sentence. Putting her need for Nathan Scott into words was an unattainable fete at this point.

"What about Chase?"

She let out a small laugh. "Like you care about him."

"I didn't say I did. I never have and never will, but can you handle screwing me on a regular basis while still playing the loyal girlfriend? Because if you can't, this ends now."

After crawling across the bed, she put her bare foot on his hardwood floor and stood up. It was then she noticed he must have removed her heels in her sleep and with that small gesture, any doubts she'd had about what she was about to say vanished.

Taking a single step closer to him, she placed her palms flat against his chest. "All I know is that I can't handle not seeing you again."

That was all he needed.

His arms came up to encircle her tiny waist, pulling her tightly to him as he bent down, until his mouth was a breath away from hers ."I know the feeling."

She grinned as his lips took the final step in capturing hers while the party below rang in the New Year.

For the two lovers, it was indeed a new beginning. A beginning that would not only shape the rest of their lives, but the lives of those that loved them, as well.

**_Present Day_**

"No, no, no." Lucas kept repeating while shaking his head and backing away from the bleachers.

"Lucas…I'm sorry." Peyton touched his shoulder in an attempt to comfort, but he flinched.

"Don't. You're lying, I don't know why, but you're lying. Haley is my best friend. Nathan is my brother. They would never hide this from me."

"They never hid it to purposely hurt you or anyone."

"I don't believe you." Lucas stood firm, taking his keys out of his pocket and heading off towards his mustang.

She went after him, speaking louder. "Normally I could care less, but your brother needs you Lucas. The only girl he's ever and will ever love is in a coma and he's on the outside looking in. It's destroying him."

Dropping his keys, while trying to open his car door, something caught Lucas' eye. A silver key with a cracked blue plastic covering that he usually never noticed among the thousand others. It was a key to his parent's beach house, but it looked familiar for an entirely different reason.

With a slight push, he'd shed the key of the covering, and his worst fears were confirmed. He didn't even have to take the key he'd discovered in the book he'd given Haley out of his pocket to know it was an exact match. Only four people had a copy of this key and since he could safely rule out himself and his parents that only left Nathan as the one to give Haley a fifth.

"Think about it Lucas, really think about it. Doesn't everything fall into place?"

It did and as if Peyton had flipped a switch, his blinders were off. All the late night phone calls, all the excuses; that constant far off look in her eyes, her attempts to break up with Chase, they were all like pieces of a puzzle he never even knew existed until Peyton.

"Oh god, she tried to tell me. Lately, she'd even been calling me in the middle of the night wanting to talk, but I was always too busy with Brooke. Oh god…she's in that hospital because of me…oh god. I wasn't there when she needed me. Why didn't I see it?"

He fell to the ground, his knees hitting the pavement with a thud, his eyes filling with tears as the guilt began to swallow him whole.

On instinct, Peyton was at his side, holding his shaking body. She didn't say a word, just was there for him, letting him absorb everything he'd discovered.

Haley's accident had shaken his very foundation and now realizing he may have never known her at all had shattered it beyond repair.

He'd never be the same again and she knew that feeling all to well.

…

"Where is your brother?" Brooke stood in front of a half asleep Nathan, taping her jet black pump against the stark white hospital floor, impatiently.

Groaning, Nathan checked his watch, ten till midnight. One more hour and he could see Haley. By then Chase and Brooke were usually passed out and a nurse, that said he reminded her of her son, helped sneak him into her room.

After catching him in there multiple times after visiting hours, she'd developed a soft spot for him apparently. He could never even begin to repay her.

"I don't know Brooke, Why don't you activate the low jack you have attached to him."

"Why are you even here if he's not? You're really starting to look pathetic milking this hero thing. Which is ironic, seeing, as you didn't even really save her, did you? She's still not awake and may never be. For all we know, all you did was prolong her suffering. She could be agony now because of you." Brooke lashed out, in full bitch mode. This was how she coped.

Nathan was in her face so fast she stumbled back. "I'm going to let this shit slide since I know no matter how twisted you are you love Haley and this is killing you, but make no mistake Brooke. If you ever and I mean ever act like you know a damn thing about me again I will make you pay. Stay the fuck away from me and my business."

"Nathan."

Both Brooke and Nathan turned to face a tortured looking Lucas.

Brooke ran over to him. "Thank god you're here Broody. You're brother…"

Lucas shoved her away from him, shocking her, and went straight up to Nathan.

With one look in Lucas's eyes, Nathan knew his brother had found out, but what he didn't know was what Lucas was going to do with the information.

"CODE BLUE ROOM 323. REPEAT CODE BLUE ROOM 323."

Everyone's heart stopped. That was Haley's room.

No one made a move, the only sounds were their breathing until Chase, who had been in Haley's room, came out trembling, his face pale as a ghost.

"Chase, what's wrong? What's happening?" Brooke flew to him.

Before he could answer, a doctor who no one had seen before came out in a pair of green scrubs with a clipboard in his hands. "I'm Dr. Stevens. I'm sorry to tell you this, but Miss James has suffered a ruptured cerebral aneurysm stemming from her head trauma. Her initial CT scan must have missed it or it didn't develop until later. We need to do emergency surgery to stop the hemorrhaging. Is there a Brooke Davis here?"

Brooke, now with tears streaming down her face, nodded.

"Her parents signed over Miss James's rights to you in the event they weren't available. Legally, with you present we need your permission."

Lucas jumped in. "Will she be ok? Is surgery the only option?"

"I won't know the extent of the damage until we open her up. Whether there will be any permanent brain damage, _if_ she survives, I can't tell you. There are always risks with any surgery, but in your friend's case, they are all mute. I assure you without this surgery she will continue to bleed out into her brain and die. This is her only option."

Reaching out Brooke yanked the board from his hands and scribbled her name across the bottom. "Save her." She handed it back to him.

"I'll do everything that I can." The doctor promised before rushing off to play God, as Haley's life was literally in his hands.

In that moment, everything faded away for each and every one in that room. The secrets and lies Lucas discovered, Brooke's curiosity of where Lucas had been, Nathan's anger towards Brooke, it all was pushed away as the girl they _all_ loved fought for her life.

For now, it didn't matter which version she was fighting for, all that mattered was that she survived.

* * *

Cath 


	6. Signs Of Life

Hey guys,

I know I have been so bad about updating anything lately. Anytime I thought my muse was close it vanished, but it has def returned and it probably helps I have a bet with Jess that propels me to kick her ass by writing. LOL

Anyway, I love the contrast between past and present and this chapter will show that big time. Also, thank you all for your reviews. I loved hearing your reaction to the HC almost break up. Alot of you identified and I love that. When you are with someone for so long, it usually takes a few tries before you can make the break up stick so I'm glad you guys understood that. I can't wait to hear what you think of this chapter.

I want to thank Christina for her amazing and fast beta-ing and Susan & Sally for helping me figure all this LJ stuff out. Anyway, enough rambling from me. You guys are amazing and your reviews always mean the world to me.

**Chapter Six "Signs of Life"**

_Break through hoping your demons can't catch you  
So many people with a good view  
If you should ever be the one to hit the ground  
There's stop signs on the wrong highway  
And it's so dark looking for answers  
But your headlights have already gone out  
You're looking for a spark _

A heart that's been buried in the ground  
Can't break if it's never found  
I spent so much time digging that grave  
And even if it's pain that I feel  
At least I know that it's real  
I'd rather be broken than afraid  
Can April hours spring  
Signs of life in me

Just slow down and take it in stride, yeah  
There's no deadlines as long as you're alive, yeah  
Alive, yeah 

_**Lifehouse**_

_**April 1**__**st**__**, 2006**_

"LET'S GO RAVENS, LET'S GO!" Haley and Brooke cheered as Lucas bounded down the court, his hands itching for Skills to pass him the ball, while Chase did everything in his power to help keep him open.

The Ravens had made it to the playoffs and were one game away from the state championship, a title the Scott brothers had coveted the last two years in a row, however this time, only one Scott remained, and Lucas was feeling the pressure from every possible angle.

When the ball was in Lucas's grasp, Haley and Brooke dropped their pom poms and clasped their hands together. This was it, and Haley could feel the panic radiating off her best friend as he fought for a shot.

Unfortunately, he wasn't the only Scott on her mind, nor was he the only Scott feeling the pressure.

…

Nathan couldn't see him, but he knew his father was there. He could feel his cold hard stare judging his every move and counting on his failure.

Tossing the ball back into play, he took off after LSU's strongest player, a player that couldn't rival his own stats, but sure as hell was making him work for his superiority.

The cheerleaders were screaming his name, and the crowd was on its feet, but the noise barely registered to him, as the clock dwindled down to ten seconds.

Most people measure their life by years, in some cases months, but to a basketball player, it's only the seconds that count. One second can make or break an entire legacy and shape a player's entire life for better or worse.

Simultaneously blocking a shot and stealing the ball, Nathan tossed it to Damien, who raced to the three point line.

Nathan met him on the other side, his arms out ready for a pass to which Damien effortlessly launched it to him.

The clock ticked away, reverberating in Nathan's ears. With only one second remaining, this was Duke's, and _his_ last shot of the game, maybe the year.

Nevertheless, he wasn't a legend at eighteen for nothing.

And swish.

Pandemonium rang out. Students rushed to the floor, confetti rained down and the players hoisted him up as if he were a king.

Duke was going to the championship, yet in spite of the euphoria around him, Nathan felt nothing but disappointment, and he knew his father felt the same.

….

Haley yawned, as she settled back in Chase's arms, from a seat below him, on the benches of the Rivercourt. Luke and Brooke were in a similar position beside them, silently staring at the same far off light glowing across the river.

"Tired Hales?" Lucas glanced over concerned, Brooke doing the same at mention of Haley's name.

Haley smiled and reached over to ruffle his spiky hair. "You worry too much Luke. It's my turn to be in protective mode."

Chase squeezed her closer.

Luke turned to face Haley better. "I'm really ok, Hales…I promise. Besides Nathan's going to the championship and that's enough for me." He humbly rationalized, true to form.

Sometimes Haley wished he wouldn't be so humble, so accommodating to everyone else's needs. Lucas never wanted to hurt anyone, always focused on making others happy and the positive side of things. Which to most, would seem like a positive, but with Lucas, it wasn't.

In fact, Haley was sure Lucas sought refuge in the classics of Hemmingway, Steinbeck, and Shakespeare to embrace the complexity he avoided in his everyday life. Lucas ignored his demons, suppressed his understandable selfish moments, and though she wasn't stupid enough to realize she did the same, it saddened her more with Lucas. If he could just let go, dig below the surface, the depths of sorrow and joy he would find would without a doubt, have him giving the greats a run for their money with his own words.

Lucas Scott, the next to pen the great American novel, was his destiny, but whether he'd ever come close to fulfilling it, she couldn't say. Although, on nights like this, she was doubtful she'd ever see a treasured L. Scott first edition resting on her bookshelf.

Of course, at the same time, she'd never have time to read it, time to enjoy anything in life. She'd spend her twenties stuck in classroom, then stuck in a hospital. She wouldn't even finish up her residency or fellowship until her thirtieth birthday rolled around. Somewhere in between she'd marry Chase, then once she settled into a prestigious hospital, of her parent's choice, making more money then she would know what to do with, she may have a child of two, both of whom she'd never see. Strangely enough, at nearly seventeen, the latter part was what kept her up at night.

Sparing Lucas a glance, she wondered if he ever looked at her and saw more; saw the dreams that were hers and not her parents, not her friends.

Nonetheless, even if he did, he'd never tell her. And just like her, he'd quietly watch her surrender to someone else's destiny because while they wanted the best for each other, their greatest fear would always prevail—disappointing the ones they loved.

There were times, however, when she let her mind wonder to _'what if". _What if she did get out, set her own path, followed her heart? She used to barely have the courage to think about such things. That is until Nathan.

Tightening her grip on her cell phone hidden in her pocket, she again resisted the urge to call and congratulate him. He was probably banging some airhead cheerleader anyway. _'God, why did she have to put that thought in her head?'_

It had been weeks since they'd been together. Nathan's scheduling made it virtually impossible, save for a few random nights he drive down to spend a few hours screwing all over her house before he turned around and went back..

She wasn't angry though, she was just disappointed. She missed his hands on her body, his lips sliding over her skin and the way he made her forget her entire world. She simply missed him, even if she didn't want to explore what that meant.

Just then, as if he was reading her mind, her cell began to vibrate and not even thinking she whipped it out of her pocket to let her eyes confirm

It was a text containing only the words, "Say yes."

"Say yes to what?" Chase peered over her shoulder, sending a cold chill down her spine.

Haley immediately cleared the message off her phone and slid it back into her pocket. "Um, I don't know. It was a number I didn't recognize. It's happened a lot lately. I get all these random messages." She laughed lightly, hoping it would disguise her lie as her mind attempted every possible scenario to get her away from the group to call him.

Brooke suddenly giggled when she felt Lucas's phone vibrate against her shoulder. "If only I was sitting in your lap."

Lucas grinned and grabbed his phone, smiling even bigger when he answered. "Nate man, I've been trying to get a hold of you. Congratulations big brother."

Haley kept her eyes innocently fixed on the river before her, but she was clinging to ever word out of Lucas's mouth, trying to decipher what Nathan could possibly be saying on the other end.

"Hell yes we will." Lucas enthused, suddenly feeling a lot better.

Hanging up a second later, Lucas looked to his friends and kissed his girlfriend's cheek.

"You guys up for a road trip? Nathan pulled some strings and booked us on the last flight out tonight to Indianapolis so we can catch the championship game Sunday. He said its one big ass party at the hotel. Only downside is he could only swing one room for us all."

Haley bit her lip to contain her excitement, any potential disasters that would usually run through her head at Chase and Nathan being in the same place, flew out of her head at the prospect of seeing Nathan.

Brooke was already bouncing in her seat, rambling on about how much fun they would have, and somewhere in between her rant, Chase had agreed too. Not it was all on her.

Lucas bent down a bit and punched her lightly in the arm. "So what do you say Hales?"

"I say yes." She smiled, already feeling alive again and going with the flow as Brooke took her hand and pulled her away from the boys, so they could get packing.

This was definitely going to be a weekend none of them would ever forget.

…

"I'm soooooooooo drunk!" Brooke shouted over the crowd of college kids who were partying as if Duke had already won the championship.

They'd arrived at the hotel around noon that day and been immediately thrust into crowd of blue devil fans taking up every spare inch of the establishment. Presently, Haley and Brooke were dancing by the pool in their matching Duke blue string bikinis, which Brooke insisted they wear.

Haley giggled when Brooke grinded against her, "Penelope, don't forget I don't have a penis."

Joining Haley's giggles, Brooke leaned and planted a sloppy kiss on Haley's cheek. "Just giving the boys a good show. GO DEVILS!" She screamed, the crowd around them erupting into cheers before chugging more alcohol.

A tray of shots found their way to the make shift poolside dance floor and Brooke snatched two in each hand. "Drink up James; you need to start catching up."

Over the last few hours, Haley had been taking it easy. Not because she wasn't catching the celebratory bug, but because she wanted to keep her mind clear for Nathan, to be ready to dash off and indulge in any and every free second they could spend together and being drunk, would make her ability to be discreet pretty much impossible.

Although, as the hours passed by and the sun began to set, her resolve was wearing thin. Nathan hadn't called, text messaged, shown up, nothing and while she knew he was obviously busy, she couldn't help the swell of anger that was taking over. She was so tired of him calling all the shots, deciding when he'd grace her with his presence and this weekend was beginning to feel like one big slap in the face.

So with a cheeky grin and a gleam in her eye, Brooke couldn't quite decipher, Haley took two shots from Brooke and let them slide down her throat.

…

It was ten o'clock and Nathan's entire body was on fire and not in the good way. His muscles burned, his bones ached, and his head, well his head was spinning with thoughts of her.

He should have expected he'd barely get to see her, but that didn't stop him from wanting, no needing her to come. It had been weeks since they'd been alone and each day that passed without seeing her ate away at him. It was becoming literally painful not to be together.

He needed a fix and he needed it now, even if he only had a single hour before curfew.

Bypassing the main lobby, he headed out to the pool area to find Haley. His brother had sent him a text a few hours earlier saying they'd most likely be there all night.

People grabbed for him, praising him, but he ignored them all, his eyes searching for the only one that mattered.

When he finally found her, though, he'd wished to God he hadn't. She was swaying to the music, a drink in her hand, a tiny bikini barely covering her out of this fucking world curves and Chase, her prick of a boyfriend was all over her from behind.

'Mother fucker.' Nathan ground out, jaw clenched, his blood boiling. That's when it hit him, he was jealous. In his entire eighteen years on this earth, he'd never been jealous. Guys wanted to be him and girls wanted to fuck him. He was a God and yet here he stood ready to beat the living shit out of someone for merely dancing with their own girlfriend.

Logically, he knew had no rights to Haley, yet when he looked at her, she was _his_ and only his.

With a few quick strides, he made his way to the group, a forced smirk hiding his brimming anger. "Shit, why do I have to have a curfew?" He rhetorically asked making his presence known, feigning his interest in joining the chaos.

"Nate!" Lucas beamed and pulled his brother into a manly hug. "Coach had you guys practicing all this time?"

Nathan knew she was blatantly staring at him, but he didn't even acknowledge her presence, keeping his eyes trained on his brother. "Yeah, and I only have about 45 minutes to get my ass back into my room or I can kiss playing tomorrow goodbye."

Chase laughed and hugged Haley closer, not noticing her stiffened posture. "Somehow I doubt they'd bench their top player."

"You don't know Coach K." Nathan shot back, barely sparing him a glance before focusing back on Lucas.

Haley wasn't drunk, still far from it actually. That's not to say she wasn't tipsy and letting her guard down, which is why she didn't object when Chase came up behind her and joined her and Brooke. Even sober, she really couldn't come up with an excuse to not dance with her boyfriend, so she went with the flow, but now she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

Her eyes begged him to look at her, to no avail. Did he just not want to see her? Did he regret ever inviting her? Or did he just invite her to drive her insane? All the questions swirling in her head were overpowering any alcohol in her system and she suddenly felt very sober.

She watched helplessly as Nathan and Lucas exchanged a few more words, and Nathan head off in the direction of the hotel.

"Where's he going?" Haley blurted out, the booming of 50 cent's '_Candy Shop'_ preventing her from hearing their last words.

Lucas gave her a curious look before shrugging. "Said he was going to eat and head to bed." Figuring the conversation was over Lucas began dancing with Brooke again.

Chase tried to get Haley to move, but she wasn't having it.

"I have to pee." She turned and half whispered, half yelled in Chase's ear.

Twisting her around, he quickly kissed her lips. "Don't be long."

Seeing another tray of jello shots pass them by, Haley grabbed the entire thing and handed it Chase. "Take some shots for me." She coyly pushed, hoping the drunker he got, the less he could tell time and realize how long she'd been gone.

Noticing, Brooke and Lucas were in their own little world, Haley slipped away without telling them anything. Chase would fill them in.

Dashing into the hotel, Haley became blatantly aware she'd forgotten her cover up when the cool air hit her barely covered body. "Damn it."

She was vaguely aware someone was behind her by the sound of something unzipping, but she paid it no attention until she felt a garment of some kind being slipped over her head and down her body.

Jumping nearly ten feet, Haley spun around to come face to face with Nathan Scott and looking down she realized he'd pulled his jersey over her. She slid her arms through the massive arm holes. "Thank you."

He didn't say anything just stared at her for a moment, his anger temporarily set to the side as he took in the utterly sexy sight of her swimming in his jersey. When she reached out and touched his arm, the fury returned and he jerked his arm away. "No big deal. It's our home jersey, so it's not like I need it. I'm sure Chase wouldn't want you slutting it up in the lobby."

Haley blinked in surprise. His tone was as cold, as his words harsh. What right did he have to be pissed at her?

Her hands fell to her hips. "What the hell is your problem Nathan?"

It was his turn to be taken aback. "You are not turning this shit around on me." He gritted out, ignoring some fans openly gawking at him.

Her heart began to race. "What the hell did I do to you? All I am is at your fucking beck and call and I'm sick of it. You come and go as you please and then I come all the way here, and you can't even bother to call me or even send me a pathetic text message? I know you sent Lucas a few." She challenged, her arms now flailing with her words.

"I was at practice, all fucking day and when I was _texting_ Lucas, it was to find out where your ass was. Although, he didn't mention you having dry sex, with some guy in front of _my_ whole fucking college."

She rolled her big brown eyes at his childish behavior. "You are such a drama queen. And he's not just some guy; he's my boyfriend Nathan. Are you forgetting that? He has claim to me, not you. You're the bad guy, he's the good guy, and that will never change." She threw back, her voice laced with contempt.

The truth in her words sliced through him and for a brief second he faltered, letting his eyes echo the hurt she'd caused, but true to form, he swiftly recovered, praying she hadn't noticed his momentary slip. "You're right Haley. I am the bad guy, so you better stay the fuck away from me."

She closed her eyes to get a hold of herself, but when she opened them, he was gone.

She wasn't surprised; all he ever did was walk away from her.

What she couldn't grasp, though, was why he was so pissed off. He knew about Chase, even taunted her about him, so what did it matter if she was dancing with him? Could he really be jealous? Could he really care enough about her to warrant that? No, it was impossible. Nathan Scott only cared about himself.

Before she could contemplate his outburst any further, a male voice called out her name.

Shaking her herself out of her daze, Haley looked up to find Damien West smirking at her.

His had nothing on Nathan's.

"Hey Damien." Haley forced a half smile, wrapping her arms around herself.

Looking her up and down, he raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, well well, Little Miss oh so hot Haley James isn't so innocent. Don't say I approve of you choosing Scott, but it makes sense now.

Glancing down at her jersey, she realized how he came to that conclusion. "I was cold, he let me borrow this and not that I care, but how does it make sense?"

A stacked blonde pranced around beside them and Damien admired her before turning back to Haley. "Uh…oh I don't know. He just hasn't been hooking up with anyone on campus, which I'm not complaining because more for me, but it's just odd. I was starting to wonder if he'd turned gay," He paused as if still mulling it over, but taking in Haley's hotness once more, he knew that wasn't the case. "Anyway, now it makes sense. He was tapping your fine ass back in Tree Hill."

Haley glanced around at all the campus sluts that were parading around the hotel. "He's not tapping anything of mine and furthermore, no way in hell has Nathan Scott stopped manwhoring."

He shrugged, "Well, someone's got his attention because whether you want to believe it or not I haven't seen him with one chick. In fact, I've seen him actually turning them down left and right. Which, again I'm not complaining." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively,

"I don't believe you." Haley stood firm, although her heart was begging for it to be the truth.

He eyed Nathan's number covering her stomach. "And I don't believe you."

"Oh? Why is that?" She challenged, praying he couldn't hear how shaky her voice sounded.

"Because there's something you don't know about Nathan, that really no one knows unless you're a fellow baller. No one and I mean no one wears his jersey. He doesn't even let the team wash them. To him anyone else touching or wearing them is bad luck. So babe, you can spout all the bullshit you want, but the fact that you're wearing that jersey is bigger than getting a diamond out of that boy. So save it James, you can't fool West."

For a moment, Damien thought she was going to slap him, which he probably deserved, but she leaned in and kissed his cheek instead. When she pulled back, he noticed the wide grin on her gorgeous face. "What was that for?" He touched his cheek.

Ignoring is question an idea came to her. "Not that I'm admitting anything, but do you think you could help me with something?"

Intrigued, he only nodded. He'd follow her anywhere and he was pretty sure every man on the planet would feel the same. Gay, married, straight, it didn't matter. One smile from her had you eating out of the palm of her hand and ironically, what gave her that power, more than anything, was that she wasn't even aware of it.

…

Exhausted and full, Nathan let the hot water cascade down his hard lean body. His entire day had been shot to hell and he was counting on a nice long shower relaxing him enough to where he could actually stop thinking of her for five seconds and pass out.

Turning off the water, he thought he heard the sound of the door to his room opening. Getting out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist. He didn't have a roommate, but Damien was in the adjoining room.

"Damien, get the fuck out…" The words died on his lips when he caught sight of Haley sitting on the edge of his bed, her smooth taut legs crossed, and a pair of sky high stiletto heels adorning her previously bare feet. She was still wearing his jersey but it was clear that was all she was wearing now. Not a bikini string was in sight and his blood soared south.

"Are you bad mouthing Damien?" She grinned wickedly. "That's not very nice. After all, he did sneak me in here."

Shaking his head, he fought to keep his control. "He shouldn't have done that."

Haley frowned. This wasn't going how she planned. Standing up, she took a few steps closer to him, her body heating as his eyes racked over her. "You didn't want to see me?" She pouted, her bottom lip dramatically protruding.

Gulping he cut his eyes to the wall. "Don't you have a boyfriend waiting on you?"

She sighed and took another step closer to where she was now within reach of him. "If that's what you want…." She hedged, leaving it open for him.

"It's what you want." He gritted out, his eyes never leaving the wall.

"You are jealous." She blurted out, completely shocked he actually was. She may have suspected, but seeing him now cinched it and her heart started to race at the newfound knowledge.

It also gave her a confidence with him, she'd never known. He always had held the upper hand with her and now the tables were turned.

Her words got his attention and his heated gaze landed on her. "I'm not jealous." His voice sounded hollow to even his own ears and he groaned.

"Whatever you say." She smirked, her finger coming out to seductively trail down his glistening bare chest.

The electricity between them was palpable and honestly, it had always been that way between them. No one ever understood how they could have instantly hated each other all those years ago, but the truth was passion is passion, no matter which outlet it chooses to use.

He bit back a loud moan when her finger hooked his towel. "I'm not jealous." He gruffly repeated, his voice dripping with lust.

Haley triumphantly watched his eyes darken. "Well then I guess I'll go find Chase."

He grabbed her wrist and wrenched her hand from his towel. "Tell me you're not fucking him."

His words were harsh, yet his tone almost pleading. For a second Haley's veneer wavered and compassion shined in her eyes. She knew he was probably only jealous in the way a boy can't stand another boy playing with his toy, but a tiny part of her wondered if maybe he actually did care for her. She had been quick to dismiss it earlier, but with Damien's confessions, she couldn't find a way to rationalize it away.

"I'm not." She swore and when blue met brown, he knew her body was solely his.

His hand released her and she dropped to her knees, taking his towel down with her. Never breaking eye contact, she took his already rock hard member slowly in her hot mouth and his hands threaded through her hair, holding her to him.

When she took him all the way in her sweet wet mouth, Nathan's head fell back and he fought not to shove himself even further and choke her, but god damn it felt so good.

Haley felt her center ache at the sound of Nathan's moans. Coming back up his shaft, her tongue danced around his opening before she shoved him hard back down her throat repeating her actions until he practically yanking her hair from its roots.

"Fuck…yes." He groaned, as her mouth flew up and down him, relentlessly sucking and licking. She was hands down the fucking queen of blow jobs, hell she was the fucking the queen of all things sex. Damn, if every single time he was with her, he didn't still question who had actually been the virgin before they hooked up.

Not wanting to wait to finish him off, after all they didn't have much time and needed him to, she took him out of her mouth and before he could even form a coherent thought as to what she was doing, she turned around and got on all fours, wiggling her bare ass at him as a clear invitation.

He was on his knees and inside her in the blink of an eye, her screams unstoppable.

"God damn, James." Nathan breathed out at being inside her, grabbing her ass tight as he began to fuck her from behind.

They heard a noise and froze. Someone was listening from the other room. Actually, more then one, given the multiple sounds of harsh guy whispers and fumbling from the other side of the door Nathan and Damien shared. Yep, they definitely had an audience.

Nathan just grinned and leaned down, slinking his hands under his jersey she so enticingly wore, and grabbed her luscious mounds while his lips hovered by her ear. "You like it, don't you?" He started to move again within her.

Surprisingly she did. The thought of other people listening to them, filled her with an odd surge of pride. She felt sexy, wanted and most of alive.

"They all want to fuck you." Nathan murmured, picking up his pace even more. The thought of all the guys wanting what was his, stroked his ego and sent an animalistic charge through him.

She reached back and grabbed hold of his hair, tugging hard. "Only you." She whispered back, knowing exactly what he wanted to here.

He brutally shoved himself deep into her, her words obviously having the desired effect.

Her free hand came down to grip her stomach as pain ripped through her. Sometimes it felt like he was hitting her ribcage, but it was an exquisite pain, one that she didn't think was possible for her to ever give up.

Clenching her muscles around him, she removed her hand from his dark locks and placed it with the other gripping the carpet. She needed all the support she could get or his merciless pounding would send her hurling across the floor.

Nathan slid in and out at a rapid place, removing his hold on her chest to sit up and grab hold of her hips, holding her exactly where he needed her.

Haley's heart threatened to leap out of her chest. The sensations tearing through her were so intense she wondered if she'd ever be able to breathe again, but when his lips slid hotly up her spine, she blissfully succumbed, her screams of passion filling the room—hoots and hollers on the other side of the wall joining her.

Her screams were his cue and with one hard long thrust—he burst—every last drop spilling into her quivering body.

He knew she had gotten on the pill a few weeks back, but when he would think back later on what transpired between them, he would realize that nothing would have stopped him from being with her, not even the prospect of a child. And that would shake his very foundation.

After all, nothing ever threatened his dream of the NBA, and that one realization, that one epiphany would prove to him that something already had and that something was Haley James.

_**Present Day**_

Ten excruciating hours later, Haley was out of surgery and in critical condition in the hospital's intensive care unit, where she would remain for at least the next forty-eight hours under constant supervision.

The good news was that there appeared to be no permanent neurological damage and through a coiling procedure, that had been perfected over the last ten years, they were able to eliminate the aneurysm all together. There would be no threat of the complication reoccurring.

But she wasn't out of the woods yet, not by a long shot. She was still in a coma of her body's own volition and with the swelling that occurred from the ruptured aneurysm, the concern was evident that she may never come out. The next twenty four hours would bring the greatest hope, after that it could be days, weeks, months, years.

Nathan took a seat beside her and intertwined their fingers. He smiled gently, tightening his grip on her hand, where abrasions had one prevented him from doing so. They had pretty much all healed and that gave him hope the rest of her was healing as well.

Taking a deep breath, he spoke to her. "God, I miss you. I miss you so much Hales."

He never believed in love or soul mates, thought it was complete bullshit actually. Nonetheless, Haley had changed all that. Big bad Nathan Scott had only one love, one priority. Basketball, his family, everything would forever take a backseat to his love for her.

It was almost surreal how fiercely he loved this girl, but he couldn't deny it. He couldn't even remember life before her and didn't even want to. It was futile because nothing could ever compare to life with her.

He's made a mistake letting her walk away and he'd never make that mistake again. She owned him, owned his heart, his soul, and his body. His life was with her and only her and if she just woke up, he'd never let her forget it.

"Nathan?"

Nathan cut his eyes to his brother, but never let go of Haley's hand. "Can we do this later?"

Lucas sighed and went to Haley's side, opposite Nathan and gazed down at her. "You know when Peyton first told me, I didn't want to believe it, I couldn't believe it, and even when I was forced to, I didn't trust you, didn't think you could ever love Haley the way she deserved. It had to be on sick joke you were playing on her or something."

Staying silent, Nathan turned back to Haley. He couldn't blame his brother. No one deserved her.

"But I forgot it was Haley we're talking about. You were probably a goner from day one." He smirked and knew his brother was as well, even though both their eyes never left Haley. "I was angry at first, and I'm still in shock, I won't lie, but when I walked in here just now and saw the way you are with her I knew the rest didn't matter. I don't know what's going to happen, and I can't even begin to contemplate the fallout from all this," He let out a shaky breath, "but I'll help you both anyway I can."

Nathan's shocked eyes, left Haley, and found his brother's. "Are you serious?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Lucas fought to block out the future reactions of Brooke and Chase. "You're my brother and she's my best friend. How can I not support what you both want? It's as simple as that."

As the last words left Lucas's lips, Haley's monitors began to rapidly beep and in the blink of an eye, two nurses flew to her side, pushing the brother's away.

"What the hell is going? What's wrong?" Nathan's panicked voice rushed out.

"Sir, please step back." A doctor demanded as he pushed past Nathan and manually opened Haley's lids, shining light into her eyes.

"Miss James, can you hear us?" The doctor asked, causing both Scotts to share a confused look.

A curtain was drawn and Nathan and Lucas were literally shut out. A nurse came out a minute later and Nathan grabbed her arm. "What's wrong with her?"

She brushed a few wisps of her short blonde hair out of her face and smiled at them both. "She's waking up."

* * *

Cath


	7. The Shade Of Poison Trees

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, another chapter. You will notice a definite theme in this-Dashboard Confessional. I kind of went overboard. LOL You can even find 4 to 5 DC song titles in used as random dialogue. That being said this chapter is dedicated to the amazing girls on the FF music thread. hugs

There is alot of foreshadowing in this chapter. It is chapter is really setting up the transition into the major arc of this story, so I hope you guys enjoy it.

A big thanks to my yankee muse. I would still be obsessed about this if it wasn't for you. Hehe. And as always, thank you to Christina, for being an awesome beta and my resident LP approval girl. :)

Now go read, I can't wait to see what you think!

**Chapter Seven "The Shade of Poison Trees"**

"_Dress your wounds  
Test your strength  
Face the night  
_

_Crave the touch  
Feel the pain  
Know the signs  
_

_Is there truth in your pain?  
You decide. _

If you knew what I know,  
Would you try?

Is there time?  
Is there time to follow just one desire?  
Is there time?  
Is there time to follow your heart?

As we lie in the shade of poison trees  
Are we as safe as we like ourselves believe?" 

_**Dashboard Confessional**_

_**September 10**__**th**__**, 2006**_

"Hmmm, what was that, our fourth shower of the day?" Haley mused as she slid her squeaky clean naked body between Nathan's sheets, him following her lead and slipping in behind her.

Pulling her body back against his slightly damp chest, he nuzzled her neck. "Mmm, not my fault you keep getting us dirty."

She swatted at his arms that were wrapped tightly around her waist, "You're the one that brought out the whip cream." She giggled when she felt him smile against her neck.

"And you're the one who pulled out the ice cream."

"You didn't enjoy it?"

Turning her around, he answered her with a deep, hungry kiss that left them both ready for round six.

"I guess you did enjoy it." She murmured, running a finger down his cheek, relishing in the feel of him harden against her thigh.

_''Damn he had missed her.'_

"I have something for you." He suddenly proclaimed, as if a light bulb had just gone off. He had wanted to give it to her before they started going at it, but after not seeing her for three months, pausing to give a gift wasn't happening.

She cast her eyes downward at his obvious arousal. "I can see that."

"It's all about sex with you, James." He smirked and squeezed her ass before leaning over her to open his nightstand, retrieving a narrow rectangular box—blue velvet with a white satin bow.

Somewhat shyly, he handed it over to her, "Happy Birthday."

She raised a flawless shaped eyebrow, "My birthday was two months ago."

Shrugging he undid the satin ribbon and motioned for her to open it. "I know, but being at High Flyers all summer, I obviously missed it. Just open it." He lightly groaned, annoyed at having to wait for her reaction. This definitely wasn't his thing.

Eagerly, she did as he said, the hinges of the elegant box providing just enough tantalizing resistance to amplify her anticipation.

Staring in disbelief, Haley gingerly removed the white gold charm bracelet, holding it up to make sure her eyes weren't deceiving her. The elegance of the bracelet itself really wasn't what was taking her breath away, it was the charms, he'd obviously selected with her in mind.

First was a four leaf clover. During one of their late night phone calls, while he'd been away, she'd confessed that she'd spent countless hours of her childhood on her hands and knees in her giant back yard in the hopes of finding one and always came up empty.

Next was an acoustic guitar, which she attributed to when he found out she played after sneaking through her open window and finding her belting out a Beatles tune. She'd been so embarrassed, especially when he told her he'd never been more turned on.

A seashell was third, reminding her of their stolen weekends at his family's beach house.

Second to last, was an apple, and she felt tears welling in her eyes. Last semester during his finals, they'd pulled all nighters getting him ready. It had been difficult keeping him focused on the books instead of her chest, he'd even resorted to only calling her Miss James in his signature sarcastic tone. But when she'd woken up the next morning, she'd found an apple next to her pillow and a note that simply said thank you. It had all been worth it.

Last, but certainly not least was a basketball because of course always had to mark his territory.

This was, hands down, the greatest gift she'd ever received.

Blinking away her tears, she held it out for him to do the honors. "I love it and I…" _Crap, what was she doing?_

She didn't love him, she couldn't. I mean he didn't love her, even if she secretly craved for this gift to be an expression of love. No, he was just being sweet, very sweet. They'd grown to care for each other and that was really all she could expect from him. The lines we're still drawn as they were before; he couldn't give her what she needed and she couldn't give up her world.

Once he secured the bracelet on her tiny wrist, he gave her a smirk. "Don't say I never gave you anything."

'_God, he was making it harder and harder to rationalize.'_

With a matching smirk, she pushed him onto his back and straddled his wait. "Guess, I should give you something too." Her seductive voice teased while exquisitely rubbing her center up and down him, his eyes falling shut at her ministrations.

Before they could both fall back into ecstasy, though, Damien came barreling in, not hiding his amusement at finding a butt ass naked Haley ready to impel herself on his boy Scott.

"Can you fucking knock?" Nathan bitched as he pushed Haley off him and quickly covered her from Damien's leering gaze with his back.

Damien tapped at his chin. "Hmm, I could, but then I wouldn't get the chance to see the, 'oh so fine she should be mine', Haley James." He winked to her over Nathan.

Throwing on one of Nathan's discarded t-shirts, Haley just rolled her eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here anyway?" Nathan eyed him, getting his attention away from Haley.

Laughing Damien pointed to his practice jersey. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe seeing why the hell you missed the annual 'kiss ass' practice. You know the one where all the alumni come with their big checkbooks and praise Coach K, the one that he promises to make our grandchildren suffer for if we miss. But I can see you were obviously _doing_ better things."

"FUCK!" Nathan blew out, jumping out of bed, his bare ass Damien's cue to get the hell out. He was all about seeing Haley naked, but sure as hell not Nathan.

Once Damien was gone, Haley pulled her legs up to her chest and watched Nathan scramble around for his clothes. "Where are you going?"

Looking at her like, she was a complete idiot he continued getting dressed. "Where the fuck, do you think I'm going? To fucking grovel and probably run a billion suicides. Fuck, I knew letting you come up this weekend was a fucking mistake."

"Excuse me?" Haley leapt out the bed, clearly pissed off now. "We hadn't seen each other for two months and correct me if I'm wrong, you asked me to come."

"I should have known better. You're nothing but a fucking distraction," He bit out, grabbing his practice bag and his keys.

Her mouth flew open in shock and she couldn't stop herself from dropping her eyes to her bracelet. Jekyll and Hyde.

"You know what Nathan? First off, your use of 'fuck' that many times in one minute is ridiculous, and second, go to hell. I can't believe you are blaming me for this. It's just a game."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth she instantly regretted them, especially when he'd bolted out a second later.

She wasn't stupid enough to really think it was just a game to him—it was his life.

He lived and breathed basketball and she'd just put it in the same category as playing jacks on the sidewalk. But it still didn't give him any right to treat her like complete shit, as if she'd purposely meant for him to miss his practice. She was always nothing but supportive of his hectic schedule. She'd spent a miserable summer with only the phone to keep her connected to him.

Fighting back tears, she put her hair in a ponytail, slipped on some shorts, grabbed her suitcase and headed to the only place she could go…Peyton's.

**…**

"You look hot." Haley approved, taking in Peyton's black skinny jeans and tight champagne halter top.

Peyton did a little spin, "Thanks. Here's hoping Chris will spot me in the crowd and whisks me away on tour with him."

"Damn, if only." Haley herself began to drool over the thought of Chris Carrabba's dark eyes locking with hers.

"Back off." Peyton teased, "If I recall, you're in love with an egotistical jock, so I get the fine musicians."

With a grunt of disgust, Haley smoothed down her silk silver tank. "Didn't we agree not to mention him?"

"I could have been talking about Chase. Funny how your mind went to Nathan." Peyton wisely said, slapping Haley's dark jean clad butt, as she passed by to get the tickets off the dresser.

Bending down, Haley took her metallic round toe Steve Madden high heels, a gift from her parents, out of her bag. Technically, the gift was money, but to make herself feel better she liked to tell herself they actually took the time to pick out a birthday present.

"Peyton, the 'L' word coming out your mouth is all kinds of frightening," Haley played off the comment.

Giving her a break, Peyton laughed. "True. I'm a firm believer that word should be banished from the English language."

Haley observed her friend take a few moments to situate her curls and couldn't help but find sadness in her comments. She knew Peyton had dearly loved Jake and she prayed that one day Peyton would find someone to make her believe in love again. She deserved it, she deserved to fall in love, get married, and have two point five kids. Even if from the outside no one ever thought Peyton would want that life, Haley knew better.

Peyton dreamed of a real family, much like Haley herself.

It still amazed her, how much she and Peyton truly had in common. Over the last few months, they'd grown very close. Attending every concert that came within a hundred miles, spending countless hours searching through vintage shops whether for clothing or music, it didn't matter, and simply lying on the floor of Peyton's apartment listening to old favorites and new discoveries.

It was getting so Haley wasn't just lying to her friends about Nathan, but Peyton as well. It wasn't that she didn't want to acknowledge Peyton to them, but in a way, she didn't want to have to explain her friendship or have it tainted. Her world with Nathan, Peyton and hell even Damien, whom she'd come to adore, was separate from her world with Brooke, Lucas and Chase and she liked it that way. Though, it was growing increasingly difficult to keep up with her lies.

Every second of every day, she was battling to remain on the balance beam that had become her life. One day she would tumble, though, and could only hope someone was left to catch her fall.

**…**

Swaying to the hypnotic lyrics of Dashboard at the outdoor concert, Haley didn't even notice the tall dark and handsome guy locking in on her and heading her way.

She and Peyton had opted for a spot a little away from the crowd on a hill, wanting to see everything as well as hear it. They'd even tossed their heels and spread out a blanket to enjoy the show in utter comfort. Of course after an awe inspiring rendition of _'Screaming Infidelities'_ they'd jumped to their feet screaming like the pathetic fan girls they were when it came to this group and four songs later they were still on their feet.

Peyton caught sight of the guy and simply smiled; glad she'd left him a ticket outside her door. She knew he'd show.

Oblivious, Haley raised her arms, feeling the music take over her.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. It may sound stalkerish, but some of his favorite times were watching her when she thought no one was. The soft smile when she slept, the way a song seemed to always escape her lips when was getting dressed, her eyes lighting up as she read something she loved in a book. She was hypnotic in every little thing she did.

Taking a chance, he snuck up behind her and slid his arms around her waist, praying she didn't elbow him in the gut. "I'm sorry." He whispered in her ear.

Automatically, melting back in his arms, she tilted her head back to meet his eyes. "You seem to say that a lot."

"Doesn't mean I'm not." He told her seriously and she stood on her toes and kissed his lips sweetly. When they parted, they both were smiling.

He'd been an asshole and instantly regretted it as soon as he slammed the door. Yes, she was a distraction, but that was his cross to bear not hers and missing one practice wasn't worth losing her.

Turning in his embrace, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I can't believe you came."

"Bullshit. You know all I do is _cum_ when you're involved." He huskily taunted her, relishing in the blush spreading across her cheeks.

Peyton gave them a disgusted look. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but Haley's cheeks were cherry red and she figured they were a hair away from going at it on her blanket. "You guys have that look." She warned, poking Haley in the arm, garnering her attention.

Murmuring a quick apology, Haley lost herself in Nathan once again. And with her head falling against his chest and her body moving with his, she surrendered to the truth that she couldn't fall in love with him, for the sole reason she already had.

_**Present Day**_

Brooke held on tightly to Haley's hand waiting for her to wake up again. When she had awoken the first time, she'd been so disoriented and agitated that they swiftly knocked her out, so to speak. She was out of her coma, though, and that was a miracle. Speaking to Haley could wait, all that mattered was they had her back.

Still, Brooke was growing impatient. Only one person was allowed in at once and Brooke had been battling for slots with everyone, including Nathan of all people. She was starting to think he had a thing for Haley. Maybe it was just the hero seeking out his damsel; maybe it was more. Whatever it was she was going to make damn sure Lucas put a stop to it.

Staring at Haley, Brooke felt the sharp hint of new tears. She'd come so close to losing her best friend—her sister. She didn't know where she'd be without Haley. Scratch that she did know, she'd be on the road to becoming her mother. She would have married for money, had friends that smiled as they stabbed her in the back and a daughter that held nothing but resentment for her.

In short, she would have been doomed to an empty life.

"Mmm," Haley mumbled as she began to stir and Brooke couldn't hold back the squeal of joy.

"Oh, Haley, it's me. Come on, wake up." She pleaded, now standing and running a hand up and down Haley's arm.

Heavily medicated, Haley couldn't even begin to comprehend Brooke's words or even that is was Brooke speaking to her.

"Where are you?" Haley hoarsely whispered, confusing Brooke.

"Hales, it's me Brooke. I'm right here sweetie."

That didn't seem to settle Haley, who was growing restless, shaking her head, and mumbling no. "Shh, go back to sleep." Brooke attempted to soothe, realizing she was probably having a nightmare.

"Nathan, Nathan…NATHAN!" Haley jolted up screaming; signaling two nurses to dash to her aid and inject a sedative into her IV.

"You need to leave." The blonde one ordered as she guided a shell shocked Brooke out of the ICU.

As the ICU doors slammed shut behind her, Brooke still hadn't said a word. Usually she'd have gone head to head with that bitch of a nurse, but not today, not after Haley screamed Nathan's name.

_Why would she scream his name? Was she having flashbacks to the accident?_ But that didn't make sense because she was unconscious before Nathan even got to her.

This wasn't right. But what had been right ever since Haley's accident? The last few weeks had been one confusing gut wrenching blur.

Forcing herself towards the waiting room, she longed for Lucas to be there waiting. He would know what to do. Like always, he would help make sense of everything.

But when she entered the waiting room, the sight of Lucas did anything but ease her confusion. In fact, it downright pissed her off.

"GET THE HELL OFF HIM!" Brooke screeched towards Peyton, who had her arms wrapped around Lucas in a tight embrace.

The blondes jumped back from each other and stared at Brooke, unsure of what to do or say.

Finding his voice, Lucas approached Brooke. "This isn't what it looks like."

Brooke glared at him, her face growing hot, her body shaking. "Are you sleeping with her?"

"What? Brooke no." Lucas shook his head to emphasize his point. "She just got here and was happy about Haley. It was just a hug."

Setting her focus on Peyton, Brooke stepped closer to her, hands squarely on her hips. "Why the hell do you keep showing up anyway? Are you after Lucas? Because I swear to God I will rip ever fake blonde curl from your head if your whore ass doesn't back the hell off!"

Peyton laughed, clearly not afraid. "I'm here for Haley, and I would think you should trust Lucas more than that."

"Don't you dare act like you know a thing about _my_ relationship with _my_ boyfriend. I don't know what kind of pathetic obsession you have with Haley or Lucas, but it stops now."

Nathan walked into the room, not sure what was going on till Brooke aimed her verbal assault at him.

"And you can get the hell out with her. I mean, what is this? You and Peyton want to have some weird threesome with Haley. You two really need therapy."

Peyton rolled her eyes, but Nathan couldn't just ignore it.

"Back the hell off bitch." Nathan warned, feeling his brother's panicked eyes on him.

"Fuck you Nathan. I don't know what the hell is going here, but I want you and this bitch gone." She motioned towards Peyton.

Lucas stepped in front of Brooke. "Stop it."

"Are you defending them? Don't you think this is creepy Luke? Haley is your best friend too."

"I know she is and she wouldn't want this fighting just leave it alone." He begged, which only served to anger Brooke more.

"I'm going to find Chase and when I get back I want them gone, I mean it Luke, or I'm calling security." And with that, she stormed away, leaving Lucas no time to object.

At a loss, Lucas collapsed into a nearby chair, his head in his hands.

Sitting down beside him, Peyton tried to help. "I'm sorry Luke. I know this isn't easy. I'm going to get out of here. "She looked up at Nathan, "Call me if anything changes."

"No." Lucas raised his head to face her. "This isn't about Brooke. This isn't about any of us. This is only about Haley. And I'm going to do what she couldn't, what she can't right now, tell the truth."

"Lucas, Haley would never want you to be in the middle, she wouldn't want this." Nathan objected, fearing Haley would awaken to complete devastation and take a turn for the worse.

Again, Lucas looked to Peyton, flashing back to when she'd taken a chance and told him the truth. She'd put herself on the line to protect Nathan and Haley, to give them the freedom she knew they couldn't give themselves.

Now it was his turn to step up to the plate, to make up for not being there for Haley when she needed him the most. He was risking his relationship with Brooke and his friendship with Chase, but he had to do this. If it couldn't come from Haley, it had to come from him and only him.

"Haley needs this Nathan, and so do you. There is no going back. I don't know what will happen with the two of you after all this, but I do know I will not stand by and watch her live a lie any longer." He swore; a swirl of emotions coursing through him, however, his devotion and need to protect Haley would always prevail.

Peyton watched him walk away, maybe a bit too intently, but she couldn't help it. She was discovering layers she never knew existed with Lucas. That had also been the case with Haley and she secretly hoped that maybe now that her friendship with Haley was about to be exposed, it would allow her to form one with him as well.

He had an amazing heart much like his brother. They were actually more alike than they let the world believe. Haley was incredibly lucky to have two brothers that loved her so fiercely and their love for her would only unite them more, it already had.

**…**

"She was just administered another round of sedation, she won't wake up for a good while," The nurse quietly informed Lucas as she added a few notes in Haley's chart.

"It's all right. I just need to be with her for a few minutes."

The nurse smiled sweetly and slipped Haley's chart back at the foot of her bed. "If you need anything let me know."

Sitting on the edge of Haley's bed, Lucas felt a lump form in his throat and swallowed it down. He missed her so much and almost losing her had helped him comprehend how important she was to him. He'd do anything for her happiness.

He knew some people questioned if he and Haley had ever been romantic. There were even rumors that stilled filled their high school halls, which always made him and Haley laugh and cringe a little. Not that he didn't think she was beautiful, inside and out, he simply never saw her in that light, save a few teenage hormone induced dreams.

They used to joke they were twins in a former life and it saddened him beyond belief that with a connection like theirs he never saw her pain. Although, maybe his own demons prevented him and somehow he knew she understood that.

He understood hers as well, it was the reason he had instantly forgiven her for hiding so much from him. It was time to make things right, though, and he'd be by her side every step of the way.

Stroking her cheek, with the back of his hand, he let out a long sigh. "It's all going to be ok now, Hales. I promise you."

In his mind, he could see her smiling at his declaration and that gave him courage. Something he so desperately needed as he was about to break two hearts in one swift blow.

* * *

Cath 


	8. Nothing Else Matters

**Author's Note:** Hey you wonderful reviewers! Finally I'm done with this chapter and I hope it pays off in your eyes. This is a HUGE chapter and I've said that before but this time I don't think anything I have had previously can top it. ;) In this chapter you will see phrases and actions that remind you of the show and I love doing that in my stories because their moments on the show are such perfection and made them who they are that I can't pass up adding those similarities to my stories.

Now this chapter begins the much longer second half. And as I said, I'm doing something in here that I don't think any of you expect for this story, at least now. The idea itself isn't original, but I hope the way I went about it in this story is, at least enough to shock you guys.

A big thanks to my Yankee who listened to me rant endlessly over this chapter. LOL Even when I called her at 7 am obsessing. Hehe. I also want to thank Susan for giving me her seal of approval and the lovely Hana as well.

And last but certainly not least Christina for being an awesome beta and telling me she loves this chapter even with the lack of LP. Haha.

Now go read because I'm dying to know what you all think. crosses fingers .

Oh and this has sexual content so please proceed with caution. ;)

**Chapter Eight "Nothing Else Matters"**

_Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say  
And nothing else matters _

Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us something new  
Open mind for a different view  
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do  
Never cared for what they know  
But I know

_So close no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
No nothing else matters_

_**Metallica**_

_**December 24**__**th**__**, 2006**_

After making her way down her spiraling staircase, Haley couldn't stop herself from taking a detour into the living room of her home, where a dazzling Christmas tree glowed with the help of hundreds of tiny white lights and gold themed ornaments.

Beautiful yet deeply unsettling was the only way to describe it.

Every time her eyes found it, all she saw were the broken promises of her parents and the designers setting up the hollow decorations, not a single one holding on ounce of family tradition.

When she was little, she'd run home with her homemade decorations, ones that most parents would treasure for a lifetime, and her mother would simply inform her they didn't match her vision, as she packed her bags for yet another trip.

Haley never understood why her mother even cared about a 'theme' when neither of her parents were ever home during the holidays, save a random Christmas morning here and there. She used to make herself sick crying and begging them to stay, but they would remind her of all the lives they were saving and that she was merely being selfish.

'_Selfish little girls grow up to lead selfish little lives'_

Those were her mother's exact words and at seventeen, Haley was finally seeing the destruction that phrase caused her. Living her life for everyone else was a lonely existence. It was the reason that even with friends she loved surrounding her, she would still find herself staring blankly at this tree every year, wondering if her selfless choices would ever allow her to find happiness.

Something was different this year, though. When she gazed at the tree she still felt the same emptiness, but she didn't miss her parents at all anymore. She could honestly care less if they called or even showed up, which she knew they wouldn't. She almost felt sorry for them to an extent. For all their devotion to their craft, their personal lives had all but disintegrated and even as a teenager Haley was starting to see that was no way to live the only life you have on this earth.

And she liked to think it was a personal growth and maybe to an extent it was, but one person had truly made her happier than she'd ever been this Christmas and that person was Nathan.

She'd been selfish for the first time in her life when she'd let him into her world and while the guilt was overwhelming most days; the joy he gave her always surpassed it.

The night before, she'd submerged herself into a vat of guilt, but the excitement of telling Nathan what she'd done didn't let her drown.

"Thinking about me?"

Haley whipped around to find Nathan in his signature jeans and polo shirt, this time red, smirking straight at her and with a high pitched squeal, she ran and leapt into his arms, wrapping her tiny legs around his waist.

"I've missed you," She beamed, peppering his face with kisses. She wasn't expecting him for at least another few hours—this was the best surprise.

"I can see that," He laughed before setting his own lips into motion and catching hers for a smoldering kiss, leaving her limp in his arms. It had taken everything in him when he caught sight of her in nothing but blue cotton boy shorts and teeny tiny tank top not to throw her down under that tree, but watching her lost in thought was something he couldn't resist, not ever.

When they parted, a firm pout had replaced her smile, "I really hate when you have tournaments."

Kissing her pout first, he walked them over to the couch and sat down with her, her legs untangling just enough to straddle him comfortably.

"For the first time in my life, I am too." He sighed, their foreheads pressing together as they traded small tender kisses

It was the truth, the longer he knew her, the more intense his need to be with her at all times had become. Being away from her, even for a weekend killed him.

Over the last few months, they'd spent at least every other night together, whether at Duke, his family's beach house, or her place. She now had a key to all his locations and vice versa, something he'd shocked himself in requesting.

Nonetheless, he shouldn't have really been surprised. With Haley, he was finding himself surrendering to his emotions more and more, his previous player tendencies be damned.

"Present time!" Haley cheered, pulling away from him much to his protest.

"Where are you going?" He now pouted, while she wiggled out of his lap.

Giving him a coy smile, she went to the tree, bypassing the fake prop gifts, the only ones left since she Brooke, Chase, and Lucas had their celebration a few days before, and found the blue foiled wrapped box she'd placed there last week.

"I got it!" She held it up, turning to see his lust filled eyes locked on her ass. "Get your mind out of the gutter." She wagged a finger at him.

He chuckled, "You were the one down on your knees, shaking your ass."

Hopping up, she planted _said_ ass back in lap, giggling when she felt his obvious arousal pressing into her. "You are _not_ playing fair."

Pushing his pelvis up and holding her down by her hips, he had her moaning and dropping the gift down beside him.

Licking a trail up her neck, he swirled his tongue at the base of her ear, "I play to win." His lust filled words vibrated against her skin.

"No…." Haley whimpered, trying to fight her way out of haze of hormones, but when he began to suck and nip erotically on her pulse point, she was a goner.

Grabbing his neck, she forced his lips to hers and devoured them, their tongues beginning a delicious battle in a single heartbeat.

Moving his hands up from her hips, he slid them underneath her thin cotton tank, letting his fingertips dance across her smooth taut stomach, igniting every inch of skin he touched.

She moaned into his mouth, grinding down hard on his jean covered erection, the friction making her wet with anticipation.

Forgetting there was a gift beside them, Nathan rose up just enough to lie her down on her back, only to have her yelp in pain.

"Real smooth, Scott." Haley teased, grabbing the gift from beneath her back and tossing it on his lap.

"Damn, so close." He groaned, admitting defeat. Taking a long white envelope from his back pocket, he handed it to her.

Sitting Indian style facing him, she gave him a curious look, "This better not be money." She warned, her charm bracelet, which never left her wrist, jingling as she held up his gift eyeing it intently.

"All right smart ass, no gift for you." He attempted to snatch it back, but she was too quick, hiding it behind her.

Giggling, she pushed him away. "No, no I'll be good, I promise. Can I open it, please?"

"Only if you promise to be bad later." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, her cheeks automatically burning, driving him insane.

"Deal." She winked, tearing open the envelope and pulling out what looked to be two plane tickets, both made out in her name. "I don't get it." She looked up at him.

Taking them from her hand, he opened the first one, "This is a ticket to Houston, where our post Christmas tournament is being held and this, "He opened the second, "Is your ticket to Cancun for New Year's. Damien's family has a house there and a bunch of the guys are going. I thought it'd be fun if you came, we wouldn't have to sneak around either."

She didn't know how she'd get away with being gone an entire week from Brooke, but God help her she didn't give a damn.

Throwing her arms around Nathan's neck, Haley locked eyes with him. "Are you sure you want me there? I mean, I know how big these tournaments are and I know Cancun has a million half naked girls that would give anything to take body shots off you and…"

He stopped her rambling with a slow tantalizing kiss, his hands coming up to cup her cheeks, holding her in place when his lips left hers. "I want you there Hales."

For all his faults, Haley could honestly say he'd never lied to her and gazing in his eyes, she knew this was no exception. "Ok." She smiled. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me now; thank me by wearing something easy access to every club Damien drags us to."

"You can count on it." Haley purred against his lips, but backed up before he could kiss her again, forcing him to release her face.

"Now open yours." She shyly instructed, nervous about her gift, wondering if she'd crossed a line.

Tearing open the wrapping, he found a plain white box and lifted the lid, only to find tissue paper covering whatever lay within. Pulling out, what felt like a picture frame, the paper fell away revealing it indeed was a dark cheery wood one and the picture it held sucked the breath right out of him.

"How?" He murmured, still not quite believing what lay before him. It was a black and white photo of his mother in a white cotton sundress, smiling, and staring down at her large pregnant stomach, her hands cradling it.

"I know you have a few photos of your mother growing up from your late grandparents and the prom one your father gave you, but I thought maybe by chance I could find one you hadn't seen. I remembered your mother was a cheerleader and that Whitey's wife Camilla was the coach back then, so Whitey let me spend an entire Saturday in his attic going through Camilla's memorabilia. Of course, at first he thought it was for a random project, but after finding me crying holding this picture I think he may have caught on." Haley laughed gently while Nathan couldn't take his eyes off the photo.

"Anyway, it turns out your mother and Camilla, were very close and this was from a little shower Camilla had thrown for Karen. I knew you had to have it. It's a picture of the two of you, sort of," She added apprehensively, "and she looks so happy."

"She does." Nathan softly agreed, trying to keep his emotions in check. "I knew she didn't plan me, but…" He couldn't finish.

Haley snuggled into his side and pointed to the photo. "That's a mother who can't wait to meet her child. She may not have planned you Nathan, but she clearly loved you."

Nathan's eyes finally left his mother and found Haley's. "No one has ever done anything like this for me before."

"That can't be true." Haley attempted to shrug it off, his intense gaze, setting her nerves on edge.

Placing the photo down on the coffee table, Nathan stood and took her hand, tugging her up next to him.

Silently, he led her up the winding iron staircase and into her bedroom. Once they were near the bed, he simply stared at her for a long moment before pulling her into an earth shattering kiss.

Breathless, Nathan broke the kiss, then swept Haley up in his arms and softly placed her on the bed—kicking off his shoes and crawling on top of her a second later.

Haley was too alarmed to speak, as Nathan placed hot open mouthed kisses along the tops of her breasts. They'd had sex already over a hundred times, sometimes rough, sometimes not so rough, but it never started out like this, not even close.

It was even more intense than usual, which was odd, as her usual definition of intense was when he was pounding into her against a wall, but his eyes kept finding hers, as if he was afraid she'd disappear.

Somewhere in her thoughts, her shirt had found the floor, allowing Nathan's lips to find her breasts. Moaning, she ran her fingers through his thick dark locks, holding him to her chest.

His teeth grazed her erect nipple, before greedily sucking it.

After paying equal attention to each heaving mound, he licked, sucked, and kissed a path down her flat stomach, his thumbs coming up to hook under her tiny shorts, pulling them slowly down her silky legs.

Throwing them off the side of the bed, his kissed his way back up her right leg, paying extra attention as he moved up her quivering thigh.

His hands kneaded her breasts as his mouth inched closer to her core. His touches were almost loving yet incredibly erotic—she was ready to explode.

Pressing one hand to her belly, he held her still, placing a teasing kiss to her before his tongue dove into her dripping slit, the sweet, intoxicating taste of her, giving him more pleasure than he could ever hope to give her.

With each lick, she shuddered and begged for more and when he brought his tongue up to flick against her bundle of nerves, her desperate pleas became uncontrollable cries.

Knowing his own control was waning thin, he closed his mouth around where his tongue had just teased and sucked with the right amount of pressure to set her ablaze.

And it worked.

Jerking upward and burying his head into her, Haley screamed his name—colors exploding beneath her lids.

He didn't waste a second lapping up her juices, reaching down to undo his pants at the same time.

Haley licked her lips, her hips swirling as she rode out the last waves of her orgasm.

"Look at me." He roughly demanded; his first rough move of the night. Lazily her lids opened and she smiled, when she noticed he'd stripped off his own clothes and positioned himself above her, his long, wide, straight erection beginning to tease her folds.

She reached down to grab it, but he intercepted her hand and raised it above her head, threading their fingers. "Don't."

Drowning in pleasure, she merely nodded in response, gasping when he kissed her passionately, plunging himself into her at the same time, every inch filling her completely.

Their mouths were one with their bodies the entire time. It had never been like this. Every time she attempted to turn them over or take her lips away just to kiss another part of him, he'd force her mouth back to his.

He was devouring her, all of her and it set her very soul on fire.

His pace was growing more frantic and her hips bucked up to meet his as their kisses grew more frenzied, the metallic taste of each other's blood growing more intense.

Haley blissfully accepted every thrust, every shot of electricity he sent soaring through her writhing body.

Nathan felt his sac tighten and knew he it was almost time. He needed her with him, though…always with him.

Shifting slightly, her legs encircled him even higher and he palmed her breast. "C'mon Baby." His urged against her lips before capturing them once again while he drove into her.

Clutching his back with her nails, Haley's walls uncontrollably clenched and she bit down hard on Nathan's lower lip as the staggering pressure that had been building inside her erupted into a million mind blowing pieces that filled her entire body.

As always, the sight and feel of her succumbing did him in and he emptied himself within her, her pelvis pushing up wanting every bit of him inside her.

Coming down, his kisses, in turn, slowed down until he placed one last adoring peck on her swollen lips and leaned his forehead against hers.

"What was that?" Haley's winded voice questioned in awe, her hands running down his biceps.

He gave her a gorgeous grin, "I think that's what they call making love."

She didn't hide her shock, "love?"

Rolling off her, to his side, he pulled her with him so that they were facing, their legs automatically intertwining.

Running the back of his hand down the curves of her side, he let his grin fall only to let her know that what he was about to say was nothing he took lightly. "This scares the hell out of me and I know I don't deserve you, but I'm in love with you Haley.

And he was, truly madly, deeply. He never expected it, never wanted it, but looking back, he knew he's been even before their first night together. Only then, his pride and fears would never let him admit it. Even tonight, he never expected to profess his feelings, but like always, she did something that made him fall even harder and this time he couldn't deny it any longer.

It was ironic, in the beginning, he'd only wanted her body, and in the end, he couldn't live without her heart.

"Wow." Haley whispered, astonished, but it didn't take long for the elation to fill her and her own gorgeous grin to spread across her face. "God, I love you too." She gushed with a beautiful laugh before launching her body at him, knocking him on his back, their smiling lips meeting as she laid her body out on top of his.

"That means no other boyfriends," Nathan halted their make out session, to make the new lines clear.

She frowned for a moment, but then a soft smile graced her lips. "I broke up with him last night."

Nathan chuckled, as she laid her head on his chest and traced imaginary circles above his heart. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, over the phone. I was listening to him go on and on over something I still can't remember and I blurted it out. Funny thing was it was almost as if he was expecting it. He didn't fight it at all."

It had truly shocked her, how well Chase had taken it, especially given the last attempt at breaking his heart. And possibly, if she wasn't head over heels in love with another she may have taken the time to question it, but the fact was she'd worried about others for too long and whether it was right or wrong this was her time to shine.

Nathan kissed the top of her head, "I can't say I'm not happy, but I know that wasn't easy for you."

Her eyes were sparkling when she lifted her head to answer. "This is worth it. I know it."

She knew she should have felt some sadness; maybe even a twinge of regret, but being wrapped in Nathan's arms, all she felt was overwhelming love.

And nothing else mattered.

**_Present Time_**

Brooke didn't go find Chase, instead she did something that had become a daily ritual, sat in her car and cried.

She'd barely slept or eaten in the last few weeks and not even the joy of Haley waking up was calming her nerves.

There were moments in life when you could literally feel darkness enveloping you and at first Brooke had naturally contributed it to Haley's accident, but since Haley had awakened the darkness had grown even stronger, leaving Brooke to fear her life was about to change and never be the same.

Times like these, were when Brooke needed Haley the most.

She knew she had overreacted in the waiting room, made a full of herself even, but she was hanging on by a thread and each day that passed she felt more and more like she was on the outside looking in.

Rationally, she knew nothing was going on with Peyton and Lucas or that Peyton had even done anything, but Brooke had never been a think before you speak kind of girl and while a lot of times people respected her for it, nine times out of ten it only made the situation worse.

Nonetheless, there was an actual reason she and Peyton had never gotten along, though Peyton surely never knew why Brooke hated her so much. Not that she would ever tell her. Admitting it out loud wasn't an option.

'_How can you live in the land of denial, when everyone knows your secrets?_'

Three years ago, she'd strolled into the Scott house late one night hoping to spend some quality alone time with Lucas, when she found him in his bed, holding a clearly drunk Peyton, bawling in his arms, something Peyton probably didn't even remember.

Peyton had lost Jake the week before and while Brooke's heart broke for her, it also broke for an entirely different reason—Lucas.

Lucas had always possessed a bit of a knight and shining armor complex, but this was different and she knew him well enough to know.

The way he ran his hands through her hair, whispered soft words, and worst of all never let his eyes leave her, told Brooke all she needed.

He liked Peyton, felt a connection with her, one that if they ever had the chance to explore would surely bring romantic feelings to the surface.

Brooke had stumbled out of his doorway, thankfully unnoticed, and after getting very drunk herself, made a pact with her heart that her mind had been playing tricks on her and to forget everything.

It had worked, for the most part, Brooke was the queen of denial after all, but anytime she caught a glimpse of Peyton or let herself notice a far away look in Lucas's eyes she was thrust back to that awful night and if Peyton was in striking distance, the claws came out.

Peyton wasn't to blame, though, she knew that, but it didn't stop Brooke from resenting her.

And now it seemed Peyton was invading another part of her life, an even more sacred part, her relationship with Haley. Again, it was stupid to think Peyton could replace her in Haley's heart, but the realization that obviously Peyton and Haley had formed some sort of friendship she knew nothing about was like a sucker punch to the gut.

From the outside, Brooke appeared to have it all, perfect boyfriend, amazing best friend, beauty, popularity, but like many girls on the top, her insecurities reigned supreme. Her friends and Lucas were all she had in the world and without them, she was met with the frightening reality she would be nothing.

Being alone had always been Brooke's greatest fear. It was the one thing that had united her and Haley from the start. But as the years went on Haley had grown more independent and Brooke had done the opposite.

Over the last year, it had peaked, particularly with Haley becoming MIA on a regular basis, not even answering her phone calls half the time.

Then there were the break ups with Chase and their group of four had unraveled before her eyes. For months, Haley and Chase couldn't even be in the same room, leaving even less time Brooke got to see her best friend, especially with Chase leaning on her, nursing his broken heart.

But then things had finally started to look up again, a month or so before her accident, Haley and Chase had reunited and the four of them had renewed their college plans. Everything was on track again and now, Brooke wondered if they ever really had been.

Checking her watch, she debated on finding Chase or Lucas first. She needed to apologize to Lucas and maybe Peyton if she was still there, though she knew it would take everything in her to make it sound sincere. She figured she owed Nathan, one as well, but she was still wary of him.

She was more convinced than ever, Nathan had a thing for Haley. After all, he'd harassed her since they were little and Brooke wasn't stupid enough not to acknowledge that's a classic sign of venting sexual tension.

She wondered if Haley ever felt the same and she prayed Haley's rants over Nathan were nothing more than annoyance and her outburst earlier was simply a bad dream.

Nevertheless, if Nathan wanted Haley, Brooke knew he would stop at nothing to get her and that terrified her. Nathan Scott only viewed girls as means to get off and always threw them away as soon as he did just that.

Brooke couldn't sit by and watch Haley fall for that. Haley deserved someone that loved and worshipped her, as Chase had for over eight years. She didn't deserve to be seduced by the classic bad boy and have him destroy her, the way Nathan Scott surely would.

Maybe after she apologized to Lucas they could finally sit down and talk about Nathan.

With a deep breath and dab of concealer under her eyes, Brooke exited the car. Her steps were unsure, but she had to make things right, she'd find Chase later.

…

Despite Nathan's protests, Peyton had decided to head out the back way and go home. She didn't want any more confrontations with Brooke nor did she want to cause Lucas any unneeded stress. He was going to have enough on his plate, once he unveiled the truth.

Pushing through a back door, a fine mist of rain sprayed her face as a hot damp wind surrounded her.

Taking in the dark clouds above, straining with the weight of unshed water, Peyton couldn't shake the ominous mood that apparently rolled in with them.

"Peyton?" A good looking guy with spikey hair questioned and it took her a few moments to comprehend it was actually Chase Adams speaking to her.

"Uh, yeah. Chase, right?" She gave him a small smile, surprised it took her so long to recognize him. Of course, the few times she had met him years ago, he was donning a buzz cut along with Lucas.

He nodded and stuck his hands in his pocket, "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, I have some studying to do." She lied.

"I'll walk you to your car,"

Riffling through her purse, she dug out her keys, "No, I'll be fine. I know you want to get back to Haley."

Truth was, he did, but he needed answers and when he saw Peyton step into his line of sight, he knew she was the one that could give them to him.

"It's dark and it's about to start pouring, just humor me and let me feel useful."

Her objections were stalled by his bashful smile. She now had a taste of why it was it was so hard for Haley to walk away from him. His dimples and baby face oozed innocence. Breaking his, heart would definitely feel like kicking a defenseless puppy.

About halfway to her car, Chase finally got the nerve to speak. "Do you think she jumped?"

Peyton froze, her keys falling from her hands. "Wha…what?"

Chase scrambled to pick up her keys, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just sprung that on you," He apologized, handing back her keys.

"It's ok, but why would you even ask that and ask me of all people?"

He didn't meet her eyes, "I've known Haley for over eight years and I've been in love with her just as long, but I didn't know about you Peyton. If I didn't see that, what else didn't I see?"

Peyton leaned back against a random silver truck, "Chase, its true Haley and I are friends and I can't even begin to imagine how hard all this has been for you."

"No you can't." Chase blurted out, somewhat bitterly, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." He rushed out; ashamed of letting his insecurities get the best of him.

She waved a dismissive hand. "Don't apologize, and no, I don't think she jumped."

Searching for relief in his eyes, Peyton found none. In fact, she saw nothing in his eyes, for the first time since their awkward meeting began.

"I love her Peyton, I do." He professed, only increasing the awkwardness Peyton felt.

"You don't have to tell me that." She explained and began to walk to her car again, wanting to get as far away from this situation as possible.

He kept in step with her, "I think I do. You're close to her and I want you to know how much I care for her."

Finally, they reached her car and she turned to face him before getting in. "I know you love her, I can see it. But I think you should be in there telling her and not me."

Ignoring her statement, he continued, "Did she ever talk about me?"

"Chase, I can't talk to you about this…"

"But you're her friend," He objected.

She opened her car door, "Yes, I'm her friend and I'm telling you as her friend, that you need to talk to her."

Chase brought his hands up and ran them through his hair and that's when Peyton saw it. A leather band across his wrist, a band that she knew she'd seen before, but couldn't place it for the life of her.

"You're right." He finally blew out. Listen, be careful, and just forget I said anything."

Giving him a reassuring nod, she got in her car and drove away, not missing him staring after her in her rearview mirror.

Good vs. Bad, would be an accurate description if you lined up Chase and Nathan. But nothing was ever that black and white. And while Nathan had always worn his sins on his sleeve, so to speak, guys like Chase carefully tucked theirs away, making it virtually impossible for anyone to see them.

Now, she didn't know if Chase had anything to hide and she clearly saw the love he held for Haley, but after her talk with him, she was starting to wonder if he was really as perfect as he appeared to be.

Nevertheless, his world was about to come crashing down around him. Whatever hidden truths he may or may not have really didn't matter at this time.

Right now, Haley's were the ones that needed to unfold.

…

Her eye's fluttered open, adjusting to the faint glow of fluorescent lights above her.

There was a searing pain in her head, but she fought past it, attempting to gather her surroundings. She was in a hospital, she knew that, but she had no idea how long she had been.

She felt something holding her arm down and turning her head slightly she found Nathan's head was the culprit.

He looked horribly uncomfortable and yet she didn't dare wake him, especially when she looked further down and saw their fingers were intertwined.

Shifting to her side, she brought her free hand up to run through his thick raven hair.

He was truly beautiful, though, she knew he would hate her calling him that.

Staring at him, she'd almost forgotten where she was, that is until she felt the hot tears streaming down her cheeks. The pain in her head was almost unbearable, but that wasn't why she was crying.

Emerging from her subconscious were terror filled flashes. She saw herself falling into darkness, her arms reaching out for an imaginary savior, and then nothing, absolutely nothing.

'_God, what had happened to her?'_

"Nathan?" She kept running her fingers through his hair.

She needed him.

Stirring at her voice, Nathan slowly lifted his head and all the fear that had just entered her body vanished at the sight of that gorgeous grin spreading across his face, the same grin he'd dazzled her with the first night they'd said 'I love you.' She never saw him smile like that with anyone else but her.

"Hi." She choked out, her lips curving upward.

A soft emotion filled laugh escaped his throat. "Hi."

Reaching up, he caressed her cheek and their eyes locked.

She wasn't sure exactly how bad her accident had been, but one thing she clearly remembered before she blacked out was both her lives flashing before her eyes and the one with Nathan was the only she knew she couldn't lose.

Letting a few more tears escape, Haley said the words Nathan had been longing to here for over three months and well before her accident. "I love you Nathan…I'm so sorry."

"Shh Baby, I'm sorry too. I should have protected you Haley." He rushed to add. "God, I can't believe you're really here." He caressed her cheek, almost as if he was making sure she was real.

"It's okay," She tried to reassure.

He swallowed a lump in his throat. He had to get this out. "No it's not okay. None of this is okay; the last two years have not been okay."

Confusion set in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Haley, I promised myself if you just woke up that I'd tell you how much I need you, and how much I want you, that nothing else matters."

"Nathan…I"

He shook his head, letting her know he needed to go on. "I promised myself I would say all those things to you and now that I have, they aren't enough. I can't live without you Haley, and it scares the hell out of me, but I can't. I can't go back to before, I can't.

Squeezing his hand, she whispered, "Nathan, what are you saying?"

"Marry me Haley, marry me tonight." His words were strong, not a hint of doubt.

She took a small moment, not to think it over, but to absorb the gravity of what was occurring. Never in her life had she been so all consumed by one person. She read countless books and watched hundreds of movies regarding love, but not a single one came close to describing her love for this boy.

And the most amazing thing was that she knew without a doubt in her mind he felt the exact same way. This kind of love was one in a million and waking up to see him lying next to her had been all the push she ever needed.

She was young she knew that and at twenty so was he, but their relationship had never been normal, so why should it start now.

They would love each other forever, there wasn't a doubt in her mind.

"Yes, Nathan. Let's get married." She beamed as his own smiling lips came up to crash against hers.

Tearing her lips away, Haley's attention detail got the best of her. "I have to talk to Brooke first. I can't do this without her knowing. And did you really mean tonight? Nathan, I'm in a hospital bed. How, when, where…"

He smirked, "Have a little faith, Hales."

Faith had never been big with her, but somehow Nathan asking it of her was all it took for her to believe in something more.

"Anything you say, fiancé."

"You only get to call me that for a few more hours so enjoy it while you can."

She tilted her head, considering his statement, and then smiled. "Husband is going to sound so much better anyway."

"Not as good as wife." He softly countered, pulling her in for her last kiss as Haley James.

And Haley couldn't argue with that. The thought of being Nathan's wife, having him call her that already had her glowing.

This was right, this was more than right. Everything else in her life had been so well thought out, so planned and still she had never felt comfortable in her own skin. Always felt she was leading someone else's life.

Nathan made her brave, made her seek out paths she never would have without him, paths that _she_ wanted to take.

Loving him didn't require any thinking, it was as natural to her as breathing and in marrying him she knew she'd found someone who would help her live out her dreams for the rest of her life.

Haley James Scott was who she was born to be and life was too short to wait even one more day to start her new life, a life she chose all on her own.

The only drawback is that in their haste, they were blinded to the collateral damage their union would surely cause.

Neither could ever foresee the immense backlash that was upon them, nor did they see the devastated brunette watching the latest chapter of their love story unfold before her. A chapter to a story she never knew existed and in a million years never expected.

* * *

Cath 


	9. Next Contestant

**Author's Note:** I can't begin to apologize for the delay on all my stories, but the fog has lifted and now I have time to focus on writing again and hopefully delivering some worth the wait chapters to all of you.

I get alot of questions on if I'm continuing stories or where I'm posting them, so I just want to clear a couple things up. I will always post my stories here and on the Rivercourt. Now instead of filling up chapters with author's note galore to keep people updated on what I'm working on and when I'll post, I have a LJ now(that I have been ignoring but finally getting back to it). If you have LJ and want to be added just leave me a comment. My LJ name is catc20.

On the LJ I'll answer any questions and post alot of info on what I'm working on. But I'll never stop posting my stories here, so never fear.

Ok, so onto the story. Finally after changing it a zillion times, it's done. Thanks to the amazing Hana for beta-ing and giving me her seal. She had the unfortunate luck of being on at 5 am(my time) when I wanted this chapter out of my sight and hands before I changed it again. Hehe

This chapter is longer than normal because there was just so much I needed to cover. After this chapter, there are only two flashbacks left. One that will be in the next chapter and one that won't happen until alot later since it holds so many secrets.

Alot goes down in this chapter, but some stuff I just couldn't fit, like Chase in present. The present will be BIG next chapter so he will have his say before the wedding bells.

Hope you enjoy!!

This is dedicated to Jess who I have to make another bet with so we'll both start writing our asses off. Nothing drives us to write more than amazing readers like y'all and good old fashioned North vs. South competition.

**Chapter Nine "Next Contestant"**

_I judge by what she's wearing  
Just how many heads I'm tearing  
Off of assholes coming onto her  
(Each night seems like it's getting worse)_

And each time she bats an eyelash  
Somebody's grabbing her ass  
Everyone keeps coming onto her  
(This time somebody's gettin' hurt)

Here comes the next contestant  
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)  
And I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)  
And I wish you'd do it again (each night seems like it's getting worse)  
And I wish you'd do it again (this time somebody's gettin' hurt)  
There goes the next contestant

_**Nickelback**_

_**February 24**__**th**__**, 2007**_

"Why are we going here again?" Nathan twined his arm around Haley's waist as Peyton led them into one the local college bars where live music was a weekly occurrence and where she'd been working for the past two months.

Haley ruefully shook her head. "For the millionth time, everyone likes this place but you."

"Whatever. I don't see why we couldn't just stay in."

Peyton looked back at that. "Maybe because you've been hogging Haley every since you two fell in looooooooooove," she teased, sticking her tongue out for good measure.

"Don't poke the bear Peyton," Haley warned, earning herself a dirty look from the bear himself.

The place was packed and Nathan was already wishing the night were over. He'd never liked crowds, even though his status had always forced him into them. But ever since he'd started things up with Haley, his life had seemed to slow down and he'd discovered he preferred it that way.

Because of the way they began, they were rarely ever seen in public and he'd become spoiled being hidden away with her all to himself. At those times, he didn't give a damn about ever seeing the light of day again.

Eyeing the bar, Peyton turned to the couple. "All right, you guys go find some booth to make out in. I'm going to order us some drinks."

"Tell Owen, hi," Haley yelled after Peyton.

Peyton just waved in acknowledgement as she took off to the bar.

Lifting up on her high heeled black boots, Haley placed a soft kiss just below Nathan's ear, "Want to find that booth?"

He didn't move, just stared down hard at her.

Her heels hit the floor and she moved to the front of him. "What's wrong?"

"Tell Owen, hi?" He repeated her words, irritation fueling his.

"Yeah hi, as in a greeting; as in the same thing I said to you to an hour ago," she blew off his comment with her trademark sarcasm.

"Exactly."

"Exactly what?" His irritation transferred to her.

"You say the same to me. So, why the fuck are you saying it to this prick?"

Scoffing, she shook her head. "Are you even listening to yourself?" This was truly ridiculous.

His jaw set as he caught sight of an older muscled prick smiling and following as Peyton pointed out Haley in the distance, apparently delivering Haley's message.

Haley turned to see what he was staring at before whipping back to him. "If you don't stop looking like you're going to kick his ass, I'm going to kick yours."

He gave her an odd look, but the fire in her eyes did kind of scare him. She may be tiny, but he did recall his brother coming home with a black eye at twelve, claiming Haley socked him for making Brooke cry.

"Fine, I'll back off, but you're going to tell me how much you've been seeing of this dick?"

"The hell I will. Who I hang out with in my spare time is none of your concern."

Fuck backing off now. "You're mine; everything you do is my business."

Her eyes widened. "You did not just say that!"

"You want me to repeat it?" he childishly snit out.

The fire was an all out inferno in those golden chocolate orbs of hers. "Peyton works here and what the hell do you expect me to do while your at practice? Lay on my ass counting the minutes till you return?"

"I don't fucking force you to come up."

"No, you don't. I come because I want to. I'm forced to practically go into hiding and lie to Brooke and Lucas every single day, so if I come here to find some solace in Peyton instead of staring at your trophies then I'll damn well do it."

Nathan felt like he was about to explode. "Fuck you Haley. You're the one that won't just fucking tell them. I don't give a shit."

"Of course you don't. You're Nathan fucking Scott, we should all just bow down to you. I actually care about hurting them. I'm making all the sacrifices."

Damien strolled up in the nick of time. "Whoa, you two. I'm all for any reason for angry sex, but let's just have some drinks. Might as well be drunk angry sex." He raised his eyebrows stepping in between the two and guiding Haley into a near by booth.

Taking a few quick breaths to cool off first, Nathan slid in on the other side of Haley.

Neither said a word as Peyton returned to the table with a pitcher of Mojitos in one hand and four stacked glasses in the other. "You're lucky I saw you Damien or you'd actually have to get off your own ass for once." She handed him a glass.

"Sawyer, you're too good to me, darling." He took the glass and began to fill it as well as the others.

Slipping in next to Damien, Peyton leaned in close to him, "What the hell is going on with those two." She threw a glance to Nathan and Haley who were staring down at their drinks

"Dickhead's jealous," he whispered none too lightly back and Peyton just shook her head.

This had worried her from the start. Nathan Scott had never been jealous a day in his life till Haley and he was paying his dues ten fold. Nathan didn't trust many people and letting Haley into not only his life but also his heart, where no one else had been was something she knew Nathan could never go back from.

He was a goner, but he also had a temper, which was where Peyton's worry lay. While he was so busy fighting anyone or anything that came between him and Haley, he wouldn't stop to think about Haley and how his actions affected her. He'd expect her to just fall behind and claim him her knight and shining armor and ultimately that thought process would lead him to fall on his own sword.

She had already broken up numerous fights Nathan had started with guys over Haley, mostly when she wasn't even there. If Nathan even heard a guy whisper about the hot piece of ass sneaking up to see him every weekend Nathan went for the juggler.

It wasn't pretty and neither was being Nathan's babysitter.

After a few drinks, the mood had somewhat lightened as Nathan and Haley were at least speaking, though still not to each other. A few other basketball players had joined them along with their dates and their group had soon taken up a corner of the bar.

Haley quickly scanned for any familiar faces and by familiar she meant faces that she could run into in Tree Hill and when she found none she finally stole a glance at Nathan who was having a fairly one sided conversation with one of his teammates.

Poor guy never stood a chance against one of Nathan's moods. It would take a lot more than the latest NCAA stats to draw him out.

Ever the peacemaker, Haley moved a bit closer to Nathan. Not close enough to where their bodies were touching but close enough to feel the sparks of anticipation.

Sensing the same electricity she did, Nathan hand crept over to her bare silky thigh, exposed by her short white denim skirt. She made the first step and he was more than willingly to meet her half way and then some.

A smile spread across her face at the contact and suddenly her night was a whole lot better and she scooted the final inch until her body was snug against his.

Abruptly ending his conversation with Zach, if you could even call it a conversation, Nathan's husky voice and lips found Haley's ear, "I love it when you wear skirts."

As much as they could and _did_ fight, the making up was always worth it. Sure, it could be seen as glossing over their issues, but at seventeen and nineteen, their hearts and hormones didn't stop to think.

Blushing, Haley bit her lip as Nathan's hand slid higher and more importantly in between her legs. Turning her head towards Nathan she tried to convey her weak objections, but his smirk told her all she needed, he wasn't stopping.

Uncontrollably, her nipples hardened and strained against her black halter top, much to Nathan's delight. Never in his life, had he ever gave a damn about a girl enjoying herself until her. He literally got off on bringing Haley pleasure. On days they weren't together, he'd relieve himself with images of their previous encounters, her screams urging him on even in his subconscious.

Every part of him was in love with her, emotionally and physically.

Feeling Nathan's fingers run up and down against the thing scrap of lace covering her rapidly moistening opening, Haley took a long drink of her Mojito, hoping the maneuver would hide the quick gasps escaping her lips.

Not being able to stop himself, Nathan slipped a finger beneath her now soaked panties and thrust deep inside her, a groan building deep in his throat at feeling her heated wetness surround him, wishing another part of his body were there instead.

Damien's caught sight of Haley's glassy eyes and flushed appearance and threw Nathan a wink before nudging Peyton, "I think they made up."

Rolling her eyes, Peyton grabbed Damien's hand. "Let's dance before they start having sex."

Laughing, he got out of the booth with her, just as Nathan and Haley began making out as if they'd hadn't seen each other in years.

In their own world, Haley tore her lips from Nathan's and held his head against her neck where he had moved his ministrations.

Two of his long skilled fingers were pumping in and out of her and she felt herself careening towards the point of no return, thrusting against his hand while her heavy breathing blew against his ear.

Grabbing his erection hard, she reveled in his moans, envisioning him taking her up against his car, a car that was so temptingly close by.

She'd always hated PDA, always berated others for it, and had never taken part in it. Nonetheless, with Nathan, she had obviously changed her views or more likely been forced by the unbelievably pleasure to change them.

Tomorrow she'd surely be embarrassed, but right now, she simply didn't give a damn, even if there were more than twenty people surrounding them. The group was used to them doing this anyway. They were quite possibly immune to it now.

"Nathan...you…have…to…stop." Haley begged in between gasps for air.

His lips found hers once again and he smiled against hers, "Dance with me."

She nodded, grateful for the reprieve. If they went on like this much longer, she wouldn't be able to hold back. Being quiet was an impossible feat when it came to being with Nathan.

Once on the dance floor, their bodies were as close as they could get without Nathan being inside her. Hands were everywhere and their mouths only parted when breathing became a necessity.

They were so enthralled, neither saw the random guy eyeing Haley from behind. That was until he brazenly came up and grabbed her ass as he strolled by.

Jerking away from Nathan and whipping her head around Haley shot the guy a disgusted look to which he just grinned like the creep he was.

Putting two and two together, Nathan's famous temper skyrocketed and in a flash, he had the guy by the throat and up against the bar.

In his rage, he didn't hear Haley's pleas for him to stop and soon the guy's friends had engaged Nathan in an all out brawl with Zach, Damien and other teammates rushing to Nathan's aid.

Minutes past and fists were still flying, Haley was screaming with tears running down her cheeks and Peyton was trying to calm her down, but that didn't last long as they were thrust into their own madness by three skanks out for blood.

_An hour later…_

"Damn, that's going to bruise," Peyton chuckled lightly touching around Haley's eye.

Wincing, Haley leaned against the concrete wall. "Well, your lip isn't looking much better," Haley, pointed to said busted lip.

"No worries," Peyton mustered a smile, "I'm just glad you stopped crying, Hun."

Placing her face in her hands first, Haley then met Peyton's eyes. "This was bad Peyton, really bad."

Shrugging, Peyton eyed a fifty something hooker smacking on her gum, "No that's bad, this is just a little adventure we can laugh about later. Besides we're definitely framing our mug shots."

Haley didn't laugh. "I meant Nathan more, but still my parents are going to flip. Crap, Peyton what am I going to do. I love him, but this is getting out of control."

"Nathan loves you Haley…"

"I know that. It's just I like control in my life and every since I met him, it feels like I have none. Sure, it's fun and amazing, but it's terrifying too and look where it landed me tonight." Her head fell back in her hands.

Peyton opened her mouth to respond, but found she had nothing to say that would help Haley. The silence didn't last long, though, as soon their cell was being opened by a portly woman officer and they were told the charges had been dropped.

After signing their release forms, Peyton and Haley were met with the cool night air and a worried Owen leaning against his truck. "Finally. Damn, are you two all right?" He came up to them and looked them over.

Waving a dismissive hand, Peyton went to open his passenger door. "We're fine, just a normal Saturday night for me."

Owen chuckled, "Sawyer, you may act like a bad ass, but I know you've never been here before or else I couldn't have been very convincing getting my boss and the cops to spring you."

"Thank you so much Owen," Haley let out weakly, exhaustion setting in.

Owen shifted a bit on his feet. "Um don't thank me too much. I couldn't get them dropped against Nathan. He'll be arraigned in the morning and I think his dad's on the way."

Haley sighed, but what could she do? "It's his own fault, Owen. Maybe it's my fault too, I don't know.

Ignoring Owen's worried look, Haley climbed in the backseat next to Peyton and then rested her head on the blonde's shoulder.

She loved Nathan fiercely, passionately, but maybe that wasn't healthy. Maybe you weren't meant to love something that much. When she looked at it objectively, all she saw was the pain their love had and could cause. She still hadn't come clean to her oldest friends about Nathan for fear of losing them and Nathan's jealousy had landed them both in jail.

Being together seemed to only benefit the two of them, when it was just the two of them. Anyone else that encountered them got hurt in some form, even if they weren't aware of it. That was the case with Chase, Brooke, and Lucas. They didn't know about their relationship, but it had hurt them nonetheless.

Haley barely saw any of them anymore; she was too wrapped up in Nathan. She lied to them on a daily basis with her excuses and as for Nathan, she knew what happened tonight would cause some major backlash with his other love, basketball. She had promised herself she'd always support his dreams and now she was getting in the way of them, even if she hadn't meant too.

Nothing made sense to her anymore and in the pit of her stomach, she feared nothing ever would with Nathan. That fear, even if it wasn't realistic, was a devastating blow to her heart.

…

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU HAVE DONE?" Dan's voice boomed through the car as he drove his son home from jail the next morning and to Duke's athletic center.

"No, I don't Dad, why don't you fill me in," Nathan sarcastically quipped, tired and annoyed of his father's shit already.

Dan shook his head in distain, "Your coach called already. You've been suspended for three games, the three games directly before March Madness. Do you realize what you've done to your team, to your image? ESPN has been running this shit all over the TV. You're a liability now to any future NBA team."

Nathan mumbled a childish whatever and Dan slammed the brakes jolting a seatbelt less Nathan forward. "What the fuck, Dad!"

"You better start taking this shit seriously. You could have lost a lot more last night all over some whore," Dan fumed.

"She's not a whore," Nathan gritted out, his blood pressure rising.

"I know who she is Nathan. You think the two of you have hid it so damn well, but you haven't. She's still in high school for Christ's sake and your brother's best friend. What the hell are you thinking?"

Not shocked his father knew, it was a well known fact Dan Scott had his spies at Duke; Nathan just shrugged, infuriating Dan all the more.

"This is your shot Nathan and you're blowing it. What if she gets knocked up? Have you even thought of that?"

"We wouldn't want her trapping me like mom did you now would we," Nathan snit.

Dan let out a shaky breath. "Don't you dare compare this slut to your mother."

Nathan wanted to laugh at that. It had only taken him a short while to figure out why Haley affected him so much, why she saw through him the way no one else did, she carried the same grace and heart his mother embodied all the days of her life. His late grandparents used to fill him with the most amazing stories of a stubborn firecracker that warmed even the coldest heart and that was Haley through and through.

"Are you going to say anything?" Dan spit out. "This is your future Nathan. We dreamed of this life. Are you willing to give up basketball for her? Because you're barely out of your sophomore year and the scouts could already be looking somewhere else because of her. Don't give up our dreams son, don't give up our future."

Dan's words had softened at the end, almost shocking Nathan. In that moment, a flood of childhood memories filled his head. His father had been hard on him, but at the same time, Nathan wouldn't trade those times for anything in the world. Until he was seven and expressed an interest in basketball, his father had avoided him at all costs and as always, Deb had treated him as the source of all her misery.

In hindsight, Nathan knew how hard being with him must have been for his father. He was a constant reminder of his mother and the void she had left. That couldn't be easy for anybody, but then basketball happened and his father had finally looked at him with something other than pain in his eyes…_pride_.

Suddenly, the world or more accurately Nathan's heart wasn't as black and white as he believed it was a mere minute ago. The weight of the world, the world he knew before Haley was now resting on his shoulders and the term sacrifice felt painfully appropriate.

…

Wanting nothing more than to soak in a long hot bath and sadly stare at her phone for his name to appear, Haley hugged Peyton goodbye and hopped out of her comet. She hoped Peyton could get back and sleep some before her shift, since god knows having her tossing and turning after their jail break hadn't allowed Peyton much.

Languidly, Haley made her way up her driveway that was lined with bright pink rose bushes.

She hated pink and these roses were probably the reason why. Pink was the color of appreciation and happiness, both of which she never felt here in this place she called home. She shouldn't even call it a home, it was more like dwelling she ate and slept in.

A home was where a mom and dad came home from work, played with their children, laughed over dinner, and yes sometimes even fought. Though, the fighting would always lead to making up and appreciating what made your house a home, even more.

She had almost reached the side gate when a shadow caught her eye and a hand came around from behind her and silenced any sounds she would have made.

Her panic soon subsided when the familiar voice whispered in her ear and revealed his identity with a simple 'It's me'.

Once his hand was gone, Haley twisted around, confusion written all over her face. "Chase what the hell?"

In spite of the weirdness of their current situation and the fact they hadn't spoken in weeks, he smiled at her, remembering her telling him one time it always made her safe.

"We don't have much time. Don't be mad, but your parents called me this morning looking for you. Your phones been off, no one knew where you were, so I covered for you. I came over to check on you and heard the message from the jail…" He paused to let her absorb the shock and noticed her confusion had switched to shame.

"Chase it's not what it sounds like…"

"It doesn't matter Haley, I erased the message and told your parents we went to my family's cabin. So, that's the reason I'm going all mission impossible on you. Your parents are inside waiting on you and I couldn't let you go into an ambush."

Haley was surprised to say the least. Here was this boy, whose heart she had broken, still defending her, even putting himself out to help her. She didn't deserve it, but that didn't stop her from appreciating it either. "I wish you'd let me explain."

His dimples worked their magic again and he took her hand. "You don't owe me anything. Just because we broke up doesn't mean I stopped loving you Haley. Anytime you need me, I'm here."

She squeezed his hand. "Thank you." She was glad he had stopped her because honestly if he'd let her explain she could never have found the words. Last night was still a blur to her and frankly, she was growing sick to death of all the lies and having to tell Chase another one just wasn't in her at that moment.

Attempting to lead her inside, Chase looked back perplexed when Haley hadn't moved. "You, ok?"

Her eyes fell. "They don't know we broke up Chase. It's just I never see them and telling them something like that over the phone when I know they actually liked you…well…I just suck, ok?"

Tugging on her hand, he got her feet moving. "I played your boyfriend for eight years. I think I can manage the role for one more afternoon."

She smiled at that. Chase may not have stolen her heart, but he sure had earned a place in it.

…

She still wore a smile on her face when she entered her room that night. Chase had covered for her beautifully and never asked a single question. Plus, her parents had actually been interested in her life tonight. They asked questions, laughed with her, shared stories of their own day to day with her. It felt normal; at least the type of normal Haley had always strived for with her parents.

Rationally, she knew it wouldn't last long, but on the rare occasions it happened, she held on tightly to every ounce of pleasure it brought it her.

Glancing quickly in the mirror she silently thanked the concealor gods for masking her bruise throughout the day.

He watched her quietly from his languid stance on her bed, hands behind his head, his comfortable appearance vastly contradicting the anger churning within. He loved her, he could never tell himself he didn't, but she was costing him too much and after witnessing Chase drop her off there was no denying what he had to do.

His mother had left him, even if not by choice, and he wasn't going to let anyone have the chance to leave him again.

Haley crossed her arms at her stomach and grabbed the edge of her shirt, smoothly lifting it over her head before tossing it haphazardly on the ground by her vanity.

Grabbing her phone off its cradle, she quickly dialed Nathan's cell phone. Tonight might have been a nice break from the madness of the night before, but as always Nathan was never far her away from her mind. He hadn't called her once while she was out and she was slowly starting to make her self crazy wondering why.

The ringing behind had her jumping out of her skin and sent her phone crashing to the floor. Twirling around, she came face to face with a smirking Nathan holding his cell phone up to her.

"No need to call, Baby."

Breathing a sigh of relief, she brought a hand to her still racing heart. "Jesus, you scared the hell out of me. Are you ok?" Her worry had won the battle over her anger. His behavior the night before was uncalled for, but that didn't vanquish the fact he had been in jail too and he had a lot more to lose than her.

For a second he faltered, letting himself get caught in those god damn hypnotic eyes of hers, wanting so bad to allow the comfort they held to overwhelm him as they had so many times before, but he couldn't do that, not anymore. "This is over, Haley. Cry, scream, whatever just leave me the hell alone."

She doubled back as if she'd been punched. "Wha…what? I'm the one that should be pissed."

He scoffed. "Peyton told me the charges against you were dropped. I'm the one that's been benched for three games and the charges against me aren't going away. This is on my fucking record, Haley."

"Are you kidding me? You're the asshole who went all caveman on me. Which, by the way, was anything but warranted, in case you were wondering?"

"Whatever," he shrugged, attempting to walk past her and out her door.

She grabbed his arm. "Nathan, stop this. What is going on?"

She couldn't touch him or he'd lose all resolve.

Jerking away from her harshly, he accidentally sent her spiraling backwards against her vanity, her back slamming against it with a sickening thud.

"Shit…Hales!" He fell to his knees beside her, as she slid to the floor in pain.

She winced, holding her back, as she struggled to stand in her god damn heels she hadn't had a chance to remove.

He jumped up to help her, "God, baby I would never hurt you."

'_What had he done? Who was he?'_

That was when she snapped and the reality of what he'd said only moments before sunk in. Even in her outrage, she knew he hadn't meant to physically hurt her and she had no doubt he ever would, but he was hurting her on an entirely different level, a level where bruises never fade and wounds never heal.

She had believed once he declared his love for her this hot and cold behavior would stop, that he would never turn his back on her. And now after all they'd fought through he had dismissed her just as he had the night she gave him her virginity.

Only this time she'd given something far more precious—her heart—and what hurt the most was that she didn't think she'd ever get it back. For the rest of her days, he'd haunt her and she could only hope she haunted him right back.

"No. You don't get to say that to me Nathan Scott." Her body was shaking with her words yet no tears came. She would not cry in front of him ever again. "I don't know what this is and I don't care…not anymore. I would have stood by you through anything, supported all your dreams, even if they didn't include me. I didn't care about your temper. I didn't care about your jealousy, even though it was slowly destroying us. I didn't care because I loved you and apparently that wasn't good enough for you."

This was supposed to be easy, but gazing at her broken face Nathan could barely find the strength to stand. "Ha…"

"Don't," she warned; her voice shattering what he thought he wanted and making him realize he had lost what he truly needed. Only she held the power to send him plummeting through a million different emotions in a single night and he already knew when he left her the only one that would remain was regret.

"I gave you everything…_everything_, Nathan and that wasn't good enough. I get that now, but I will never understand is how you could walk in and dismiss me like you just did." She halted, struggling to keep her emotions in check. "But you were right about one thing, it is over. I want you out of my room and out of my life forever."

The last thing the she left him with was the faint scent of magnolias as she flew past him into the bathroom. So many times, he'd breathed in that soft fragrance that clung to her supple skin as if it never wanted to be worn by anyone else. Every other girl wore pricey over powering perfumes that dulled his senses and sometimes literally made him sick, but not Haley, never Haley.

Everything about her was soft, beautiful, and utterly comforting. He'd never find that in anyone else and as he walked out her door, he realized he didn't even care to try.

Basketball would be his only legacy in life, the memories of what could have been fueling his drive until like before her, he was numb once again, and nothing could ever hurt him and more importantly, he could never hurt her.

_**Present…**_

"Miss James, I don't think I've seen anyone smile as brightly as you in this place." The young physical therapist quipped as he massaged her legs.

Sighing, Haley laid her head back against her pillows, "Well that does feel pretty incredible."

"You're lucky you weren't in that bed for longer or you'd be cursing me after one of our sessions.

Haley smiled again. "I'm incredibly lucky," she agreed, double meaning enveloping her statement.

Taking his hands from her legs, he picked up a chart and made a few notes. "Now you may think since you have full mobility that you're back to normal, but please remember your muscle tone took a beating being in that bed for so long. I have you for the next week, until they spring you, so we'll do some light exercises everyday, and you can go for walks around the grounds, as long as your other doctors permit it."

He clicked his pen and slipped it into a pocket of his teal scrubs, "Oh, and one more thing. I know I interrupted you and apparently your husband to be making plans, but even a change in your last name won't get you out of here any faster or allow you to disobey any medical orders."

She cocked her head to the side. "No offense, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind for a honeymoon anyway."

Laughing, he turned to leave, then paused at her door to face her once more. "I'll talk to the nurses, but I see no reason we can't at least move a cot in here for him. At the very least newlyweds should be able to fall asleep in the same room," he reasoned to her with a wink before parting.

Closing her eyes, with a smile still gracing her lips, she hoped to catch a few minutes of rest while it was quiet. She felt renewed, even after the torture her body had apparently been though, but she was still required to be on some pretty hefty pain medications for at least the next couple days and as much as she fought it, it usually always won the battle and had her nodding off in not time at all.

It had almost done just that again, until her door creaked open once more, causing her eyes to flutter open. "Brooke…"

Brooke allowed herself to spare a small smile at how well Haley looked. There was life flowing through her once again and that was something Brooke had been praying for, for so long.

But the smile quickly faded as the harsh reality of Haley's betrayal set in.

Her change in expression didn't go unnoticed by Haley, who felt the sting of what was to come. "Brooke, I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry."

Tears filled Brooke's eyes and she fought to blink them away. "No your not." She swallowed a sob threatening to escape. "You're in love with Nathan and he's in love with you. That's what you always wanted, right? So why are you sorry?"

Haley's own tears escaped, but she made no move to wipe them away. "I'm sorry I hurt you…you have to believe that."

Staring at Haley, Brooke felt that she was staring at a stranger and as if she'd flicked a switch, a sudden wave of grief hit her with unearthly amount of force, leaving a horrific knowledge in its wake.

Her Haley, the Haley she'd loved as a sister since they were little girls died at that pier. The hope she'd been clinging to for the last few weeks had been for nothing. She was gone and an imposter was in her place.

Haley leaned forward wanting to be closer to Brooke even if only by a few inches, as if somehow that would make a difference on what was actually going to happen.

"Brooke, please talk to me."

Mentally bracing herself, Brooke finally met Haley's begging eyes. "Now you want to talk? Well, too bad Haley. You know, I don't know what hurts worse, you going behind our backs for god knows how long or the fact that you didn't trust me enough to tell me."

The ice in her words sent chills down Haley's spine. This wasn't the Brooke she knew and this wasn't the reaction she'd expected.

No, the one she expected with the screaming, the sobs, the gut wrenching pleas to make it all go away would have held an unimaginable amount of pain, but they still would have held love, regardless of how broken it might have been.

Standing in front of her was the opposite of love and yet it wasn't hate as many would believe, it was indifference—the shattering result of a betrayal so deep that the only way to survive was too simply shut down. Letting nothing in, especially not a single fond memory. Remembering the good only added to the destruction of the bad and sometimes forgiveness was just too hard to give and at the same time too hard to ask for.

And that's what was happening between them, they both knew it. One was closing off her heart and the other was silently allowing it, her guilt and regret leaving her utterly hopeless and wanting better for her friend.

With a parting look of resolve, Brooke silently exited Haley's room and, by all accounts, her life. A friendship that started with laughter, comfort, and hours upon hours of endless talks ended with no more than a few distained filled sentences and weak hearted pleas.

_How could something so vital to them for all these years end with such a whimper? _

Maybe it was because for all they suddenly had lost it didn't taint the fact they had known each other for most of their lives and with that much history words were seldom necessary.

With one shared look you could confirm or deny anything, you could forgive and forget everything, but one thing that you couldn't change was the unspoken understanding that there was no going back

You can't deny what your eyes confirmed and you can't forgive when your heart refuses to give way, even when a part of you prays it will.

…

Lucas caught sight of Brooke heading for the hospital doors and ran to catch up with her.

He touched her shoulder once he was within reach. "Where are you going?"

Whirling around, Brooke faced him. "Did you know?"

For a second he froze, not sure, how he should answer. "Only for a little over a week," he admitted with an air of guilt.

Her response made contact with his cheek before he even saw it coming. "Fuck you, Lucas Scott."

She may have let Haley off easy, but with each step away from her former friend, her anger only grew and now the one person she thought she could still trust had been lying to her too.

Rubbing his cheek, Lucas tried to keep his own cool. "As soon as I found out Haley was rushed into surgery, I didn't have time to worry about filling you in when she was fighting for her life."

Her hand came up again, but this time he was too quick, grabbing her wrist hard.

She wrenched her hand back. "You chose her over me," she practically spit at him.

He sighed heavily. "This isn't about only you, Brooke. Jesus, did you even stop to think this threw me for a fucking loop too?"

God, what was she doing? This wasn't fair to him. He had been as betrayed just as she had. He needed her as much as she needed him.

"You're right," she suddenly softened. "Just take me home, please?"

He took her face in his hands, "I can't…not right now."

Bewildered, she tried once more. "Broody, you have to get me out of here…_now_. I'm barely holding on."

Staring into her tired eyes, he found himself doing what she had just accused him of moments before, choosing Haley over her and what truly frightened him was that it was the easiest decision he'd ever made—it should have been hardest.

Loving Brooke was just as easy, it had been for over eight years, but what wasn't easy was the prospect of living without his brother and Haley in his life.

Right now, he could live without love, but not without family.

"I'm sorry Brooke, Nathan needs me tonight." His hands slid down her cheeks, making way for two single tears to follow their lead.

Far too quickly, his hands were no longer touching her and he was watching the devastation play across her features.

"I don't want to lose you," he implored, somehow hoping she could see how difficult this was for him as well. She was asking him to give up his family and Haley was his family as much as Nathan was. He'd almost lost her once; he couldn't live through that again.

Though in the back of his mind, he wondered why after knowing Brooke just as long as Haley, he didn't consider her the same way and he knew on some level that was the real reason she was going to walk away.

"You already have," she whispered ever so softly, though the words she had chosen echoed far too loudly in both their heads.

He reached for her one last time, his body not quite catching up on the fact he was letting her go.

She backed away causing the sliding doors to open, revealing the dark rainy night poetically waiting for her.

Lucas stared after her for what felt like hours until his brother replaced Brooke in his line of sight.

Running hand through his wet hair, Nathan handed Lucas two purple velvet boxes. "I barely made it before they closed. I feel bad I don't have an engagement ring to give her."

"Huh?" Lucas finally spoke, still a bit dazed, then focused on the boxes and opened one, revealing a golden channel set band with a full circle of diamonds within. With a grin, he closed the box and slipped both in his pocket. He was best man after all. "It's perfect Nate. It's all she would ever want."

Relieved, Nathan finally took the time to question Lucas's odd behavior when he first walked in. "Is everything ok? Is Haley all right?"

"She's fine, don't worry, but please tell me you got a hold of Peyton." Haley needed Peyton by her side, especially since he now knew Brooke wouldn't be.

"Yeah she's on her way. Now all we have to do is track down a minister."

Lucas grinned. "Go spend some time Haley, I'll work on that and wait for Peyton."

"You sure you're ok?" Nathan asked once more, but he was already backing away towards the elevators, anxious to see Haley.

Waving his brother off, Lucas kept smiling even as the elevator doors closed. He had all the time in the world to wallow in his own misery, but the wedding of his brother to Haley would be an event he'd always carry with him and his sadness wasn't going to ruin a second of it.

Tonight was about new beginnings and a love so rare that it even gave his broken heart faith that real love could actually conquer all.

* * *

Cath


	10. Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, sorry again for the wait. As always life got in the way, but I really hope this chapter was worth the wait. This is a big chapter for NH and the first chapter that's solely present. I felt it was time to move fully into the present and future. We will visit the past once more, as we go back to the night of Haley's accident, but that won't be for awhile.

A big thanks to Lori for beta-ing and approving. Love ya girl! hugs

This is for all the readers who are done with finals and starting to enjoy their summer. Have a great break guys; you deserve it.

ETA: I've had a couple reviews displeased with how I'm handling Brooke and all I can say is be patient. Brooke is far from out of this story or Haley and Lucas's lives. Plus, Lucas is going to chose his brother over Brooke. That may tick some off, but Nathan is his brother and Haley is his best friend and that trumps Brooke right now. It doesn't mean he doesn't love her just that he can't give up his brother for her at this point, especially at 18. Plus, we'll see alot of guilt Lucas has with protecting Nathan because of their childhood and that will hopefully make it more clear why he couldn't choose Brooke over him and Haley. He's confused too and so is Brooke as we will see. We will get inside her head more too. So be patient there is usually a method to my madness. ;)

**Chapter Ten "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy"**

_All the fear has left me now  
I'm not frightened anymore  
Its my heart that pounds beneath my flesh  
Its my mouth that pushes out this breath_

Companion to our demons  
They will dance, and we will play  
With chairs, candles, and cloth  
Making darkness in the day  
It will be easy to look in or out  
Upstream or down without a thought

And if I shed a tear I wont cage it  
I wont fear love  
And if I feel a rage I wont deny it  
I wont fear love

_**Sarah McLachlan**_

"Knock, knock" Lucas announced, his voice attempting to be strong as he walked into Haley's room where Nathan was currently holding a somber Haley's hand.

She smiled sadly and Lucas knew she was on the verge of losing it again, her tear stained cheeks exposing her previous weakening.

"You mind if I steal her away for a few?" Lucas patted his brother on the back.

Nathan nodded and leaned over to kiss Haley's forehead, "Just think about it, ok?" He locked eyes with hers, but the uncertainty shining back at him gave him anything but hope that she'd be his wife by morning.

"Who would have thought when we met all those years ago; this is where we'd end up." Lucas mused, sitting down in the chair Nathan had just abandoned.

Cracking a small smile at that, Haley turned to him, "Me almost dying and marrying your brother?" Her smile faded, "Oh and did I mention breaking Brooke's heart."

"That makes two of us." Lucas solemnly admitted then bowed his head as images of the girl he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with overcame him.

"God, Luke, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault and don't say it's not because we both know it is."

Lifting his head, he met her glistening eyes, "Hales, honestly I don't think coming out with the truth earlier would have changed the results."

"Maybe not, but I wasn't just lying to myself these last two years, I was lying to each of you every single day. She's never going to forgive me Luke and I still can't believe you have."

He paused for a second, studying her, "Hales, I love Brooke and I know when I wake up tomorrow it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks that I lost her, but I can't turn my back on my family and you've been that to me long before you fell for my brother."

"So has Brooke." Haley quietly added, "We were all a family." Her voice cracked with emotion.

Leaning forward, Lucas took her hand and Haley was struck by how familiar it felt. Though it didn't send her body into overdrive like his brother's touch, it still gave her that same overwhelming sense of security.

"We still are Hales and I have to believe she'll come around. You have to do that too."

She squeezed his hand, "I don't know what to believe anymore. I just know I'm not proud of myself right now."

"We all fall short sometimes, what matters is what we do about it."

Her head began to ache again and she laid it back against the pillows, "It doesn't feel right for me to be so in love that my heart aches when others are in pain. It's too soon for me and Nathan, it's not right."

Lucas stood and sat on the edge of her bed, "It's never too soon to feel like that, Hales. You and Nathan have been hiding for far too long and it's your time. You can still be in love and worry about others. There's no rule against it, I promise."

"No there's not." A voice agreed from the doorway shocking them both.

Haley took a breath, "Chase."

Silently, Lucas gave Haley a wink and left the room sharing a regretful look with Chase as he passed him by. He wasn't sure where they would stand after the dust settled.

…

Spotting Luke emerge from the hallway Nathan shot up out of his chair and met him halfway. "What do you think?"

"You mean do I think you're getting married tonight?" Nathan gave him a get to the god damn point look that he knew all too well, "I think you are."

Nathan grinned, "She had me worried there."

Laughing, Lucas shook his head, "Man, I never thought I'd see you like this."

"Like what?"

"In love." He answered with a smirk, "but if you hurt her…"

A flash of regret swept over Nathan, "I've already hurt her enough."

Lucas nodded, "You both have a lot of demons, just make sure they don't get the best of you."

…

Chase stepped a little ways into her room, but kept his distance, "You look good, Haley."

Annoyance overcame her. "Don't Chase, don't be nice. Please yell at me, call me a slut, anything…just don't be nice."

He gave her a dimpled smile that didn't reach his eyes, "I'm just so glad you're alive, the rest…well the rest is killing me, but I don't think it's really sunk in yet, you know?" She did. "I just expect to wake up tomorrow to your voice on the phone telling me you'll change your mind again like you did before."

Her eyes floated over him, the boy she'd loved since she was just a girl, but looking at him now, it had never been clearer—they'd never been in love. She hoped he'd see that soon. "I won't, I'm sorry."

His face hardened as if reality was sinking in much faster than he expected, "You don't know that, Haley."

"I do, Chase and I think you do as well."

"You're throwing your life away. He's going to hurt you."

She gazed down at her fiddling hands, "Maybe, maybe not." Raising her head, she found courage she didn't even know was there, "but I'll never regret it."

…

"Wow, you went shopping at midnight?" Lucas casually joked as Peyton walked into the hallway with a few large bags in her hands.

Reaching him, she handed him a couple, "Well, a 24 hour Wal-mart was the best I could do. Where's Nathan?"

"Conning one of our Dad's mayoral lackeys to come down here with a marriage license."

Peyton shook her head, curls bouncing, "Only Nathan could pull this off."

Lucas simply smiled, still slightly amazed all this was really happening.

"Well, then I guess that leaves you to help me." Peyton winked, grabbing his arm with her now free left hand.

"Help you do what?" But he didn't know why he'd even asked, as she was already dragging him along.

They rounded a hallway and entered a courtyard, one they'd both found themselves drawn to at various times during Haley's stay. Four large magnolia trees created the points of the area with purple flowers and lilies planted around them.

The best part was a clear cobblestone walkway that led to a beautiful old fountain in which countless people had wished for their heart's desire.

It was a perfect spot, even for the couple that already had everything in each other.

"You ready?" Peyton opened a bag, missing the double meaning Lucas had taken from her words.

'_Was he ready for all this?' _

In many ways, Nathan and Haley's new beginning was his own. They were all saying goodbye to the lives they had before and embarking on the unknown. He wasn't going to lie and say he wasn't terrified for all of them, but life should never be about making the safe choices. The only drawback is sometimes what's safe could also be what's right and in figuring that out you could lose what you truly need.

Fate had always driven him, however, and right now he felt they were on the right course, even with his broken heart.

"You ok?" Peyton looked up from her bag when he hadn't answered her.

He stared at her for a moment, feeling comforted by her presence as he always had in the few and far between times they'd been alone. "Yeah…in time."

…

"Hales?" Nathan entered her private room, his grin falling when he found her bed empty.

The panic almost began to sink in when she appeared from the small bathroom. Her blonde waves were elegantly swept to the side with a single magnolia blossom tucked behind her ear giving the allusion it was keeping everything in place.

Her face alone had his heart racing, but as his eyes took in her attire he was sure he'd never breathe again.

Nervously she tugged down at his white dress shirt she'd chosen, her only other option being a green polka dot hospital gown. "It was the only thing white they'd let me wear. Peyton found it in your car. I look stupid, don't I?" He was silent, "Yeah, I know some bride I make. If you want to call this off—"

It was her turn, for her breath to be taken away, when his lips cut her off and her back was against the wall. The kiss seemed endless and his hands clutched her cheeks, holding her to him.

"You're so god damn beautiful, Hales," he murmured against her lips and she smiled against his.

Reluctantly, he backed away from her, but took her right hand in his and led her to a nearby chair, pulling her sideways into his lap when he sat down.

She let out a happy sigh and wrapped her arms around his neck, "You know it's against tradition for the groom to see the bride before the wedding."

His fingers danced along her smooth thighs, erupting soft giggles from her as she squirmed in his lap, "When have we ever been normal, baby," He reminded her and nuzzled her neck, inhaling her soft incredible scent. He could stay like this forever.

"I'm so sorry I made you worry earlier today, Nathan." Her own fingers began to trace the side of his face.

He met her remorseful gaze, "It would have killed me, but I would have waited if that's what you needed."

She stroked his cheek now, "I know, and that's why I love you." She brushed her nose against his, savoring their closeness before continuing, "I'd give anything to take away the pain I've caused, but I'm not going to feel guilty for this anymore. Everything else can wait, but not this…not us."

They kissed again and again…

"Ok, ew," Lucas girlish declared, his face twisted as if he was in pain. "I'm glad you two are happy, but I don't need to see it."

Haley rolled her eyes and tried to get off Nathan's lap, but he wouldn't let her. "Where are you going?" He held her tighter to him.

Lucas groaned, "God, you're whipped. You have the rest of your life with her, let her go and she'll meet you at the end of the aisle."

He ignored his brother and focused on his future wife, "Is that a promise?"

Her thumb brushed along his lower lip as the lose sleeve of his shirt fell even further down her arm, allowing him to see the bracelet he'd given her over a year ago glimmering on her wrist, "I'm not going anywhere…not anymore, I promise."

…

The stars twinkling above him began to fade with the hints of morning light as he waited for the rest of his life to begin.

Haley peaked through the stained glass windows that led to the courtyard. She felt Lucas behind her and she reached behind her for his hand.

He took it and squeezed it tightly, "You ready, Hales?"

She took a deep breath and spun around on her bare feet, their hands still locked, "Where did you guys find those lights in the trees and the rose petals making the aisle and my bouquet?" She brought her nose down to the cluster of magnolias tied with a white satin ribbon.

Lucas leaned over to smell them too before answering, "All Peyton and I highly doubt she obtained any of the flowers legally so that'll just be our secret," He smirked. "I better get down there with Nate."

"No." She stopped him, "Will you walk me down, Luke?"

Grinning, he pulled her in for a hug, closing his eyes as he held her close, "I thought you'd never ask."

The doors opened and still in her jeans Peyton couldn't help the bright smile that spread across her face at the look of utter bliss on her best friend's face when his bride came into view. She was his sole focus and all he'd ever see to his dying day, she believed that with all her cynical heart.

When they reached their destination, Lucas cleared his throat to get Nathan's attention, "I'm not giving her away, just letting you borrow her for the next sixty or seventy years."

Everyone shared a soft laugh and the best friends faced each other one last time before their lives truly changed forever. "I can never thank you enough," Haley kissed his cheek.

Emotions overtaking him, Lucas simply nodded back, kissing her hand before placing it into his brother's awaiting grasp.

The white haired minister smiled and began as dawn finally won the battle with the stars. "Today we have gathered in this place of natural beauty to be joyful, in celebration of the relationship of Nathan and Haley. By their commitment to marry each other, they are saying yes to love, yes to caring, yes to family. May the spirit of God–which is all around us–enter your bodies, fill your hearts, and bless your lives." He paused and looked to the groom, "Nathan would you like to begin with your vows?"

Not taking his eyes off Haley, Nathan nodded, reaching now for both Haley's hands as she passed her bouquet to Peyton. "Almost two years ago, we stood at my mother's grave and even with grief surrounding us that was the day, I knew I loved you and probably always had even if I couldn't admit it." His lopsided smile melted her heart,

"I know we're young and I know people are going to expect us to fail, but nobody understands the love I have for you because if they did, they would never doubt us. It's been two years since our worlds collided and today, when I look into your eyes, my love for you only grows. It's even stronger now. My love will never waver. And this I vow to you, today, and always and forever."

Eyes glistening, Haley barely heard the priest cue her own vows over the pounding in her heart. "Nathan, it's been said there's one word that will free us from the weight and pain of life. And that word is Love. And I believe that. That doesn't mean that it hasn't been hard or that it won't be. It just means that I found a _stillness_ and a _bravery_ in myself with you. You make me brave. And I will love you until the end of time. This I vow today."

Unconsciously, Lucas found himself staring at Peyton as words of everlasting love swirled around him. She looked unbelievably happy for what was taking place before her and there was a lightness to her he hadn't seen since Jake's death. It was as if hope had entered her world again and what surprised him was how satisfying it was for him to see that.

Taking his focus back to his brother, he was also struck by the passion in his brother. He'd waited for Nathan to ask him for help with his vows, but he never did and he was floored by what he'd written. Haley didn't just bring out the best in him; she brought out a vulnerability that no one else had ever encountered.

Whatever doubts that may have lingered about this union were overpowered by the love before him.

"The rings, please." The minister looked to the couple and Lucas and Peyton took their cues.

The minister smiled. "From the earliest times, the circle has been a symbol of completeness, a symbol of committed love. An unbroken and never ending circle that symbolizes a commitment of love that is never ending. As often as either of you looks at this symbol, I hope that you will be reminded of the commitment to love each other, which you have made today."

"Now place the rings on each other's fingers and repeat after me,_' With this ring I thee wed'_ "

Adoration shined in Nathan's eyes, "With this ring, I thee wed."

Haley's hand shook and a tear slipped down her cheek as the beautiful cool metal slid onto her finger. "I love it," She whispered to him and he kissed her finger that now held the ring she'd wear all the days of her life.

Taking his left hand, she slipped his matching ring on and beamed up at him once it was secure, "With this ring, I thee wed."

A brilliant smile of his own graced his features at the gesture of eternity. Never in a million year would he have imagined looking forward to growing old, but the thought of her being by his side was _everything_ to him now.

"In as much as you, Nathan and you Haley have consented together in the union of matrimony and you have pledged your faith each to the other in the presence of these witnesses, now by the authority vested in me by the State of North Carolina, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride."

And kiss they did. Before the minister could even finish his sentence, Nathan had taken his new bride by the waist and sealed their fates.

There was no going back; they were now man and wife and as the beautiful barefoot bride was swept up into her husband's arms and twirled around in celebration, not a single foreboding thought entered her mind.

Quickly, Peyton grabbed her camera and took photos of the couple lost in their own world while suddenly Lucas felt apprehension pull at his gut and he struggled to maintain his smile.

They had so much to look forward to, but at the same time so much to be frightened of when news finally broke. He truly had no idea what their parents and the community's reactions would be, but he had a feeling they were in for the battle of their lives and their love.

Cath


	11. In Our Bedroom After The War

**Author's Note: **Wow, it's been awhile. LOL Ok, so I had OYE almost done, but got inspired for this. When it strikes I just have to go where it takes me. I hope you all enjoy this. Warning there are some very adult situations, so proceed with caution when viewing. ;)

Also, like I always warn thinks aren't always as they seem and I'm not referring to NH in this chapter so if you pick up on something it's def not what you're expecting. Hehe.

This is dedicated to Jess, whom I had a BLAST with when she came to visit. We went to the spa, shopped, partied, drank way too much and spent our hangovers by the pool. :) I can't wait to come to NY in August and get into more trouble. Haha. Hopefully this chapter also inspires you to write because you're putting me to shame in lapses between updates. LOL So now I've pressured you and you have to write. :P

A big thanks to Lo for beta-ing and calming my nerves as always. Love ya girl!!

Now go read people and I really hope it was worth the wait. You guys are the best!!

**Chapter Eleven "In Our Bedroom After The War"**

_Wake up! Say good morning to that sleepy person lying next to you  
If there's no one there, then there's no one there, but at least the war is over  
It's us - yes, we're back again, here to see you through, 'til the days end  
And if the night comes, and the night will come, well at least the war is over_

_We won, or we think we did, when you went away, you were just a kid  
And if you lost it all, and you lost it, we will still be there when the war is over_

_Lift your head and look out the window  
Stay that way for the rest of the day and watch the time go  
Listen! The birds sing! Listen! The bells ring!  
All the living are dead, and the dead are all living  
The war is over and we are beginning..._

_Here it comes! Here comes the first day! Here it comes! Here comes the first day!  
It starts up in our bedroom after the war  
After the war! After the war..._

_**Stars**_

"Why are you here?" Haley questioned without meeting her mother's eyes as she put her brush in her bag, minutes away from being discharged.

Lydia James in her striking black suit seemed unfazed by the question or her daughter's absent excitement at her presence. "You're my daughter, why wouldn't I be here?"

Laughing quietly, Haley finally looked up and zipped her bag shut, "Funny, when I almost died you couldn't find the time. So, what changed, _mother_?"

Remaining undeterred, Lydia continued with her mission." Your father and I decided you should join us in Boston for the fall semester. Afterwards, we've arranged for you to attend college there." She said as if it was the most natural thing in the world to her, playing the role of a caring mother.

Perhaps before the accident the little girl inside Haley would have blindly accepted the chance of being a family no matter the facades, but Haley knew better now. Nathan had shown her what a real family was in his love for her. He was her family now.

"I will be attending Duke in the fall…with my husband." Haley informed her, even though she knew her mother would be anything but shocked. Lydia James always had an agenda and discovering her daughter's marriage was the only reason she'd shown her face.

Proving her point, Lydia appeared cool calm and collected at the declaration, fingering the pearls around her slender neck, "Yes, I heard about that. Luckily, when you weren't answering my calls, Brooke was kind enough to answer and inform me of your _mistake_."

"Mistake?" Haley challenged, "Oh no mother, the only mistake I have ever made was not standing up for myself and what I wanted sooner."

"Is that was this is then? A cliché act of rebellion?"

Playing with her ring, Haley smiled down at it, then faced her mother again, "For the first time, this isn't about you mom, whether defying or pleasing you. This about me and I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

Lydia's façade began to crack and she started to pace, "You want to do this Haley? You really want to be married. Fine." She stopped cold, twisting around to stare hard at her daughter, "But you won't see a dime from your father or me anymore. Then we'll see if your puppy love sustains you."

"Hales?" Haley and her mother whipped around to find a ready to pounce Nathan.

True to form, Lydia didn't miss a beat and held out her hand, "You must be Nathan, the boy intent on ruining my daughter's life," She sweetly spoke and Nathan truly thought she actually expected him to want to seek her approval.

Nathan spared her hand a disinterested glance before going to Haley's side, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Mrs. James I'm sorry you feel that way, but Haley's my wife now and really no longer your concern, not that she ever was." He smirked, not sure if he'd actually hit a nerve, but enjoying catching her off guard.

Snatching her black Chanel bag off a nearby chair, Lydia set her sights on Haley one last time, a tinge of regret sneaking through, what even she knew, had become her cold heart, yet it wasn't enough to silence her own cruel childhood family memories and years of a loveless marriage. Her demons had claimed her long ago and would never let go.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," were her last words.

Feeling all negativity follow her mother, Haley sunk into Nathan's arms, her cheek pressed tightly against his chest, "I missed you."

He chuckled, stroking her hair, "Sorry I wasn't here sooner, but I was finishing your surprise."

Leaning back, Haley eyes him curiously, "Better than my mom cutting me off?"

Pausing, Nathan switched into protective mode, "Hales, I'm going to take care of you and I'm always going to protect you."

True belief radiated off her, "Right back at you."

His excitement returned at her declaration, "So you want to get out of here and see your surprise Mrs. Scott?"

Rising up on her toes, she pecked his lips, "I'd follow you anywhere Mr. Scott."

…

With their hands intertwined, Nathan led her up the steps of a local apartment complex that they'd picked out together online the week before. They'd been too late to get into married housing at Duke, so they'd decided on staying in Tree Hill, which was only ten minutes away from campus anyway.

"I love the balcony," Haley happily sighed, imagining countless nights of staring out at the stars in Nathan's arms.

Picking out the apartment key, newly attached to his keychain, Nathan unlocked the door, opening it only partially, then turned back to his bride, "Ready to be carried over the threshold?"

She giggled as he swept her effortlessly up into his arms, "Who knew Nathan Scott was such a romantic?"

He smirked down at her, opened the door all the way with his foot, and carried her over said threshold, her gasp turning his smirk into a full blown grin.

"Oh my god, Nathan, what did you do?"

Carefully putting her down, he let her take in everything.

She spun around doing just that. He'd furnished the apartment in beautiful comforting tones of various shades of blue, rich oranges and warm beiges. It was perfect, but what really took her breath away was the magnificent London bridge mural lit up at night on the back wall, complete with a faux bridge archway to highlight its beauty. After their wedding, they stayed up for hours speaking of their dreams of their life together including Haley's vision of a London honeymoon where they get lost in their love for the rain and each other repeatedly.

Coming up behind her, Nathan encircled her waist pulling her back to him and resting his chin on the top of her head, "With school starting soon I knew we didn't have time for the real thing, but I hoped this could give you a taste of what's to come."

She sighed in utter contentment, her hands over his, "This is amazing Nathan. I could never ask for more."

Bending down he nuzzled her neck, "Peyton did the mural, she'd kill me for not giving her credit."

Smiling, Haley turned in arms, "I kind of figured that one out. You have many talents, but another Picasso you certainly aren't."

"I'd rather be a Casanova for you anyway," He grinned before capturing her lips in a tender kiss that quickly intensified when her tongue came into action, craving his taste.

He moaned into her mouth and slowly slid his hands beneath her loose yellow halter, his lower half grinding into her at the touch of her smooth taut stomach.

Her hips eagerly accepted the friction as their kisses grew more frenzied with passion.

Soon, his palms reached her heaving breasts, grabbing hold of them whole, her nipples erect and igniting with his touch.

Tearing his lips away from hers, he placed open mouthed kisses along her jaw line, "I need you, Baby, _now_."

Her response was a loud moan and she fisted his shirt, pulling him along with her while backing them towards the couch.

Once within reach, she gave him a naughty shove down onto it, and stood just out of his reach.

"I love it when you take control," He chuckled, undoing his shorts.

Giving him a saucy smirk that was eerily starting to mirror his own, she slowly unbuttoned her jeans and then slipped them and her white lace thong seductively off much to his ultimate satisfaction.

Dropping to her knees, she pulled his shorts and boxers the rest of the way down and set his throbbing erection free.

Still on her knees between her legs, she reached back and undid the knot of her halter, revealing her full luscious breasts.

He'd never seen a more magnificent chest in his life, so natural, so perfect and it was all his.

Standing up, her top fell to her ankles and she stepped out of it. At that, he couldn't hold back anymore and yanked her on top of him barely given her enough time to properly straddle him.

She giggled at his impatience and kissed his swollen lips, "I love you."

He paused at that and leaned back to stare into her shining eyes, filled with a sea of emotions that somehow he was lucky enough to invoke, "Don't ever leave me,"

Concern was now the main emotion she displayed in those beautiful orbs, "Never…I promise you."

With those words, she rose up and then down to join their bodies. She began slowly, savoring the feel of him, her husband, inside her. Nothing had ever felt more right to either of them.

His fingers dug into her backside, groaning as her hips swirled around his member in a delicious rhythm.

Everything faded away as she rode him with reckless abandonment, the sounds of their lovemaking no longer hindered by secrets and fear.

Her screams of pleasure escalated when his tongue swirled around her nipple and then his teeth latched on. God, the things he could do with that mouth of his.

Her juices flowed and her tight walls constricted him, sending him back to their first night together, and how she, in that anger fueled lust, ruined him for all others. There had been no going back and now instead of spending his life with memories haunting him he could spend everyday making new ones.

She screamed out his name, clinging to him for dear life while her climax overtook all her senses and he continued to thrust upwards adding even more intensity to the sensations ripping through her body.

Somehow, in her fog her lips found his once again and swallowed his own cries of passion as his pelvis shook beneath her, filling her completely until he had nothing left.

A few quiet moments passed, the sounds of their ragged breathing and soft kissing all that remained.

Finally catching her breath, a bright smile spread across Haley's flushed face, "Guess our marriage is now consummated."

He smirked, still gripping her hips. "And I plan on consummating it all over this apartment."

A noise outside startled them both, but Nathan saw the cause before her, "Dan Scott standing outside their _open_ blinds. "Fuck." Nathan blew out lifting Haley off him and grabbing his discarded shirt off the coffee table, "Put this on."

She gave him an odd look, till she noticed what had him so riled up, "Jesus!"

Scrambling she slipped on his baby blue polo and quickly found his boxers doing the same.

Nathan had pulled on his shorts in record speed, as well and was at the door in a flash, glancing back to make sure she was decent before yanking the door open, "What the hell are you doing dad?" He growled out, making sure to block Dan for even getting a chance to come inside.

"Now, can't a father come by to congratulate his son on his nuptials?" His fake grin sent chills down Nathan's spine and the flat rectangular box wrapped in silvery paper embossed with wedding bells didn't help the situation.

"Sure if it was anyone but you. Why the fuck were you watching us? That's sick Dad, even for you."

Dan chuckled, "Don't flatter yourself, I just arrived and spotted you through the blinds. Maybe you should close them if you and your new bride want privacy. But anyway I come baring gifts, the least you could do is let me in."

Shyly, Haley appeared beside Nathan, "Of course, Mr. Scott, please come in." She kindly offered, wanting to calm the situation and at least try to make a good impression.

Nathan shook his head, knowing this was a bad idea, but stepped away from the door allowing his father inside.

Leaning over, Dan kissed Haley on the cheek and handed her his gift, "Why thank you Haley and I want to be the first to welcome you into our family."

"Thank you Mr. Scott, I'm sorry Nathan and I didn't tell you sooner, it was just kind of spur of the moment. I hope we didn't insult you."

Gently, Nathan took Haley's arm and led her away from his father, "Let's sit down."

Taking the couch, Haley and Nathan sat close as Dan took a chair across from them, "Nice place son."

Nathan just nodded and Haley smiled gratefully. She knew Dan's history and how he treated his sons, but with her own parents shutting her out of their lives completely, not that that was a stretch for them, she wanted to at least try and build something positive with her in laws. Maybe in time it could even help repair Nathan's own relationship with them.

"Well, aren't you going to open my gift," Dan encouraged, an odd gleam in his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Haley quickly apologized, beginning to carefully undo the wrapping. It was their first wedding gift and she couldn't help but get a little thrill out of it when they really weren't expecting any.

With the wrapping off all that remained was the unmarked white box and Haley lifted the lid off it, revealing a stack of papers with a silver bow wrapped around them. "What's this?"

Nathan took the papers from her, scanning them and he almost laughed out loud, of how right he'd been about his dad, "Wow, annulment papers…nice one."

Horrified, Haley grabbed the papers back, wanting to see them with her own eyes, then looked helplessly towards her new father-in-law unable to form words as the papers fell from her hands to the floor.

"I just thought I'd save you both the trouble," Dan grinned, very pleased with himself.

Nathan picked up the papers, stood and hurled them at his father, "Get the hell out of our house NOW!"

Standing, Dan straightening out his suit, leaving the papers in a heap on his chair. "Fine, I can tell when I'm not wanted. I'll have a lawyer on stand by son. Just call me when this game of house starts to bore you."

"Get out," Nathan repeated through clenched teeth, "and if you go anywhere near Haley, I swear to god, Dan."

"Oh it's Dan now?" He gave a little chuckle, "I guess that works as from this point on I'm not paying for a damn thing of yours, at least until you come to your senses."

This time Nathan got directly in his father's face, "I don't need you or your money. So get the fuck out before I throw you out."

Holding up his hands in surrender, Dan made his way for the door, "I'm leaving and Haley dear, I hope you don't plan on getting knocked up. I won't support that bastard either."

He was still grinning as finally left their apartment.

…

Chase climbed the stairs of Brooke's house and found the brunette staring in a daze at a photo album.

"You ok?"

Brooke didn't look up, "Sit."

He did and saw her transfixed on a photo of her and Haley from cheerleading camp, holding a trophy from a competition.

"I don't think I can let her go Chase." Brooke finally spoke.

Taking the album from her, he shut it quickly and put it to the side, "She lied to you, to us. How can you even think like that?"

She still didn't look at him, "Because I love her and because I've lied to her too, we both have."

"Don't even try to compare Brooke. She lied for two years, it's not even remotely the same. She fucking married him too, did you know that? Married him, for god's sake."

Now she faced him, "I know, I was there."

Chase jumped from the bed and stared at her in shock, "You were there?"

"She's my best friend Chase, I had to see it…I had to see it for myself, to see why she could have done what she did."

"Oh so her being in love makes it easier, makes it less of a betrayal?"

She shook her head while tears begin to slip down her cheeks, "No, that's not what I meant. I just meant…well I don't know what I meant."

"She chose him over me, over you, over everything."

More tears spilled, "I know that, but are you telling me you would have wanted her back knowing she loved someone else. Jesus, what does that say about you or me for that matter? I wouldn't want that for her or you."

"What about Lucas?" Chase added. "Where was he when you needed him, with Haley that's where."

"I'm not talking about Lucas, I can't handle even thinking about him right now. He's called me a million times and I can't even pick up the phone." Haley had tried calling her too, all week from the hospital, but she'd ignored every single call.

Chase sunk to the floor, "Are you going to take him back?"

"I told you I can't even think about that and maybe a part of me wonders why I can't. Why I'm looking at photos of Haley and not him."

"Nice Brooke, so I guess you're just going to forgive everything and be Haley's little cheerleader in her new life and watch Lucas run off into the sunset with Peyton."

"Shut up!" Brooke's voice rose, "he's not going to do that."

"Just like I thought Haley wouldn't leave me."

It was Brooke's turn to leap to her feet, "Can we just stop talking about this…all of this. I can't handle it, not right now." Her hand went to her stomach and pain began to overwhelm her.

She felt Chase's arms around as she began to sob, never feeling more lost in her entire life.

…

Walking into their bedroom, Nathan handed his still shaken wife a glass of water, kneeling in front of her, "I'm so sorry, Baby."

She took a sip and then sat it on the nightstand, "Me too, I know I should have expected it, it's just everything is so overwhelming."

Lifting his hand, he stroked her dark blonde waves, "I wanted this night to be special for you,"

She smiled at that, "Nathan it is special. Coming home with you to our place, making love to you for the first time as your wife, nothing can ever take that away."

He kissed her forehead, "I needed to hear that."

She scooted over in the bed and opened the covers for him to join her, which he did after taking off his shorts.

Pulling her body into his he held her tight, realizing she'd removed his boxers. "We're going to be ok, no matter what."

Placing a tender kiss on his chest, she tilted her back and caressed his cheek, "I know we will. It's just with my mother, your dad, and Brooke won't answer my calls, not that I blame her."

"You know I'm not her biggest fan, but she'll come around."

"Lucas said the same. You know, I think you two are more alike than you think."

Nathan quirked an eyebrow, "I guess that's good he said that, but let's not go that far."

She laughed and he breathed a sigh of relief at the sound.

"So, Mrs. Scott, I know I'm all about the charm, but I think I have a better way of taking your mind off things."

There was that smirk again as he rolled on top of her, her legs spreading as if on autopilot.

"Hmm, I'm not sure I know what you're getting at Mr. Scott." She played along, already wet by his steadily growing member rubbing against her.

"Does _this_" he thrust inside her, a gasp mingled with a moan escaping her lips, "help?"

Her only answer was her hips jerking up against his and in that moment everything and everyone else melted away into ecstasy.

Joined as one, in their bedroom, the war was over…at least for them.

Cath


	12. Night Is Still

**Author's Note:** Hey all, have I shocked you with two updates in a week? LOL Inspiration has definitely hit, especially with this story. So, I hope you don't mind two updates in a row for this story. A hit upon the BLP triangle a bit and I hope people don't hate on Luke too much. NH aren't normal, so I wanted to show something more normal with Lucas' love life and how when you're eighteen you can start to see there's more out there in the world and sometimes it brings you back to what's most important and sometimes it takes to an even greater place. Lucas and Brooke are both a bit torn right now and we'll see more from Brooke's side in the later chapters.

Anyway enough of that. There's some good NH in here too and yes they are still basically in newlywed glow, but they will have their bumps, but this story isn't about tearing them apart, it's about them fighting through life together. They will both make mistakes(no cheating I do not do that), but the love will always remain with these two and be what holds them together. Like I said, this story has only just begun and we have ALOT more to cover. I'm going to be kind of writing the way I saw NH in college too. As I've also said, while NH were vastly different starting out in this story from the show, as the story progresses we see them become the people and the couple we know and love. :)

Ok, now go read. A big thanks to Lo for being such a great beta. Love ya girl!

**Chapter Twelve "Night Is Still"**

_'When the night is still,  
And the world doesn't know our name.  
The light crawls in,  
And falls on your pretty face._

_You roll around,  
And your smell is everywhere.  
The night is still,  
And you are here._

_I love the time,  
No one else knows the lines.  
We say could the world love this way?  
If they knew the words, would they,  
Shout it out across the lonely skyline?  
Aren't we the same?'_

**_Strays Don't Sleep_**

Hearing the club doors open and the painfully bright light enter, Peyton looked up from her spot behind the bar where she was currently helping with inventory, "Hey Foxy, what's happening?"

"Nothing much," Haley smiled at her friend, taking a seat at the empty bar.

Peyton placed her clipboard down and began to fix Haley some coffee, "Well, not that I don't enjoy the company, but I figured you'd be holed up in that apartment for at least a week."

"I figured three days was sufficient for now, but I do have an ulterior motive." She admitted, not enjoying having to put Peyton in this position.

"Shoot." Peyton encouraged, sliding Haley's drink in front of her.

"I need a job."

Blinking in surprise, Peyton leaned closer to Haley, resting her forearms on the bar, "Here?"

Haley began to blush, "I know I have no qualifications or anything and feel free to say no. But with Nathan and I both being cut off we're going to need some income."

"First off, you don't really need any qualifications to work here, except enjoying live music and second you don't even have to ask, you're hired." Peyton grinned.

"Peyton are you sure? I mean I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Oh please, but just to calm you down, let's have Owen decide, he actually has to sign off anyway, not that he cares if I do," She winked and then yelled out for Owen.

Owen appeared carrying a box of a case of Grey Goose Vodka. "What's up? Hey Haley." He smiled warmly when he noticed her.

"Our little Haley, here, wants a job, what do you think about that?"

Pretending to ponder, Owen sat the case down before facing the girls again, "Hmm, on one condition, you alert me and not that husband of yours when one of these drunk assholes gives you a hard time."

Haley laughed, "I promise and thank you both so much this means a lot to me. When can I start?"

"Let me get the papers to fill out and you can start tomorrow. Sound good?"

"Perfect." Haley agreed with Owen before he disappeared to retrieve the papers.

Peyton eyed Haley for a moment, "Speaking of your husband. Does he know about this and the outfit your going to have to wear?"

Taking a sip of her drink first, Haley thought about how to answer that, "Sort of. We had a long talk and he can't work with basketball and risk losing his scholarship, so I told him I was going around to a few places today."

"Well, Hales I'm proud of you and he'll just have to get used to it."

Tracing the rim of her cup, Haley wondered if he would, but they needed the money and Peyton had always raved about the tips here, so what choice did she really have? Plus, she'd be working with friends and that should calm him down.

"Yeah, he's going to have. Oh and one more thing. You want to come over later tonight? Nathan's playing ball with Lucas and some of the guys at the Rivercourt."

"Wow thanks. I only get invited when your sex machine is gone."

Haley rolled her eyes, playfully, "Stop that. He'll only be gone for a little bit anyway. So, just get your skinny ass over when you're done here."

….

Glancing at the clock, Lucas grabbed his ball to head to the Rivercourt and headed down his stairs. Swinging the front door open, he was in for a shock when Brooke Davis was standing there before him. "Brooke?"

She smiled sheepishly, "It's me."

He walked outside with her and closed his door, "I'm glad you're here, I've tried to call."

Nodding, she went and sat down on his stoop, he joined her, "I know, I just didn't know what to say."

"Honestly? Me either."

They sat together quietly for several minutes watching the wind dance with the limbs of his tree.

Brooke spoke first, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." And he did, she had been such a big part of his world for so long, he wasn't sure how to exist without her anymore. His days had usually revolved around Brooke in one way or another and now his days were suddenly filled with foreign activities and emotions.

"I'm not ready to face Haley, Luke, not right now, but I figured starting with you was a good first step."

He gently smiled, putting the ball down and taking one of her hands in his, "It is Brooke. You may not want to hear it, but she misses you too."

"How could she not?" She lightly quipped, but Lucas knew her well enough to know when she was in defense mode. It was easier for her to laugh something off rather than face, not that he could ever blame her, especially now.

She squeezed his hand, "I want to try again with you, Luke." She finally said what she came to say.

He noticed the apprehension in her voice and even in his own voice at his next words, "Me too, Brooke."

She smiled when he came closer and they fell into a deep kiss, both of them secretly hoping the other didn't feel the doubt creeping into their hearts.

…

Still dripping in sweat Nathan entered the apartment to find Peyton stirring a bowl of his wife's mac and cheese. "Where's Haley?"

Peyton stopped stirring, "It's nice to see you too Nathan. I'm great, thanks."

He tossed his sweaty towel at her, "Anyway, where is she?"

"Peyton, how do I look?" Came Haley's voice from the hallway seconds before she appeared striking a pose in a short tight black shirt, an equally tight cropped black short sleeved top with a very deep scoop neck, a tiny black apron and spiked black heels "Nathan," She stumbled out surprised he was home so early.

"What the hell are you wearing?"

Wanting to diffuse the situation, Peyton came around and wrapped an arm around Haley's shoulders, "Doesn't she look hot? I talked her into working with me because the tips are awesome and plus you get to see her in this all the time. Isn't that a great thing?"

Nathan crossed his arms at his chest, "You could have told me, Haley."

Breaking free from Peyton, Haley went to stand in front of him, "I was going to tell you tonight. Come on, it won't be that bad, besides there is something that goes along with this outfit that you're going to love."

He didn't budge, "What's that?"

She flashed him her ring with a cheeky grin, "The _'I'm taken and my husband will kick your ass if you even try'_ accessory."

He cracked a smile at that and dropped his arms to encircle her waist, "You have me wrapped around that damn finger. You know that?"

"You love it." She threw back placing a chaste kiss on his lips, "Now go shower." She crinkled her nose.

He pulled her even close and ducked down to speak into her ear, "I thought you loved it when I was all sweaty?"

Pushing him away, she pointed a finger at him, "Not when we have company and I can't do anything about it."

Passing by her, he kissed her cheek, "I'll only be a minute and take over for Peyton; she can't cook for shit."

"Haha, ass" Peyton deadpanned, Haley's laughter earning her a look from the blonde as well.

"Well, let me change real quick and I'll take over."

Once Haley and Nathan were out of earshot, there was a knock at the door. Debating if she should answer, Peyton eventually shrugged and went to check out the peephole finding Lucas on the other side.

She smiled, opening the door and Lucas was shocked for the second time that day.

"Peyton?"

"Such a clever boy," She cracked, grinning wider at his chuckle and own smile.

Stepping into the apartment with her, he quickly noticed Nathan and Haley were no where in sight, but he heard the shower going, "Please tell me they're not in there together?"

"If Nathan had a choice I'm sure they would be, but Haley's just changing out of her new work clothes."

"She got a job?"

"Yeah, she's going to be working with me and before you say it, she's already convinced Nathan."

Lucas laughed again, "It's scary how well you know me or should I say Nathan."

"I know everything," She winked, returning to the stove.

He sat on a stool in front of her, "I have no doubt."

'_Man, she was beautiful.' _Shit, that came out of nowhere_._

"Do I have something on my face?" Peyton started wiping at her cheeks with a dishtowel. "This cheese is a mess."

Great, she'd caught him staring. "Um no, sorry I was just lost in thought." _'And that was lame.'_ He mentally kicked himself.

In his daze he hadn't noticed Haley come into the room, now wearing gray cotton shorts and one of his brother's Duke shirts, "Hey BIL," She kissed his cheek, then true to her word took over for Peyton.

"Hey…wait BIL?"

Haley giggled, blowing on a spoonful of gooey heaven and reaching over for him to taste, "BIL, you know _brother_-_in_-_law_."

He rolled his head back, "God, we are related now." He joked, bending over to take the bite she was offering.

"Shush, you love being my brother in law."

"In law and in love." He genuinely smiled, melting Haley's heart. She didn't need Nathan's parents; Lucas was more than enough.

"You two are so corny," Peyton teased from her place lounged out on the couch, flipping through the movie channels.

"Hell yes." Nathan agreed joining them in navy nylon shorts and a gray Duke shirt, matching his wife.

Haley slapped his shoulder when he came close and met him for quick kiss.

Moving behind her now, Nathan began to rub her shoulders, "So what the hell happened to you man? Thought you were coming out to play with us."

Lucas struggled whether to tell them about Brooke, about the girl that had always made him happy, but when his eyes darted to Peyton with her long legs stretched out, he couldn't find the courage to say her name, to declare his heart had been claimed again. Guilt swirled in him, but something inside wouldn't let him. "Dad wanted me to help out at the dealership," He lied and it scared him how easy it was.

"Hell yes Live At Abbey Road is on!" Peyton declared with glee, erasing all his worries and that scared him even more.

"Who's on?" Haley yelled back at Peyton as she went to grab some bowls for them all.

"Stereophonics."

Nathan groaned, "Don't they ever have anyone good?"

"Hey I like them." Lucas defended grabbing two filled bowls from Haley and walking over to Peyton, handing her one.

"You would." Nathan grumbled, grabbing a bottle of wine for Haley and Peyton and two beers for him and Luke.

Peyton sat up and made room for Lucas on the couch, "Thanks."

Lucas sat beside her and threw her a soft smile, "My pleasure."

Grabbing two wine glasses from the cabinet Haley turned to catch Luke's smile at Peyton and it made her pause. She'd only seen Lucas crushed out when he was eight years old with Brooke so maybe her radar was off, but still…"

"Baby?" Nathan called from the chair he now occupied.

Shaking herself out of her daze, she made her way to the group, filling up the glasses and giving Peyton one before being pulled into her husband's lap.

"You sure you want to eat this way?" She laughed removing her bowl from table beside their chair.

He nipped at her neck, "Oh yeah."

…

Five hours, two bottles of wine and endless beers later, the quad was winding down. During the night, Nathan and Haley had taken control of the couch, Nathan spooning her as the credits rolled on the last movie of the night. Peyton had switched to a chair and had fallen asleep a few minutes prior while Lucas lay content in front of the television.

Haley yawned before slowly rising, Nathan following her lead.

"Luke, you and Peyton should just stay. No reason to try to drive." Haley softly spoke, not wanting to wake Peyton. "We should probably move Peyton though; she won't be able to walk if she sleeps all night like that."

Lucas tilted his head back to look at Peyton, "Y'all go to bed. I'll move her to the couch."

The couple silently agreed and headed to their bedroom.

When they were gone, Lucas lightly shook Peyton's shoulder, but the only movement she made was a soft murmur and she sunk deeper into her chair. Deciding against waking her, Lucas slipped one arm underneath her legs and another behind her back and slowly lifted her up, holding her still in his arms before taking the two steps to the couch and laying her down gingerly.

Grabbing Nathan and Haley's discarded blanket, he covered her with it, proud of himself when she turned her back to the couch and snuggled with the blanket, never waking.

Impulsively, he reached out and moved a few wayward curls off her face, letting his fingers linger across her cheek. There was an unbelievable softness to her when she slept, something she hid from the world at every turn in her waking hours. Again, he was struck by her beauty.

Guilt seized him once more and he pulled his phone out scrolling for Brooke's name, wondering if he should wake her, but ultimately decided against it, for fear she would somehow know he'd be staring at another girl seconds before.

With a sad sigh, he went back to the floor, grabbing a pillow to ease himself into sleep. Too bad for him, his confusing thoughts weren't going to allow that to happen anytime soon.

…

After brushing her teeth, Haley climbed into bed, curling into her husband's side.

He hugged her tighter too him and kissed the top of her head, "I missed you today."

Grinning she raised her head to look at him, "Can't go a couple hours without me, huh?"

He scoffed, "Says the girl that text messaged me about a million times in those two hours."

Giggling, she rolled on top of him, stretching her tiny body along his long frame as his hands slid underneath her t-shirt and stroked her silky back.

"Ok, I give. I missed you like crazy."

"Mmm, that's more like it," He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her body pressed against his and they kissed sweetly.

Then not no sweetly and soon, they were embroiled in a full blown make-out session, during which, all their clothes found themselves strewn across the room.

"We…so…can't….do…this." Haley got in between heated strokes and kisses that sent her mind and body reeling.

Nathan tugged her bottom lip between his teeth and her breath hitched, "We can if we're quiet." His tongue swirled around hers again and she moaned into his mouth.

It's be easier to hold back screaming from a gun shot than Nathan inside her. "How can I manage that?" She whimpered, wanting so bad to find a solution.

In one swift movement, he'd flipped them over and turned her on her stomach, her face smashed against the pillows and this time he was straddling her. She crooked her head back to grin, "You're so damn brilliant."

He bent down and seized her mouth once more before tearing his lips away and plunging deep inside her, her gut wrenching moan of ecstasy and a hint of pain muffled by the pillows.

Her hands slid underneath the pillows, grabbing the edge of the mattress as he gripped her ass and began to pick up his pace pounding into her.

Leaning down, he placed a chaste kiss above her ear, never breaking his stride within her walls, "Fuck, you're so tight, Baby." He huskily said before sitting up again, molding her firm hot ass with his fingers, loving the view as she fought to arch her back and keep her mouth firmly against those pillows that continued to swallow her screams.

Driving them both into the endless depths of pleasure, Nathan leaned back down to place sizzling opened mouth kisses along her back, his lips craving the feel of her skin as they climaxed as one.

Nothing could ever compare to this—to them and that was all that was floating through their minds as carnal bliss rode its last waves for the night and sent them both into a deep sleep.

…

With a cup of coffee, Lucas sat in a green plastic chair on Nathan and Haley's balcony so entranced by the pink and orange hues of the rising sun, he didn't even hear the apartment door open.

"Thanks for making the coffee." Haley smiled before taking a lingering sip from her blue mug and taking the empty chair beside her best friend.

"I didn't mean to wake you," He apologized, figuring he'd woken her up when he was in the kitchen. With all those years, living alone in her big empty house it didn't take much for her to wake to even to the smallest sounds.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I'm an early riser anyway. You know that."

"Yeah, I do," He winked and they both reflected on the numerous mornings before school or on the weekends they found themselves on the porch watching the sunrise and sharing either coffee or hot chocolate. No matter how late they'd stay out, they would find the other waiting.

Resting his arms on his knees, he turned to look at her, "I'm glad we can still do this."

She gave him an odd look, "Drink coffee?"

"Remind me again how you managed to be our Valedictorian?" He teased and she punched his arm. "Sorry…sorry, damn does Nathan know you have a hell of a violent streak."

Her bare feet went up to the balcony rail and she crossed her ankles, "It's just one of the many things he loves about me,"

"Touché" Lucas raised his matching mug to her, then became serious again, "Well, back to what I meant. I guess I have to admit I was a little scared when you and Nathan got married."

"Scared?"

"Yeah, I mean, even with Chase and Brooke, we've always found our own time, just you and me. I wasn't sure if we'd still be able to do that, what with you going all eighteen year old wife, on me."

Her head titled and her warm eyes settled on him, "Truth? I was scared too, mostly of all the responsibility and what it means to be a wife; that I wouldn't have time for other things that are so important to me, like you. But while Nathan and our life will take up a lot of my time, I've learned it doesn't have to be a choice. Like last night, both of my worlds collided with you and Nathan and I realized how beautiful it can be."

He chuckled, "Who wants to be the writer again?"

She gave him a pointed look, "You know what I mean. Last night felt so real, like we all we're a real family. That's everything to me, Luke and it's always going to be."

His hand went to her shoulder, "Me too, Hales."

"Good, now are you going to tell me where you really where yesterday afternoon. Nathan may have bought your excuse, but I know your 'tell' when you try to lie."

"What?"

"Your stuff your hands in your jeans, go all squinty and can't look anyone in the eye." She told him with amusement, enjoying the knowledge that he could never lie to her from now running through that shaved head of his.

Groaning his head fell back against the apartment wall, "Fine. Brooke came over and we…got back together."

"Oh, Luke that's great. I knew she couldn't stay mad at you." Haley beamed. Lucas life was finally settling after the tornado that was her and Nathan had pretty much left it in chaos. She couldn't be happier for him...that is until she noticed the sadness clearly written all over his face, "What's going on?"

Soft blue orbs sought out brown, "I'm not sure if it's what she really wants."

"She loves you, Luke, don't ever doubt that."

"I know she does and I love her, I just think all this upheaval gave us all pause to reevaluate our lives and yesterday I saw that same far away look in her eyes you had for so long."

Haley frowned, "I see it in you too, Luke. You ever thought maybe she sees it as well and that's why she's hesitant?"

"Maybe, I guess I was just hoping things would fall back in place with us."

"Nothing is ever that easy."

"It was for you and Nathan. I mean you two got a second chance and got married it felt so right."

A soft laugh from Haley echoed around him, "Luke, no two couples are the same and Nathan and I are far from normal. Just give it time and eventually you and Brooke will figure out what you want. Do me a favor, though?"

He smiled, "Anything."

"Be honest with her. I've caused enough pain for her with my lies, she doesn't need anymore."

He didn't respond yet she knew he'd taken her words to heart and for the next half hour, the two best friends savored the silence and their bond.

Haley had been right, family was everything, and family is what they'd both be clinging to in the year that lay ahead.

* * *

Cath


	13. Take One Breath

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, sorry for the delays. I was really sick the last couple weeks, but feeling much better now and ready to write. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Some may be a little shocked by the BH development, but there is a lot more story for these two girls. I'm also not trying to dismiss what Haley did, but let's be real Brooke is Brooke and she's going to make some mistakes. I have to be true to the characters in some extents. Above all forgiveness is going to have to be big in my story because these characters are teenagers(except Nathan who's 20) and they all will make mistakes. Two wrongs never make a right, but Brooke and Haley especially were both in similar situations and them breaking free in similar ways isn't unusual.

Ok, enough of that. It's been nice to write NH kind of just enjoying marital bliss, but after this chapter, the bumps will start. Again, this story is NOT about tearing them apart, it's about them struggling to get through life and these bumps together. Sometimes they will disappoint the other, sometimes one will carry more of the burden, but their love will never waver and always bring them back. Also, there will not even be a hint of cheating or even a scare of it because I'm never about that. NH would never do that to each other ever so why would I write that. ;) I'm going to be writing perils that are more realistic for these two, that a lot of us would have preferred seeing on the show and I'm excited to write that.

Wow, so I rambled on and on. LOL A big thanks to Ha for beta-ing. You are awesome girl! This is to Susie Q, who has every right to throw a zillion angry angels at me. :P

**Chapter Thirteen "****Take One Breath"**

_You gotta start trying to eat again  
Even though the only thing you hunger for  
Is to have back your friend  
You gotta do your head above the water  
Even though time seems irrelevant now  
And you're more than sick of this pain inside your chest_

_Take one breath and then take another  
Repeat these simple steps  
Until you feel like you're doing better.  
Take one breath  
Let the calm of it consume you_

**_The Spill Canvas_**

Exhausted, Haley closed the door to her apartment, dropped her keys on a chair and slipped off her jet black heels, her feet aching in their newfound freedom.

Padding down the hall, a small smile graced her lips when she caught sight of her sleeping husband. She'd been working constantly the last three weeks, hoping to get in as many hours as possible before school started and she was forced to cut back.

Nathan had started training with the team a week before and like her, he could barely keep his eyes open when he came home. Nevertheless, they managed to make love almost every single night, usually fast and frenzied, their bodies starved from only being mere hours apart.

The mornings were all theirs though. Whether she found himself in between his legs, her mouth taking him all in or him pushing inside her as he molded her breasts, they always managed to wake each other up in the most exquisite fashion. After languidly indulging in each other, they would have breakfast before finding themselves wrapped in each other's embrace once more. That is, until the clock menacingly ticked away at their bliss and brought them back to reality.

Shedding her clothes, she slipped into their warm comforting bed and buried herself into her hubby's side. She placed a soft kiss to his chest as the fingers of her left hand gently stroked his skin.

"Mmm, how was work?" His voice thick with sleep asked her as he hugged her even tighter to him.

"I thought you were asleep," She lifted her head to meet his lips for a soft kiss. "And it was fine, just long."

He kissed her again, "I can't really sleep until you're home."

She tapped his nose with her finger, her smile lighting up the dark room, "You slept fine before you met me."

"I didn't know what I was missing then."

"You're too good to me, you know that?"

Even in the dark, she could see his smirk. "Good to hear after you being around all those horny frat boys."

"You're the only horny boy I'll ever need, Babe." She reassured him, her lids growing heavy.

"Damn straight." He whispered, being pulled back into slumber.

Nuzzling her head against him she murmured an _'I love you'_ and he echoed it back before their lips met once more and their mutual exhaustion claimed their bodies, the rhythmic beating of the other's heart lulling them to sleep.

…

Situating her black messenger bag, Haley walked into her first class as a Duke freshman, _'World History'_. She was ten minutes early and the class was already mostly filled. Taking a seat near the front, which she preferred, she started to notice a few looks and whispers directed towards her.

Deciding she was being paranoid, she pulled her dark blonde waves up into a high ponytail and began to take her notepad and pen out of her bag, ready to write down every word out of her instructor's mouth.

"Damn, please don't tell me that's a wedding ring and crush all my dreams."

Rolling her eyes, Haley let out a sigh as she looked at the guy who'd just sat down next to her and spewed that lame line, "Listen…Damien!" Her frown turned into a bright grin, "What are you doing in this class?"

He grinned back, "Haven't taken this class yet. Besides, I snuck a look at your schedule on your fridge and figured I could look out for you."

She gave him a knowing look, "and look off my tests?"

"Oh, Hales darling, that hurts, truly. But if you want to help me every now and then I won't hold it against you."

"Ha ha, I will help you study, but no cheating. Got it mister?"

"Yes ma'am." He saluted her.

Behind him, she noticed a guy pointing in her direction and then relay something to a group of girls.

Handing Damien a spare pen, which she noticed he needed as he was rifling unsuccessfully in his backpack, she leaned close to him, "Hey, do I look ok?"

Gratefully taking the pen, his eyes roamed over her, from her curve hugging jeans to her emerald green spaghetti strap top that displayed a nice hint of cleavage, "Uh, how do I answer that without getting my ass kicked by Nathan?"

"I'm serious, Dam. Ever since I walked in here people keep staring at me and pointing."

Letting out a chuckle, he dug through his navy backpack again, pulled out 'The Chronicle', Duke's daily newspaper, and placed it on her desk. "Well, you are hot, Hales, but I think this might be the reason, for the girls, at least."

Her eyes went wide as she caught sight of the headline, _'Duke's Star Forward Scores Teen Bride_.' "Oh. My. God."

Below the headline was her class picture in full cap and gown glory and Nathan's sophomore basketball photo right next to it. Quotes of shock and awe from fellow students and teammates were sprinkled throughout, including details of her near fatal accident and hospital wedding. Apparently, confidentiality wasn't big with her hospital, as the information could have only come from the so-called anonymous staff.

Damien's stomach clenched as he watched Haley's usual rosy cheeks run ashen. "Haley, it's cool. It had to come out sometime."

She handed him back the paper, "Yeah…it's just this isn't exactly what I had in mind."

Patting her ring clad hand, he smiled, "You married a star around these parts, but once the surprise wears off and people don't see your stomach pop out, you'll be just as praised as he is."

"I don't want to be praised, Damien. I want to be normal."

Neither had the chance to say another word as the instructor walked in with his white beard and tattered briefcase, ready to begin.

Haley felt sick, but was relieved to have something to focus on besides her newfound celebrity status. She never wanted to hide the fact she was Nathan's wife, but this was definitely going to take some adjustment.

Settling back into her seat while the professor prepared his projector, Haley was ready for the screen to take her mind to a much more comfortable place, when she happened to glance to her right and see none other than Brooke Davis a few rows down.

Thankfully, she hadn't noticed her or maybe she had and just didn't care. Haley hoped it was the former because the latter was a fresh stab in the heart. Sure, it was a well deserved stab, but it didn't make it any easier.

Brooke had noticed her and had felt that same stab of pain. She had known there was a chance they'd end up in at least one of the same classes, seeing as freshman classes were pretty general and very large, yet she still halted at seeing that thick blonde ponytail at the front of the class.

Thus, for the first time ever, Brooke found herself actually paying attention in class, doing everything in her power not to cast a look in her former friend's direction.

It was hard enough fighting for normalcy with Lucas, something she wasn't sure they'd ever achieve, but trying it with Haley seemed beyond impossible. So, instead avoidance was her method of choice. She only wished she could avoid the longing she felt.

…

Haley had waited until the class had emptied, which included Brooke, to gather her things and Damien had waited for her. She was growing to really value him as a friend and despite the way he and Nathan threw jabs at each other, she knew Nathan did as well.

"So, you have a break right now, don't you?"

She stood up next to him, "Yeah, you?"

"Actually, I have to head over to the gym for a practice. Wanna come?"

Her bottom lip went between her teeth as she pondered, "Um, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I don't want to disturb Nathan."

He chuckled and headed up the stairs of the classroom, "Come on Scott, the other Scott is expecting you anyway."

She didn't believe him as she struggled to catch up with his long strides. "What? How?"

"Jesus, girl, if I've seen your schedule, you don't think Nate has too?"

With that, her mood lifted.

…

"West, you're late. Suicides. NOW!" One of the assistant coaches yelled as soon as Damien stepped foot into the gym.

The rest of the players were just finishing up their own round of the tortuous drill.

Slinking in behind Damien, Haley stayed close to the doorway, still unsure if she should have ever agreed to come.

All her worries vanished, though, when her sweaty husband spotted her and a broad smile spread across his chiseled face.

Jogging toward her, it only grew bigger.

"Hi." Haley greeted him right before he swept her into a breath stealing kiss, a series of hoot and hollers ringing throughout the gym.

Her arms circled his neck just as their kiss broke, "You're all sweaty," she giggled.

"Yep, but I prefer getting sweaty with you, just so you know," he winked, their lips meeting again for a shorter kiss.

Afterwards, Haley's eyes fluttered open to find the dynamic Coach K standing directly behind Nathan, his arms crossed in a disapproving stance.

"You think you can let go of your girl long enough to introduce me?"

Nathan jumped away from Haley at the sound of his coach's voice, yet he still kept an arm around her waist. "Uh, sorry, Coach. This is my wife, Haley."

Coach K shook his head at his player, "I gathered that, Scott."

Haley blushed and stuck out her hand, "I'm sorry for interrupting practice. It's such a pleasure to meet you."

He gave her a charming smile, something Nathan and the entire team had never seen before. "The pleasure is entirely mine Mrs. Scott." He shook her hand. "I'd also like to thank you."

"Thank me?" Her blush deepened and the Coach's demeanor softened even more in her presence. Scott had truly found himself a winner with this one.

"Yes, I've never seen Scott, here, more even-tempered in practices. I can only hope your effect will carry on through our games."

She was full blown scarlet now, "Oh, please don't thank me. It's all Nathan."

Dismissing that notion, he smiled kindly at her, "You are much too humble and if I must say much too beautiful to be married to this guy," his thumb gestured at Nathan.

"Well, I'll give you two a minute. I just wanted to meet the miracle worker and let you know you're welcome in here anytime. And Scott, make sure this one is at all your games, no matter what." He slapped Nathan on the back and went back to the team.

Nathan let out a breath and stared down at his wife with amusement, "Damn girl. I don't think I've ever seen that man smile, even when we won the championship."

"I doubt that. Still, I'm thankful I'm in his good graces after our three-page spread in the paper."

Stepping back in front of her, he caressed her cheek, "I'm sorry about that, Baby. I should have known they'd pull something like that."

She shrugged, "It's okay. I guess it's just part of being married to the great Nathan Scott." She teased and he smirked.

"Well, that is what you called me in the shower this morning, isn't it?"

Slapping his chest, she rose on her beige heels and pecked his cheek, "Make sure you deflate that ego before you head home. Not sure if you'll fit through the door otherwise."

His hand left her cheek to grasp her hand, intertwining their fingers, "You have to work tonight?"

She nodded sadly, "Only till ten, though. Wait up for me?" A hopeful smile graced her glossy lips.

'_God, he couldn't get enough of that smile…or any of her for that matter.'_

"Count on it." He promised, kissing her one last time and using the back of his hand to wipe her gloss from his lips, before heading back over to the bleachers and the approval of his teammates on his gorgeous bride.

…

"God, it's only nine," Haley groaned as she ducked under the opening of the bar and handed Owen her latest drink order.

"Come on, you can handle one more hour," Owen coaxed, very impressed with how quickly she'd become a pro at her job.

She took the two tequila shots he'd just poured, "Tell that to my feet."

Wincing with each step, but keeping a radiant smile on her face, Haley approached the two guys with their drinks. "Here y'all go. You want to start a tab?"

They agreed while leering at her and she was off to her new table, "What can I get for y'all?" She asked without lifting her head, that is until she heard the voice requesting a diet coke.

"Brooke." Haley croaked out, mid-scribble of the order.

A group surrounding Brooke giggled, 'You know her Brookie?"

Haley surveyed their t-shirts and Brooke's. They all were pledging tri delta. Haley was going to pledge as well before marrying Nathan. She and Brooke were both legacies.

Brooke didn't even look at Haley, "We went to high school together, no big deal," she nonchalantly informed the group before inhaling a long draw from her cigarette.

"What can I get the rest of you?" Haley fought to remain pleasant as the rest of the group ordered the same as Brooke.

A few minutes later Haley handed them their drinks.

A perky blonde grabbed Haley's wrist before she could take it back. "You're married!?"

Glancing at her ring and pulling back her arm, Haley nodded, "Yes, is there anything else I can get you all?"

The blonde giggled, "Aren't you a little young? Wait, are you pregnant? Aw, that's so sad you have to work in a bar."

"She's not pregnant." Brooke corrected the blonde, still not making eye contact with a grateful Haley.

The blonde flipped her hair back and shrugged, "Oh well, still must suck to work here."

Biting her tongue, Haley turned away and went back to the bar where Peyton now was.

"You ok, Foxy?"

Placing her tray on the bar, Haley waited for Owen to fill it with more beers for the frat boys Haley had been tending to all night. "I'm fine, Pey, thanks."

"I'll take them if you want." Peyton offered with a soft smile, noticing Haley's new table.

"It's ok. I can handle it."

A half hour later, Haley grabbed Brooke's ticket, steeling herself for more idiotic comments and Brooke's indifference.

"Here y'all go. Hope you come back and see us."

Owen came up behind Haley, "Hales you grabbed the wrong ticket, here you girls go." He plopped the correct ticket on the table and paused at the sight of Brooke. "Haley?"

Confused, Haley turned to him, "yeah?" But he wasn't looking at her, just Brooke.

Like a deer caught in headlights, Brooke struggled to find an explanation, "I think you have me confused with someone else."

He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at her, "I don't think that's possible. Haley Davis, right?"

Brooke's friends burst into a fit of laughter realizing what was going on. Their Brookie had given a fake name.

Haley realized it too as Brooke had used her name in the past during harmless flirting with guys they'd never see again.

Putting out her cigarette, Brooke plastered a fake grin on her face, "Well, again you have me confused because I know I wouldn't have forgotten you."

Owen gave her a conspirator wink and left the table and a floored Haley. But what could Haley say. She didn't know what, if anything, had happened between Owen and Brooke. Plus, it wasn't as if Brooke would tell her anything anymore, so with a parting glance she left the table only to return once they'd all left to collect a twenty dollar tip and empty the ash trays.

…

"How were your classes?" Nathan softly inquired, running a hand through her blonde waves with Haley's head rested in his lap and her body stretched out across the couch.

Fighting a yawn, she turned away from the television and rolled onto her back to look up at him. "Not bad, just a lot of notes and most professors dismissed us early. Lucas and I have three classes together, though, so that's going to be nice. What about you?"

His eyes left Sportscenter and found hers, "Only one today, tomorrow is when I have most of them. Damien said Brooke was in one of yours."

Haley sighed and closed her eyes, "Yeah, we didn't speak. I saw her at the bar tonight too. She's pledging."

"You wish you were?"

He saw her rich orbs again. They burned into his with sincerity. "Not at all. I didn't even really care too before you. It was just another thing expected of me. Besides, pledging myself to you is much much better," she grinned, while the back of his hand brushed across her cheek.

"Same here." He leaned down and left a tender kiss on her forehead.

A knock at the door surprised them both. It was almost midnight and neither was expecting anyone.

"It's probably Lucas." Haley surmised, reluctantly rising off the couch and going towards the door.

Looking through the peephole, she didn't spot Lucas, just his girlfriend. She glanced back at Nathan, "It's Brooke."

Nathan didn't hide his shock or annoyance, yet he knew his wife needed to open that door no matter what his personal feelings were. "I'll be in the bedroom. Shout if you need me."

She paused at the door, afraid of what would happen when she did. It could be a new beginning or the final nail in the coffin of what had once been the closest of bonds.

Spotting her hesitance, Nathan came up behind her and kissed her bare shoulder before his lips brushed against her ear, "Take a breath, Hales. It'll be all right."

Closing her eyes, she did just that and when she opened them, he was gone and she was left alone with the now less threatening door. Her vows would always ring true; he did make her brave, every single day.

Opening it, Haley greeted Brooke, "Hey."

Seeing Haley in pajama pants and a white tank top, Brooke was relieved she hadn't interrupted anything. That was one thing she didn't need to see. "Hey."

They stayed there staring at each other for a long moment, until Haley finally offered for her to come in.

Brooke shook her head no, "No thanks. You mind if we sit out here?"

Haley shut the door behind her and motioned for Brooke to take a seat in one of the plastic outdoor chairs.

Another long moment passed.

"I'm sorry about Candice."

Putting two and two together, Haley figured that was the vapid blonde with the moronic comments, "It's not your fault Brooke."

"About Owen, Haley…"

"You don't have to tell me." Haley stopped her, the cool night air giving her goose bumps. Brooke didn't owe her anything.

Brooke fingered the ivy between them, "No, I do. There have been enough lies." She sucked in a breath. "I slept with him…a couple of times. Nothing serious. I met him at the bar once, then went back a few times."

"When?"

"When you and Chase had broken up, right after Christmas."

Haley was torn. She had no room to judge Brooke, none at all, but her loyalty to Lucas was a force to be reckoned with. "Does Lucas know?"

A light laugh escaped Brooke's lips, "No, though he might have suspected."

"Why?" Haley surprised herself by asking. Despite the weeks of separation and palpable tension, somehow she and Brooke could still fall into the same pattern of conversation.

"I was jealous…of you."

Turning to Brooke, Haley displayed her confusion.

Brooke continued, "This is really hard for me to admit more than the Owen thing. It's just there you were breaking free and trying new things, new paths. I guess I wanted to see what I was missing. I mean, I didn't know about Nathan, but you were single and I wanted a piece of that, an experiment."

"I don't blame you, Brooke. We were in high school, that's when we're supposed to make the most mistakes."

Brooke finally, for the first time in what felt like forever, looked directly at Haley, "But I loved Lucas, I still do. Did you ever love Chase?"

"Yes," Haley swiftly said, "I did love him, but after meeting Nathan I knew I was never in love with Chase. There is a difference Brooke and a one night stand or whatever you and Owen had won't show you that."

After a long pause, a tear slipped down Brooke's cheek, "Why didn't you tell me, Haley. Why didn't you trust me enough?"

Her own tears filled her eyes at the much more fragile change of subject and hurt in Brooke's voice. Haley had practiced this conversation in her head a million times, but it was just as raw as if it was happening again on her wedding day in that hospital room. "It wasn't about you Brooke. I was scared, I was in love, and I didn't want you to have to lie for me. It was never about not trusting you."

Swallowing a lump in her throat, Brooke looked down. "I think that's why I didn't tell you about Owen. I didn't want you to have to look at Lucas and have to lie. As much as it would have hurt you, I know you wouldn't have told him."

"You need to tell him, though, Brooke. Trust me on this, delaying it will only hurt you both more."

Brooke scoffed, "Yeah, I think I learned that lesson already."

Flinching, Haley kept silent.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean that to come out that way."

"I deserve that and more." Haley took a breath. "What I did and the lies I told don't compare to your situation, _but_ I'm scared for both you and Lucas. I want you both to be sure and open with each other. I always knew you both cared for the other more than Chase and I ever did, even if he can't see that right now."

A lone car cruised through the parking lot and they both allowed the intrusion to give them a pause to gather their thoughts.

In that time, Brooke knew she had to leave. This was becoming too familiar, too comforting, and all too real. She wasn't ready for it. "I better go." She stood and Haley didn't stop her.

"If you need anything, Brooke…" Haley smiled gently, trying not to push anything.

Brooke halted at the top of the stairs and looked back at her, "I'll see you in class?"

"Yeah, definitely." Haley agreed, taking that as a good sign.

She followed Brooke's retreating figure down her apartment steps and into the dark of the night before going back into the apartment.

The first day of school had thrown a lot at her, but as she entered her living room and she was reminded of who was in bed waiting for her, all she felt was complete and utter contentment.

No matter what, their days began and ended with each other and that was more than enough to give her the strength to take everything else one day at a time.

* * *

Cath


	14. Things I Don't Understand

**Author's Note:** Thank you so much for the reviews guys. I'm nervous about this chapter, it's HUGE. I said a while back I wanted this story to follow more of the show as we went further in and you'll get what I mean after you read this. ;) I'm speeding things up more than the show at least timeline wise, but at the same time I'm going to make up for it with showing you A LOT more than the show ever gave us with these developements. tries to reign in bitterness

Oh and I'm also FINALLY almost done with OYE and actually inspired to write it. It's so much fun writing hormonal Haley. :D There's also a bit of angst with NL coming up in OYE that was something I wasn't really planning, but it felt right. It's going to be hard on our Hales with them at odds for a bit.

All right, now back to this story. I hope you all enjoy it and I can't wait to hear what you think of it. This chapter has MATURE content so proceed with caution or glee. ;)

A big thanks to Ha for being an amazing beta and to Lo for giving me her seal of approval and encouragement. :)

Enjoy!!

**Chapter Fourteen "Things I Don't Understand"**

_How infinite is space, and who decides your fate  
Why everything will dissolve into sand  
How to avoid defeat, when truth and fiction meet  
Why nothing ever turns out as you plan_

_These are things that I don't understand  
Yeah, these are things that I don't understand_

_I can, and I can't decide  
Wrong, oh my wrong from right  
Day, oh my day from night  
Or dark, oh my dark from light  
I live, but I love this life_

_**Coldplay**_

Sitting in the lush grass on campus, leaning against a large Magnolia tree, Nathan couldn't keep his eyes off his wife who was relaxing in between his legs with her back against his chest, her mind delving into the pages of her English lit book.

His arms were wrapped around her, savoring their last moments before his practice began. This has been their routine every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for the last month since school began. It was their salvation in what was quickly becoming an overwhelming semester.

Of course, simply having Haley in his life was his salvation in general.

He'd found the love of his life at twenty and knew that everyday of their life together he'd wonder what he ever did to deserve that kind of luck.

"Stop that." She lightly scolded, still focused on her book.

He smirked, "Stop what? My hands are still visible." For good measure, he rubbed her taut stomach over her sunshine yellow cotton sundress.

Tilting her head back, she grinned, "Stop thinking those sweet thoughts or I'll be forced to jump you in front of everyone."

"First, why would I stop then? And second, how could you possibly know what I was thinking?"

Leaning up a bit, she kissed his cheek, "That's my secret." She teased, but in truth, it wasn't that big of a secret and they both knew it. She could read him like a book and vice versa, especially when they were in the other's embrace.

"Can you tell what I'm thinking now?"

She closed her book and moved to her side to have better access to him, "Something naughty I hope?"

Gazing down at her glowing face, he said what he was thinking out loud, "God, my girl's hot."

She giggled as he captured her lips, looping her arms around his neck to bring him even closer to her.

"Dear God, there are people around." Lucas groaned at the sight.

Pulling away, Haley blushed at Lucas and Nathan glowered at the interruption.

"Sorry, Luke."

"I'm not." Nathan added and they all knew he spoke the truth.

Lucas just rolled his eyes, "You ready, Hales?"

"Yep." She gave Nathan a lingering kiss, "Don't use all your energy at practice."

He took her hand and kissed the back of it when she stood to leave. "No worries. You always inspire a fresh burst."

Blowing him a last kiss, she looped her arm through Lucas' before he made another comment that would make it impossible to leave, and led the way to the parking lot.

…

Lucas turned onto the interstate headed back to Tree Hill with a yawning Haley beside him. "Jeez Hales, it's only three, how are you already tired?"

Covering her mouth for what felt like the millionth time today, Haley rearranged herself to face him. "Work killed me last night and Nathan and I went a couple rounds this morning before school."

She wasn't normally so crude; however, she loved getting a rise out of him.

"Ew, Jesus, what did I tell you about that?" He grimaced, trying to picture anything but Haley naked with his brother. "That's like incest or something."

"How is it incest when we're not blood related?"

"So I guess that blood oath we took when we were nine meant nothing to you, huh?" He teased, delving into memories of his grandmother as a way to escape the sex images.

Smiling, she rested her head back against the seat, "Aw, you know it did, but thanks to your brother's talents, I'm not thinking of you while we're in the shower." She stuck her tongue out at him while he paled at her words again.

"So, Brooke told me you and her have a class together. How's that going?" Lucas changed the subject, something he desperately had to do before his head exploded.

This was definitely not the subject Haley wanted to address, however.

"Um, ok I guess. Each class she sits a row closer. That has to mean something, right?"

Lucas nodded, "I think it does. She's been talking about you a lot more, bringing up memories of when you guys were little, and stuff. Maybe one day we can all double date," He chuckled at the image, knowing he and Haley would have to hide the knives from their significant others.

Offering him a weak smile, she turned back to the window, not wanting him to see the worry all over her face. For the past couple weeks, she'd wrestled with her conscience after the bomb Brooke had dropped on her and what it meant for their friendship. Had Brooke confided the indiscretion in hopes that they could resurrect their relationship or simply to alleviate her conscious?

No matter what the reason, Haley had to face Lucas every single day and she was reminded why she'd never wanted to confess her own sins to Brooke in the first place. It was a burden, a heavy one. Still, it wasn't her secret to confess and while she and Lucas shared something more than friendship and perhaps even family, she couldn't betray Brooke, not again.

All she could pray for is that Brooke found the courage to free herself, even if that meant running the risk of unwillingly freeing herself from Lucas as well.

Remembering something and not wanting to go back out once Lucas dropped her off, Haley poked at Lucas' arm, "Hey can we stop at Planned Parenthood?"

He groaned, "Please tell me there isn't something I need to know?"

"Lord no. I just need to get some birth control and my prescription ran out. It won't take long. You don't need an appointment. Oh and we can stop by that chicken finger place you love afterwards, my treat."

Glancing over at her hopeful face and feeling the rumble of his stomach, he caved, "Fine, but you're also getting me extra gravy."

"Deal." She grinned, sitting up more in her seat, ready to start telling him the fastest way. Wasting time by putting on a condom wasn't something she and Nathan could do anymore. The spoils of birth control definitely weren't lost on them.

…

"Hey Nate, you gonna make it to Poker tonight?" Blake, a teammate asked while pulling on a shirt in the locker room.

Taking his chain off his neck, Nathan undid the clasp, allowing his wedding ring to slip down the metal and fall into his palm, "Nah, man, not tonight sorry."

Skills shook his head, "Blake, Dawg, why'd you even try? Haven't you seen that hot piece of ass he goes home to every night?"

Nathan shot him a look while sliding his ring back where it belonged. "Dude, don't talk about her like that."

Slapping him on the shoulder, Skills grinned, "Sorry, Nate, but damn you have to admit you scored the trifecta."

"What's that? Lips, tits and ass?" Nathan ground out, not enjoying _his_ wife being thought of as a sex object. Only he got to see the Holy Grail underneath her clothes and no one else, even in their imaginations.

Skills opened his mouth in shock, "Damn that's a bit crass. Have some respect. She is your wife. I meant looks, brains, and personality. Get your dick out of the gutter, man."

Realizing he needed to reign in his jealousy, Nathan cracked a smile at his friend, "You're right, I did hit the trifecta."

Damien came in at that with a towel around his waist, "And he gets to hit that everyday and night."

Some guys high fived Damien as they passed by him and Nathan just ignored him as he left the locker room to do what all others wished they could do, screw his wife.

'_Damn, he was one lucky bastard.'_

…

Building legos with a little three year old boy, Lucas felt eyes on his back and relieved that Haley was ready, he happily twisted his head around only to find a bemused Peyton Sawyer with a head full of curls and a Led Zeppelin tee.

"You getting some practice in?" She joked, slipping her receipt of her yearly exam in her purse.

"If you must know, I was stalking you and got a little side tracked." He threw back, laughing at the little boy grinning at Peyton and blowing her a kiss. Since when did Nathan Scott start coming in pint size form?

Coming over to them, she knelt down and blew the boy a kiss back, "Now _you_ are going to steal a million hearts one day," She ruffled his hair, and Lucas smiled at the interaction.

"Jack, come on." The boy's mother called, "Thanks so much for watching him." She smiled at Luke and then at Peyton.

"My pleasure. Stay cool, little man."

Ignoring Luke, the boy stepped up his game and planted a big sloppy kiss on Peyton's cheek before running back to his mom and out the door with crimson cheeks.

That could definitely be Nathan and Haley's kid, Lucas thought.

"Well, I think you have an admirer." Lucas stood and went to take a seat.

She stood as well, but didn't sit down, "Well, let's wait about twenty years and see if he's still interested."

"Somehow, I think he probably will be."

Brushing off the compliment and that irresistible smile of his, Peyton took her keys out of her purse, "You waiting for Brooke?"

"I told you that I was stalking you."

She cocked her head to the side, "Hmm, I think Haley would kick your ass for that, but it kind of makes me feel like a rock star, so I can deal."

Laughing, "Well, not to burst your rocker dreams, but I'm just waiting on Hales. She's getting a refill of something I'd like to forget she even needs."

"Ah, got you. Ok, tell her I said hi and maybe next time we bump into each other it can be where they sell coffee and not condoms."

"Yeah, it is a little weird seeing you here. I'd love to be charming and say it's fate, but I'm a little afraid of what that would mean being in this place."

They both chuckled and then stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, almost willing the other to keep their conversation going yet when nothing came, Peyton bid another goodbye and left Lucas alone to wait on another blonde in his life.

Yet, even minutes later, their minds were still on the other. Neither understanding the pull between them that seemed to only grow stronger with each meeting.

…

"Hales?" Nathan called out to what he soon would discover was an empty apartment. Checking his watch, he figured she and Lucas' last class had run long or they'd stop to pick up some dinner.

"You should really lock the door." Dan announced his presence, running Nathan's blood cold.

"No shit. I see that now."

Chuckling, Dan shut the door, "I have it on good authority that you and your 'teenage bride' are the talk of the school. Are those regrets kicking in now that all the groupies know you're taken?"

Nathan smirked, "Have you seen my wife? Do you actually think any of those sluts even compare to her, Dan?"

"Variety is the spice of life, son." Dan smirked back.

Steeling himself, Nathan saw his mom and knew what he was about to say would hit deep, "I don't understand you, Dad. What about mom? Wasn't she enough for you? Would you have cheated on her?"

"I've said it before, but don't you ever compare your mother to this…this whatever she is."

"Haley, Haley James Scott is who she is, Dad, and that's who she's always going to be. So, either get used to that fact or stay the hell out of my life."

He really couldn't comprehend how his father didn't see the similarities in his mother and Haley. But maybe it was as simple as he couldn't allow himself to see it. Dan had buried his love and memories of his mother the day they laid her into the ground. The pain was far too deep, and in ignoring the pain, he'd turned into a bitter lonely man, something his mother would have never wanted or put up with.

Dan clenched his fists as his eyes darted to the fridge and saw pictures of Haley with both his sons spread all over it, "I'm only going to ask this once more. Is she pregnant Nathan? Is that why you're doing this?"

"Fuck, Dad, no she isn't and even if she was it's still none of your god damn business. But we will have kids someday and if you keep this shit up you'll never see them. Now get the hell out."

Before leaving, Dan spared one last glance on the center photo on the fridge. It had been taken in a pool, with Haley on Lucas' shoulders, leaning down to kiss Nathan and Lucas gazing up at her as if she walked on water.

That little bitch was taking everything from him.

…

"Mr. Scott?"

Lucas had grown very bored. He'd been there for almost an hour and had resorted to opening a tabloid and reading about some media-whoring actress who'd only become famous by who she screwed on the set. Is this really what chicks enjoy reading about?

"Mr. Scott?"

He looked up to find a plump nurse in purple scrubs staring at him. "Yeah? That's me. Is there a problem?"

She gave him a wary smile, "No, but Mrs. Scott would like to see you for a moment. Please follow me."

Unsettled, Lucas did as she said and was lead to an examination room, where he was told Haley was alone. Opening the door, Lucas covered his eyes as he walked in, "Hales, if you're in stirrups, I'm gonna freak."

She said nothing back.

Removing his hand, he was shocked to discover that she was in stirrups, albeit a sheet covering her, but what shocked him even more was the hospital gown raised over her bare abdomen. "Um, Hales? What's going on?"

Emotionless, Haley finally turned her head on the pillow to face him, "Sit with me?"

Silently, he pulled up a stool beside her and took her hand, the doctor coming in as soon as he did, with a nurse following behind him.

The doctor smiled at the pair and sitting in front of Haley's legs, he took a large wand from the nurse. "All right Haley, like I mentioned before this is a transvaginal ultrasound. At this stage, it will help us get a better look."

Lucas was utterly confused; 'stage', was he talking about cancer? He felt Haley squeeze his hand and he did the same back.

Haley closed her eyes as she felt the foreign object enter her.

Turning away from what the doctor was doing, Lucas found himself staring at a black and white screen with shades of gray that shifted as he assumed the doctor moved whatever that he put inside Haley.

"Pause right there." The doctor instructed the nurse and she did as she was told.

Removing the wand from his patient, the doctor then removed his gloves and covered the sheet back over Haley. Then, he went to the screen and pointed. "Right there, is the yolk sac and right next to this area is your baby, which is about the size of a blueberry at this point. Based on the position and size of the yolk sac as well as the fetus, I'd say you're further along than we thought. About six to seven weeks."

In a state of complete shock, Lucas looked at Haley, who was glued to the screen, showing no sign of emotion or attempt to make conversation with the doctor. Stepping up, he took control for what he knew she was unable to do.

"She was on birth control though."

The doctor smiled kindly at whom he assumed was her husband, "Mr. Scott, right?" Lucas nodded. "The pill is not a hundred percent; the only sure form of birth control is abstinence."

"Well, is the baby, ok? I mean she was still taking the pill all this time."

"Haley was on a low estrogen form and while it's not advised, from what I can tell the baby is developing perfectly normal. There can be a slight increased risk of birth defects, but I really don't believe you will have an issue. This happens all the time. In fact, the pills are most likely why she never noticed a missed period. Any bleeding she had, which she surely assumed was a period, was probably much lighter, but she thought nothing of it."

A tad worried, the doctor then focused on Haley, "Mrs. Scott I know this has to come as a shock and if you have any questions feel free to call or stop by any time. We can set up regular appointments here, if you wish, or we can refer you to an OBGYN." Given her age and reaction, he knew this wasn't planned and unfortunately, he experiences the same scenario on a daily basis. At least she was married and seemed to have a very supportive partner.

Haley's only response was a brief glance to the doctor before focusing back onto the frozen screen.

Lucas squeezed her hand again and gave the doctor a grateful look, "Thank you doctor. I'm sure she'll be fine once we get home and she has some time."

Closing the chart and filling out a prescription, he looked to the nurse, "Print out the image and make them a copy." He then turned back to Lucas and ripped off the top page from the pad, handing it to him, "Here's a script for some pre-natal vitamins. Make sure she takes them with food, as they can trigger nausea, especially in the beginning."

"Thank you." Lucas took it before being handed the first picture of his niece or nephew from the nurse.

Ten minutes later, he'd managed to convince Haley to get dressed, check her out, and get her in the car.

She gripped the picture of her child, her eyes boring into it as they had in the examination room.

"Hales, you have to say something…_anything_."

"How could I've not seen it?' She finally asked, still entranced by the image before her, confusion invading her every thought.

"I don't know, Hales. Those pills probably screwed with you a bit."

She nodded, "My nipples have been killing me and I haven't felt the greatest," Her quiet voice admitted, no shame or qualms about divulging the first detail to Luke and to his credit and love for her, he didn't allow it to phase him.

This wasn't about being forced to see her as a sexually active woman, it was about seeing her as a mother, and he'd never cause her any hesitation in confiding in him no matter how uncomfortable certain details had the potential to make him.

She needed him and he needed her to let whatever she was feeling out in the open. The weight of the world had landed on both of their shoulders, but hers was obviously far heavier and he wasn't sure how to even begin to help her besides simply being there.

"Hales, I know you weren't expecting this…"

'Not expecting this?" Her voice rose as she interrupted him, "I walk into a clinic to get pills, so that I wouldn't get pregnant and I walk out over six weeks _pregnant_. I just don't get it. We've been careful. Jesus, Luke, I'm eighteen, I almost died a couple months ago, I just got married, I work at a bar and now I'm a mom?" Her speech was rapid and Luke struggled to grasp all she'd said.

As her last words sunk in, though, he took pause. "Haley…this doesn't have to mean you're a mom, if you don't want it too."

She blinked in surprise at his statement and unconsciously her hand fell to her still flat abdomen, as if her body, her heart already wanted to protect what lay beneath. "No, Luke, no.' Her head shook with her stance. "I can't even explain this, I don't know why I feel this, when I've only known for less than hour, but I can't do that. I have no clue how Nathan is going to take this, but it's still a piece of him, of us."

She halted, fighting a losing battle with her emotions, "I can't destroy that, even if it might…," with tears filling her eyes, "destroy us." She finished, a sob escaping her throat when the reality truly sunk in.

Pulling the car over immediately, Lucas swiftly undid his seatbelt and hers as well and pulled her into his arms, her tears soaking his neck, "Hales it won't, I promise. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but you and Nathan have something most expectant parents don't have at your age or any age for that matter— true love. A baby won't change that."

She cried for a few more minutes, releasing everything she'd been feeling since the doctor had told her the news. The mere shock had allowed her to hold it together before, but now with her best friend, she couldn't hold it in. She ached for temporary comfort that she knew Lucas could give her.

When her tears subsided, she pulled back, and he cupped her cheek, "You're going to be an amazing mother, Haley James Scott."

Sniffling, she weakly smiled, "You think?"

There wasn't an ounce of hesitation, "I know."

…

Taking the biggest breath of her life, Haley let herself into her home, ready to face Nathan.

Stepping inside, though, she wasn't completely sure he was there. "Nathan?"

She noticed a faint glow coming from the bedroom and followed the light. It brought her to her bathroom where a naked Nathan was waiting for her in bubble filled bath with candles all around him. "What did you do?" She laughed, clearly delighted and for a split second forgetting her troubles.

Smirking, he handed her a wine glass, "Just something I know will get me laid, but I was beginning to worry that you wouldn't show." He smirked as she stood beside the tub and accepted the glass.

"Hmm, I would think by now you would realize I'm a sure thing." She winked bringing the glass to her lips, an alarm in her head going off before she tasted the liquid.

Nathan watched her put the glass on the counter, untouched, "It's your favorite brand, baby."

She glanced at the glass and then back at him, "Just not thirsty." Deciding to get his focus off the wine, she slipped her cotton dress over her head, leaving her in only a tiny white thong.

"Get that ass in here…_now_." He half ordered, half growled when she did a little twirl for him.

Yeah, this wasn't what they should be doing. She had gone over how she would tell him a zillion times in her head, the last ten minutes in Lucas' car. Even figured in the crying, the screaming, the disbelief and hopefully the understanding, but what she didn't expect was her husband to do something so incredibly romantic.

There was no need to ruin this moment, this night he had planned for them. It might be the last peaceful one that would have for awhile anyway and honestly, she was grateful for the excuse to wait. It would give her more time to find the right words and hopefully the right moment, preferably when one of them wasn't naked.

Sliding her thong down her legs, she stepped out of them and took his outstretched hand while dipping a cautious leg to test the water.

"Oh none of that," He yanked her all the way into the water on top of his body, the water splashing around them.

"Nathan! You're making a mess." She giggled while he moved her to straddle him, letting his rigid erection make itself known against her belly.

His hands gripped her waist when she began to automatically rub herself against his length, soft moans falling from her lips. "It's about to get a whole lot messier, Baby," He promised as her lips crashed against his in a searing kiss.

Her body was ablaze with lust as their tongues battled and teeth clashed. There was no holding her back. She was taking control and they both were getting off on it, literally.

Pushing her back a bit, he searched her darkened orbs, "Hales…damn are you okay?"

She took his bottom lip between her teeth and bit down hard, his pelvis jumping up into hers in surprise, "I will be when you start fucking me."

He chuckled, but grabbed both her tits showing his obvious satisfaction in her statement, "You know I was going for romance with all this?"

She silenced him with another frenzied kiss. She'd always been turned on by him, in ways she didn't think was even healthy most days, but the last couple weeks she'd been more demanding in their sexual escapades, more forceful than ever. Now, though, she knew it was surely due to her hormones and tonight was no exception. As soon as her body came in contact with his it was like something snapped inside her and her mission was to get off as soon and as many times as possible.

And when he did things like this, trying to make their time even more special, it set her heart soaring right along with her libido. There weren't enough words in the English language describe her love and desire for this man who was her husband and her world.

A few tears spilled down her cheeks when they became one, but they were lost as his wet hands framed her face, their lips molded together, his eyes telling her in a million ways how much he loved her.

Tearing herself away from him she arched her back and he took a nipple into his hot awaiting mouth, sucking like there was no tomorrow.

Her hips twirled around before rising up and crashing down in a hypnotic rhythm that was only meant for him and again he was struck by the same thoughts he had leaving the locker room. He was one lucky bastard.

"Fuck," he breathed against her breast as she increased her speed and rode him hard and fast, more water splashing to the floor.

His head fell back against the tiles and he took in the glorious view of her soaking wet tits, smooth stomach, and thanks to the merciful dispersion of the bubbles, her completely bare center sliding up and down his fortunate shaft.

She'd shocked him the week before with what she deemed her 'Brazilian' adventure and he'd blown his load as soon as his mouth began to christen the new look. He didn't think it was possible for her to ever get any fucking hotter, but damn, everyday she seemed to do something to prove him wrong.

Gripping his shoulders for support, Haley grinded herself hard against him, spurring her explosion on, and screaming his name in ecstasy as she did just that.

There was nothing on this planet more satisfying than seeing his wife unravel before his eyes. He shoved himself hard into her, taking her hips and the control. With her cries of satisfaction and her nails now racking down his wet chest, he was a goner and all it took was one last thrust and he began shooting inside her, jerking involuntary a few times to fill her with all he had.

Completely relaxed and drunk off of incredible sex, Haley allowed herself to fall against his chest, lazily laying her head on his shoulder, not making a single move to release him from within her tight walls.

He kissed her shoulder, "So I take it you liked the surprise?"

She smiled against his skin, "Mmm…god yes."

They stayed that way for a good ten minutes until the water cooled beyond their comfort level and Haley started to shiver in his arms.

Stepping out first, Haley grabbed two fluffy blue towels, tossing one to a now emerged Nathan and they both dried themselves before tossing the towels in the hamper.

Haley was just about to walk into the bedroom to grab one of his t-shirts to wear, when he grabbed her wrist to stop her, "C'mere."

Raising an eyebrow first, she allowed him to guide her to the mirror where he was now studying her reflection. "What?"

He smirked, "Does great sex make your boobs grow bigger because correct me if I'm wrong, Hales, but yours are definitely getting bigger."

Panicked, her situation was thrust back into her mind, love and lust no longer keeping it at bay. She followed his gaze in the mirror. They were bigger and she wanted to slap herself again for not noticing this as a possible pregnancy symptom. But when you're not expecting to get pregnant, you don't really go looking for symptoms. Her nipples were much more pronounced as well; that she had noticed along with the sensitivity, but she'd shrugged it off as a side effect of birth control. "Yeah, I guess they are" she softly agreed, turning around to face him, "Listen, Nathan…"

The phone ringing interrupted her and as she watched him run to retrieve it, she wished she hadn't felt thankful for the reprieve. She had to tell him and tell him soon because holding off would only make things worse. He didn't need to be left in the dark and she didn't need to go through this without him.

Steadying herself, she went into the bedroom to get it over with when she found him sitting on the edge of the bed, holding the phone, staring at it in shock or maybe confusion. She couldn't get a clear read.

"Nathan?" She came around to stand in front of him, "What's wrong."

He looked up at her, "Um, we need to get dressed."

"Ok, but can you tell me who that was first?"

His face hardened a bit, fighting against any emotion, "My dad had a heart attack."

Haley's eyes widened, "Oh, Nathan. I'm so sorry."

He dismissed her sentiment and got up to throw some clothes on. After he was dressed, he turned back to her still naked and frozen in place, "aren't you getting dressed?"

She tugged at her bottom lip, "Do you want me there? I mean your Dad doesn't exactly like me. I don't want to cause any problems."

His face now softened and he reached for her, taking her in his arms, holding her close, "Hales, you're my wife…I'm never going to hide that." He whispered against her damp honey locks.

Titling her head, she met his gaze, "Whatever you need, that's all I care about."

Leaning down, he met her lips for a tender kiss, "Thank you."

Her fingers came up and rubbed his forehead gently, easing his worry lines away, "You never have to thank me Nathan." Giving him a reassuring smile, she left his embrace to find some clothes.

As she did that, Nathan remembered his fight with his father, but with his wife's soothing, he felt no guilt. He could never feel even an ounce of guilt for what he'd found with Haley or defending it to anyone. Their love was unconditional where as his father's was anything but and while he feared for his father's death no matter what their history, he knew the blame was solely on the old man's shoulders.

His anger, his bitterness was a constant. It always remained no matter what he achieved in his life or what he and Lucas had achieved in theirs.

"You ready?" Her gentle voice took him out of his thoughts and he was struck by how beautiful she looked in just jeans, a sweatshirt and her hair pulled up in a clip.

With her by his side, he would never follow in his father's footsteps.

Fingers intertwined, they left for the uncertainty that awaited them at the hospital. But unlike the last time they were in that setting, waiting for a greater power to decide life or death, they had each other.

…

Standing in front of the hospital, Nathan simply stared at it for a moment while Haley held onto his hand tightly. "I know this is hard, Nathan. I may hate my own father, but I still can't imagine losing him."

Nathan nodded, "Kind of twisted isn't it? That no matter what they do to us, they always have a hold."

"I guess that's part of being a family, for better or worse."

He sighed and turned to her, "I guess, but you're the only family I truly need, Hales."

With her free hand, she caressed his cheek, trying not to let what he'd said affect her. "I love you."

He didn't hear the fear, didn't hear the depth, and despair in her declaration. He'd told her she was the only family he needed and here she was with a third member of their family growing inside her. _'Would he still love her when he found out?' 'Would he welcome this baby?'_

In her heart, she knew he would, but fear was a dangerous thing and it thrived on even the tiniest seed of doubt, whether that doubt was founded or not.

"I love you too, Hales."

With a soft smile, she gave him the final nudge to get him to go inside. "It's all going to be okay, I promise."

A minute later, they were headed through the automatic doors of the hospital, Haley bracing herself with each step for what lay ahead for her father in law…and her family of three.

Cath


	15. Take The Weight Of The World

**Author's Note**: Hey guys, I have a big treat. I have 4 updates I did this week, so we have 2 chapters of this story and 2 of RA coming up. I really hope you enjoy them.

Now onto this update. This chapter is all NHL and how their lives are changing and yet connecting even more. We get Nathan's pregnancy reaction, but don't get too content because his fears will start overwhelming him later on and the drama will come. Though, remember this isn't going to be some contrived Nathan screws up his marriage arc. This is about Nathan coming to terms with his past, present and future and while it will cause problems, it does not taint the love NH share for one second. So have faith. :) Next chapter is NH, NHLP, LP, BH, & NH. It's fully loaded. Hehe.

Thank you all again for the amazing reviews. Your support, even if it's a simply "good job" motivates me. Ok, well enjoy and I can't wait to hear what you think.

A big thanks to Ha for beta-ing and to all the NH thread girls for cracking me up everytime I go in there. hugs.

**Chapter Fifteen "Take The Weight Of The World"**

_Too tired to fold my hands  
And throw them at your feet  
Let me stay here for awhile  
I don't want to go  
There's nowhere else to go away for me_

_So take the weight of the world  
Off of me for awhile  
Be my peace  
Be my light  
Be to me the hiding place tonight_

You take away everything I have known  
Everything I can not have  
And all that I want  
All that I need is waiting here

_**Lifehouse**_

Haley and Nathan rushed in, hand in hand, but when Haley saw Lucas' tortured face, she ran to him, pulling her into his arms, though her eyes still found her husband's.

She leaned back after a moment and felt Nathan beside them. Lucas looked into their questioning eyes, "It's not good," He whispered.

Nathan reeled back as if he'd been punched; feelings of relief, guilt, love, and hate all began to overpower him.

He'd hated his father most of his life, wished him dead more times than he could count, but the thought of him actually dying brought him back to the five year old boy who wanted nothing more than his father's love.

Lucas shot him a look and they both were acutely aware they were feeling the exact same way.

Haley looked between the brothers, unsure of what to say or do, with their bodies tense and a million emotions flooding through their eyes.

An hour later there will still no answers and a weary looking Deb finally appeared before them, her focus solely on Nathan and Lucas. "You should go see him," She said simply and they nodded, Nathan kissing Haley's hand before he left and Lucas giving her a warm smile.

Haley stood and offered her mother-in-law a comforting smile, "Is there anything I can get you?"

Deb's exhaustion gave way to disdain, "You have them both so fooled."

Haley blinked in surprise, "Excuse me?"

"My sons. You have this sickening hold on them that's only going to destroy them."

"I love them both, Mrs. Scott. I would never hurt them." Her voice was quiet yet firm.

Deb laughed, shaking her head, "What the hell do you think this is Haley? Where do you think we are?"

Not sure what kind of answer Deb wanted, Haley stayed silent.

"This is all your fault. You did this to Dan, and you're the reason my sons are about to lose their father," She spat, losing control, her body shaking.

On instinct, Haley backed up, "Mrs. Scott, I didn't mean…"

"You didn't mean? You didn't mean to cause my husband so much stress by taking his son away that he collapsed on our kitchen floor. Or you didn't mean to open your legs to both my sons and trap them in your disgusting little web"

Haley tried to walk away from her, but Deb grabbed her arm, sending the young blonde stumbling back towards her,

"MOM!"

Deb whipped around to find Lucas staring at her aghast.

Storming up, he jerked her hand off Haley's arm and took her into his side, "Are you ok?" He whispered and she nodded.

Sickened, Deb glared at Haley before storming away.

Luke turned her in his arms and took her face in his hands, "She didn't hurt you did she?"

"No, just scared me," She sighed, her nerves on edge and Luke felt her stress level peaking.

Carefully, he led her to sit down, "Haley rest here and don't get up, ok? All this stress isn't good for the…" His eyes fell to her stomach and she smiled softly at his concern.

"I'll be fine. How's your dad?"

Lucas slumped back in a chair beside her, "He's got a fifty/fifty chance." Haley took his hand and squeezed it.

Wordlessly Nathan came back into their view and took the empty seat next to his wife; her free hand took his as well, comforting him, as she was with Lucas.

For the next three hours, the young Scotts waited, with Haley, as always, their only form of strength. She didn't feel burdened, but simply helpless. It seemed she could always find a way to fix them both, to make them smile, but now she was at a loss. They both needed her for the same reason, their father-- a man who had endlessly tried to break them.

How was she supposed to conquer all those demons on her own? She was only one girl, but she was also the girl that loved them both desperately, in two completely different ways, but desperately all the same. And a part of her felt a swell of pride that she was the only one who had the power to save them both, just as they had with her.

She just prayed to God, she didn't let them down.

One week later…

Dan was alive, but barely and the same could be said for his sons. Both had become zombies, getting lost in the painful memories of their past. Dan facing his immortality had Nathan and Lucas both facing their own, which somehow reverted them back to the scared little boys they used to be, along with their mother further bringing them down with her daily rants and guilt trips.

Haley sighed, leaning down to throw a blanket over her best friend and brother in law.

She'd invited him to stay with them that first night at the hospital and he'd never left, and neither Nathan nor her objected. They all needed each other right now, that much was very clear, even if nothing else was.

Standing up a bit too fast, Haley felt dizzy and put her hand to her head hoping it would subside.

"What's wrong?" His voice was so soft she wasn't sure if she hadn't just imagined it, but turning around she found her husband staring at her intently from the kitchen.

"Not feeling too hot."

He cracked a smile at that, the first one she'd seen on his face in a week and he let his eyes roam her body, from her tight jeans to her tiny tank top, her breasts straining against the material. And his smile turned into a full blown smirk. "Then you should check out my view."

Her body heated and she slowly made her way to him, cupping his face in her tiny delicate hands, "I've missed that smirk."

He pressed his forehead to hers as his hands took her waist, pulling her even closer, the mood shifting when he let out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry."

Her fingers eased the tension lines of his forehead and she gave him a beautiful smile, "Don't. For better or worse, right?" He pecked her lips, "Besides, I like taking care of you Nathan."

Sadness washed over his face. "No one's ever taken care of me," He brokenly admitted and she swallowed a lump of emotion at his words.

Deb and Dan provided everything Nathan and Lucas could have wanted financially, but emotionally they'd left them starved. They rarely either acknowledged it, neither wanting to get near those wounds, but this week had been different.

She'd known Lucas since he was eight and after all of this time, he'd never opened up as he was now.

In the mornings, he'd lay his head on her shoulder as they watched the sunrise, the cruelty of his childhood chilling her bones. Sometimes he would mention Nathan specifically and how Deb had ignored him for the most part, but that even when she did try to bond with him Dan had put a stop to it, insisting she was not his mother and Nathan was his and his alone.

At night, she'd hold Nathan in her arms, his head on her chest, their fingers intertwined over her stomach. He rarely spoke, just holding onto her for dear life, but every now and then, he'd let an 'I hate him' fall from his lips and tears would fall down her cheeks in return.

Even half dead, Dan Scott still had a hold on his sons and it appeared that the possibility of them never being able to confront him and their issues only increased that hold.

Lucas turned and mumbled something in his sleep and Haley backed away from Nathan, taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom.

She guided him on the edge of the bed and pulled his shirt over his head, before doing the same to her own, her braless breasts calling out his name.

He attempted to grab her, but she stepped away and undid her jeans, shimmying them down her legs along with her panties.

His widened eyes took in her beauty. She was flawless and her curves were what men's dreams were made of. Till his last breath, he'd never get enough of letting his hands trail along them, a pathway that was his and his alone.

She went to him then; let him take her body in his arms, his lips seizing her breasts, sucking, licking, feasting on the ample flesh.

Moaning she threw her head back, as he bit down on her nipple, the air crackling with desire. He needed her, all of her and she needed him just as much.

Pulling him up, she yanked down his short and boxers, and lightly pushed him back to his previous position on the edge of the bed.

He took her by the waist and guided her back between his legs, lavishing her chest once more.

One leg at a time she straddled him, shocking him when she grabbed his member, holding him steady before engulfing him in her slick tight walls. This wasn't the time for foreplay. Being one was all that their bodies and hearts desired.

He groaned splaying his hands across her back, holding her tightly to him. "God, you feel so good, baby." His husky voice in her ear sent a shiver through her body.

Leaning back, she fused her lips to his, her tongue wrapping around his in a delicious dance as she began to move her body against him and up and down his shaft.

This time shocking her, he stood with her in his arms and turned them around, climbing to the middle of the bed on his knees before lowering her on her back, never slipping out of her.

He hovered over her, pressing her further into the mattress, and his hands took both of hers and intertwined their fingers above her head as he started to move slowly inside her.

He crushed his mouth against hers, increasing his speed when she moved her limber legs to his shoulders, urging him deeper while he pushed forward, her own knees at her shoulders.

Her body exploded within minutes, his hard, long, pounding thrusts providing too much pleasure for her to bear. She screamed his name into his mouth, her nails digging into the back of his hands as they still were being held above her.

"Open your eyes," He ordered against her lips and she obeyed instantly, clenching around him in response to the blatant want shining out to her.

Being buried inside his wife was indescribable, nothing in this world could ever compare, and when he met her wide chocolate eyes reflecting his own love for her he lost it, spilling himself completely into her warm welcoming body.

A few breathless moments later, he backed away to release her legs and collapsed beside her, pulling her into his side. "God, I love you, Hales." He kissed the top of her head.

She snuggled further into him, her cheek against his still rapidly beating heart, an arm draped across his waist, and a leg in between his. This was peace, what she yearned for whenever they were apart, well that and his unbelievable body.

"I love you, too." She whispered, placing a soft kiss above his heart before laying her head back down.

She felt his body surrender to exhaustion not a minute later and a smile spread across her face, knowing that she had the power to give him the same peace he provided her.

But then her peace was shattered as queasiness began to stir within, bringing unimaginable amounts of guilt along with it.

It had been a week since she'd found out and each passing day ate away at her, but it has been hard. It wasn't as if this had been any normal week. She'd been consumed with carrying both brothers' emotional burdens, while her own had taken a back seat.

Lucas had been a bit mindful, making sure to ask how she was feeling and if she needed anything. He didn't press her on why she hadn't told Nathan because he knew that reason as clearly as she did—Dan.

At the thought of her father-in-law, her nausea peaked and she slipped out of Nathan's arms as carefully as she could and made a beeline for their bathroom. Somehow, she managed to shut the door quietly before heaving into the toilet. It had been a close call.

A second later, the other door to the bathroom opened and a shirtless Lucas stepped in, "Oh shit. Damn it, Haley, you're naked," He grumbled, covering his eyes.

She tried to respond, but she had matters that were more pressing, as she now began to dry heave—her stomach painfully empty.

Concern trumped discomfort and Lucas was at her side in an instant running soothing circles on her bare back. After a bit when she began to simply whimper against the cool porcelain, Lucas grabbed a towel off a nearby rack and gently wrapped it around her shoulders.

"Thanks," She mumbled, semi-coherently.

He nodded and stroked her hair, "Hales, you want some ginger ale?"

She shook her head, "I don't want to mo…"

The words died when she heard the doorknob turn and Nathan enter, "What the fuck?" He looked between his half-naked brother and his very naked wife, save the towel.

Lucas jumped up, thankful that unlike Haley, Nathan had managed to put some underwear on, "Um, I heard Haley get sick. She must have eaten something bad."

Still a tad bewildered at the sight before him, Nathan brushed it away as concern for Haley took over. He knelt down where Lucas had been, "Baby?" He brushed some sweat slicked strands of her hair away from her face, "Are you ok?"

"No," Was all she could get out and Nathan and Lucas thought she was about to get sick again, but a sob escaped her instead.

"Jesus, Hales…Baby, what's wrong?" Nathan tried again before glancing at his brother for any clue.

He gave him none, but he also didn't meet his eyes.

"Baby?" He coaxed one more time.

"STOP SAYING BABY!" She screamed, stunning both brothers into utter disbelief. Lucas was shocked she was going to out herself this way and Nathan was completely dumbfounded. All he knew was that she loved it when he called her that.

She began crying again and fell back from the toilet, pulling her knees up to her chest, her towel falling.

Nathan whipped around to his brother, "Get her a fucking blanket!"

She started crying harder, powerless as the flood gates unceremoniously opened. How she went from making love to her husband to bawling on her bathroom floor—naked—in front of him and Lucas she had no idea. Maybe this is what they meant by mood swings and heaven help her if this didn't feel like this was the mother load.

And on cue, now she felt guilty once again, not from hiding her pregnancy, but for worrying Nathan. As if he didn't have enough on his plate.

Slowly she opened her swollen eyes, "I'm so sorry, Nathan…you don't need this."

He moved beside her and guided her now shivering body into his arms and against his chest, resting his chin atop her head, "Hales…if you need me, I'm here, no matter what." He promised, rubbing his hands up and down her arms to warm her up.

Silently, Lucas returned handing Nathan a beige blanket and couldn't help but smile as his brother enveloped it over his best friend before returning his arms around her.

It still amazed Lucas how Haley had changed him. Of course, maybe it wasn't so much as changing him as it was awakening a part no one knew existed, not even his brother.

He was still an ass to everyone else most days, with no regard for anyone else's feelings, but with her he was different and somehow that made what they shared even more special and to Lucas--sacred.

Casting a parting glance at his sister-in-law, he left them alone, knowing this was the moment that would change Nathan's life forever.

Nathan stroked his wife's cheek when she lifted her head to meet his eyes, "Please tell me what's wrong."

She nodded and took a breath, "I don't know how it happened, Nathan, but…"

"But what?" He urged gently.

"I'm pregnant."

He stared back at her, his complete shock evident, taking a good five minutes to speak. "Are you…are you sure?"

Again, she nodded; this time hot tears sliding down her cheeks, "Yes."

"How far?" He murmured and Haley couldn't get a gauge on what he was feeling.

"About eight weeks now. I found out last week, but with your father…"

His hand left her cheek and went to run through his hair as his head fell back into nothing. "Lucas knows, doesn't he?"

"He was with me, it wasn't by choice." She quietly admitted, growing more terrified when he wouldn't look at her, but he still held her close. That had to be something.

"What are we going to do?" He finally spoke after several more minutes, the silence slowly killing Haley.

She wasn't quite sure what he meant by that, "I'm keeping it Nathan, maybe that's not fair without talking to you, but…"

His lips cut her off and she choked back a sob at the fierce emotion she felt flowing out of him and into her.

After a few tantalizing moments, he backed away and rested his forehead against hers, "Hales, that's _our_ kid."

She smiled through her tears, "That's why I couldn't either."

He kissed her tenderly, then pulled back, the worry sinking in, "I just don't know how we're going to pull it off. We barely have enough money to support ourselves."

"Me either, but I know we can, as long as we stick together." She wasn't sure where her sudden confidence was coming from. Maybe it was from having Nathan not run out on her, maybe it was because she'd had a week to absorb it, but she knew they could and would survive this.

He stood, pulling her up with him and led her into the bedroom, where she slipped on his earlier discarded t-shirt and crawled into bed with him.

She smiled when he spooned her, one of her favorite positions to fall asleep in. He raised up slightly and laid his cheek against hers,

"Have you been getting sick all week?" He whispered, his hand moving from her upper thigh to her stomach, an unfamiliar surge of emotion coursing through him knowing that his child lay beneath.

Spontaneously grinning as he rubbed her stomach, Haley laid her hand atop his, "Off and on."

"I want to be there Haley, you feel sick, tell me. You're not going to go through this alone, I swear to you."

Her hand moved to caress up and behind her to stroke his cheek, "You're not your father, Nathan. You don't have to convince me." He hadn't mentioned his dad, but Haley knew that's where his sudden declaration came from. "You're going to be an amazing dad."

"Dad? Damn, that sounds strange."

"Almost as strange as mom," She agreed. "Everything is going to be ok, isn't it? I mean I know you're not happy about this, but maybe in time you will be."

He paused, still dazed at the news, but he pushed that aside, letting the good that could come from it fuel his words. "Whatever happens, we'll get through it together, Haley. I love you and I promise I've never been happier." He kissed her cheek and laid his head back down on the end of her pillow.

In truth, he was happy. He wanted Haley to have his children more than anything. Of course, the timing he'd never expected, but the thought of her carrying his child filled him with a sense of love and pride that he'd never experienced.

Still, that didn't mean he wasn't completely freaked out and completely terrified. But he knew she was too and he couldn't add to that. Plus, when she'd told him, he'd immediately thought of his mother and how terrified she must have been. He couldn't run away, he couldn't hide from this, not when his mother had been so strong and wanted him so much.

In an instant, he could see that Haley loved this baby already and that was all he needed to face this with her, no matter how hard it would be.

A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts and shook Haley out of her near sleep haze.

Lucas cracked the door and peeked in, "You guys ok?"

Nathan sat up and Haley turned in his arms and kept her head lowered in his lap. "Yeah. I guess you're gonna be an Uncle." He smirked.

Luke breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm glad it went over well, well I mean not that I expected you to be an ass, but you never know and that came out wrong, I just mean…"

"Luke." Nathan stopped him with a small laugh, "It's fine. Honestly, I don't blame you, but I am a bit worried our kid is going to be a rambler since its mom and Uncle both seem to carry that gene."

Haley pinched his leg beneath the covers, "Ow."

"Yeah, well I'm sure he'll get the smart ass gene from you," She looked up at him with a mocking tone.

"He?" He smiled down at her.

"Just a feeling," She shrugged, "But no getting your hopes up."

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "Hey, I'm all for a girl, if she's just like you."

She leaned up and pecked his lips, "I love you."

Lucas groaned, "Did either of you notice that I have a laptop in my hands?"

They both faced him and finally took notice.

"Good, now that I have your attention," He came and sat on the edge of the bed and placed the open laptop on Nathan's legs so they could both view it.

"And this is?" Nathan motioned to the screen.

"Your new house." Lucas said simply, but when he got no response he continued, "Well, not new. It's an older house, off campus, but it's for rent."

Haley gazed at the image. It was a quaint three bedroom wood house painted yellow with white trim and bay windows. She was falling hard for it at first sight, until she scrolled down and saw the price, which was almost twice what they were paying for the apartment.

"Luke, we can't afford this."

He grinned, "That's where the third bedroom comes in and my monthly allowance."

Haley glanced up at her husband, their eyes silently agreeing that they both love it. Haley turned to Luke again, "Are you sure Lucas? I mean, you'd be leaving the dorm to move in with a married couple with a baby on the way. Not to mention using your money on rent instead of whatever."

"Yeah, I mean Luke, we'd love it, but it's a lot to ask of you." Nathan added.

"Listen, you guys are my family, my only real family. You're going to need help not just financially and honestly, that would make me happier than living in some tiny ass dorm with my annoying ass techno loving roommate. Besides, I get a full reimbursement on living expenses I paid the school, so I'm all good with money."

Haley felt tears prick her eyes, "I know you were supposed to live with Chase in that nice apartment. You sure you still don't want to do that?"

He laughed, "With a guy that barely speaks to me? No thanks. Plus, like I said this isn't just about my living situation it's about being there for you two. That trumps all, Hales."

She beamed, moving from Nathan and flying into Lucas' arms, nearly knocking him off the bed. "I love you, I love you, I love you," She giggled, feeling more weight fall from her shoulders.

Nathan pulled her back down to him, "All right, none of that when we start living together. I might start having some disturbing dreams."

Haley slapped his arm playfully.

"So we good?" Lucas asked his brother. "We move in a month."

Nathan bumped fists with him, "We're definitely good, thanks to you."

Lucas just smiled as he jacked the controller and flipped the television to ESPN.

"Ugh," Haley moaned, "Between you two, I'm so screwed with TV."

The brothers simply smirked and Haley sank back in her husband's embrace, sleep coming to her within minutes.

Noticing she was passed out, Lucas nudged his brother's leg, "I'm proud of you."

"For knocking up your best friend?" He joked.

Lucas grimaced, "I don't need that visual. Anyway, I meant for not freaking. I can't say I'd do the same."

"You're not married to Haley." Nathan answered, smiling down at his sleeping wife. "But don't be too proud, I'm still freaking out on the inside."

"Started to scare me there for a minute," Lucas laughed. "So, you really ok with me living with you guys?"

Nathan kept his smile. "Yeah, like you said, we're going to need help, especially Haley when I'm at away games. It means a lot, Luke. Although, Haley and I are going to christen every surface of that house."

"Ok, gross. Just please stay out of my room." He got off the bed and headed for the door.

"No promises." Nathan threw back with a smirk.

Lucas shook his head as he walked down the hall back to the couch. The next year of their lives was going to be hard, but with the three of them, together, he hoped they would come out unscathed and even closer.

And he didn't miss the fact that this new baby had already switched their focus from the depressing past to what the future could bring.

Yep, there was no way he wasn't doing the right thing.

Family was everything, after all and Lucas had no doubt their generation _would_ get it right.

Cath


	16. One Thing Is For Sure

**Author's Note:** Update two of this story. **Please make sure you read Chapter Fifteen before this, since they were updated on the same day**.

This chapter is VERY important to this story, it sets up a lot. It starts off with a dream and yes it's a dream so don't freak out. Hehe. Like I would ever do what I put in the dream. Hehe.

Anyway, we really get into Nathan's head in this chapter, so take his thoughts to heart because they have very important to future chapters. We also get inside Dan's head a bit through Nathan, which I think is very important in showing why Dan is the way he is.

Now some people might be upset with Lucas in this chapter, some may cheer, but it's important to remember he's 18 and he won't always go about things the right way. I need him to be a little flawed, like all the characters are because that makes them human.

Ok, so a big thanks to **Hayley** for beta-ing this. You did awesome hun. hugs

Wow, it's almost 3 am and I have to evacuate tomorrow before this storm hits our Texas coastline. Again, I'll be trapped with my family for an extended period of time, so maybe I'll knock out another 4 updates. Hehe.

**Chapter Sixteen "One Thing Is For Sure"**

_Sometimes when I'm far away from you  
I get a little lost, a little out of my element  
I miss the way your body burns  
When we melt alone._

Sometimes when I let my mind run free  
It never fails and it goes right to you  
And a smile takes a hold of me  
I've missed the way your body burns  
When we melt alone.

There are things in this world  
That I don't understand  
Like love, war, gravity  
Or the lay of the land  
But all of these, remain mysteries  
One thing is for sure  
You are worth living for.

**_The Spill Canvas_**

"_Push, Haley, push!" Nathan coached, moving some of his wife's damp honey blonde curls off her face as she struggled to breathe. _

"_I can't, Nathan, it hurts," she cried, one hand clutching her contracting stomach, the other, his hand._

_He stared at her, amazed at her strength even when she believed she held none, "Yes you can, Baby. Just one more push and we'll meet him." He smiled, leaning down to kiss her, holding his lips to hers as she gave one last push._

_The doctor beamed, "It's a boy!" He announced, lifting the beautiful chubby child for his parents to view as his first cries rang out._

"_Oh God, Hales. He's beautiful, you did so good, Baby," He kissed her forehead, before gazing at his son again as they started to clean him up._

_Her grip on his hand loosened and he jerked his head towards her, watching her eyes drift closed and her head fall back limply against the pillow. "Haley? Haley?" He whipped around to the doctor, who was now in deep focus between her legs, "What's wrong, what the hell is wrong?!" His voice grew stronger._

"_She's hemorrhaging." The doctor finally said, screaming for the nurses to call the OR._

_Nathan jumped to his feet, grabbing Haley's face in his hands, "Hales, Baby… please, Haley?"_

_Nothing._

"_DO SOMETHING!" He roared at the staff as he heard the heart monitors accelerate and her body began to convulse._

"_Jesus, baby, don't leave me, don't leave him," He brokenly cried, tears streaming down his face as the enormity of the situation hit him hard. His world, his life was slipping away._

_His and Haley's child started to scream loudly as if he knew what was happening._

_Nathan kept his hands firmly on her cheeks, his tears spilling onto her face, "You hear him? He needs you, I need you. GOD HELP HER!" He yelled again and two more nurses burst through the doors and started to transfer her onto a stretcher._

_Helplessly, he was shoved aside and he watched his wife, his everything, wheeled from him._

…

_He sat in the waiting room a broken man. Lucas slowly approached him with his sleeping son. "He's perfect, Nate." Lucas tried to hand him over and Nathan shot him a look._

"_Get him away from me." He snapped, throwing Lucas off guard. _

'_It was his fault', was the only thing Nathan could comprehend. It wasn't logical, but when he saw his son, all he saw was the reason Haley's life hung in the balance._

"_Mr. Scott?" A somber looking doctor approached him and Lucas, blood all over his scrubs, but seemed to speak to someone behind them, not that Nathan noticed. "We did all we could."_

_Nathan reeled back, "No, no." His head shook with his words and a second later he blew past the surgeon and into the OR he'd been waiting outside of. _

_He saw her tiny legs first, sprawled out, dried blood all over them._

_A nurse attempted to stop him, "Let us clean her up first." Again, she seemed to be speaking to someone else._

_He ignored her and kept going, but when he walked around the machines to reach his wife's, his Haley's, face, it wasn't her he was looking at and he suddenly realized he wasn't alone._

"_Karen?" Dan softly whispered, coming from behind Nathan and cupping her cheek, his voice raw with grief. "I'm here now. It's all going to be ok."_

_Nathan looked up to the viewing gallery and saw his late grandmother holding the child he'd just seen Haley give birth to, only it was clear now, it wasn't his son he'd watched being brought into the world, it was him._

_He approached his mother, her almost black curls shining out to him. She was bruised and bloody, yet beautiful. He turned back to his father, his face was now buried in his mother's chest, sobs racking through his body, her blood staining his cheeks._

_He'd never seen his father cry, not even a single tear and here he was losing all control over his mother, and for the first time in his life, Nathan felt connected to his dad. _

_Understood the depth of love he held for this woman and how losing her had destroyed him. He understood, because if he lost Haley, he'd cease living as soon as she did, child or no child, there would be no life, no future without her._

_Maybe others would view it as cowardly, but they didn't know the love they shared._

_In that second, he almost forgave his father for all the heartache, all the pain of his childhood. How could he blame him when he knew the reason why? It might not have been right or fair but neither was losing the love of your life at eighteen._

_Nathan's grandmother entered the room and placed a hand on his father's shoulder, her eyes brimming with tears. "Come on Danny. Your son needs you."_

_Dan tore himself away from Karen for a mere moment and looked at the innocent child with contempt, the same way Nathan had when Lucas was holding him. _

"_I'm not leaving her." He turned back to Karen and took her hand, kissing it softly, "You hear me Karen? I'm not leaving you. I'll never leave you." His voice cracked with every promise filled word and he had kept that promise. To this day, his heart was still with her, buried six feet under._

...

Nathan jolted up, sweat glistening on his forehead, his breathing heavy.

"Nathan?" Haley sat up at once, her voice groggy, "What's wrong?"

He looked at her and pulled her swiftly into his arms, hugging her tightly and kissing the top of her head.

She was his only constant, the one sure thing in his life and he could never lose her. He didn't give a shit how that made him sound. What she brought into his life was something only she and she only could bring. He had lived without her, but that was before he had lived with her and now she didn't only have his heart, she had his body, his soul, his everything. A love like that was ecstasy, but the fear that came along with it, the fear of ever having to live without it was just as overwhelming if you weren't careful.

She giggled a bit and tried to pull back, but he wouldn't release his hold and she started to worry. "Nathan, you're scaring me."

He backed up just enough to lock eyes with her in the darkened room, "Don't leave me." His voice hitched and she was struck by the pure vulnerability radiating from him.

Caressing his cheek, she smiled lovingly, "Hey…I've said this before, and I'll say it as many times as you need me too. I'm not going anywhere."

Nodding and kissing her lips gently, he settled them back into bed, her head on his chest.

She almost instantly fell back to sleep believing she had alleviated his fears.

Unfortunately, his sleepless night told another story.

…

"Over there," Haley pointed as Lucas struggled into their new home with a heavy box.

He dropped it with a thud before sinking down beside her on the couch, swiping the pint of pistachio ice cream out of her hands, "I wish I got to sit on my ass, stuffing my face as I ordered my family around."

"Aw," She patted him on the head, "Poor Lukey, has to do an honest days work." He glared at her before taking a bite of creamy goodness.

"Whatever." He grumbled, his back aching.

Haley took back her ice cream, "I'm carrying your niece or nephew. So until you can grow the miracle of life inside you, you have no room to bitch."

"Why am I thinking you're going to win every argument for the next six months with that?"

She giggled, "And then when they're born it will be, _'I gave birth to your niece or nephew.'_"

A sweaty Nathan appeared, lugging in more boxes.

"Hey Nate, your wife here is planning on holding this kid over our heads until it graduates."

"Oh and I plan on having many more just to keep up the act." She stuck her tongue out.

Nathan had stayed quiet, the subject making him uncomfortable. He couldn't think of the future, couldn't let himself laugh about what was to come because all he could think was there might not be a future. They were sitting there joking about more kids when she hadn't even had one—safely.

"Nathan?" Haley asked noticing his far away look. "I was only joking about more kids, I mean…"

He bent over the back of the couch and kissed her lips, forcing himself to calm her worries, "Hales, I want an entire basketball team with you." And he did, he wanted a lifetime with his wife and as many versions of her she could produce. He just wasn't as sure the fates felt the same. They obviously had different plans for his mother.

'_Focus, Nathan.'_ "Though, we should probably wait a few years before the next one."

She laughed, "Yeah, I'd like to at least graduate before number two arrives."

Lucas nodded, "Yep, I'm going to need a bad ass post- college job to pay for spoiling two or more. One I can handle, for now."

"I can't believe I hit twelve weeks today," Haley, sighed content, letting one hand rub her small yet hard pooch. She could still hide it very easily, but she definitely felt the firmness beginning to round out just above her pelvis.

Lucas reached over and moved her hand so he could feel, which was pretty easy, today, since all she wore was cropped gray stretch pants and a very thin sleeveless orange tunic. "Are you sure you're not growing a baseball?"

"It's supposed to be hard." She chastised, "But soon it's going to look like I'm growing a basketball, I'm going to be so huge."

"Hey, Mama," Peyton breezed through the door, paint supplies in hand.

"Hey, Goldilocks."

Lucas leapt up to grab the box. She laughed, "It's not that heavy, Luke."

He just shrugged and walked the box to the kitchen, where Peyton was going to finish painting while Haley went to classes.

Haley motioned for Peyton to sit by her, "Ice cream?"

Peyton took the spoon and heaped out a big bite, "Yum."

Nathan watched Haley and his best friend laugh and share the container. He couldn't be happier at how close they had become. Haley needed her and Peyton desperately needed her back. She'd never had a close girlfriend and the last year or so he'd never seen Peyton more at peace. She and Haley had clicked from the start and everyday they bonded even more.

Peyton had been the only one besides Luke that knew about the pregnancy. They hadn't felt the need to tell anyone else until they passed the three month mark- which they had today- but also because of the reaction they knew they'd receive.

It was pretty much a given that his brother and Peyton would be the only ones supporting them once the news broke.

…

"Haley!" Brooke called out once their class had ended. It was Friday and it was also their last class of the day.

"Hey," Haley greeted brightly, subconsciously moving her book bag over her stomach, when her friend caught up to her.

It was silly because she didn't feel you could notice anything yet, especially with the loose tunics she'd taken to wearing the last couple weeks, but her breasts had increased in size(lol, idk.) and many random people had commented on her beauty lately, referring to her as glowing, not realizing the truth behind their words.

So anytime she was in Brooke's presence she had a tendency to be even more covert, Brooke knowing enough about her to perhaps spot the changes.

Brooke looped her arm through Haley's. "You want to grab something to eat? I'm starving."

"Yeah, sounds good," Haley smiled, enjoying the thawing that had occurred between them as of late. The last few weeks Brooke would randomly ask her to go eat and Haley could never say no. It was a chance to spend time with someone she'd considered her family since she was a little girl, and she simply missed her too.

Though, they were hardly getting back to the place they once were. Their conversations were as safe as you could get, both had an unspoken agreement to stay clear of the subject of the Scott brothers.

It pained Haley they couldn't go any deeper. She wanted that more than anything, wanted to be able to finally open up about things she'd hid from her for so long, but she knew she couldn't, at least for now.

Once at the local burger joint on campus, Haley ordered a huge double bacon cheeseburger, Brooke a salad.

"Hales, how can you eat that and stay thin?" Brooke grimaced at just the idea of all those calories and yet Haley had been scarfing them down for a few weeks and stayed perfect.

'_Morning Sickness'_ was at the tip of her tongue, but she held back. "Good genes," she smiled and Brooke threw her wadded up straw wrapper at her.

"This is nice," Brooke said after a quiet moment when their food had arrived.

Haley nodded, "Yeah it is." They said the exact same thing every time they got together. It seemed each occasion they did, it still surprised them how comfortable it felt.

"So how's the new house coming? Lucas seems really excited." Brooke had decided to push the envelope and it shocked Haley a bit forcing her to take a moment before answering.

"Um, it's going great. We should be all set up by the end of this weekend. I can't begin to thank Lucas enough."

"Well, it's ridiculous your apartment building is increasing the rent. I didn't even think they could do that in the middle of your lease."

Her heart ached at Lucas having to lie for her. What would be the harm in just spitting it out? Well, she knew the harm, but she was going with her current mood swing. "Brooke…"

"Hmm?" She didn't look up from her salad.

"Nothing," Haley relented, but not totally, as she thought of something. "Actually, why don't you come over for dinner next week?" Maybe if she saw her and Nathan in their environment, the news would be easier to take.

Brooke sat down her fork and met Haley's hopeful gaze, "I'm not sure if that's such a good idea, Hales."

Haley reached across the table and laid her hand on top of Brooke's. "I know it's a lot to ask, but we've been getting a long so well lately and I want you to be apart of my life Brooke, my whole life and that includes…"

"Nathan." Brooke filled in her blank. "Look, I've accepted you two and while it pains me, I do see how happy he's made you, but we've never gotten along, even before you two got together and that's not going to change and I think you know he feels the same way."

She knew. Nathan had always simply tolerated Brooke. She annoyed him to his very core and many times over the years, they'd come to blows. But she also knew Nathan wouldn't lash out at Brooke if it meant hurting her and she believed they could be civil.

"I know that, Brooke, but think of it as being like before, when we were in high school and he still lived in Tree Hill. You guys managed not to kill each other for Lucas, and I bet you could do the same for me. Plus, Lucas will be there."

Brooke weighed her options, but Haley was extending an olive branch, one that Brooke knew would be a step in the right direction for them.

"Fine," She gave in, "Just make something we have to eat with spoons. I won't be held responsible if you give me any sharp objects."

Haley laughed, but mentally she'd already planned that. She wasn't naïve enough to expect this night to go smoothly. It was hard enough when Brooke and Nathan were competing for Lucas' attention, add her in the mix and god help them all. She only hoped telling her about the baby would offer something else to focus on, whether it was something positive, only time would tell.

…

"Looks good," Lucas spoke up behind Peyton's ladder where she was finishing up the brushed silver trim, she'd chosen to contrast the cobalt blue she'd painted the kitchen.

She glanced down, a blue paint smudge on her cheek, "Thanks. All I have left to do is the nursery, but I have something big planned for that and it will take some time. Think I'll wait a few months and pick a weekend Nathan has an away game and Haley can stay at my place. Got to watch those fumes."

"Well, we can never thank you enough for working so hard this week before we moved in. The place feels like us now." He smiled, glancing over to the emerald green walls with white molding that highlighted the living room, the London Bridge from Nathan and Haley's apartment on an accent wall, bringing the colors from the kitchen and living room together smoothly.

She'd done Nathan and Haley's room in shades of purple and gold, something Haley couldn't stop gushing over.

"Oh I have a surprise." Peyton announced, stepping down from the ladder.

"And that is?" He gave her his full attention.

Grabbing a rag, she wiped some excess paint off her hands and started to walk down the hallway, wordlessly asking him to follow.

She came to his door and stopped, turning around to face him. "Go look."

"What did you do?" He laughed, "I told you it was fine." It was the one room, he told her she didn't have to touch. It was already painted sky blue and that was fine with him.

"I know, but didn't want you feeling left out." She cheekily replied.

Smirking, which was a less intimidating version of his brother's, he opened his door and was immediately greeted with a large mural covering his entire back wall where his bed was.

It was the Rivercourt, _his_ Rivercourt in all its glory down to the rusted basketball goal and cracked cement. She'd even added the benches on the sides and the dark river flowing behind. It was so real and it was really messing with his head.

"You like it?" She timidly questioned and Peyton Sawyer was never timid.

He whirled around, catching her off guard and pulled her into his arms, his lips covering hers before she could even begin to protest. She froze, unable to move, but when his mouth slid erotically over hers, his teeth playing with her lower lip, begging her to open wider—she was a goner.

He never got around to answering her question, but one thing was for sure...he definitely liked her.

…

"Hales!" Nathan called strolling through the front door, ginger ale in hand. She hadn't asked for it, but they were running low and he knew she lived off the stuff these days.

"She's in the bedroom." Lucas replied, sitting on the couch staring at nothing.

Nathan gave him a once over. "You look like hell."

"Thanks, dick." He bit back.

"Whoa, what got up your ass?"

Lucas sighed dramatically, the way Nathan had heard all his life. Lucas was the only male he'd actually call a drama queen. He bitched and pondered more than any girl.

Twisting his neck to face his brother in the kitchen, Lucas decided he was his best option. "When you started things with Haley, did you just know she was different?'

Nathan closed the fridge, "Huh?"

"I mean, I guess I should be asking Haley this, since she actually had a long term boyfriend when she met you, but she's passed out and you'd kill me if I woke her."

"Damn straight. She needs rest and only because of that I'll let you get girly on me for exactly five minutes, but that's it."

Luke waited for him to sit, which he did in a chair opposite the couch. It was a chocolate leather recliner that also rocked, something that would come in handy when the baby came.

"So, what are you talking about?"

Another sigh. "I just meant when you first kissed Haley, which I'm allowing myself to believe that's all you did and quit smirking," He bit out before continuing, "did you know she was different, like you hadn't felt that with anyone else?"

"Honestly? Yes. I think I maybe knew before then, even though all we did was fight, but when we kissed," There was that smirk again, "I knew. I mean she had me feeling things I didn't even know existed- and you suck for making me say this crap." He grumbled.

"Yeah," Lucas agreed, understanding exactly what he meant.

Nathan caught that dopey look on his brother's face. "So who did you kiss?"

"Peyton."

Laughing, Nathan rose to his feet and headed to the hallway, but stopped short before heading down it. "Luke?" His brother turned. "It's about time."

…

"Mmm," Haley moaned when she felt her husband's weight beside her, his arms wrapping around her.

Her eyes fluttered open and met his cerulean gaze, "Hi," she breathed out.

"Hi," he whispered back, giving her a tender kiss.

"Sorry I fell asleep."

His fingers slipped beneath her tank top and stroked the bare skin of her back, "Hey, you need your sleep. Don't be sorry for that."

"I know, I just wanted to be awake when you got back from practice."

"You're awake now," He pecked the corner of her mouth.

She twined her arms around his neck, "Lucas told me they sent your dad home today."

"Yeah, he'll start physical therapy tomorrow."

Smiling, she kissed his nose, "I'm glad. I sent him a welcome home fruit basket. I know he can't have candy, but I thought maybe that would be all right."

Nathan was floored. "How can you do that? After all, he'd said to you, how can you be so forgiving?"

She gave him a shy smile, "He's your dad. No matter what he's said or done, he gave me you."

He kissed her again, this time deeply and when it ended, they were still close enough that their breaths mingled. "I love you." He swore, his eyes boring into hers with such intensity it gave her chills.

'_God, the way he looked at her.'_

"You know when you asked me to never leave you last night?" He nodded, "Never stop looking at me like that."

His hand slid down her cheek, "Never."

And in her heart, she had no doubt that when she was a hundred she'd still be everything in his eyes.

Cath


	17. No Room To Bleed

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, here's another update. I know some may feel I'm beating down Brooke a bit, but it's part of the overall plot. Just like Haley she needed to figure out who she is without the constraints of her youth, Brooke needs to do the same, only I'm not having Brooke almost die to do it, instead I'm giving her a problem I always felt Mark was hinting at in Season 4, even if I'm the only one who saw it. So she has to go a little dark and she and Haley will find their way again, maybe not like before, but find their way all the same.

I know some may be scared by the end of this chapter with NH, but don't be, it's me. Hehe. Even with the bad times, I promise you there will be some "hot" angst and very touching moments. This isn't about any problems with their love or acting out because of immaturity, it's about internal struggles with the past.

I also haven't forgot about how Haley got in the water and soon we'll be revisiting that and why Peyton recognized Chase's bracelet. ;)

Now a big thanks to **Ha **for beta-ing and to the NH thread girls for always making me laugh. A new RA chapter will be coming up next. :)

**Chapter Seventeen "No Room To Bleed"**

_Lie down  
If all that you see has left you unchanged  
What did you mean when you said that I was bleeding  
In vain  
_

_Wait, and I'm living underwater  
Watch while I burn my bridges down  
The words that I say and the hurt goes away  
you leave me no room to bleed  
_

_But somewhere inside I'm still on the line  
You leave me no room to bleed  
Wait on the landscape that I'm breaking  
Watch as I burn my bridges down  
_

_And I've tried to run but now I'm all done_

_**Ben Lee**_

"I can't believe I agreed to this." Nathan grumbled from the couch, watching Haley set the table for four.

Placing the last fork down, she walked towards him and around the couch, her sleeveless silver and burgundy silk floral printed ballerina style dress flowing with her.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. Damn, he was going to love how easy it would be to hike it up later.

Her hair was pulled back in a French twist, allowing him full access to her enticing neck.

Moving to sit between his legs, she played with the gelled strands of his hair, "Come on, Nathan. You know how much this means to me."

He took her by the waist and pulled her closer, kissing the top of each breast. "I know."

She smiled and maneuvered his head back up so she could kiss his lips, "Thank you."

"So what do I get for being so giving?" His eyes twinkled mischievously.

Eyeing his crotch, she smirked, "Just picture me on my knees and tonight I'll make it a reality."

"Ugh, brother in the God damn room!" Lucas bitched having heard the tale end of their convo.

Haley blushed and Nathan simply laughed.

"Sorry, Luke." Haley breezed by him, brushing her lips across his cheek as she went.

"Yeah, yeah. You would think you two got enough last night. I swear to God, even AC/DC couldn't drown you two out."

Pausing at the kitchen entrance, Haley faced him with a smirk and Lucas couldn't get over how similar it had become to Nathan's. "Peyton is so wearing off on you."

Nathan laughed again, "Oh you have no idea, Babe."

Lucas shot him a glare and sat down beside him, "You better not pull that shit tonight." He whispered harshly.

"Chill. I won't blow your cover, but damn you're going to have to deal with it soon."

"I know. Peyton won't even speak to me right now. She doesn't do cheating, she said and honestly, I don't either. I don't know what came over me."

Nathan couldn't help but feel sorry for his brother and the tortured expression he'd been wearing for days. "Listen, Haley didn't do cheating either until she met me and it wrecked her having to hide it, but sometimes when it's the right person all the rules fly out the window. I'm not saying you should keep cheating, but don't be so hard on yourself and if you learned anything from me and Haley it's that you need to come clean, so you don't have to cheat anymore."

"How?" Lucas bit out, "I mean fuck Haley lost Brooke when she came clean. I don't want to lose her. I know what she and I share has changed and that what I feel for Peyton can't be ignored any longer, but I still love her."

Nathan was growing bored; he knew he should have just turned up Sportscenter. "I'm not a therapist. All I know is sometimes you have to lose something to gain something great. Haley and I took that risk and it's worked out damn well. But Haley and I kept up the lie for almost two years, maybe it will be different if you're honest from the start."

"Maybe." Lucas conceded with the doorbell ringing as he did.

Haley rushed out of the kitchen, wanting to get the door and when she did, she pulled Brooke into a fierce hug, "I'm so glad you came."

Brooke hugged her back just as tight; truly feeling that this would be a night to remember with her friend. "Me too, Haley bop."

Pulling apart, Haley took her hand and led her into the house. "This is it." Haley beamed, sweeping out her free arm Vanna White style.

"Wow. It's perfect, Hales.." Brooke spoke genuinely, setting her sights on Lucas finally. "Hey."

He stood and pecked her lips, "Hey, Sweetie. You look beautiful." His eyes took in her form fitting black dress and her signature red lips that shined out to him. Yet the urge he used to have to feel them against his was gone and he wondered if he'd ever get it back.

"Thanks," She glanced away from him back to Haley, uneasy with staying so close to him. She used to jump into his arms at first sight and now…and now, she didn't know. At eighteen, did you ever know? "So what's for dinner?"

…

The four sat in virtual silence as they ate, with only conversation between the girls.

Nathan never so much as glanced Brooke's way, much to the relief of Haley and Lucas. Haley had used forks, after all.

For Brooke, she mostly was observing Nathan and Haley, who sat in front of her, the way their eyes kept finding the other's, the sweet smiles, the intertwined fingers between their plates. It was all so…so real.

She wanted to be sick at the sight, but it only made her sad. Sad that she had never noticed how Chase had never made Haley smile like that and with every authentic gesture exchanged between the married couple she could see how false all of Haley's had been with Chase.

The blinders were now off and it pained Brooke that she couldn't have seen what Haley truly wanted and needed back then. But at the same time, Haley hadn't trusted her enough, although a part of Brooke understood it was more about Haley protecting her than not trusting her.

It also didn't escape her how different Nathan was with Haley. He never held hands with anyone, never even spared them a kind word before tossing them out on their ass when he was done. He was happy, she was happy—they were happy—and she wasn't.

She reached for Lucas' hand underneath the table, willing herself to feel that same completeness she saw in Nathan and Haley, but when his hand clasped around hers all she felt was emptiness.

Of course, she'd been feeling that ever since her doctor's appointment six months back. Having something taken away from you, a part of your future you were so certain you would have, was a blow so severe she wasn't sure she'd ever recover.

"Brooke?" Haley called her name.

"Hmm?"

"I asked if you wanted to see the rest of the house."

Brooke blinked, trying to focus. "Um yeah, of course."

"We'll get the plates." Lucas offered and both girls smiled before taking off down the hall.

Haley entered Lucas' room, with Brooke behind her. "So, this is Luke's room, naturally."

Brooke playfully rolled her eyes as she took in the large shelf filled with eighteenth century literature, the license plates from various states he had since he was a boy and even the mural she'd just noticed that was all him. "Wow, who did that?" Brooke pointed it out, taking in the details.

Visibly stiffening, Haley took a deep breath. "Peyton. She...um offered to help us out. Painting's a big hobby for her."

"Apparently." Brooke quipped, fighting to keep the bitterness from seeping out.

Haley shifted on her red burgundy suede heels, "Brooke, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think if you both tried you might really like each other."

"Haley, it's fine. She's your friend. I'm not going to begrudge you that."

"Yes, but you're my friend too, have been almost my whole life. Nothing I share with her takes away from that." She promised, throwing an arm around Brooke's shoulders.

That seemed to ease Brooke. "Ok, enough mushy stuff. Show me where the magic happens."

Haley giggled and led her to her and Nathan's bedroom.

Afterwards, on the way back to the boys, Brooke paused at the only room she hadn't seen. "What's in here?"

Frozen, Haley was at a loss. This wasn't how she wanted to tell Brooke, but what choice did she have now. Maybe it was better with the guys way out of ear shot anyway. "Um…Brooke there's something we need to talk about."

But before she could register Haley's words, Brooke was already in the room, which was bare save a small teddy bear wearing a Raven's jersey, the number twenty-three across its chest, propped up on the window seal. Nathan had given it to her, a couple days before, as the baby's first gift.

Brooke went and picked it up confused at why it would be in an empty room, but when she turned back to Haley, she noticed her friend's hands were on her stomach and it all clicked.

Haley saw Brooke's line of sight and moved her hands quickly to her sides. She'd been unconsciously doing that a lot lately and from the look in Brooke's eyes, it had been her give away.

"You're pregnant." The words were barely above a whisper, but to Haley it was as if she screamed them.

"Yes."

Her voice was still eerily quiet. "So you really were pregnant when you married him and all those times that I stuck up for you was for another lie?" She hadn't told Haley, but she had defended her several times since that night at the bar.

"No, I swear it didn't happen till after the wedding. I swear to you." She repeated. "I didn't even know I was till I was over six weeks."

Sinking to the ground with the bear, Brooke just shook her head, her heart sinking. "Wow."

Haley went to sit beside her. "We haven't told anyone. We wanted to wait until I hit three months and I was going to tell you tonight, of course not like this, but tell you all the same."

"Why?" Brooke wouldn't look at her.

"Because I love you and because I wanted you to be a part of it."

Brooke let out a cynical laugh. "Oh yes, Aunty Brooke. So you lie to me for two years, suck up to me for a few weeks and expect me to play baby sitter for you and Nathan."

"That's not what I meant, Brooke, and I wasn't sucking up to you these past weeks. God, I just didn't know how to tell you when we were just getting back our friendship. I didn't want to mess that up. You're too important to me."

When she finally looked at Haley, there were tears in her eyes, "Where do I really fit in, Haley? Huh? You're married, Lucas has moved in. You're one big happy family and then there's me and God this is going to ruin your life."

A shot of pain hit Haley, "You always fit in. You were always my family too, Brooke, why can't you see that?" She took a breath, "And how can you say that. You thought Nathan would ruin my life and I'm happier than I've ever been."

Brooke jumped to her feet, "Exactly. Happier than you ever were with me…and you're eighteen, Haley. How will this not ruin you? You think Nathan is going to do his share? You're going to have to drop out of school, while he's off being swarmed by groupies."

Haley stood now too, "That's not fair. I have Nathan and Lucas and they've both been incredibly supportive. That's why I wanted to tell you tonight after you saw me with Nathan. I thought maybe you would see how he's changed and understand that we could handle this.

Brooke didn't want to admit to her that she had seen it, with her own pain blurring her logic. "I can't do this Haley. Ever since you chose Nathan, it's one thing I have to overcome over the next."

"That you have to overcome? Do you even grasp how hard this has been for me too, losing you, having to deal with becoming a mother when you and I both know the stellar example I've had. I need you Brooke and maybe that's selfish, but I do and I know you need me too. Whatever, whenever I will be there for you. I'd be there right by your side if this was happening to you."

"But it's not!" Brooke's voice rose. "It's not happening to me and it won't." Her voice cracked. "I'm not stupid enough."

Her stomach churned at the harshness she was spewing, but she couldn't help it. She had to push this and Haley away.

Tears spilled from Haley's eyes as Brooke dropped the bear and turned her back on Haley, practically bolting out of the room.

Lucas saw Brooke's tear filled eyes as she ran past him and he leapt up to chase after her and out of the house.

"Brooke!" He called out before she could get in her car.

"What?" She spat, "What the hell could you possibly want from me. It sure as hell isn't sex because you haven't touched me in weeks."

He stumbled back as if her words were invisible punches. After a moment, he recovered. "Brooke, calm down. Look, let's just get in your car and talk. Ok?"

She mumbled something, but pressed the lock of her beamer twice to allow the passenger side to unlock.

They both slid in and silence overwhelmed them both for a full minute until Lucas worked up his courage. "I take it, Haley told you."

She didn't answer, giving him his answer.

"She's scared Brooke, she puts on a brave front, but she needs support."

Brooke whipped around to face him, "Haley, Haley, Haley. Let's just all stop our lives to help Haley."

"Brooke." Lucas admonished, "Where the hell did that come from? She's been by your side for years."

"Sorry, if I don't feel the need to change all my plans and move in with her to play Nanny." She shot him a challenging look.

He rubbed his hands over his face. "That's my niece or nephew. I won't apologize for wanting to help them. I want to be a part of his or her life and I know deep down you do too."

She did, but right now, she couldn't own up to that and she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to.

"This isn't working, Luke. Me and you, it's just not."

Sighing, he attempted to take her hand, but she moved it out of his reach. "Don't. I don't want to hear how sorry you are or how you wished it was different."

"I do, I do wish this wasn't whatever it is. God, I love you, Brooke. But you've been pulling away from me and I've been doing the same."

Her head leaned against her cool window, "Where did it all go wrong?" Her sudden whisper broke his heart.

"I wish I knew because I'd go back and fix it. I don't know how to live without you." He confessed, sadness engulfing him.

She gave him a miserable attempt at a smile, "But you can and that's why this is over. It should be that you can't live without me not that you don't know how."

He reached again and this time she allowed her hand to be taken, "Maybe we just need time apart."

"Maybe," She shrugged, "Or maybe we'll be like Haley and find someone else entirely."

Neither said out loud how much that thought hurt them. It had always been the two of them and to comprehend that all that time, that all those future plans had been in vain, broke them. Letting go of each other would be the hardest thing either of them would ever attempt.

"Can we still talk?" Lucas quietly questioned, his voice shaky.

Her hand left his and stroked his cheek, "I don't know. With time, I guess."

He leaned into her touch, holding onto the feeling, wanting to remember it always. She was his first love, first time, first everything. No matter what he felt for Peyton, even if it became stronger than anything he'd ever experience, Brooke would always own a piece of his heart.

"Brooke, there's something else you should know."

She smiled, softness and understanding radiating from it, "We both made mistakes, and I don't think either of us admitting them will change anything."

He should have wondered what she had meant by that, but as she had said, it wouldn't change anything. "You're going to change the world, Brooke Davis."

"Where did that come from?" She laughed, albeit a bit hollow. It was hard to find any joy from this heartbreak.

"I don't know. I just look at you and know it." He smiled now, warming her soul. For the first time in months, she felt a bit at peace.

"I guess I should go," He spoke again, though she could tell he didn't want to. Once he left her car that would be it, the end of Brooke and Lucas, a couple they had both once believed would stand the test of time.

Moving closer, her lips fell softly against his, one last time. "I do love you."

"I love you too, always will." He promised and she believed him with everything in her.

His hand was now on the door handle, "If you ever need me…"

She nodded, "I know."

And with one last painful look between them, he was gone and Brooke felt more tears give way. Taking her phone out of her purse, she dialed the only number that could give her some comfort.

"What's going on beautiful?"

"You free?" She asked, fighting to keep her emotions in check.

"For you. Always."

She tasted her tears, "See you in five and Owen?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

…

Haley was in one of Nathan's oversized Duke sweatshirts, fighting her tears as he held her close. "I thought it would be ok, you know?"

"It will be. She probably just needs time." Nathan lamely tried to console her, keeping his anger towards Brooke out of his voice.

"I've caused her so much pain and I just keep piling it on."

Nathan put his hand under her chin and forced her to look at him. "Don't do that. You made some mistakes, but this baby isn't one of them and if she thinks it is, then she has issues that have nothing to do with you."

A part of Haley did feel that there was something more to Brooke's attitude towards her pregnancy, but for the life of her, she couldn't think of anything. "Ugh, I can't think about this anymore. I'm just making myself sick."

He kissed her forehead, "See there, already being a bad ass mom." He grinned and she smiled back.

"Oh." She suddenly declared, "I forgot. I got the weirdest 'thank you' card today."

"From who?"

"Your dad."

Nathan's jaw dropped, "No shit?"

She giggled and kissed his dropped jaw. "Yep, saying how considerate my gift was and how lucky his son was to have found me."

"It has to be a trick." Nathan deduced and she shrugged.

"Probably is or maybe he found God."

Chuckling, Nathan pulled her sideways onto his lap. "God won't take him. Now Satan, he's been admiring Dad's work for years."

"Amen to that." Lucas said, announcing his presence.

"You know, I thought it would be a few years before someone would be coming into our room and couldn't sleep." Nathan joked and Lucas glowered.

Haley offered Luke a warm smile, "Don't mind him. What's wrong?" She could tell he was upset. She knew him like the back of her hand.

"Brooke and I broke up and before you say anything it wasn't because of you, Hales." He knew her too.

"What happened then?"

He flopped onto the bottom of their bed, forcing Nathan to move his legs. "I kissed Peyton."

"You what!" Haley blew out. "Luke, how could you? I mean I love Peyton, but how could you cheat on Brooke?"

"Glass houses, Haley."

She pouted at that and Nathan stifled a chuckle.

"It's not even really about that. It's just when I kissed Peyton, it made what Brooke and I have become extremely clear. We'd become these actors playing a part. She knew it too and said as much. I love her, but something was missing and had been for awhile."

"And you found that with Peyton." Haley presumed.

"I don't know. All I know is when I kissed her, I wanted more and not just physically. But again, it's not about that. I think Brooke and I both need to figure out who we are apart."

Haley let out a breath, "Well, I can understand that. I mean I checked out of my relationship with Chase long before my accident brought all the issues to a head. Forcing something that isn't there only ends up hurting everyone more in the end."

Lucas shifted to his side to face her, "So you don't mind if I try whatever this is out with Peyton."

"I only want you to be happy as well as Brooke and if you have a chance to find what I have with Nathan by sorting out your feelings, then how can I mind that?"

"Thanks."

"Just don't fall in love too fast and knock Peyton up. I'm still counting on you for some midnight diaper relief." She kidded.

He climbed off the bed, "No worries. Although, with our apparent sperm of steel, I might be double bagging it with her."

"Ew." Haley crinkled her nose.

Lucas' eyes widened. "Ew? No, 'ew' is hearing you and Nathan going at it morning, noon and night."

"Which reminds me," Nathan broke in, "get the hell out of here so I can tap that ass, will ya?"

Lucas mock gagged and headed for the door, "Just please give me a minute to secure my headphones."

"You are so bad." Haley chastised her husband once Lucas was gone, though he knew she secretly loved it.

"Oh, I'll show you bad." Nathan wiggled his eyebrows, throwing her into a fit of giggles as he pinned her beneath him.

While Haley's heart broke for Lucas and Brooke, she couldn't help that hers was so unbelievably full. Tomorrow, her worry about Brooke would sink back in, but tonight, tonight she would relish in the joys of married life.

Unfortunately, she couldn't foresee that soon it would be hard to find any joy at all. But marriage was not only about the good times and that was a lesson every couple had to face, even one with a love that knew no bounds.

Cath


	18. I'll Catch You

**Author's Note:** Hey all, I'm so sorry it's taken so long to update this. I hope it's worth it. My fabulous beta, Ha, had this ready last week, but I went home for Thanksgiving and with so much family and shopping didn't get a chance to get online.

Just a warning, there will be no LH romance in this. I'm writing them very close because they are and because it sets up some insecurities in Nathan. I added a new character because I'm so in lust with him on the show. Again, no worries with him either and I bring up music in this chapter, but there will be no tours or anything in this story.

There is also a surprise in this chapter and it's not for shock value or to be cheesy, it's simply to play up the Scott brothers parallel and use that material, since the Scott family is big in this story. Now go read and I can't wait to hear what you think. It always inspires me. :)

**Chapter Eighteen "I'll Catch You"**

_Your arms in mine, anytime  
I wouldn't trade anything  
You're still my everything  
To my surpri__se, before my eyes, you arrive_

I'm still breaking old habits, habits  
When you pulled the wool over me  
I can see everything, everything  
Remembering "jinx removing"

Don't worry I'll catch you  
Don't worry I'll catch you  
Don't ever worry  
No need for reminding  
You're still all that matters to me

_**The Get Up Kids**_

"Peyton, you can so tell." Haley grumbled walking into the bar with her friend, her arms wrapped around her midsection. "I mean it's like I woke up this morning and it was just there."

Peyton shook her head, "Haley it's been there for weeks, it's just starting to pop some more." She glanced down at Haley's stomach, flinching when she moved her arms away, becoming well aware this simply wasn't Haley being paranoid. Of course, it didn't help that she had to wear a skin tight outfit to work.

"Owen is going to fire me. I know he is. What bar owner wants a waitress with a huge stomach trying to convince horny college boys to stay and have more rounds. Yeah, I'm a real advertisement for being carefree. God, I'll probably convince them all to become monks."

Neither saw Owen to the side of them clearing off a table, "Well, I don't know about that, Haley, your rack is going to be even bigger than it already is. Pretty sure that will keep their eyes from going any lower."

Haley froze, Peyton grabbing her by the shoulders to face Owen. She swallowed the lump of nerves in her throat. "I was going to tell you today, Owen."

He walked towards them, an understanding smile on his face and handed her an apron to tie around her waist. "James, I'm not going to fire you, but I do think we need to find something else for you to do. I don't know much about pregnant women, but you don't need to be on your feet all night in four inch heels."

Feeling a rush of emotions, Haley flew forward into his arms, hugging him fiercely. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. You don't know how much I need this job," she pulled back, worry taking over her features once more, "but what can I do?"

Grinning he waved a guy over, she hadn't noticed, who'd been at a piano on the stage. She swiftly tied the apron around her, to hide her more obvious than normal condition. She didn't need it spreading around the entire town just yet.

"Haley, Peyton, this is Julian. Julian this is Haley James and Peyton Sawyer.

He smirked at them both, his eyes lingering a bit longer on Haley. "Is this the girl?"

"The girl?" Peyton spoke up for Haley.

To his credit, Owen blushed a bit, "Yeah, um I hope you aren't mad Haley, but I kind of figured out your situation last week after overhearing you with Nathan and well actually I was going to talk to you about this even before that."

"Ok?" She hedged.

"First off, I want you to start working behind the bar, but on weekends I thought you could play a few songs, maybe even sing a song, or two with Julian." At her shocked expression he continued, "I've heard you at closing. You're amazing."

Now she was blushing, "Look, this is really sweet, but I'm not into singing in public. I enjoy the writing aspect more. I'd be worthless up there."

Peyton nudged her, "Come on, Hales, it would just be for a little while and you could make some bad ass tips."

Julian cut in, "And you'd be helping me out. I'm more into the performing, but I suck at the practical side. So what do you say? Between the two of us, I think we could have an amazing run." He smiled a dazzling smile at her and Haley was fairly sure he knew the power it held.

He could give the Sirens of Greek mythology a run for their money. Even, Peyton's usually stellar bullshit radar was temporarily disabled by his charm. She was actually cracking a smile at him and shockingly it appeared genuine.

Oh, Nathan was not going to like this guy, but they needed the money. She'd have to quit any kind of job once the baby was born, as daycare would cost more than she could ever make.

"Sounds like a plan," Haley relented, plastering a confident smile on her face.

Julian took her hand and kissed the back of it, "Then let's get started on rehearsing, beautiful."

She smirked, taking her hand back, "Keep the comments to yourself and we'll get along just fine."

Chuckling, Julian watched her saunter off with the other blonde. "I think I'm in love." He smirked.

Owen smacked him on his back, "So is her husband, so keep it in check."

…

"My feet are killing me." Haley groaned, plopping down on the couch, stretching her legs over Lucas' lap. "Take them off…please." Her bottom lip jutted out.

It was only eight o'clock, but Haley had been at work since ten, so she figured she had a right to bitch.

Doing as she said, Lucas shot her a glare when she wiggled her toes, "Do you see a wedding band on my finger?"

"But they hurt." She whined, "And Nathan won't be home for an hour. God, I hate away games. He left at five this morning and I didn't get to say goodbye."

Starting at her ankles, he started to rub; after all, he had promised Nathan to take care of her when he was forced to be away and besides it wasn't as if she hadn't made him do it after a few cheer competitions in high school. God, he was whipped and she didn't even have sex to hold over him. Lord knows what she could convince Nathan to do.

"At least he'll be home tonight. The real hard stuff is when he has to be away over night or even a few days. You know that's coming, right?"

She nodded, but didn't look at him, "I don't really like to think about it."

Not wanting her to get too down, Lucas switched topics, "So, Monday we get to find out the sex, right?"

It worked, her face lit up, "Yep, god I don't know how some women want to wait. You have to bring me remember? Nathan is meeting us there straight from practice."

He scoffed, "Like I could forget. Besides, I got a hundred bucks riding on it being a boy."

She leaned up and smacked him on the arm, "You, and that brother of yours. I swear he's convinced it's a girl because I'm starting to show a lot more suddenly. Apparently, on some random voodoo pregnancy site that means a girl. I swear he lives on that laptop these days."

"Yeah," Lucas agreed, "Most guys our age would have their comp filled with porn, but that boy's favorites are crammed with every pregnancy article known to man."

Haley paused at that, "You know it kind of makes me nervous, though."

"Hmm?"

"It's just that I think he's worrying too much…ugh I don't know if that's the right word. He's just cramming so much for this, almost as if he has to know anything and everything that can happen. Some nights I wake up and he's reading these horror stories about child birth."

Lucas was about to respond when the doorbell rang. He glanced at Haley, but she only shrugged, not having a clue who it could be.

"Maybe Nate forgot his key," he said more to himself than Haley; however, Nathan knew where the spare key was hidden.

Opening the door, Lucas stiffened at the sight of his father before him.

Dan smiled and Lucas had to blink, confident he was misreading the warmness coming from it, "Dad, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see your new place, son. Can I come in?"

Ever the peace maker, Haley came to Lucas' side and motioned for Dan to enter. "You're looking well Mr. Scott."

"Haley, dear." He leaned in and kissed her cheek, "It's so good to see you. I remember a time when I didn't go a day without doing so."

Haley allowed a small laugh to escape at the memories of countless hours spent at the Scott abode, growing up, as Lucas still stood there speechless.

Following Haley further in, Dan grinned widely, "The place looks great, and it's clean. I know that's all because of you, Haley."

"Thank you." She cut her eyes to Lucas who was still a bit shell shocked. "Um, Lucas could you call Nathan and see if they're almost home."

"But Haley…"

She went to him and laid a hand on his arm, giving Dan a revealing side profile of her body, still in her uniform from work. "It's fine Lucas."

Dan was floored for a second time in the span of sixty seconds. A simple touch from the petite beauty had Lucas in utter submission and comfort, and Dan didn't even have to see her with Nathan to know it was the same way. It terrified him how much she reminded him of _her_.

He couldn't see it before, actually, he wouldn't see, but it was always there. He'd seen it from the time she was eight years old chasing Lucas around the house, her laughter contagious to even his stoic form.

His wistfulness intensified as he took in the pictures of the three of them. From her and Nathan's wedding, to the beach, to basketball games, and in them all, it was impossible to miss the different versions of love she held for the brothers and the way their eyes never left her.

She gave them something he and Deb had failed miserably at—a home—one filled with love, happiness and most of all contentment. Before his heart attack he would have resented her, hell he had, yet now all it did was bring his own shortcomings to life and show him the life he could of have had with Karen—the home he could have had.

"Mr. Scott?"

He turned from the mantle, his face somber. "Please call me Dad."

She shifted on her bare feet, "I'm not sure…"

Taking a step closer, he took her hands in his, "Please, Haley."

Sighing, she removed herself from his grasp and took a seat on the couch, motioning him to do the same. "What is this Da…Dad?" Nothing had ever sounded so foreign on her tongue. "I like to think I can see the good in anyone, but I've known you almost my entire life and…"

"You don't trust me?" He continued for her, his eyes downcast. "I don't blame you and I have a long way to go before I can remotely repair the damage I've done to my sons, but I'm hoping starting with you is a step in the right direction."

"Is that what this is? You're only being nice to me so I can maybe convince Nathan and Lucas to give you a chance? Because if it is you can go to hell. I won't ever dictate the way they should feel towards you. They have every right to keep whatever wounds they have open and you only have yourself to blame for that."

Shaking his head in pride, he patted her on the knee, "No, that right there is why I'm being nice to you. You stand up to me and protect my sons, something no one else has ever done." His gaze lowered to her midsection, "Besides you are carrying my grandchild and that makes you a priority in my book."

Mentally kicking herself for not changing, she rubbed her small belly, "It will be Nathan's choice if and how you see him or her."

"I accept that, but I can't live the rest of my life without trying to be a part of this family. I've wasted almost twenty years." He let out a heavy sigh and she nodded in understanding.

Maybe she shouldn't believe him, maybe she was setting herself for one of his games, but for the first time since she'd met Dan Scott, all those years ago, there was an unmistakable softness to him, something that told her he was actually changing or at the very least giving it his all.

She assumed this is what women called maternal instinct. You don't know how you know certain things or why you can see things no one else can or wants to, but you do.

She turned to her father-in-law, willing herself to give him this chance. "I'm not doing this for you Dan, I'm doing it for your sons. They both need to get past certain things and I'm not sure they can without your help, but make no mistake if you hurt them…"

Nodding, he gave her a small smile, "Thank you. I know it won't be easy, but simply repairing our relationship will go a long way, I believe. Now, how far along are you? Do you need any help? Is it a boy or a girl? Do…"

She held up her hand, "One at a time." She titled her head to the side, taking him in. This was still ridiculously unfamiliar to her, having an actual conversation with Dan. "I'm almost four months, we're fine, and no we don't know the gender yet."

"And you won't ever fucking know." Nathan fumed from the doorway. "Get the hell out, Dan."

Dan and Haley both jumped up.

To everyone's surprise, Dan appeared flustered and ashamed, "Nathan I didn't come by to cause trouble. I just wanted to see your place."

Nathan snorted going to Haley and pulling her into his side, "And con my wife? I told you before to stay away from her and you can include our child in that now too."

Lucas took Dan's arm, "Just go."

Dan didn't argue and went to the door, but stopped to turn back to Nathan, his voice laced with regret. "I see it now," He cut his eyes to Haley, and then left without another word.

"See what?" Haley questioned as Nathan unconsciously placed his free hand on her bump, stroking it gently.

His gaze was still on the door his father had just left as he whispered his answer, the answer that left him reeling. "You and my mom…he sees it now."

Nathan desperately wanted to believe this was some sick joke and perhaps in the light of day, he would, but that admission had cost his father every ounce of his pride, something Dan Scott would never risk, for even the most twisted game.

Nevertheless, believing someone and trusting them were two entirely different things, especially when it came to his father.

…

"You can look now, unless you find a bloated stomach sexual." Haley laughed, tucking her teal satin cami under her breasts as she lay across an exam table, a sheet barely covering the fact that the only other garment she was wearing were a pair lavender panties.

Lucas still refused to look at her, "Well, Nathan sure as hell does. Are you sure I can't see anything?"

She rolled her eyes, "Grow up and call Nathan again."

Facing her, Lucas' eyes honed in her belly and a smile graced his lips at the sight. "Wow."

She let out a disbelieving laugh, "What? You've seen it. You see it everyday."

He shook his head, the wonderment never leaving his face, "Not like this. I mean, it's real Haley,"

At her look of astonishment at that statement, he found a better way to explain it, "Look, I know it was always real, but I never saw it like this and I don't know, it's just real." Ok, maybe he spoke too soon about a better way.

Grasping what he meant, she took his hand and placed it on her bare stomach, "Pretty amazing, huh?" It was a completely different experience with skin on skin contact. Nathan couldn't get enough of it.

Nathan stood at the door taking in the sight before him. It was irrational and pretty pathetic, but he couldn't contain the jealousy soaring through his veins. His brother gazing lovingly at his wife's stomach, her smile directed solely on him.

He knew he was late, but god damn he wasn't late enough for his brother to step in and assume the role of father and hell husband by the way he wouldn't get his fucking hand off her.

Clearing his throat, he made his presence known. Haley grinned widely and Lucas blushed a little at being caught in such an intimate moment with Haley, immediately pulling his hand back.

It wasn't as if it was actually intimate in the normal sense of the word, yet Nathan's tense demeanor set off an automatic self awareness in Lucas, causing him to forget Haley was his best friend and view her simply as his brother's wife.

It was an odd sensation, though if Lucas were truthful it had been happening off and on since Nathan and Haley married.

As much as Lucas knew his brother loved him, Nathan was still bothered, to a degree, with how close he and Haley were.

Still, he couldn't help that and he wouldn't apologize for it. It wasn't his fault; Nathan had been a dick for years, wasting time he could have had with Haley. Yet, Lucas still froze as if he'd committed some unforgivable sin when his brother made it known he was less than thrilled with whatever position he'd be in with Haley.

Nathan crossed the room and shot his brother a look, to which Lucas swiftly moved from Haley's side to allow his brother to take his rightful place.

"I'm so sorry, Baby. Coach wouldn't let us leave." Nathan bent down and gave Haley a tender kiss.

She caressed his cheek, "I'm just glad you made it."

Feeling a bit awkward, Lucas made a move to leave, "I'm going to step out or head home I guess."

"Luke?" Haley's voice stopped him. "Thanks for bringing me."

"Anything for you and my nephew." He winked at them both and Nathan cracked a smile at that, the tension easing.

"Just put that hundred bucks in your _niece's_ college fund," Nathan tossed back, his hand occupying the same spot his brother's had before, the hardness beneath his palm swelling his heart.

Haley rolled her eyes, stifling a yawn. "I do pray it's a girl because lord knows two Scott brothers are enough to handle already."

Lucas laughed, offering them a small wave and leaving the room.

Nathan brushed a few strands of hair behind Haley's ear, before allowing his hand to drift back to their child. "You look exhausted, Hales."

"I'm ok. At least the morning sickness is wavering, but honestly I've never been this tired before."

His forehead creased in worry. He knew this was normal, but it didn't make it any easier seeing her this way. "I'm sorry, Baby."

She shrugged and gave him a radiant smile, placing her left hand across his. "I'm not. It's worth it."

"Yeah…it definitely is." He murmured, smiling the sight of their wedding bands glimmering together. "Not to mention you look hot as hell with this thing." He spread his fingers out wide over her smooth rounded skin. "When will it get bigger?"

Haley giggled at his pout of impatience, "Only you would get horny at the thought of me being a weeble wobble."

He smirked, "Oh, I'm always horny with you, wife. Just looking forward to having more of you to love."

"Love, screw…same thing, right?"

"Since I met you…_always_," He leaned down and kissed her again.

The doctor strolled through the door, "You know that's what put you into this situation."

Now red cheeked, Haley greeted him, "Hi Dr. Anderson."

"Mrs. Scott…Mr. Scott," He returned, amusement in his eyes before sidling up to the other side of Haley and turning on the machine. "So, how are you feeling?"

Haley sighed, "Exhausted."

"Well, your blood work from last week looks fine, save a fairly high HCG count. Your weight gain is right on track, maybe a pound or two more than we would like. We may have to adjust your due date. Let's just see what we hear first before we get to the show?"

The couple nodded and the doctor set the Doppler to her stomach, the whooshing of a heartbeat instantly dominating the once silent room. The doctor grinned sliding the Doppler to the left a bit, getting ready to turn it off when something struck him, a softer whooshing replaced the previous, something the parents to be wouldn't notice as odd, but he did. Though, it could be nothing at the same time, merely an echo.

"This is your first ultrasound, right?" He looked at the two.

Haley grew a bit nervous, "I had one at six weeks just to figure out the due date, but that's it. Why?"

The nurse came in, as if on cue, handing the gel to the doctor as he warmed up the machine. "No reason. Just want to check something out. I assure you it's nothing to worry about."

Reaching for Haley's hand, Nathan squeezed it as the clear ice blue gel was smeared over her stomach, her shiver running up his own arm.

Haley locked eyes with him and she could tell he was as nervous as she was. Feeling evidence of their child through her growing stomach was one thing, but seeing it was going to bring on an entirely differently realm of emotions that no one can explain until it's them in that position.

Placing the wand on Haley's stomach, he moved it around slightly until a tiny image could be made out in the swirls of black and white. "There's its head," The doctor pointed out, "Its spine," He continued as Haley's eyes filled with tears and Nathan swallowed down a flood of emotions, "And, look what we have here. You want to know the sex?"

"YES!" Haley shouted, a bit surprised by her outburst, the doctor and nurse chuckling at her enthusiasm. She glanced at Nathan and saw him fighting to keep his emotions in check, but the death grip on her hand told her he was about to lose it at the sight before him.

She couldn't blame him. It was surreal, seeing your child for the first time, the instant love threatening to consume you. God, she could barely breath because it was so overwhelming.

"It's a boy." The doctor finally announced after pausing to print a few images off the screen of the body and genitalia. "And you are definitely almost sixteen weeks."

"We're having a son," Haley whispered as Nathan swooped in to claim her lips, a tear slipping from his cheek to mingle with the overflow of her own.

The nurse made a move to switch off the machine, but the doctor stopped her, maneuvering the wand to a few random spots, letting out a breath when he found what he suspected. "Well, I have some more news for you. We don't have to worry about your HCG levels or your weight gain; actually you might want to gain a bit more."

Nathan was the one to speak, "What's wrong?" He sat down on the bed, squinting at the monitor trying to decipher what could cause the doctor to draw that conclusion. "Did he turn? He wasn't like that before?"

Haley focused in too, agreeing that the baby's head was towards the left of the screen this time.

"That's because this isn't him. It's his twin…congratulations."

Haley immediately started to shake her head, not willing to let the information absorb.

"What is it?" Nathan questioned, faring slightly better than Haley. At least he wasn't in complete denial yet.

The doctor attempted another angle and smiled, "Well, it was a little hard to tell at first, this one is a bit more hidden, but it's definitely a boy. They're fraternal, but are definitely both male."

"Two? Two boys?" Nathan stumbled out and the doctor nodded while the nurse wiped Haley's belly. "How?" He croaked out. This was insane.

The nurse grinned, "It happens, only in about three percent of cases without fertility treatment, but it does."

After writing a few notes in his patient's chart, the doctor faced the couple. "We'll leave you two alone. I'll see you in four weeks, Mrs. Scott and there will be some literature on multiples waiting for you at the front desk."

Hearing them leave, Nathan turned to Haley, whose arms were crossed in defiance. "Hales?" He gently coaxed, needing a reaction.

Haley let out a shaky breath, her own worries of double…well double everything, preventing her from noticing the fear radiating off her husband.

Her hands went to stomach. "How can we do this, Nathan? How can we afford this?" Her voice was so soft, so broken that it was enough to snap Nathan out of his own issues and focus on her.

"I don't know, but we'll get through it." He promised, praying she believed him, needing her to be strong to get him though as well.

…

"I'm getting a vasectomy," Lucas grumbled, staring at the pictures, not at all impressed with the sperm track record of their family.

Nathan snatched back the photos, still floored at the one before him with the letters 'a' and 'b' pointing to his sons. Jesus, _sons_, not son. This was not happening.

"Hey is she ok?" Lucas nudged his brother, motioning towards a dazed Haley on the couch staring at nothing.

"Not really and can't say I blame her. Fuck, Luke what are we going to do?" The raven haired brother ran a hand over his face.

Lucas squeezed his shoulder, "You just need to be strong, for Haley and for your sons. You guys can get through this, you know that."

Nathan laughed bitterly, "That's what I told her, but damn it she shouldn't have to get through this Luke. God, she gets hooked up with me, almost dies, wakes up and I somehow convince her to tie herself down with me for life and not a week into our marriage I knock her up with twins—at eighteen on top of that. Jesus, at least I'll be twenty one when they come. "

"Nate, Haley doesn't think of this last year that way. You didn't force her into anything and you know she loves you. This is what she wants too."

Letting his eyes fix on Haley's stunned face once more, Nathan cursed under his breath. "Do you know how tiny she is? This is too much for her, Luke. What if her body can't handle it?"

Lucas cut him off. "Yes, I know how tiny Haley is and yes I can see where you might be a tad worried, but women have been doing this for generations in all shapes and sizes. Sure, the end might be a little tough on her body, but Haley's young and strong. If anyone can do this, she can."

Haley turned to them, her lip quivering, as she finally acknowledged there were others in the room. "Two." She croaked out and Lucas was immediately at her side, wrapping her in his arms. Nathan was too guilt ridden to even move.

"It's ok, sweetie." Luke coaxed, feeling her tears against his neck, running a soothing hand through her hair and down her back.

"Two, Luke, two." She mumbled and he held back a chuckle. Haley was never at a loss for words, but it seemed this event had transformed her into a broken record.

"I know, Hales, but think of it this way. Two means twice as much love."

She reared back, her face horrified, "Are you on drugs? Two means twice the money, twice the dirty diapers, and twice the breast feedings…twice everything!"

Well, maybe not quite so speechless anymore. "Hales," he cupped her cheeks, "Would you take it back? If you could go back into that doctor's office and have them tell you it was a mistake, would you want that?"

More hot tears slid down her flushed cheeks, "No."

He pecked her nose, "Tell me why?"

"Because there are two." She whispered, a ghost of a smile appearing on her face. "I saw them, Luke. They're beautiful."

"Yes they are, Hales and you already love them. The rest will fall into place."

She sniffled, "You know, I don't remember a time in my life when you weren't there for me, even after I hid so much from you."

He pressed his forehead to hers, "Remember when we were younger and you'd freak when Chase pushed you too hard on the swings?"

Nodding, her smile widened, "yeah and you stayed in front of me the entire time with your arms out in case I flew off."

His thumbs ran over her cheekbones, "I said it back then and I'm saying it now, I'll always catch you, Hales."

Nathan stayed back, astonished at how his brother had calmed down his wife and in turn, more guilt ate away at him, knowing it hadn't been him to comfort her. He was the father, the husband and he'd never felt more helpless than he did watching his brother step up where he had failed.

After hugging Luke, Haley stood and went into her husband, wrapping her arms around his waist, "We'll get though it." She beamed up at him, repeating his earlier words, finally believing them and wanting him to do the same. "I love you, you know that?"

He pulled her close, kissing the top of her head, "I love you too." He softly agreed and while Haley reveled in his embrace, allowing it to fuel her optimism, Lucas didn't miss the increasing panic in his brother's eyes as he clung to his wife, almost as if he were afraid she'd disappear.

Lucas couldn't stop the dread pitting in his stomach. He may have helped Haley, but he couldn't even begin to figure out how to help his brother. A few simple words of encouragement wasn't going to fix this and worst of all, Haley had no idea there was anything to fix and that's what terrified Lucas the most.

To Nathan, protecting Haley was what mattered at all costs, but what he couldn't see was that by protecting her from everything, especially his own fears, he would only end up hurting her all the more.

* * *

~Cath~


	19. Dream Of Mirrors

**Author's Note:** Hey all, I got inspired with this story, so I updated again. This chapter was very hard to write, though and it's mostly Nathan's view point. We have another dream in this chapter that I feel demonstrates how fear can feed your subconscious and have you being irrational in both real world and dream world. I think we've all had those dreams that intensify whatever fears we're having and this is one for Nathan.

One of the things I like about Nathan on the show is that he's not always calm and mature with his feelings because until Haley he never even knew love, so it's easy for him to fly off the handle with things and be insecure.

Again, real world never any Lucas and Haley romance. Nathan is sleep deprived, stressed and his demons/fears are taking over his life and dreams. Oh and I added more Julian in this chapter just because I'm so in lust with him. Hehe.

Next chapter Peyton confronts him somewhat on his behavior and Chase is back!! Brooke will be too and we get some more clues to the past and Haley's accident.

Enjoy!! Thanks again to **Ha**, for being an amazing beta.

**Chapter Nineteen "Dream Of Mirrors"**

_Have you ever felt the future is the past, but you don't know how...?  
A reflected dream of a captured time, is it really now, is it really happening? feel that I have lost my mind_

_All my hopes and expectations, looking for an explanation  
Have I found my destination? I just can't take no more_

_Something makes me feel I just might lose my mind  
Am I still inside my dream? Is this a new reality  
Something makes me_

_I get up put on the light, dreading the oncoming night  
Scared to fall asleep and dream the dream again  
Nothing that I contemplate, nothing that I can compare  
To letting loose the demons deep inside my head  
_

_Dread to think what might be stirring, that my dream is reoccurring  
Got to keep away from drifting, saving me from myself_

_Lost in a dream of mirrors, lost in a paradox  
Lost and time is spinning, lost a nightmare I retrace  
Lost a hell that I revisit, lost another time and place  
Lost a parallel existence, lost a nightmare I retrace_

_**Iron Maiden**_**  
**

Haley groaned as something forced her body to reluctantly leave a blissful slumber and wake up to the soft morning light. As gently as she could, she attempted to lift Nathan's arm from around her waist.

Sensing her escape, Nathan tightened his hold and nuzzled his nose in the crook of her neck, "No."

She smiled at his deep throaty protest, "Baby, I need to pee and you have an economics class in half an hour."

"Hold it," He murmured back, snuggling further against her, his stiff appendage pressing into her lower back, causing a low moan to escape her lips.

He smirked, "Sounds like someone wants to stay in bed."

Damn, did she ever, but they'd both been late the last four mornings due to raging hormones and she wasn't sure their professors would take kindly to either of them bursting in half way through lectures for much longer.

"How you still want to do me after I said I have to pee, I have no idea." She giggled, titling her head back to place a tender kiss on his forehead.

"I always want to do you." He nipped at her neck.

She was about to get up, so she could hurry back, when she gasped, her hands flying to clutch her stomach only to be met with Nathan's much larger ones splayed over the entire bump, refusing to let go.

"Shit…Haley was that…" His voice was a mix or worry and awe, as if he couldn't let himself believe what he had just felt.

Speechless, she nodded, her hands spreading over his. They were silent for another minute until Nathan felt more light fluttering against his palm and Haley experienced it, amplified, deep within her. "Oh my God, Nathan. I felt tiny little somethings before, but this…this is definitely them."

Nathan beamed and shifted her onto her back before laying his cheek against her bare bump.

Seemingly knowing their father was close, it started up again. It was barely there at times, but Nathan still felt it.

Haley grimaced a bit, as it started to feel more like smalls waves in her stomach. Nathan was definitely on the more subtle end of these sensations. At this point, it was hard to decipher who was where, it was all meshing to one central spot, but Haley knew the bigger they got, the easier it would be to tell which one was the guilty party.

Haley smiled down at her husband, running a hand through his thick dark locks. She hadn't seen him this carefree and happy in weeks, especially the last four since they found out they were having twins. He was still loving and supportive, but she felt he was holding back, that something was plaguing his thoughts.

She'd chalked it up to a double load of responsibility that had been placed on his shoulders, as she herself still had trouble absorbing it all, but seeing him now she didn't view that as the issue or at least the sole one, given his apparent joy at feeling his sons for the first time.

Maybe it was simply everything as a whole piling up: school, basketball, family. Whatever it was, she hoped it would dissipate or that he'd open up to her soon, instead of giving her his standard, 'nothing's wrong' answer.

"This is incredible, Hales." He lifted his head to set his captivating grin on her, "I can't believe I got to feel it," his smile faltered.

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't you?"

He shrugged, placing a light kiss on her rapidly growing stomach. Size wise, it looked like she was carrying a volleyball in there and she definitely couldn't hide it anymore.

And while the looks and whispers at school bothered her more than she would admit, he couldn't help the pride he felt at everyone knowing she was carrying his children, especially the male population. If she'd let him, he'd draw a big '23' on her bump and force her flaunt her belly to the many that still gawked at her.

It was a tad caveman, but he was Nathan Scott and it still shocked him that guys thought they had a right to even look in his wife's direction.

She was still waiting on an answer, when he locked eyes with her again, "I don't know, I just thought I'd miss it while I was at a game or practice and that probably Luke would be the first."

Haley sighed, "Even if he was, it wouldn't matter. You're next to me every night and you will get to experience it a million times more than Luke will."

Sitting back up, he pulled her into his arms, her head resting against his chest, "Do you think it's wrong I wanted a girl? Or at least one of them to be?"

She leaned back to shoot him a confused look, "I thought you just said it was a girl because of whatever it was you read. You really wanted one?"

Ashamed, he turned his head away from her to the window, "I already love them, Hales, I do, so much that it hurts, but I just had this picture of a little girl in my head."

She raised her hand to cup his chin and turn him back to her, "Oh yeah? What was she like?"

His eyes roamed her face, envisioning Haley's spitting image staring at him just as her mother was now. "Just like you."

Playfully rolling her eyes, she dropped her hand from his chin and swatted him on the arm, "You mean stubborn, clumsy and a rambling machine?"

His fingers drifted across her cheek, "I was thinking more along the lines of beautiful, kind, gracious, with eyes that had me bending to her will and a smile that takes everyone's breath away."

Tears clouded Haley's vision, "And you say Lucas has the way with words. Though, that was a bit on the cheesy side."

He chuckled, "So, you're not mad?"

"Of course not. I know you love our boys and I always knew you'd be an amazing father no matter what gender we were dealt. Plus, to be honest I was kinda rooting for a little boy with your eyes."

Smirking, he found where his sons were laying once more, "Well, odds are at least one will have them, but next time we're definitely having a girl."

She let out a small laugh, "Only you could be cocky enough to think we have a choice."

"Well, it is up to me and my swimmers will do as they're told, assuming next time I know I'm about to knock you up."

Giggling and moving out of his embrace, she reached for her short satin robe to head for the bathroom. At the sight of his pout, she shook her head, "I'm going to start breakfast after this, so unless you want your brother seeing me naked and probably having a heart attack, retract that bottom lip, mister."

"Fine, just do me a favor and leave it off until you get to the bathroom. Give Daddy something to fantasize about while he's in econ."

Blushing, yet doing as instructed she sashayed into the bathroom, stopping at the doorway to pose and give him a nice profile shot. Lucky for her, Nathan found her pregnancy to be the ultimate turn on and she'd never felt more sexy in her life.

"Ugh, get your sweet ass in there before I lose it."

Blowing him a kiss, she closed the door behind her.

Gazing into the mirror, she began to hum to herself as she rubbed her belly taking in her appearance, amazed at how much she'd grown in the last few weeks. Though, every month she seemed to have that thought.

Hearing her husband rush around the bedroom, presumably after seeing that he didn't have much time before class, she grinned and said a silent prayer that his mood would stay intact, and that the weirdness was gone for good.

…

Hours later, Nathan returned home, ready for some one on one time with his wife, but she was nowhere to be found. Grabbing his cell out of his pocket, he pressed the first speed dial only to end the call a second later when he heard her voice on the porch.

"Hal…" He paused when he caught sight of a sweaty Haley and Lucas, arms wrapped around each other as they strolled in casually, Haley wearing only tight cotton shorts and an equally tight Duke t-shirt, showcasing her condition to its fullest.

Haley looked up and frowned at his tight smile, "Hey, sweetie." She took a step closer to kiss his cheek, but he backed away before she could reach him. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" He glared between the two, Lucas' bewilderment only pissing him off more. "You're five months pregnant and outside in the fucking heat working out."

"Is that all?" She laughed, "Jeez, Nathan I'm allowed to work out. We just jogged for a bit. Besides, I won't be able to do it for much longer anyway."

Lucas shrugged, "Yeah, the books say it's fine right now. It's not like she's having any complications."

Nathan scoffed, "Yet, dumbass. She's not having any _yet_. Damn it, Luke you're suppose to watch her when I can't. How in the hell could you let her do this?"

Haley stepped between them, staring Nathan down, "Let her do this? I'm not a freakin' child, Nathan, and I sure as hell would never endanger our kids."

"I know that, Haley, but you've got to take it easy. Even if you feel fine, you might not be."

Her hands flew to her hips. "Nathan, pretty soon I won't be able to walk straight let alone jog. Hell, I'll barely be able to stand for long periods by the end of this, but I finally feel better. I'm not getting sick anymore, and my energy is increasing. I want to enjoy this while I can."

"Whatever, but you're done working out." His voice left no room for argument, not that she was one to listen.

"I'm not a dog, Nathan Scott," she poked him in the chest, "This is my body and I know my limitations. So you can kiss mine and your sons' asses as we walk away from you."

The brothers watched her huff off down the hall, the bedroom door slamming shut behind her.

"Smooth." Lucas cracked, biting his lip to keep his laughter at bay.

"Shut the fuck up."

Lucas shook his head, "Listen, we were barely even jogging man. Trust me, it was nothing heavy duty. I wouldn't endanger Haley, no matter how hard she fought me."

Nathan grabbed his keys off the table, figuring he'd get to practice early, "They aren't your kids Lucas and that's not your wife, so why don't you let me make the fucking decisions for them." He snapped before stalking out the door and into his truck.

…

"Nathan Scott?" Julian picked up his pace to catch up with the slightly taller athlete as he made his way out of the gym. "You know I've been waiting an hour for you to stop those damn solo shots. Not sure why you'd stay late when you could be home to that hot ass wife."

Halting his steps, Nathan turned, "And who the hell are you?"

Julian stuck out his hand, "Julian Baker. Haley's Julian." He clarified with a shit eating grin on his face.

Nathan ignored his hand, fixing a hard stare on him, the name obviously not ringing any bells. "How do you know my wife?"

"She's my partner, on stage, not in bed, don't worry."

Clenching his fists, Nathan fought to keep control. This was not his fucking day. "She told me she was having mercy on some talent-less musician, guess you're it."

Chuckling with that same grin, Julian shoved his hands in his pockets, "Fair enough. Husbands have never liked me; well I should say boyfriends because I'm not sure I've ever met someone Haley's age that was married."

"Well, now you have." Nathan bit out.

"Hey, no worries, I get it. I would have married her, if you hadn't beaten me to it. She's got it all, don't you think?"

The veins in Nathan's neck started to bulge, "If you fucking lay a hand on her…"

Throwing his hands in the air, Julian took a step back, "I'm not after you wife, man. Although, I can't help it if she falls in love with me. I'm quite charming if I do say so myself."

There was that fucking grin of his again. "In your God damn dreams, asshole."

Shrugging, Julian figured he better get to his point. As fun as it was to rile this guy up, he had places to go, people to do. "Look man, Owen told me you'd be here since he wouldn't give me Haley's address. She didn't show tonight for rehearsal and she's not answering her cell. Thought maybe you'd know why she bailed."

Nathan honestly had no idea and he felt like shit for it, but that only lasted for a second before the worry took over. "She probably got sidetracked with classes. She'll call you whenever, I guess."

"That's cool. Remind her we're on at nine tomorrow if _somehow_ you forget to have her call me." He winked, knowing good and well it would just happen to "slip" baller's mind.

Not sparing the tool a second glance, Nathan took off to his SUV.

Five minutes later, he pulled into the driveway and as fast as he had left the house earlier, he made it inside even faster.

Making his way down the hall, he stopped dead in his tracks in front of Lucas' room. The door was wide open giving him a clear view of a sleeping Haley curled into his brother's side, Lucas' hand resting on her protruding stomach.

A few Kleenex's were strewn about on the other side of Haley and once again he was smacked in the face with the fact his brother had been there to comfort his wife.

They appeared so natural, so in sync, that it made his stomach churn and his knees weak. To anyone else it would appear Haley and Lucas were the couple expecting and that he was just the asshole they put up with.

He thought back to that morning and what he shared with Haley. Those intimate moments had been few and far between the last few weeks, with his demons demanding regular attention and basketball consuming what they didn't. They had barely had time to make love. Don't get him wrong they had sex daily, sometimes multiple times, but quickies weren't exactly making love, no matter how fucking fantastic they were.

Lucas, though, seemed to have all the time in the world and was the perfect surrogate husband/father-to-be a girl could ask for. Every fear he wiped away, every food craving he met, every ache he massaged and every grateful smile he lapped up.

Backing up until his back hit the wall, he sank to his knees, putting his head in his hands. He needed a drink and that bottle of Scotch above the fridge had his name on it. He'd do anything to keep the nightmares at bay for at least a bit longer.

They were waiting for him, calling out to him and he wasn't sure he could survive whatever twisted version they decided to play out in his mind tonight.

They had first revolved around his mother, then his father's torturous parenting tactics and now Haley was in the starring role. She had always played a part, however now she was front and center, his breath escaping him every time she was in peril. It was as if someone literally reached in and squeezed his heart until his lungs collapsed.

He wasn't sure how Haley hadn't woken up to him gasping for air almost every night. It was crippling and his only salvation was seeing her beside him and reminding himself she'd still be in his arms when morning finally came.

It was getting harder to hide, however. His temper wasn't faring well and even feeling his children kick for the first time wasn't enough to battle whatever darkness was taking hold of him.

Sometimes he had no idea how he got here. To be blunt, it had been his mission to fuck Haley since she'd grown tits and when he finally accomplished that, something inside him snapped, one night was not enough and even back then he was sure he'd never get enough when it came to Haley. His body craved her and only her. He couldn't even look at anyone else. It was scary as hell, but realizing he'd fallen in love with her trumped it.

Never had he known it was possible to need someone so much that you literally ached when you were apart, even if for only a few hours. And now she was giving him two sons, two extensions of herself, two more people that he would need to exist.

And a part of him was starting to wonder if they needed him the same way. He was feeling more worthless with each passing day; that he didn't deserve everything he had and at the same time, he didn't have a clue how to fix it.

Desperately needing to drown out his thoughts, he rose to venture into the kitchen and sink himself into oblivion once more.

…

_Nathan awoke with his head throbbing and in a chair he didn't recognize. Adjusting his eyes to the light, he realized he didn't recognize anything in the much larger home he was currently inside of, yet at the same time, it felt familiar, like home._

_He stood and took in the comforting living room in chocolates, creams, and blues. There was also a black piano in the corner and closing his eyes, he visualized Haley sitting at it, her voice radiating throughout the house. _

_That's when it hit him, why it felt so familiar, this was where Haley lived, the décor, the warmth, it was all Haley, and in turn that had to mean he lived here too._

_Grinning with a newfound sense of excitement, he explored the house more. It was beautiful and everything he and Haley dreamed of having one day when they envisioned their future together in that tiny apartment they first shared._

_Standing in the sunny kitchen, children's laughter called out to him from the backyard. Going to the window, he peered out and his heart stopped all together when he caught a glimpse of Haley, a very pregnant Haley in bright purple bikini caressing the sides of her stomach._

_He blinked trying to make sense of the image. How could they be living here when she was still pregnant with the boys and her hair…it was darker, richer and fell to her shoulders in waves. A stark contrast to the long flowing blonde locks she had donned, yet equally as stunning._

_'Jesus, she always took his breath away.'_

_The laughter struck him again, so he moved to the French doors to get a better view and there they were—his sons. He wasn't sure what was going on or how he got here, but his brain wouldn't let him linger on that mindset, instead it lulled him into the beauty of the family before him and forced him to abandon all logic._

_Haley glided down the steps of the pool to meet her boys, their boys. They looked to be around five and Nathan was hit with a sense of déjà vu at their looks when they faced the house pointing at something—maybe him—and their eyes glistened in the sunlight._

_They both had large blue eyes, a perfect mix of Haley's shape and his color, but where one was blonde, the other was raven. _

_The blonde had a button nose and pouty lips, like his mother, and the raven haired boy appeared to take more after him, enough so you could jokingly refer to him as his clone._

_It was almost as if he was watching his younger self with Lucas at that age. Total opposites with a connection no one could break. _

_The overwhelming love he felt for the two after a mere few seconds of laying eyes on them threatened to send him to his knees. This was his family; this was his life, a life he and Haley created together._

_Quietly he stepped outside, leaving the door open behind him. _

"_Mommy!" The blonde one giggled before launching himself on her back. _

_He watched his wife toss her head back with laughter, before turning her neck to share an Eskimo kiss with their son. _

_The other splashed her with a mischievous grin and she grabbed him, tickling him senseless._

"_Stop….Mama…pwease." He got out between giggles._

"_Say you're sorry, Jake." The blonde shook his finger at him, while still wrapped around his mother's shoulders from behind._

_Nathan's breath hitched, 'Jake'. They had named him after his best friend._

_Jake stuck his tongue out at his brother, but then smiled at his mother who had ceased her torture, "I'm sorry. I love you, Mama."_

_She chuckled and lifted him up to give him a sloppy wet kiss on his check, "I love you too Jakey."_

"_I love, Mama, too." The blonde pouted. 'God, he was Haley all over when he did that.'_

"_And Mama loves you, Jamie." Haley turned and grinned, relishing in being flanked by her boys. Nathan knew she was going to be an incredible mother, but seeing her in action was awe inspiring. They adored her and he'd never seen her more at peace._

"_Well, Daddy loves you all." A voice behind Nathan declared._

_The boys squealed in delight. "I told you I saw him!" Jake shouted swimming to the steps with his brother._

_Nathan's blood ran cold as he watched his sons racing towards his brother._

_Lucas chuckled as he bent down and picked up both boys, "I've missed you guys!"_

"_WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" Nathan tried to shout before discovering anything he said would fall on deaf ears._

_He figured before, that his kids and Haley simply hadn't been aware he was there, now he knew they never would have known. _

_Those were his children, there wasn't a doubt in his mind, but this sure as hell wasn't his life, it couldn't be._

"_Daddy, wanna go swimming?" Jamie asked, his hands on either side of Lucas' face demanding his full attention. _

"_Definitely." He winked at Haley who had emerged from the pool, his eyes roaming over her wet body causing Nathan's stomach to violently churn._

_The boys cheered and squirmed out his arms and leapt back into the pool, water wings and all._

"_C'mere" Lucas whispered once Haley was within reach._

"_I'll get you all wet." She giggled, but still went into his arms, sighing when she laid her head on his chest, her bump pressing into him hard. Neither cared, they needed the comfort. "I didn't think you'd get back till tonight."_

_Lucas pulled her back enough to lock eyes with her, "Caught an earlier flight. Might have pissed off a few readers at the signing, but tomorrow's going to be a tough day for us all, especially you, and I wanted to be here._

_Stroking his cheek, Haley smiled, "I'd be so lost without you, Lucas Scott."_

_Nathan was literally shaking at this point. They were so intimate with each other, so loving and it was being shown to him as if he were watching some epic movie, where you simply didn't just hear the words, but you saw the emotions played out before you, absorbing the character's every thought before they uttered a single syllable. That's how he knew it was only going to get worse._

_Lucas brushed his lips over hers, "Same here, Haley Scott. Just promise me you won't start feeling guilty when we visit him tomorrow."_

"_It's getting better, I promise. It's just sometimes I think if I hadn't kicked him out he'd be alive today."_

"_Oh, Hales." He held her tighter, one hand going down to massage her bare stomach. "He was on a downward spiral with the drinking, hiding it from us for months, and you were eight months pregnant. You couldn't control him. He was the one always getting drunk and he was the one that got behind the wheel."_

_She gazed up at the sky before meeting his eyes again; needing to show him that she was focusing on the present. "I know that, and you just reminded for the millionth time what an incredible husband and father you are. You'll never know how much it means to me that you talk to the boys about Nathan, telling them stories, reminding them how much he loves them and that he's always watching from above and yet you always treat them as your own." _

_She turned to smile at her sons before facing him again. "And the fact that you bring me flowers on my anniversary with him and still let me cry when I need to…I love you so much," Her throat constricted with emotion, "How did I get so lucky?"_

_Backing away, Lucas allowed both hands to wander around her bump, his gaze directed at it fearing he'd lose it if he focused on Haley. She was his everything—best friend, lover, wife, amateur editor, personal cheerleader, mother of his children— and while he was a writer, declaring his emotions to those closest, wasn't always the easiest._

"_Haley, loving you completely means loving the part of you Nathan will always hold. You know, I never allowed myself to picture you romantically, let alone as my wife, but when Peyton shut us both out and it was just us and the boys trying to make it day by day…well let's just say that by the end of that first year I knew I was meant to be with you."_

_Cautiously, watery blue met compassionate brown, "I've always loved you, Hales, but falling in love with you, Jamie, and Jake was the greatest gift. There's not a chance in this world I'm going to love them any differently than the daughter we're about to have."_

_A single tear slipped down Haley's cheek and he enveloped her in his arms allowing her shining eyes to call out to Nathan over his shoulder. _

_What they reflected was the fatal blow to Nathan. He saw the utter happiness, the contentment, the love, and even the gratitude, but he also saw the heartbreak, the longing, and the regret swimming in her endless pools._

_Never had he wanted that for her and the only other time he'd seen her that way was before they had gotten together, when she had mastered the art of pretending. _

_He didn't see it earlier because with their children she didn't have to pretend and maybe to an extent she didn't have to with Lucas either. He was her best friend, her family, had been almost her entire life, and it was obvious her love for him had grown, but the marriage angle, the happily ever after, he recognized the mask she discreetly wore, all too well._

_After all, he was the one to remove it when he asked her to walk away from the world she knew and become his wife._

_And now, his actions had forced her to seek its protection once more, to hide the immense pain she still felt, the pain he caused her._

_And while he could see she was content, she didn't look at Lucas the same way she had looked at him and she never would. It was a deep love, it pained him to admit that, a love that most people envied and sought out, but it wasn't the soul shattering form they had shared._

_What killed him, though, was that Lucas could live with that, could love her enough to see past the way she had loved his brother before him and it was obvious how effortless that was for Lucas._

_One glimpse at the way he gazed at Haley, told Nathan that his flesh and blood was in fact desperately in love with her or at least at everything she represented._

_Peyton might have changed all that, but losing him and Jake must have been too much, leaving Lucas never knowing what could have been and allowing him to rely on the one sure thing he's always had, Haley._

_She was his entire world, there was no doubt, and in a way, Nathan knew she probably always had been. Only, Lucas had never let himself explore more until it was handed to him on a tainted silver platter—the memories of Nathan, good and bad, always lingering._

_Nonetheless, Nathan was powerless to change anything._

_He was dead, his brother was raising his sons, was married to Haley, making love to her whenever he pleased, and the daughter she was carrying, the daughter Nathan dreamed would be just like her, was Lucas'._

_If he weren't already dead in this world, he surely would be now. What was before him was a fate worse than death. It was hell on earth and he wondered if he was in hell, if this was his punishment, to watch the love of his life in his brother's arms, living a life she was meant to live with him._

_Was this a pattern? Did it always start by making him believe this was all his, only to have it ripped away before his eyes? _

_The last thing he remembered was a fight with Haley and she was still only five months pregnant. Lucas had said he died when she was eight months. Maybe that was the point; have him forget the misery he created in the months in between so the impact would be far greater when he was smacked with his reality._

_Whatever it was, he wanted out. Everything was starting to spin and the need to vomit was swiftly approaching._

"Nathan…Nathan…"

Grumbling, at the sound of his name, Nathan blinked a few times to focus on his brother before him.

Glancing around, he noted they were in the hallway bathroom of the small house they shared.

It was only a dream—of hell—but still a dream.

"Dude, you must have heaved and passed out. I've been trying to wake you for ten minutes."

Gripping the toilet, Nathan hoisted himself upright. "Where's Haley?"

Lucas crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. "Still in my bed and she's going to stay there until you pull your head out of your ass."

"She's my wife, Luke." His words were soft yet powerful.

"Nathan, I don't know what the hell is going on with you, but you need to talk to Haley or me or hell a professional. You're all over the place lately and Haley doesn't need that right now." He paused taking in the sight of the half empty bottle of Scotch on the bathroom floor. "Does she even know you're drinking like this?"

Splashing cold water on his face, Nathan sighed, "Always the hero, huh?"

"What does that mean?"

Throwing a washcloth down, Nathan faced him, "It means that you're always there to rescue her. I bet if I was gone you'd swoop in and raise my sons too."

Lucas wasn't sure where this shit was coming from, but no matter what it pissed him off, "You know what? I would, in a heartbeat, because I love Haley and I love my nephews and if you couldn't step up, I sure as hell would."

"Stay away from her." Nathan gritted out, starting to see red.

Laughing bitterly, Lucas gave him a pitiful look, "You are seriously losing it. I'm not the problem, you are, and as soon as you start admitting that the sooner things will start getting back to normal."

Lucas turned on his heel ready to head back to bed, when Nathan grabbed his wrist to stop him, "You're right." He let out a breath. "Look, can you just stay in our room tonight. I only want to tell her I'm sorry and be there when she wakes up."

Seeing the guilt in his brother's eyes, Lucas relented, "Fine, but I'll sleep on the couch. Not going near that bed." He cracked a smile, willing himself to feel normal with his brother, praying this was simply a phase, and at the same time, Nathan didn't have the heart or energy to tell him that the couch had gotten plenty of work outs too.

Stepping out of his shoes and slipping off his shirt, Nathan slid into Lucas' bed and molded himself against Haley's back, "I'm so sorry, Baby," he murmured laying a soft kiss on her bare shoulder.

She let a soft moan escape, pushing back against him, her slumber only willing to give him that much.

After a second kiss, he pushed her tank top up and moved his palm over her rounded skin. In this bed, he had everything he could ever want or need.

They were his life—they were his—and no one, not even his brother would take them away.

* * *

~Cath~


	20. Let It Die

**Author's Note:** This is not an illusion, I'm actually updating. So sorry for the wait, but I took a hiatus from this show and everything just because real life needed focus. Anyway, I'm back and trying to write because it is my form of therapy or an outlet.

Now, this isn't very long, but it's intense and I needed to be. Just remember I'm a happily ever after writer. Haley needed this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it and I have big plans for other stories. I'm taking RA in a whole different direction than I planned and I'm excited for that. Hope you guys will be too.

Love you all and thanks for hanging in there. Oh and this also wasn't beta-ed, but I just really wanted to get it out to you guys, so mind the errors. Sometimes you miss things when you only see what you meant to write. Ha

**Chapter Twenty "Let It Die"**

_A heart of gold  
But it lost it's pride  
Beautiful veins  
And bloodshot eyes  
I see your face  
In another light_

_A simple man  
And his blushing bride  
(Why'd you have to go)  
(And let it die)  
Intravenous  
Intertwined  
(Why'd you have to go)  
(And let it die)  
Hearts gone cold  
Your hands were tied  
(Why'd you have to go)  
(And let it die)_

_Do you ever think of me  
You're so considerate  
Did you ever think of me  
Oh so considerate_

**_Foo Fighters_**

Stepping into the kitchen, Nathan was hit with a suffocating rush of tension as soon as he saw his wife furiously scrambling eggs. "Hey,"

Jerking her head around to him, she shot him a glare, though it broke her heart. Her hormones were driving her insane. She needed to be angry with him, had to stand her ground, but the bigger she got the more vulnerable she felt, the more terrified she was of what was to come, of losing him no matter how toxic he was for her.

She'd noticed his shift in moods lately, not to mention the cracks it was causing in their marriage, but damn it, did he know how hard this was on her too? Did he know how she struggled to keep a smile on her face and to see the positive in all this?

"What do you want?' She faced the obviously well blended eggs once more, pouring them into the pan, the sizzle from the impact emphasizing Nathan's pregnant pause.

Stepping closer, Nathan still kept his distance. "I'm sorry I missed the ultrasound."

"Whatever." Haley continued stirring the eggs, the consistency becoming fluffy, mocking the moment.

"Damn it, Haley. Will you yell or something? This ignoring me and my screw ups isn't fucking helping."

She laughed and turned off the stove, "Isn't helping YOU feel better right? Because if I yell or scream then you'll feel like you've been punished and can move on to pull your next stunt. Well, you know what Nathan, I'm tired of your apologies, and I'm tired of your Jekyll and Hyde complex."

He sighed and reached out to touch her shoulder, to which she flinched, making his heart the one to break now. "Haley…I've just been going through a lot and basketball…"

"Are you ready to talk, to stop with the excuses, and tell me what's going on?" She interrupted.

"That's what I'm doing. Trying to balance everything has just been harder for me than I thought it would be, that's all."

Grabbing three plates, Haley divided the eggs, "No that's not all. The Nathan I married would never have missed our appointment yesterday and the Nathan I married wouldn't sneak out of our bed every night the last couple weeks to pass out on the couch, but you know who would?" Shoving a plate at him, she gave him a look a disgust, "The Nathan that fucked me and told me not to go cry to Lucas, the one that treated me like a piece of ass for months because he couldn't get a handle on what he felt for me. But maybe that is the one I married come to think of it and the version when I woke up in the hospital was some act you should get an Oscar for."

Slamming the untouched plate in the sink, Nathan grabbed her by the shoulders, his own anger flaring. "That's bullshit and you know it. I love you. Don't for a second question that. And by the way, you weren't Miss fucking perfect either when I met you."

She moved away.

"No, I wasn't, but ever since I married you and found out about being pregnant I've fought to get through each day, to put a god damn smile on your somber face since we found out there were two. Sure, you had a couple good days here and there but for the most part, I feel like I'm in this alone. Do you know how hard this is on me? I'm the one carrying them, I'm the one that has to give birth, breast feed, take the brunt of it all, while you throw a ball through a hoop!"

"You think I don't know that? Fuck, Haley, I know what I've done to you and it kills me."

Feeling sick, Haley sat her own plate down verses nearly breaking it in the sink like her counterpart. "That's the problem, Nathan. Even with all the stress and worry I have, I feel so immensely blessed and wouldn't change my life for anything."

She took a breath, tears brimming in her eyes. "Granted, this wasn't what I would have ever planned, but everyday when I feel these two move inside me or catch a glimpse of my stomach in the mirror, everything else disappears, but you…you look at me like you gave me AIDS or something. Like having these children equals a death sentence. You can't even stand to be around me anymore."

His face softened, "It's not like that. I want them and I want you, always. It's just…"

"It's just what?"

He didn't want to hurt her, but at the moment he couldn't control what he was feeling either. "I think maybe we rushed into all this…it's just a lot to take on for me and especially you."

The moment he said it was the moment everything changed, the moment nothing could be taken back with a few sweet words or edible treats. The room before had been merely brimming with the anticipation of words left unspoken, leaving only thoughts of the damage that could have been, but now the line had been crossed, the words anything but unspoken and all that was in it's wake was gut wrenching agony for both parties.

If he had shot her, she would have been less shocked and more importantly less scarred. Her mouth fell open and her body grew heated while at the same time her heart felt utterly defeated. "A little late for that now." She whispered, grasping her stomach.

Guilt flew at him, "I didn't mean it the way it sounds."

Her voice was still feather soft, "You couldn't have meant that any other way."

"Hey guys." Lucas strutted into the kitchen, kissing Haley on the cheek and patting her expanding belly, oblivious to the storm brewing within the house, not that he hadn't noticed the dark clouds manifesting for the last few weeks.

Nathan voice went hard, previous guilt put to the side. "Look who it is, Daddy Lucas."

"Oh give it a rest, Nate," Lucas drawled out while grabbing the orange juice out of the fridge.

Haley winced at him drinking it out of the carton, but focused on pressing matters, "At least he's there." She threw her husband a look. Husband, that word had lately left her feeling disgusted at its mention.

Giving her a sickening smirk, he glanced between the two of them," At least I know he can't knock you up...for another three months that is."

Running her hands over her stomach, Haley fought to contain her tears. She couldn't let him win. she couldn't' lose it, like always of late, she had to hold it together. It wasn't about her anymore, it was about her children, and she would do whatever it took to protect them from any harm, especially from their father. "I'm late for class."

Reaching out, Nathan took her arm, the severity of his statements sinking further in. "Haley..." He'd never had censor on his mouth, always lash out first, regret later and right now the severity of that weakness was facing him dead on.

Plastering a smile on her face, she turned unconvincing eyes on him, "I'm fine, I'm just late for class."

Both brothers watched after her worriedly.

"You're an asshole." Lucas spat and finally went after her when it was obvious Nathan wasn't moving.

The door swung open before he reached it, Peyton nearly colliding with him, "Whoa, Lucas, what's with you and prego Scott trying to run me down?"

Pausing, Lucas simply glared in his brother's direction before brushing his lips across Peyton's cheek and racing to his Yukon where he knew Haley was waiting probably on Nathan, but not counting on it.

Closing the door, Peyton sighed, "I really thought you'd get over this."

"Get over what? Lucas manhandling my wife every chance he gets?"

Laughter immediately erupted from Peyton and before long she was wiping tears from her eyes, "You are truly losing it." a few more giggles escaped and she finally calmed down enough to talk, "Putting whatever Lucas and I are starting or experimenting with aside, they're Lucas and Haley. They are closer than siblings, yet still keep the—disgusted reaction of every being together sibling thing—to their bond. They've always been affectionate, hugging, sharing a bed, kissing hello/goodbye, but that's it."

"He's always rubbing her stomach!"

Peyton gave him a look, "And?"

"And what? That's not normal."

This time she rolled her eyes, "I rub her belly, and strangers rub her belly, which to me is the more disturbing thing, but whatever. He's their uncle. He loves those babies and should. And you should be damn grateful he's picking up your pathetic ass' slack."

Crossing his arms, he sat on a stool, "You don't get it Peyton."

"I don't get it? I lost a mother too, Nathan and I lost Jake. I know what you're doing. Pulling away because you're scared of losing her. The whole 'People Always Leave' mantra you and I adopted in high school. But you know what, keeping that mentality is going to be the reason why people always do leave and when they do you won't be able to blame God or fate—only yourself."

…

Walking into class, Haley wanted to groan out loud at the lack of seating available. Brooke and her sorority minions were in the back, heads together with the latest gossip and as if they could sense fresh meat their heads all turned toward her or more importantly her ever growing bump as she struggled in between rows to get to a seat.

She was used to their anything but sincere smiles and the outright judgment in their eyes. When she'd married Nathan they all, save Brooke, envied her, now they acted as if she had trapped him and that he was the poor victim stuck with her.

Her due date couldn't come fast enough, for the simple fact she would be able to prove when these babies were conceived. Still, the double standard enraged her. That Nathan was thought of as the poor innocent boy who she obviously held a gun to his head to have sex with her.

Granted she was poor now, but she had just enough if not more than Nathan's family when they met. His future NBA earnings would merely compete with what would have been her trust and yet she was the gold-digger in their eyes.

Through out class, she struggled to hold it together, but her conversation with Nathan and his indifference lately steadily ate away at her. Tears continuously pooled in her eyes, but each time she blinked them away.

When Brooke walked past her at the end, with nothing but a haughty look towards her, that was it. She ran, as quickly as she could manage in her state, to the parking lot. Trying to open Lucas' door, she screamed out when she discovered its locked state and collapsed by the passenger side, the tears exploding from her eyes.

She felt arms around her and turned to sob into the illusion of their comfort, for while she knew they held nothing except support, it only made her feel more empty knowing they weren't the arms she truly wanted.

"Shh." Peyton soothed. "It's gonna work out, Hales, I know it will."

Gasping for breath, Haley pulled back, "No, it won't. He doesn't want this anymore, Peyton."

"Yes, he does, he's just…"

"He's just WHAT? GOD!" Another gasp for breath "I can't do this anymore." The last part she barely said above a whisper, the reality of her words cutting like a knife through what was left of her heart, a heart she wished wasn't even there.

She'd heard stories of people dying from heartbreak, the depression, and the loss so enormous their bodies saw it as a disease and lost the battle. At this point, she understood that all too well and even with her children inside her, a part of her ached for that sweet release of death, of never having to feel an ounce of pain again from imagining a future without Nathan in it.

It was selfish, she knew that. She was a mother now, she was supposed to be strong and had been for months, but God she was still eighteen and heartbreak at eighteen, well at any age can seem like the end of the world, even if it's for a day, a week, a month, a year. There is no timetable for the grief of someone breaking your heart or spirit and even the mightiest of us fall when it hits.

Peyton swallowed the lump in her throat, "What can I do?"

The dark blonde simply began to cry harder and sink back into her friend's arms. She had no answers, only gut wrenching anguish taking hold of every ounce of her body, mind, and soul at the one thought running through her mind.

She had to let him go because he was obviously letting go of her.

* * *

~Cath~


End file.
